Don't You Wanna Take a Ride with Me?
by stephk0525
Summary: Can an intense encounter that began in the gym's sauna lead to a meaningful relationship? Cautiously, Bella attempts to test drive this theory with her gorgeous Spin teacher, Edward. Fasten your seat belts and hold on tight. Rated M for L/SC.
1. Chapter 1 Feels Like the First Time

**Disclaimer: This is rated M for a reason. If you aren't old enough to vote, you aren't old enough to read this story. I own the same first name, just spelled differently. I don't own the good stuff that's made her famous.**

**Chapter 1 – Feels Like the First Time**

**BPOV **

Shit! Almost 7:30. _Gotta hurry or I'm going to be late for my date_.

I anticipated Wednesday nights with the desire of a strung out crack whore. I lived for them, and heaven only knew I needed the release after the shitty day I'd had. Learning that one of my favorite patients was back in the hospital had really upset me, and I needed to get rid of my pent up frustrations. There was definitely something to be said for getting nasty, sweaty, and being worn the fuck out as a means of expelling one's stress.

I felt confident in saying that no one, and I mean NO ONE, could make me sweat more or wear me the fuck out like Edward could.

_Damn, Bella. You really make it sound so much more exciting than it actually is. You don't even know Edward's last name. The fact that you lust so hard for someone you have never spoken to, and only spend an hour a week with – in a room full of other people at that – really gives a new meaning to the word pathetic. Angela is so right. You need a life, sister._

With that thought I tied my bandana around my head durag-style and grabbed my water bottle and a towel. Flinging my gym bag over my shoulder, I trotted out of the women's locker room and made my way over to the cycle room.

I wanted to make sure my favorite bike at the back of the room was free. It was my spot of choice for many reasons, the most important being that I could eye fuck Edward with little chance of being caught. It was comforting to know that should he make random eye contact with me, I could always attribute the mad blush on my face to being flushed from exercise.

Being in the back had other advantages as well. There was always the possibility that Edward would try to strike up a conversation if I chose a bike in the front, and I simply couldn't have that. He frequently made small talk with the punk-ass-teacher's pets that sat in the first row before he started class, and I had absolutely no desire to demonstrate how fast I could morph into drooling-blithering-idiot Bella if Edward decided to speak to me.

Yep, obscurity was my middle name.

Cycle class, or "spin" as it was otherwise known, had become my new religion over the past three months. And bless me father, Edward was my new preacher. The fact that God himself had placed such a perfect, beautiful, sculpted specimen on this planet was proof that there was indeed a higher power.

_Oh sweet Jesus. Those magnificent green eyes, the beautiful lips, that GQ jaw. Damn. Arms cut and defined, not overly bulky… I could only imagine his pecs and abs - probably a six-pack; no, screw that, an eight or ten-pack … I'd bet my life on it… _

I hadn't missed one of Edward's classes since I joined the gym. Having just transferred from the respiratory therapy department at Seattle Children's Hospital to Dr. Cullen's private practice, I now actually had more time to go. It was a much needed change.

I had become far too attached to my patients and took it as a personal failure when their conditions worsened. Since I was no longer working crazy ass hours at the hospital, I broadened my horizons with a gym membership. I figured it would be a great way to meet new people and to get my ass tight enough to bounce quarters off of in the process.

Immediately spotting my coveted bike in the back corner, I scurried like the mouse I was past Edward who was flipping through his music. Once I got my bike adjusted, I hopped on to begin my ritual of warming up while simultaneously visually molesting Edward.

_Ah, Edward. I love it when you wear your ball cap all turned backwards like that. Sigh. In no time, your shirt's gonna be soaked with that sweet Edward sweat. Dear lord but it makes my nether-regions achy seeing your muscles flex and contract. I bet being in between those glorious thighs would be like being caught in a fucking vice…_

"Okay everybody; it's time to get started!"

The sweetest, most melodic voice on earth snapped me back into the present. "Welcome to indoor cycle. My name is Edward and I will be your instructor on this fine Wednesday evening." He began his usual pre-class explanations of proper bike set-up, general tips for first timers and a rundown of what drills he would be doing.

With the music now radiating from the sound system, it was time to get down to business. I let the rhythm engulf me as I concentrated on keeping pace with Edward's cadence. One of the things I loved most about spinning was the simplicity. I was one of the most uncoordinated and rhythmically challenged human beings in existence, and even I couldn't jack up peddling one foot in front of the other. If it were possible, I would have.

"Hit-hit-hit-hit-hit-hit-hit! That's your cadence guys. Just try and follow the beat of the music and stay with me. Focus on feeling the ride. Okay, in five, everyone up out of the saddle - five, four, three, two, one, everybody up!"

_Yes, I would for sure hit-hit-hit that right there. Repeatedly and with much vigor would I hit that….._

"Everyone see the red knob just below the handle bars? Turning it to the right increases the tension, to the left decreases. Now, let's all reach down and add some love with a full turn to the right…"

_Oh yeah, add tension. When he says "love" he means tension. Jeez, I hear the word love leave his lips and my wheels shoot off…focus Bella, focus. When did everything turn into a sexual innuendo with you? Well, maybe if you got laid, your mind would stay out of the gutter. I mean really, it's been so damn long since Garrett in radiology, you are probably a born-again virgin. Not that the sex was all that earth-shattering anyway. I mean, I thought it was nice; maybe it could have gotten better. What was it Garret said he was looking for again? Oh yeah, 'a woman that made him fall to his knees with her electric touch,' like there was such a thing. Although, last I heard he was seeing Kate from the ER….._

I was pulled out of my rambling thoughts yet again. "Alright, everyone have a seat, but don't touch the knob, keep the tension where it is," he called out in his clear, deep voice. "We have a seated climb for the next two minutes, followed by a three minute standing climb. Your legs will feel like jell-o, and that's exactly why you're here, guys. So, stay with me and push-push-push-push-push..."

_I will push-push-push for as long as you want me to….jell-o legs, huh? I'm quite sure you could turn my whole body to jell-o, magic man. _

In some of my favorite fantasies I had been locked between those glorious appendages. Just imagining being buried beneath Edward in all his glory had made my moments of self-loving so much better than it had ever been before.

_Wait - self-love?_ _Really Bella? I take pathetic back. Seriously, you are downright pitiable. I know it's psychologically sound to love yourself, but you give a whole new meaning to the term there lately, B._

It was all I could do to keep from bolting to the locker room to change my panties when his voice began to get husky over the headset.

"You should be getting breathless about now…"

_Breathless, we surpassed breathless a long time ago, dude. We are now full-on fucking hyperventilating, my dear sweet spin god. _

It was only then that I realized that Edward had hopped down off his bike and was checking on some of the participants during the mid-class recovery. Clearly I had been so lost in my Edward Happy Place that it had escaped me that it was half over. "Go ahead and take a minute to towel off a bit, and please make sure to drink some water. At this point your heart rate should come down slightly," he said, continuing to make his way around the room.

He chose that moment to walk towards my tucked-away corner of the room, briefly pausing in front of others asking them how they were doing. Suddenly, he stood before me, touching my handlebars, his hand just a few inches from mine.

"How about you? Are you doing alright? Heart rate beginning to come down a bit?" he asked me.

_Shit! I think my heart has just fucking stopped altogether._

All I could do was dumbly nod my head in response. I was quite sure that the expression on my face was equal parts shocked and awed. Edward cocked his head to the side, shot me the cutest little lop-sided grin, and patted my handlebars. He then turned on his heels and walked back up to the front of the room to move on to the next set of drills.

Now, to the casual observer, I was sure that I looked like I was in full participation for the remainder of the class. My body continued to move and I was successful in keeping my legs peddling in succession to the music. In reality, I was on autopilot, because my brain had definitely checked the hell out on me. Yep, Bella went bye-bye. I was in a complete and utter fog at having been in such close proximity to the star of all my naughty daydreams.

And who knew that apparently having one's brain stunned caused a complete lapse in time, because the next thing I knew, class was nearly over and we were well into cool-down. Getting off the bike, I stretched my quads, hamstrings and calves just like Edward always demonstrated in front of the class. I concentrated on breathing deeply and enjoying stretching my muscles out. I could tell that I had been much tenser than I had originally thought.

"Good job everyone! I hope to see you all next Wednesday night," the delectable hunk of man meat at the front of the class said. "If anyone has any questions regarding any of the drills, please feel free to ask me. Also, please make sure that you continue to drink plenty of water. Dehydration can cause some pretty nasty muscle cramps," he explained. "Thanks again for coming. I hope all of you have a great week."

I grabbed my gym bag and water bottle. Looking around, I noticed that I was the last person left in the room. It would be a snafu of cataclysmic proportions if Edward were talk to me again, as I was sure that I would be unable to utter an intelligible word. Thankfully, he was crouched in front of the sound system putting his music away. I was fairly certain that I could just sneak out without him taking notice.

My eyes trained on the door in front of me, I walked with focus as though reaching the other side of that door held the key to my very salvation. But I was a weak-ass bitch who couldn't help but sneak one last glimpse of Edward to last me for the rest of the week.

This is where I fucked up, because I turned my head slightly in his direction at the very same moment that he lifted up his head. And he looked right at me. And then he smiled.

"Hey, thanks again for coming tonight. Did you get a good workout?" he politely asked.

"Um, yeah, I did thanks. It's a great class," I forced out of my mouth. Willing my feet to move, I left the room without a backwards glance as I heard him tell me to have a good night. It was moments like this where I truly wondered if I were born without a semblance of a spine whatsoever. Why couldn't I even engage in something so simple as small talk?

There was obviously a malfunction in my brain that rendered me incapable of forming coherent sentences in his presence. I was fully aware that most of the women that took Edward's class went out of their way to chat with him. Hell, some of them were absolutely shameless; they took every opportunity possible to put their sweaty mitts all over him. While I had no desire to be so unabashed, I did wish deep down that I could be a little bit braver where Edward was concerned. At the very least, I wanted to not lose my shit when he decided to acknowledge my existence.

I was still a little wound up from my face time with Edward, so I went to the sauna to try and relax a bit. There were very few people left at the gym due to the late hour, and I decided that some quiet "me time" was certainly warranted. I needed to settle down and hopefully get my nerves to untangle from the jumbled mess that they were currently in.

I was really happy to see that I was the only soul in the sauna. I figured that my sports bra was pretty much the same as being in a bikini top, so I didn't feel self conscious when I took off my sweat-soaked shirt. Even though the sauna was co-ed, I didn't want to have to worry about someone strolling in with me wearing nothing but a smile.

As long as I was getting comfortable, I figured that I would take off my shoes and socks, which felt really good. After getting myself semi-stripped down, I grabbed a towel out of my gym bag and plunked my sore gluteus-maximus down on the bench. I drew my knees up to my chest and draped the towel over my head. I allowed the warmth to envelop me as I did my best to empty my mind. I relished the peacefulness and concentrated on my steady breathing, the only sound filling the room. I decided that I needed to take advantage of the sauna more often.

_Ahh, this is greatness_.

My thoughts began to wander when all of the sudden the image of one of my patients, Seth Clearwater, popped into my head. I couldn't help but worry about the little guy. I knew we weren't supposed to have favorites, but Seth was my boy through and through. I loved that kid. I thought of calling the hospital just to check and see how he was doing: how his x-rays were, how frequently he was getting breathing treatments, what sort of meds Dr. Cullen put him on. I thought about trying to pick up an extra shift or two over the weekend so I could keep a better eye on him.

And that, ladies and gents, was the reason Bella Swan had no life. I was just too close to my patients. I adored Seth and his family with all of my heart. He had cerebral palsy and suffered recurring bouts of aspiration pneumonia, and because he was wheelchair bound, the immobility caused all sorts of junk to just settle in his lungs. Seth was known as a "frequent flyer" at Children's because he had a tendency to be in and out a lot, especially in the winter months. I always promised his parents that I would watch him like a hawk when I was working.

Seth was such a cool kid too. He didn't let his situation get the best of him. He always had the biggest smile for me no matter how sick he was. He really was an inspiration. Whenever I started the whole "woe is me" song and dance, I thought of Seth and how brave and strong he was. His big puppy-dog eyes would light up when I called him "my little trooper".

"I believe I was clear on the importance of hydration at the end of class," a plush-cushy voice suddenly spoke, bringing me quickly out of my musings.

Ripping the towel from my head, I blurted, "Christ almighty! I thought I was the only…." I stopped shortly as my brain and eyes synced up.

None other than Edward was sitting against the corner merely a few feet from me. And shirtless. And sweaty. _Well fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck!_

"I'm sorry, wh-what?' I stammered.

"You know, water, make sure you keep drinking it? Good thing I decided to come in here," he continued. "Someone needs to make sure you don't pass out from heat exhaustion. Normally, you always bolt right after class, but I know you heard me this time, seeing as how you were the last one to leave the room. Can I ask your name so I make certain to single you out next week to make sure you listen to my instructions?" he reprimanded me teasingly.

"Um, Bella, Bella Swan. And you're Edward the spin teacher." _Wow, you're quick there, B. Way to dazzle him with your intellect._ I picked up my water bottle and took a big swig. "There, happy now?" I attempted as non-nervous a smile as I could conjure up, feeling quite certain that I had failed miserably.

"Very. And for the record, the surname is Cullen, not 'the spin teacher'. It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella." Edward leaned closer to me offering me his hand.

I extended my own hand out to him, all too aware that I was about to have actual physical contact, praying to whatever deity was on-call that I didn't piss myself. Or faint. Or drool. Or all three at the same time. When our hands met, I felt a slight jolt of energy or something that seemed to reverberate through my body, causing my heart to palpitate wildly. _Maybe Garret was on to something about that whole electrical touch thing…_

Suddenly, I realized the possible signifigance of his last name. "Wait, your last name is Cullen? Are you related to Dr. Carlisle Cullen by any chance?" Surely the world was not this freaking small. What were the odds?

Edward let go of my hand and scooted back to his position against the corner wall. "Indeed I am. He's my dad. Why? Do you know Carlisle?"

"Yes I do, he's my boss. I've been working with him for the last three months or so." Although my voice seemed calm, I was an internal mess - completely astounded that the very person I wished to do naughty, naughty things to was none other than my boss' son. Seriously, you couldn't write shit like this.

A look of understanding appearing on his face, he said, "Bella, short for Isabella, yeah?" I nodded. "So, you are the new therapist that my dad finally convinced to transfer to his office?" He looked incredulous as he continued, "To think, you have been right under my nose this whole time. Turns out I didn't need my dad being such a yenta after all," he mused.

"I don't follow. What do you mean, under your nose?" I curiously asked.

"Well, my dad told me a while back that he had persuaded a very sweet, intelligent, and beautiful respiratory therapist to jump ship from the hospital to work for him. I can only assume he was referring to you. Since then, Carlisle has been hounding me on a weekly basis to come up to his office and meet him for lunch so I can meet 'the new girl'. Dad is not one for subtlety I must admit." Edward's face broke out into a lop-sided grin, his explanation leaving me stunned.

"You've had conversations about _me_ with your dad?" I wondered incredulously. "Oh dear God, how embarrassing!"

I was beyond mortified, although I had to admit that the revelation that Carlisle had mentioned me to his gorgeous offspring was making me tingle. "I had no idea that he was … I mean, Dr. Cullen never once mentioned … I mean he's has never said much about his family, really, although I have talked to your mom on the phone a few times. Esme's really sweet. But your dad! Ugh! He's been trying to what, set us up? Ugh, I'm gonna strangle him with his stethoscope when I see him in the morning…..please just kill me now!"

Forcing myself to stop babbling, I grabbed my towel and threw it back over my head. I now totally empathized with the poor schmucks from the Southwest Airlines commercials, just waiting to hear the 'ding' and voiceover of "wanna get away?"

Mirthful laughter suddenly filled the sauna. Edward slid over next to me and pulled the towel from my head. I could not bring myself to look at him, so I just sat there staring at my feet chewing my bottom lip. "I have a feeling far too many people would miss you, Carlisle included. He speaks very highly of you, Bella. While embarrassment isn't necessary, I must say that particular shade of it suits you."

I looked up at him, noticing that he was grinning from ear to ear, obviously enjoying my humiliation. Even though I was desperate to change the subject, I was very interested to learn more about Edward. I decided that I would pull a page from Seth's book and be a "brave little trooper." I was going to have a bona fide, non-panic-ridden, coherent conversation with Edward "the spin teacher and Carlisle's intensely hot son" Cullen.

Seeing as how we were confined in a small, heat-filled room, I took a deep breath of resolve. "So what is it that you do Edward, for gainful employment, besides teaching spin once a week?" I asked him.

"I'm a professor at UW. I teach classes in Kinesiology and Exercise Physiology for Rehabilitation Professionals. I know it's a mouthful, right?" Calling attention to his mouth, Edward took a drink of water from his sports bottle. I noticed a dribble sliding down his chin, falling seductively onto his perfect chest. I battled the urge from within to lean over and lick said dribble from said chest. Not an easy feat on my part.

"Totally makes sense, you being a teacher I mean. You have a gift for instruction." I stated. I pondered the dorkiness of my comment for a moment. I quickly added, "You're a really good teacher. I can see why it's your chosen profession."

"Well, Carlisle wanted me to practice medicine like him, but really I'm much more of an academic. I also wanted to have a life outside of work, so teaching just seemed the way to go." Edward grabbed his towel and wiped the beading sweat from his face and chest, thus saving me from the urge to just lick him in general. "So, Bella, what made you leave the hospital to go to work for my dad?"

"To be quite honest, like you, I wanted to have some sort of social life. I was working crazy hours, especially during winter months when the kiddos are the sickest. That time of year the hospital is so overrun and the staff is so slammed, I practically lived there. Coupled with the fact that I have a tendency to be a bit over protective with my patients, I found myself working so much that I didn't have time for anything else." I explained.

"Your decision to change jobs must have made any significant others happy to have you around more, yeah?" He asked in an odd tone casting a sideways glance. _Wait, is he asking if I have a boyfriend? _

"Umm, I'm able to go visit my dad more often now. Charlie is Chief of Police in Forks, a small town about three hours from here. It's easier for me to make weekend visits now that my work schedule is normal. My best friend Angela was pretty excited because we can actually hang out now. As far as any significant others are concerned, well there is no one who falls into that category at present, so…" My voice trailed off.

Leaning over and resting his forearms on his knees, we were now sitting shoulder to shoulder, mere centimeters separating us. Edward then gave me a playful bump and said, "Well, well, well. Isn't that a shame Ms. Swan?"

_Hold the fuck on! Is he flirting with me? There is no way this is happening right now. Shit like this does not happen to _me_, Bella Swan. I am the wallflower in the back, not the vapid, hot-bod-bitch that gets noticed by gods like Edward._

And even though I was staggering in disbelief at my good fortune, I threw caution to the wind, because really, what were the odds that I would EVER have an opportunity like this ever again? Zero times infinity, that's what. With a new 'what have I got to lose' attitude, I just rolled with it. If he was indeed flirting, then I would enjoy the shit out of it and flirt right back.

To my surprise, our continued exchange flowed easily. He inquired about my career choice of respiratory therapy over nursing. That was easily answered: I did boogers, not blood, pure and simple. The rust and salt smell of blood made me retch like mad. He laughed at that, stating that he was unaware that blood actually had a smell at all.

We talked about our families, childhoods, and friends, basically all of the typical getting-to-know-you small talk. It was nice. Really, really nice. Edward was interesting. Edward was intelligent. Edward had a great personality. I was suddenly aware that any attraction I previously had to Edward was a tad more than physical now.

_I liked him. I could like him a lot…_

"Hey, I am about out of water. Want me to refill yours for you too?" He grabbed his water bottle and motioned towards mine.

I handed him my own and thanked him. I couldn't help but marvel at the perfection that was Edward's ass as he walked out of the sauna. I leaned back against the wall and gave myself a mental "atta girl" for finally finding a backbone and just talking to the dude. I wasn't going to worry about whether this little "tête-à-tête" would lead anywhere. I resolved to enjoy the ever-loving shit out of the moment and embrace it.

_Yeah, I could do that._

I lolled my head to the side, trying to work out the stiffness in my neck and shoulders. I must have been carrying a shitload of stress up there, because they were always tight. There was this one spot, right on my shoulder blade with a knot the size of Rhode Island that always irritated the fuck out of me. I threw my arm over my shoulder, attempting to rub some of the soreness out, which was a bit futile on my part. I could never quite reach it…

"Here you go. The water is nice and cold." Edward paused, looking at me rubbing my shoulder. "Are you hurt?"

"I sort of have a perpetual knot right here that I can't ever get to," I said with a gesture. "It must be the way I sleep, I don't know, but this dammed thing bothers the hell out of me sometimes."

"Would you like me to try and work on it for you? I can be pretty good with my hands, or so I'm told." And then he flashed me the sexiest grin I had ever seen in all my life.

_Edward is offering to put his hands on me? Edward wants to rub me? What are the odds that this gym has a portable O2 tank? I am failing miserably at converting oxygen to carbon dioxide at this juncture._

"Well, are you sure you don't mind? I mean that would be great, thanks," I somehow manage to stammer.

"I offered, didn't I?" he quirked. Resuming his position leaning against the back corner wall, Edward propped one leg on the bench and rested the other leg on the floor. He motioned for me to come and sit in front of him. It did not escape me that although my back would be turned to him, I would be nestled in between the very thighs that I had been fantasizing about not all that long ago.

Ironically, the tension in my body multiplied a hundred-fold as I sat down in front of Edward. My brain kept repeating to my lungs _breathe, Bella, breathe _over and over again. My body gave a slight joltas Edward placed his hands on my shoulders, kneading gently and causing my body to rock ever so slightly.

"Wow! You are so tense, Bella. These knots you have in your shoulders are horrible."

Edward increased the pressure of his ministrations, which caused me to lurch forward, tensing up even more.

"Bella, you really need to try to relax if this is going to do you any good," Edward advised. "Here, I want to try something. Do you trust me?" he asked.

"I guess I do, yeah. Why? What did you have in mind?"

Taking his iPod out of his gym bag, he placed one ear bud in my ear, the other in his. Selecting something to listen to, he said, "I just want you to sit back, relax, and listen to the music, okay? Try and focus on letting all of the stress and tension go. Think you can do that for me?"

I nodded, so he gently pulled me back to him. Only this time, my back was resting against his chest, my head against his shoulder. My lower was back positioned flush in between the Promised Land as both my legs rested on the bench, bent at the knees. Edward took my hands in his and gently massaged them. Poe's "Hey Pretty" suddenly filled the ear bud and I did just as Edward asked and listened to the music.

I felt the vibration from Edward's voice as he told me to deeply inhale and exhale, encouraging me to synchronize my breathing with his own. My body slowly began to relax with each squeeze, Edward having gradually moved from my hands to my forearms.

His hands felt so divine against my skin, it didn't even matter that we were both covered in sweat. I could have been grossed out, but honestly, it just made it seem more sensual, at least to me anyway. With closed eyes, I was completely enveloped in heat and sweat and Edward, and relishing how his hands and fingers were now working my shoulders. I was so totally lost in sensation that my body didn't even register the discomfort anymore.

Edward shifted ever so slightly behind me, bringing his lips within mere millimeters of my ear. I could feel his breath against my skin and if it weren't for the room being 140 degrees, I would have fucking shivered. I felt my own breathing quicken ever so slightly.

_Hands down (pun fucking intended,) this is the single-most erotic moment of my life. I am absolutely certain that my undies are drenched with more than just sweat right about now._

Simultaneously, Edward's chest vibrated against my back, his voice tickling my ear with sounds, as he softly started to sing:

"_Hey Pretty_

_Don't you want to take a ride with me?_

_Through my world_

_Hey Pretty_

_Don't you wanna kick and slide?_

_Through my world"_

And then I fucking did it. I _moaned. _

I immediately tensed; embarrassed by the noise that had just left my lips. Praying that Edward didn't think I was some sort of perv, I moved to sit up and apologize. Keeping me pinned against him tightly, Edward whispered, "Relax Bella. I _want _to make you feel good. Mmmm … that moan was _incredibly_ hot by the way. Maybe I can elicit another one?"

_Um, yes, please and thank you?_

Edward moved his lips from my ear to the skin on my neck just below the lobe. He placed a gentle kiss before slightly parting his lips, the tip of his tongue making small circles beneath my ear. His hands never ceased rubbing, except he had moved them from my shoulders to the skin just above my breasts, below my collarbones.

I sucked in a sharp breath and arched my back. And Edward got his wish.

My body had never reacted this way to mere massage. And sure, that sweet spot on my neck was one of the all-time favorite places that I loved to be kissed, but this was different. I felt energy coursing through me, an endorphin rush like no other I had felt before.

I really wasn't sure how I should proceed. There were so many firsts happening to me. I had never allowed someone I barely knew to touch me in such an intimate way. I had been to a spa before for a professional massage, but what they had done to me wasn't remotely close to what I was experiencing here in the sauna with Edward. I knew we were behind closed doors, but someone could walk into the sauna at any moment. The realization that we were in a semi-public place both excited the hell out of me and scared me all at the same time.

I decided to go with another first for me. I wasn't going to over think and overanalyze. I was going to make a move. I figured that Edward's action deserved a reaction.

I moved my arm around Edward's neck, the bill of his backwards ball cap blocking what my hands were searching for. As I turned my face towards his, I removed my obstacle, tangling my fingers in his hair. Pausing for a nanosecond, my eyes searched his for one single reason why I shouldn't. And I couldn't find one. So I did.

I pulled his face to mine, our mouths melding together. We didn't even bother with a chaste-closed-lip-lock-first- kiss. Our tongues danced fluidly, as if we had done this a thousand times before. No awkwardness, no hesitation. It was passionate, it was intense, and it made me never want to stop.

Edward's hands slowly migrated to my sides. I sensed his hesitancy of what to do with them as he traced circular patterns on my ribs, his fingertips moving closer and closer to my breasts. As our kisses grew in intensity, I took his hands in my own and placed them right on my tits because that's exactly where I wanted them. My boldness obviously startled Edward because he broke our kiss and sucked in a sharp breath.

"Bella, are you sure you're okay with this?" He questioned.

"Would I have put your hands on my tits if I didn't want them there, Edward?" I smiled.

My rhetorical question gave him all of the answer he needed as he began kissing me into oblivion and went back to kneading and squeezing my breasts. My nipples puckered under his touch as I took his thumb and forefinger into my own so he could roll and pinch them. I arched my chest even further into his touch as the pinching and rolling grew harder and more intense, sending shockwaves through my body.

And then I felt _it_. I felt the swelling of Edward's dick against my lower back and rejoiced that I was turning him on too. It was astounding that I could bring forth this sort of reaction from a specimen like him. And because I was two-for-two in the brashness department, I was going for a triple. I maneuvered my arm behind me so I could get a better feel for myself.

.. Even though I couldn't see it and it was covered by his gym shorts, there was no doubt in my mind that Edward was totally packing. Endowed. Blessed. Gifted. Any way you put it, the man was hung. No two ways about it. How fitting that at this very moment Poe was gently singing in our ears "Hey now, can't you feel me longing" in the sultriest of voices.

Taking Poe's words quite literally, I felt his longing, and quite thoroughly if I did say so myself. I stroked him as best as the awkward position would allow, because now that I was touching him, I didn't see how I would be able to stop. And my action caused the _exact_ reaction I was hoping for. "Ung, Bella," he breathed into my open mouth and bucked his hips into my hand.

This was a precarious and unfamiliar juncture for me. I had never been so bold in my entire life. I glanced toward the door knowing that someone, anyone could walk into the sauna and see the somewhat compromising position Edward and I were in. Scary as all hell, but erotic and such a fucking turn on. What to do?

As if he could read my mind, Edward very slyly admitted that he had placed a sign outside the door indicating that the sauna was currently not working or some BS when he had gone to refill our waters. "I wanted some privacy with you," he very blatantly divulged.

"Confident much?" I asked, trying to regain control of my breathing.

"Yes, but _this_ wasn't really the objective. I would be happy with _whatever _happened as long as there were no interruptions."

"So you would be totally cool if _this _stopped right now and all we did was talk? _Something_ tells me that isn't what you want…." I whispered as I continued to stroke his rock-hard erection.

"The question is Bella, what do _you _want?"

My mind raced as I pondered his question. I wanted to be brave and daring. I wanted to look back at this very moment and be able to say I fucking did it and had no regrets whatsoever, no matter what came of this little tryst. I was stroking my own personal Power Ball lottery ticket and I was going to lump-sum claim this bitch. Carpe diem and all that jazz. It took me about three heartbeats to launch myself into action.

Never breaking away from his steely gaze, I turned my body to face and straddle him, the ear buds falling from each one of our ears, the iPod falling by the wayside. Squashing every last bit of insecurity threatening to kill my newfound assertion, I pulled the front of my bra down, exposing my very taught and needy breasts. Just as Edward started to grab them with his glorious hands, I decided that I wanted something else touching my tits. Diverting them from the desired target of my chest, I took his hands and placed them on my ass, in effect pulling his upper body closer to mine. Obviously, this was a tad puzzling to Edward so I thought I would make myself clear.

"I want your hands on my ass, Mr. Cullen," I panted. "I want your mouth right _here_."

I instructed him, entangling my hands in his hair and guiding his head towards the breast that was closest to his mouth. And holy hells bells. The feel of his tongue as he sucked and kissed my nipple was like a bolt of lightning to my nervous system. Luckily, I was not scared of lightning. Desperately needing something _more_, I gyrated my hips against his, trying to create some sort of friction that might quell the intense throbbing that was about to kill me. Not wanting my other tit to feel neglected, Edward licked his way across the valley of my chest and took the other nipple between his beautiful lips, all the while kneading my ass, and thus causing my persistent grinding against him to become harder and more forceful.

"Bella," Edward moaned as he pulled his face up to my mine. Breathing raggedly, he placed his lips right up to my ear. "As long as we are being blunt about hand placement, may I tell you where I want my hands?" To be perfectly honest, I didn't care _where _his hands were, as long as they were somewhere on my person. "Please, Edward, tell me where you want your hands," I whispered, excited at the possibility of where else he wanted to touch me.

"I want to feel you right _here_," he murmured, placing his hand over my incredibly achy center. "I have a pretty good idea that you're soaking wet, but I need confirmation. I'm all about fairness, you see. You know exactly what you're doing to me; turnabout is fair play after all."

He looked at me, his green eyes blazing. "I have to ask, though. Have you ever been finger fucked in a sauna before?" The questioning look in his eyes was laced with wicked desire.

_Holymarymotherofgod. _I was only concerned with his hands being _on_ my person, but obviously he wanted them, or _one_ of them anyway, _in_ my person. I wasn't sure if the question was rhetorical, so I shook my head in response. My brain would not allow my mouth to form words at this point. All I could think about was that Edward wanted to finger fuck me. In the sauna. At the gym. Clearly, getting the membership was an Einstein move on my part.

"Well then, Bella, do you _want _me to?"

This was really happening. To me. Right now. So I willed myself to speak. "Oh God, yes Edward," I pleaded.

Keeping one hand cupped firmly on my ass cheek, he ever so gently glided his other hand over my sweat-drenched skin to my inner thigh under my gym shorts. _And thank fuckingfatherchristmas I didn't wear spandex tonight. _His eyes fixed on mine for some sign of uncertainty; I leaned forward, touching my forehead to his and moaned. "I need you to touch me Edward."

_And touch me he did._ The feel of his fingers as he delicately grazed my slit caused my skin to tingle all over. "Bella, you are so fucking wet right now," he choked out. I don't think he fully realized the effect he was having on me until that moment. I didn't answer, because I knew I had a puddle forming in between my thighs.

I gasped as he slid two fingers inside me, where I so desperately wanted them. "God, Bella, you are so wet and warm. Does it feel good to you? Do you like the way my fingers feel inside your pussy?"

He began sliding his fingers in and out, very slowly at first. My breathing picked up as I pushed my hips into his hand. I needed more. I knew it wouldn't take long given that I hadn't had an orgasm that wasn't self induced since…well, I really couldn't remember.

"Shit, aahh, it feels so good." I bent my head down into the crook of his neck, kissing and sucking as my hips began to grind faster against his thrusting hand. "Faster, harder…please….more…"

Sensing I was getting close, Edward found the magic button, rubbing my clit, which was really fucking sensitive because I was literally on the edge. I dug my nails into his shoulders and yelped, "Fuck yes that's it!"

"I want you to cum Bella," he growled. "I want you to cum all over my fingers. Let go, just let it all go."

"Fuck….yes…right there…aaahhhh…I'm cum…AHHH SHIT EDWARD!" I yelled, my chest heaving in labored pants, doing exactly what Edward wanted. I let it all go. All the tension, all the stress, apprehension, and fear drained out of my body along with the beading sweat as I came down from my orgasmic high. I felt weightless and free, like my body had been filled with helium and if it weren't for Edward tethering me to him, I might levitate. So I clung to him as I tried to right my brain, which was currently clouded in fog from one of the most intense climaxes my body had ever experienced. Now what?

While I focused on regulating my breathing, I pondered his comment about turnabout being fair play. I was just as equal opportunity as the next girl. I thought I would inquire as to how he felt about some reciprocation. He had a point; fair was fair. "Edward," I whispered in his ear, "that was….amazing."

"Glad you enjoyed it; I know I did," he chuckled.

"Remember your remark on turnabout being fair play? Well, I think in the spirit of fairness, I owe you."

"Bella, you don't have to, I mean, that's not why I…"

"Shhh," I interrupted, "I'm not the type of girl that likes to be indebted to someone. Besides, it would be terribly rude for me to leave you with such a _huge _problem on your hands. I was brought up better than that."

I smiled seductively at him. "So now, I have to ask you; what are your thoughts on hand jobs in the sauna, Edward? Ever had that done to you before?" I returned my hand to the bulge in his shorts, gently rubbing my hand over his crotch.

"Never," he panted. "That would definitely be a first and erotic as fucking hell, Ms. Swan."

I increased the pressure on his cock just slightly, which caused him to grind his hard-on against my palm.

"Well, then, Mr. Cullen, it's your turn to sit back and relax." I crashed my mouth into his and slid my fingers over his pectorals, over his washboard abdomen and finally beneath the waistband of his gym shorts. As I took his very lengthy and thick member in my hand, I angled my head sideways and plunged my tongue deeper into Edward's mouth. Starting at the tip, I wrapped my hand around his cock and pumped downward toward the base, squeezing just enough that Edward sighed "aahhh….ffuuuuccckkkk" into my mouth.

Up and down, I began stroking, twisting and squeezing his shaft in my hand. Our foreheads touching, I cast my eyes down to see in the flesh what felt so damn good in my grasp. Fuck. It was beautiful. Just like the rest of him, Edward's dick was absolute perfection. And the sight of it in my hand was exactly as Edward had said it would be - erotic as fucking hell.

I paid careful attention to his breathing, noting when it began to speed up. I increased my movements to match, once again keeping in synchronization with him. "Does it feel good Edward? Do you want me to go faster? Tell me what you want." _I would give him anything, as long as it made him scream my name. _

"Faster Bella, please…feels fucking incredible….mmm, yeah just like that….."

"You feel incredible in my hand Edward." I moaned as I moved my lips to his ear. "And I know you would feel fucking indescribable inside of me," I exhaled just barely above a whisper. I wanted to make those fantasies of our entangled bodies come true. Maybe not today, but soon.

"Oh God, Bella. Fuck, that's hot hearing you say that."

'Well, it's true," I purred. "To have your huge cock in my wet and tight pussy….well, that would be beyond words."

"Dammitfuckinghellsonofabitch! I'm….I'm so close….just like that…AAAHHHH BELLA! UGH!"

I quickly grabbed his towel for cover as Mt. St. Edward began to spew all over his chest. He gasped and bucked his hips as I continued to pump him feverishly. I had to marvel at how absolutely beautiful he was, especially while he was having an orgasm. Some men make weird contorted faces and grunt like some wild animal. Not Edward. The exquisiteness of his perfect features became even more so while in the throngs of pleasure.

Both of us gasping for air, we sat staring at each other in somewhat of an awkward silence for a few moments, neither one of us knowing quite what to say in regards to what had just happened between us. I readjusted my sports bra as I tried desperately to decipher what he must be thinking.

There were a thousand different questions running through my haze-filled mind, the most important being, what did this mean? I knew it didn't have to mean a damned thing. The events of this evening could forever be kept a secret with no one, _especially Carlisle,_ ever finding out. We didn't have to tell a soul and Edward could go back to just being the spin teacher I lusted after. Except now I sort of knew him. I had actual events to relive, not just dreams of things I wished would happen. _Yeah right Bella, keep telling yourself that. Just who the hell are you trying to kid anyway? _

"That was just, unbelievably…" Edward began to speak, finally breaking the silence.

"Brazen on my part, I know. I don't want you to think that I'm the type of woman that engages in spontaneous sex acts with random men I'm barely acquainted with, in a semi-public place no less," I rambled wildly, my earlier confidence being shaken by sudden guilt. "Here your dad had you thinking that I am some sweet and innocent lady and I practically assault you the first time I get you in a room alone. I have blown his image of me all to hell." The more I thought about what had just happened, the more mortified I became.

"Bella, please, let me finish." He stopped me and took my face in his hands.

"What I was going to say before you went off was that what just happened was unbelievably _amazing_. What we just shared was unexpected yes, but Jesus, everything about it felt so right. I see the look in your eyes right now; the compunction is etched all over your face. Please don't regret this for one second, because I sure as hell don't. We are on to something here, I can feel it. I don't want us to walk out of here and pretend that it never happened."

"You don't? What does that even mean, Edward?" I questioned.

"It means that I want to see you again, and not just in class. I want to take you out, get to know you, see where this goes." He said gesturing his hand between us. "That is," he added," if you're interested, too."

"Are you kidding me right now? Of course I am! I would love nothing more than to spend more time with you." Someone could have told me that the gym was on fire and it would not have erased the Cheshire-cat grin plastered all over my face. Again I had to remind myself that this was real and happening to me, Bella Swan.

"I'm so happy to hear you say that, because tomorrow I'm paying a visit to my dad's office around lunchtime to meet the 'new girl'. But I want to Carlisle to think he's a genius for the time being, okay?" he asked with an evil glint in his eyes.

"You lost me, Edward."

"What I mean is I want us to act like we're just meeting for the first time. I don't want him to know that you have been taking my class all this while. Let him be impressed with his matchmaking skills. He'll be so proud of himself when he sees how taken I am with you, especially when I take you for lunch instead of him. My dad won't be able to get to the phone fast enough to tell my mom and brag how he's been right all along. Hell, Carlisle will probably want to quit medicine to start his own dating service." Edward laughed as he concocted his ruse.

I laughed, my earlier embarrassment and regret wiped away. "I'm game. You bet I want to get even with Carlisle now that I know he's been trying to set us up all this time. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he finds out the truth - well, maybe not to the full extent - but yes, it will be nice to steal his thunder. So, how long before we come clean?"

"I don't know," Edward shrugged," maybe after our first kid is born?"

_Ohmygodinheaven! He did not just get my hopes up about being his babymamma! _His words had rendered me stunned and speechless. _Dammit, I was doing so well, too…_

"Bella, don't look so shocked. I'm teasing, well not really, but….damn I'm rambling. Look, I want to see where this leads and I am open to all, _and I do mean all_, possibilities where you are concerned. I mean it. So are you in?"

"Yes, Edward, I'm all in."

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I nodded my head. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me softly.

I got dressed and we gathered up our things to leave. Edward, being a complete gentleman, walked me to my car since it was so late in the evening. Once I was safely inside, he kissed me again. He programmed his cell number into my phone insisting that I call him to let him know I had made it home safely.

_How did I get so lucky? _I couldn't predict the future, but something told me that I was in for one hell of a ride.

* * *

**A/N: **I really hope that you enjoyed reading this little ditty. It was a great learning experience and a ton of fun when I wasn't cockblocking and second guessing myself.

Thank you to **jjuliebee **for aggreeing to beta my first foray into writing fic. She is truly a gem.

I would like to give a big ol' squeeze to my soul sista and fellow Texas gal **RoseArcadia **for her honesty and encouragement. I can't thank her enough for being my sounding board.

And finally, I have to raise a shot glass filled with her tequila of choice to **Melissa228**, the brilliant mind behind **Confessions of a Nanny** and creator of DILFward. Mel was the first person EVER to look at this. I cannot tell you how humbled, honored and beyond privileged I feel that she took the time to read this and give me her input. I still have to pinch myself. It's like Michelangelo was offering to give me advice and feedback on my goofy little paint-by-numbers picture. If it weren't for Mel's words of advice and encouragement (and calling me a goober) I don't think I would have been brave enough to nut up and do this. She will always be my Yoda.

And that's all I got. The bag is empty. Focker out.


	2. Chapter 2 The New Girl

**Disclaimer: This is rated M for a reason. If you aren't old enough to vote, you aren't old enough to read this story. I own the same first name, just spelled differently. I don't own the good stuff that's made her famous.**

***takes in a deep breath and cracks knuckles* Alrighty then….here's moving this thing along. I hope you enjoy reading. If my silliness makes you laugh, giggle, snort, chuckle, or a variation of some sort, well then, that makes me all kinds of happy. See you down below!**

**Chapter 2: The New Girl**

**EPOV **

If someone had told me this morning how my day would play out, I would have called them a damn liar. Not that I was complaining in the least. Any problems or misgivings about what happened with Bella would make me a complete and total fucknut. Sure, I've had problems of fucknuttery in the past, but I liked to think my perspective on life and relationships had improved as of late. My interest in nailing anything with a snatch was dwindling and manwhoring was beginning to lose its luster.

This particular Wednesday started off just like any run-of-the-mill hump day. Get up. Get dressed. Go to work. Teach class. Meet with students. Hit the gym. Teach cycle. Go home. Routines worked for me. Familiarity gave me peace. And as much as I valued the comfortable pattern of my life, I knew deep down something was missing. Or someone. I was looking thirty dead in the eye and knew that it was high time I got my shit together. Plus, I was tired as hell of everyone I knew trying to set me up with "someone I just had to meet."

Meeting women wasn't the issue and I was never hard up for a sweet piece of eye candy. But, if all your diet consisted of was sweets, eventually you'd crave substance. Insanely attractive and drop-dead gorgeous were suddenly not the most important attributes to me anymore. I wanted more than a façade. I wanted the whole package.

I had been watching her for the last couple of months. If I were honest with myself, I couldn't say that I remembered with absolute clarity the first time she took my class. But after a month or so, I really wanted to find out who she was, which was no easy task. She always managed to commandeer the bike in the back corner, which made it virtually impossible for me to give her the once over. On more than one occasion I pondered asking, "Do you mind sitting right in front of me so I can get a better look?" Yeah, that would have freaked her the fuck out. Besides, I'd _never _had to work that hard before.

The time had come for me to find a way to talk to her. Find out who she was. Crazy thing was, I had no problem whatsoever engaging other ladies who took my class in conversation. They were usually falling all over themselves to get my attention. "Oh, Edward, please help me set my bike up." "Oh Edward, my glutes are always sooo sore after class. Please show me how to stretch them out again." Subtle as a damn freight train, these women.

But not her. Not once had she ever attempted to speak to me. Not one single time did she try to get my attention. Of course, I didn't think I had gone completely unnoticed by the mystery girl. I had caught her staring at me a few times, which caused her to drop her head and chew on her bottom lip. Such an odd but strangely charming habit, which I found adorable and sexy.

As I drove home from the gym, I was inundated with thoughts of her ethereal beauty. Her allure seemed to magnify and augment the more I saw her. She was the very antithesis to an "ooh-nah" or a Monet (yeah, I've seen "Clueless", so what? I have a sister and Alicia Silverstone was smokin' back in the day. Whatthefuckever). You know, when you see someone from a distance and you think, "Ooh, how beautiful". Then, upon closer inspection, the response turns to "nah" because up close things get all messy. Definitely not the case with her at all.

So mid-class, I roamed around during a brief recovery and made my way back to her bike. I swear the look on her face when I spoke to her was fucking priceless. Those doe eyes of hers about quadrupled in size. When class was over, I was surprised to see she was the last one to leave the room. I wasn't about to let her bolt _again_ without another attempt at unraveling her mystery. At least this time I got her to answer my question before she ran off. A little progress, but not enough. I wanted more. _Much, much more…._

Stepping outside the cycle room, I saw her flit across the gym and duck into the sauna. _Well, well, well then_. I decided to make sure that she didn't pass out in there from dehydration. Tonight's class had been a more difficult format, and judging from her sweat-soaked clothes, someone needed to ensure that she replenished herself with fluids. Might as well be her instructor, right?

I tossed all my junk in my gym bag and made my way over to the sauna, preparing myself for round three of 'can-I-get-the-girl-who-sits-in-the-back-of-the-class-to-talk-to-me.' So far, I was ashamed to admit, I sucked balls at this game.

When I opened the sauna room door, I was both surprised and elated that she was all alone. _I am indeed one lucky bastard. I need desperately not to fuck this up and get her name. _I had an objective and I was not about to let her leave without successfully completing 'Mission Getting the Goods on the Mystery Girl.'

Proving myself to be much more stealth than I originally thought, I slipped ever so quietly into the small heat-filled room as not to startle or alarm her. As I nestled myself in the corner, I relished that I was finally able to unabashedly _really _look at her. She had a towel covering her head and her melodic breathing lulled me into sudden fantasies of touching, caressing and worshiping every inch of the beautiful creature who sat before me. Motionless and soundless, I watched her for God only knows how long, before I well, scared the living shit out of her. _Way to go Cullen. Round three is looking peachy-fucking-keen._

But then, clouds parted, the winds shifted and I swear I heard Jeff Buckley because I was smacked over the head with the revelation of all revelations. _This was Isabella Swan. This was "the new girl" that worked for my dad. This was the very woman my matchmaker-wannabe father wanted me to meet. _Up until this moment I wasn't a big believer in fate or kismet or whatever the hell you call it. But you can bet your sweet ass I was converted and saw the light.

Bella, as she had so eloquently introduced herself, was just as shocked, and beautifully blushingly embarrassed might I add, as I was to make the connection we shared. Although my dad had been after me weekly to come to his office for lunch, Bella was completely unaware of his intentions. And this is where the game finally started to come to me.

The conversation between Bella and I flowed with such ease, free from all the awkward tension that seemed to plague all the other "getting to know you" sessions from past encounters. I knew that my dad had really played her up to me. But, I was amazed and ecstatic that he had been right on the fucking money about the lovely Ms. Swan. _Excellent call, Dad._

Bella was everything, and if at all possible, more than Carlisle had built her up to be. I knew how much she valued not just her work, but her patients' well-being. My dad told me how dedicated Bella was to them. She went above and beyond what her job required, working closely with their families to make sure her patients' needs were met.

Bella had a strong sense of family and friendship. "So did you grow up in Forks?" I inquired, wanting to know every detail I could about her.

"No. My mom and dad divorced when I was little," she explained. I lived with my mom in Phoenix until I was seventeen. See, my mom remarried and her new husband was a minor league ball player, so he traveled quite a bit. I knew it made her unhappy to be away from him, so I decided to go live with Charlie."

After listening to stories from her childhood, the way she took care of her mother, I was convinced that underneath the exquisite and dazzling surface beat a heart of pure gold. A heart that I wanted to make mine. _All mine._

And as carried away as I was with Bella's personality, my brain and my stiffening dick could not dismiss that she was wearing next to nothing and covered in sweat, which emanated her very scent and essence. I summoned every ounce of resistance my being could muster as I battled the urge to just fucking take her in my arms and kiss her senseless. Knowing I had to get the horny bastard within under control, I left briefly to refill our waters.

I realized as I walked out of the sauna that someone else could freely walk in, squashing any further strides I could make if we were left alone. Apparently the horny bastard within was also one sneaky son of a bitch because I grabbed the sign that stated the sauna was not in use from the front desk. Not that I had any agenda of where things could lead. I didn't, Scout's Honor. I only wanted to ensure we had some privacy. Beyond that, I truly had no expectations.

From the moment that I returned to the sauna, Lady Luck had decided to be my wingman (or woman as the case may be) because things immediately took a turn in an upward direction. My offer to give Bella a massage was really my piss-poor excuse for getting my hands on her. I had my work cut out for me, given the massive amounts of tension that riddled her body. Music had always helped me, so I conjured up the soothingly dulcet tones of Poe. "Hey Pretty" didn't really do Bella justice, but it was the best I had to work with on such short notice. I was pretty sure the likes of Linkin Park and Disturbed would have had the opposite effect of what I was going for.

Easing her back to lean against me, where she fit fucking perfectly, I massaged and kneaded her arms and shoulders. She felt so damned incredible in my hands; I couldn't help the desire to feel every part of her. I didn't want to leave a single inch of her unfamiliar with my touch.

I don't really know what possessed me to sing to her. Maybe it was the heat and my brain was a bit off kilter, but it just seemed like the thing to do. My lips were right beside her ear and I wanted to subtly make this rub-down about more than relaxation. A bit risky on my part I knew, especially since we had just met.

_And_ _motherfucking score. _Bella let out the sexiest, most beautiful moan my ears had ever heard. I was sure that her moans (yes, I said moans, because there will be more of them, _many more of them_) could either be the death of me or the key to my salvation. I hoped for the latter.

The physical chain of events that took place next completely astounded me, mostly because Bella had been the one to set them off. The look of wanton hunger tempered with just a hint of reluctance almost brought me to my knees. I willed her with a look of my own to "just please have your way with me so I don't come off as a perverted asshole." I didn't want anything to happen that she wasn't completely on board with.

Apparently, the gods of ESP were "Team Edward" because Bella took about .006 of a second before lighting the fucking fire. As if the kissing and hand roaming weren't enough to completely level me, her straddling me and shoving my face in her perfect breasts sent me into the stratosphere. Did I mention her tits were perfection? Well, it's the gospel. Not only were her breasts tailor-fucking-made for my hands, but it was as if my mouth was molded for them. Bella-flavored-puckered-nipples were quickly becoming my favorite delicacy. I made the mental note to ask her thoughts on motor-boating at a later time, because I planned on burying myself in those babies every damn chance I got.

When Bella started to writhe against my hardest of hard-ons, I knew that we both needed a release, and fast. I was all too aware that anyone could totally dismiss the sign outside the door and walk in on the soft-core porn we were co-starring in. And yeah, the horny bastard within wanted concrete confirmation of the tide pools in Bella's panties. She had already felt my state of affairs, so it just made good sense that I got to do the same.

I asked Bella her thoughts on being finger fucked in the sauna. The increasing silence and sexual tension rivaled the rising temperature. Again, I asked permission, because it was her choice. Horny Bastard with a hint of gentleman, that's me. Forget deer in the headlights, Bambi was in front of a damn Peterbilt.

Despite her silence, her eyes gave everything away as her internal debate permeated her expression. She finally breathed the four words that sent shockwaves through my system. "Oh God, yes Edward." And although I had heard these exact words uttered countless times before, they had never held such a sultry and passionate yearning.

It took every ounce of restraint I had to not proceed with the force of a battering ram. I was that turned on and eager to just _feel_. But this wasn't about me. This moment was about her pleasure; she deserved gentle tenderness. Delicately, I slid my fingers into her, causing a serrated intake of breath from the both of us.

Her eyes fluttered closed and her jaw slackened as I began to slowly move my fingers in and out of her.

To say that the inside of Bella's soaked and toasty pussy was the most stellar place my fingers had ever been was the understatement of the fucking millennium. I wanted to hibernate in her wondrous cavern for the rest of my natural born life. It was paradise pure and simple. My dick actually twitched with jealousy at my fingers' good fortune. _Don't worry big guy. You'll be visiting Paradise soon enough…_

I had to know if she was getting as much from this as I was. Her breathing accelerated and I very nearly thought I would blow my own load right then when she panted, "faster, harder…please…more." Bella began to grind harder and faster against my hand, which I met with every intense thrust, pumping my fingers at a furious pace. I could see she teetered on the precipice; I wanted nothing more than to see her give in and fall apart. Finding her clit with my thumb, I rubbed her swollen cluster of nerves. I told her to let it all go and come all over my fingers.

And that is exactly what she did.I have watched many a woman's "o" face in my day. Many of them beautiful, some of them downright scary. But I can confidently and unequivocally say that never had I witnessed such a spectacle of magnificent majesty in my life. Watching her come undone at my hands (or fingers as it were) made my heart almost explode. I decided right then and there that I would make it my life's ambition to bring Bella to orgasm as often as possible.

But, I also knew that my heart was not the only thing about to explode. If I didn't unleash the fury in about 2.5 seconds I was going to lose my ever-loving mind. As I pondered the politest way to excuse myself to the men's locker room, Bella brought up my earlier comment on turnabout being fair play. The moment the words "hand job" fell from her gorgeous lips, I about lost my shit. I tried to tell her she didn't have to. I gave her pleasure because I wanted to, not because I wanted the same in return.

But here I was in this small heat-filled room, sweat pouring from my skin in droves, with the most dazzling woman I had ever met straddling me, asking if I wanted her to jack me off. _Are you kidding me right now? _I would have to be the dumbest mother fucker in the expanse of the Milky Way Galaxy to turn down her offer, and seeing as how I had a PhD and was employed by an institution of higher learning, I most decidedly was not.

"Well, then, Mr. Cullen, it's your turn to sit back and relax." The onslaught of searing kisses was only a precursor to the scorching sensation of Bella's hand around my cock. My body was riddled with such an intense electric energy; I pondered for a moment if this is what it felt like to be struck by lightening. And when she told me how good I felt in her hand, and how being inside of her would be indescribable, _Christalmighty, _I could hear the rolling thunder in her words.

Images of Bella bare and lying beneath me, our bodies moving in synchronization flooded my brain. Hearing her scream my name over and over as I pounded into her, thrust after relentless thrust, until we were both drained and had nothing left. I felt my stomach clench and coil, and I knew I was so close because I was barely holding on to my racing breath.

God only knows what expletives spewed from my mouth as my monster spewed all over my chest and Bella grabbed my towel to cover the eruption. I sure as hell didn't want to explain to the maintenance guys how my jizz ended up on the coals. That would be one unfuckingcomfortable conversation to endure.

I was still panting wildly, completely sated by the best fucking hand job in the history of manual dexterity, when I noticed the sorrowful expression marring Bella's angelic face. She was worried about what I thought of her, given that she had just had intimate relations of the digital variety with someone she barely knew. Whatever preconceived notions I had about Bella before were only solidified and more perfect now that I actually knew her. The fact that we had insane sexual chemistry and could most likely make the other cum six ways from Sunday, a theory I planned to test as soon as fucking possible, was icing on the cake.

So I was as honest and forthcoming with Bella as I knew how to be. I told her I wanted to see her again, take her out and get to know her. I told her that I was open to all possibilities where she was concerned. I knew I'd used these very words, or some variation of them, to women before Bella. It struck me that this time, I actually _meant_ them. I said it because it was true, not because I thought it's what she wanted to hear.

I arrived at my condo and as I was sitting in my car, I realized that Bella hadn't called yet to tell me she was home. Surely she'd had time to make it to her apartment. Bella said she was going straight home. She should have most definitely made it to her apartment by now. Something had to be wrong. What if she was in an accident? What if she was hurt? What if she….

_Bzzzzz. Bzzzz. __**1 text message received.**_

_Well speak of the angel. _I opened my phone up, a little perturbed because I actually wanted to hear Bella's voice before I went to sleep. When I realized the message was not from Bella, but from _her_, I was outright pissed. _What the fuck does _she _want? Why the fuck is _she_ texting me after months of silence? _

**Hey stranger. Haven't heard from you in awhile. Why don't you come over? We'll catch up. ;)**

_Well, I sure as shit am not dealing with this right now_. I was about to call Seattle's finest to organize a search party for the potential mother of my future children when my phone finally rang. I answered immediately.

"Hello?" I answered anxiously.

"Hey Edward, its Bella."

"Oh, thank God. Are you finally home?" I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"Yeah, I just walked in the door. What's wrong? Why do you sound so flustered?"

"It just seemed like it took you a long time to get home, that's all. I was worried something happened."

"Well, I'm fine, so there's no need get all worked up." She chuckled, obviously amused at my unnecessary concern.

"Oh, I think getting all worked up, especially if you're the cause, is entirely appropriate, Ms. Swan." I switched on my "smooth motherfucker voice" for that one, I'll admit.

_Aaannnnddd cue crickets chirping. _Did the call drop? What the hell?

"Bella, are you still there? Did I lose you?"

"No, I mean yes, I mean no, you didn't lose me, and yes I'm still here." _Rattled are we?_

"Hmm, guess I'm not the only person who's flustered, am I?" I smirked at her rambling because I could just picture her face having turned about forty shades of red.

"Yeah, well, you don't play fair with that '_come_ hither' tone in your voice," she mused.

_She did not just say come. Shit! Yes she did. She's good._

"I'm still sitting in my car, you know. Give me your address, and I'll be "coming hither" in the next ten minutes." _She thinks I'm kidding. I would break every moving violation known to man to see her right now._

"Somehow, I think that would be counterproductive to what we have planned for tomorrow, Edward."

I hated to admit she had a point. It was going to be difficult enough pretending she was a complete stranger as it was.

"I know, I know. You're right. How am I ever going to keep from mauling you in front of my dad? I'm not sure I have that type of willpower."

"I guess you'll just have to find the will to keep your hands to yourself, at least until we hit the elevator," she teased unmercifully. _Definitely going to be the death of me, this one._

"How about we just hang out in the elevator then? I must admit I'm a big fan of being in small confined places with you." Grabbing all of my stuff, I got out of my car and headed towards my building. We continued talking, teasing each other back and forth, each taunt and barb laced with sexual innuendo. Not only did she excite me physically, she was intellectually stimulating as well. Honestly, I don't know which turned me on more; her mind, body, or soul.

After discussing in detail exactly how we were going to handle Carlisle, we decided where we would have lunch. Bella was concerned the scrubs she wore to work would limit our choices. I told her she could make a burlap sack look stellar and not to worry. I knew a really nice place not too far from my dad's office.

I told her I would call Carlisle first thing in the morning to get the ball rolling on "Operation Punk the Matchmaker." If we could pull this off, it was going to be some of the funniest shit ever. My dad really wasn't one to toot his own horn. But on the rare occasion when he felt he wasn't getting the accolades he deserved, he would go on the biggest fishing expeditions to draw them out.

We told each other good night and pleasant dreams. I knew mine would be as long as she was in them. The only thing better than her in my dreams would be her in my bed, dreaming beside me. I planned on upgrading this situation quick, fast and in a hurry.

After a nice relaxing shower, I crawled into bed, grinning like a lovesick fool. I had only been away from Bella for a short while, but I was already counting the hours until noon when I would see her again.

Normally, such intense feelings surfacing so quickly would give me a damn panic attack. In fact, the very opposite was true. A steady calm washed over me as I drifted off in slumber, Bella's siren call beckoning me home.

* * *

I grunted in protest as my alarm clock's persistent (and annoying as hell) BEEP BEEP BEEP yanked me from one of the most restful nights of sleep I'd ever had. I rolled over, hitting the snooze button so I could enjoy another ten minutes of resting my eyes. Drifting in and out of semi-consciousness, I ran down the mental checklist of a typical Thursday.

And then my brain finally clued in that today was no ordinary Thursday. _Bella. Lunch. My dad's office. _My heart thundered in my chest as I remembered today was the day I took my dad up on his lunch invite. Today I would finally meet "the new girl," at least as far as Carlisle was concerned. I couldn't wait to see that "told-ya-so" look on his face as he introduced me to Bella. _Oh, what a tangled web we weave…._

It was only 6:00 AM, but I was pretty sure my dad was up. I knew he went to the hospital first thing to do rounds, and then headed into his office afterwards. Stumbling to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee - praise God for automatic timers - I grabbed the phone to call dad and set the wheels in motion.

"Good morning Edward. How are you honey?"

My mom always sounded so pleasant and chipper in the mornings. Too bad I didn't inherit the sunshine morning gene from her. Alice had the market cornered on that one.

"Hey Mom, I'm pretty good. Just having a cup of go-juice, trying to get myself moving. How about you?"

"Oh, I can't complain. Same stuff, different day. You know how it goes. So why the early morning phone call? Is something wrong?" My mom was so observant. I never called this early, so naturally her curiosity was piqued. _Okay, play it cool Cullen. If you sound funny, it's going to give something away. She'll suspect something's up and tip dad off. Can't have that._

"I was just wondering if dad is still around. I wanted to ask him if he was free for lunch today, that's all." I tried to be oh-so-nonchalant as possible in my reply.

"Finally going to give in and meet Isabella are you? Your dad has been going on about this since she started working for him in January. Sweet girl has no idea her boss is playing Chuck Woolery. If you ask me, I think that…"

"Mom, who is Chuck Woolery? You know what; I probably don't want to know. Can you just get dad for me?" My mom would keep me on the phone for half the day if I'd let her. I loved my mother to death, but jeez the woman could talk. And talk. And talk.

"Alright, alright keep your shirt on. CARLISLE! PICK UP THE PHONE! EDWARD WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!" _Think you could cover the phone before breaking the sound barrier mom? I'm pretty sure my eardrum is bleeding now. _"And for your information dear, Chuck Woolery used to host a game show called 'The Dating Game.'"

I heard my dad pick up the phone as my mother very pointedly told me to be sure and call her later so we could catch up. I wasn't born yesterday. She wanted details. She wouldn't be able wait until my dad got home. In fact, I was pretty sure if I didn't call her by say around 1:30 PM, she would definitely be calling me.

"Hey son, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" Apparently I wasn't fooling my dad either.

"Um, well I wanted to see if you were free for lunch today. I thought I would meet you at your office and we could go grab some grub. Sound good?" I swear to all that is holy I heard the man grin and his eyes light up through the damn phone. _Cue peacock feathers in 5, 4, 3, 2…._

"Of course I'm free for lunch Edward. That sounds great. I hate to sound presumptuous, but did you finally decide to listen to dear old dad and come meet Isabella? I just have this feeling about her, and I can't quite put my finger on it, but she's such a special girl and I know once you meet her..."

"Look, don't start booking reception halls just yet, okay Dad?" _We'll save that for next month. _"Let's just see how it goes, alright?" Although Bella and I both knew exactly how this scene was going to play out because we had discussed it at length last night. "But just promise me you won't do anything embarrassing, okay? Just introduce us. Think you can handle that?"

"Sure son, nothing embarrassing. Don't worry. But what if you decide you're interested? What if you..."

"Look dad, if she's cute, I'll get her number when we get back from lunch. I'm a big boy." Little did he know, I already had those digits committed to memory.

I told Carlisle I would be at his office at noon. After I hung up with my dad, I sent Bella a text telling her that all systems were go and I would see her later. _A little more than five hours to go before I saw her again_. I suppose it should have jarred me a little that I was so eager to be with her again. That was a new one on me. Whatever this change in me was, I liked it, and I knew that Bella was the catalyst.

* * *

_Finally. Just fucking finally already. _I pulled up to Carlisle's office building just before noon, the anticipation and excitement that blazed through my system about to cause cardiac arrhythmia. It seemed as though nothing I had done to ease the anxiousness had helped at all. _Since when have I ever been this keyed up over a woman?_

I went to the gym earlier, ran 10K on the treadmill, then hit the free weights. Usually, a grinding workout would relax me, clear my head. However, for the first time in memory, physical exertion had completely failed me. So I went back home to clean up.

My next plan of attack was to 'clear the decks' so to speak. I mean, it would be embarrassing as fucking hell to have my dad make the formal introduction with me at full mast. Besides, I had the perfect images running on repeat in my brain from last night in the sauna. Could there be any better spank-worthy material? I thought not.

While taking care of business helped on some level, it was still hard to contain the enthusiasm and jitters that had me so wound up. As I rode the elevator to my dad's office, I took calming breaths to get myself in the right frame of mind. I needed to be cool and collected. I needed to get my head in the game if this was going to work. I prayed that Bella would be able to get through this without blowing our cover.

I strolled into the office and up to the glass, which was closed shut. Sliding it open, I about gave sweet old Ms. Cope a heart attack. She had been my dad's office manager for as long as I could remember and was one of the kindest people I'd ever known. But, beneath that unassuming pseudo-grandmother look she threw down lurked what I would consider to be the original cougar. Somehow, she always managed to work in, "Oh Edward, if only I were twenty years younger, you would be in so much _trouble._"

"Edward Anthony Cullen! You know better than to sneak up on me like that!" She playfully scolded me as she stood from her chair and swatted my arm. "You haven't been up here to visit in ages. What brings you by? Get over here and give me some sugar!"

Ms. Cope reached over, grabbing my face between her hands. For a split second, I thought she was going to plant one right on my mouth, but thankfully she kissed my cheek instead. "Oh, I just came by to take the old man out for lunch." After she released my face from her grip, I gingerly brought her hand to my lips so I could give her a gentlemanly kiss. "Besides, it's been far too long since I've seen you." _No harm in making an old lady's day, right?_

"Flattery will get you everywhere honey. Come on back. I think your dad is in his office." She giggled like she was twelve.

Ms. Cope met me on the other side of the door that led to the back part of the office. I looked around for Bella, but didn't see her. I waved over to Charlotte, my dad's nurse, and told her hello. Ms. Cope promptly linked her arm in mine as we strolled in the direction of Carlisle's office. "You know," she whispered as we walked, "you get more handsome every time I see you, Edward."

"Well thank you sweetheart, and dare I say you get more stunning," I playfully flirted.

We stood in the doorway of my dad's office, where he wrapping up a phone call. He motioned for me to come inside. Unlinking my arm from Ms. Cope's, I started to go over to my dad's desk when I felt a swat on my ass. I turned immediately, to see Ms. Cope flashing me a mischievous grin.

"Good thing I'm not twenty years younger Edward," she teased, "otherwise you'd really be in for it." I stifled a laugh as Ms. Cope turned on her heel and went back to the front. I went and sat down in the chair in front of my dad's desk as he hung up the phone.

"Well, right on time Edward." My dad said as he ever so smugly looked at his watch. "Having a good day so far, son?"

Really, I was surprised he was taking the time with pleasantries. Judging from the smile on his face, it would not have shocked me in the least if he would have yelled "BELLA! GET IN HERE!" as soon as I walked in the door. The fact that he was somewhat trying to control his enthusiasm was impressive.

"No complaints here. So far so good I suppose," I casually replied.

"Well, it's about to get an upgrade to fantastic. Just wait here while I go see where Bella is."

"Yes, please. Let's get this show on the road so we can go eat. I'm starving."

Before he could get out of his chair, his eyes fixated on something behind me, and then lit up like a damn Christmas tree. It was at that very moment that I heard the voice of the person I had been waiting to see all day fill the room. I turned around in my chair, and saw Bella walk into the office. And how she managed to look sexy in Sponge Bob scrubs astonished me, because quite frankly, that damned sponge was creepy as hell. Her nose was buried in someone's chart and she was so preoccupied, she didn't even see me sitting there. I fought to keep my composure so that my expression didn't match my dad's.

"Dr. Cullen, here is Tyler Crowley's treatment sheet, and the script for the inhaler. They both need your signature. Did you say you wanted to see him again in six months?" She finally looked up at my dad, and then abruptly glanced at me. "Oh Dr. Cullen, I am so sorry I just barged in here. I didn't realize you had someone in your office." I noticed the most miniscule of smiles play at her lips.

"Nonsense, Bella, there's no need to apologize. I'd like you to meet my youngest son, Edward."

I stood up and took her extended hand in mine. I'll be damned if I didn't get that tingly feeling again when I touched her. Her very quick and incredibly subtle intake of breath told me that she felt it too. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Isabella. Although, I feel like I already know you so well, given that my father speaks of you quite often." _That and the fact that I had my hands all over you less than twenty-four hours ago... _

"Please, call me Bella, and whatever your dad has told you, it's probably not true." She laughed nervously.

"Well that's a shame. Dad here says that you've pretty much become his right hand around this place. He needs someone to keep him in line. Sounds like you're doing a stellar job of that." I smiled at her. "I know he can be a real hard ass. He's not an easy person to please sometimes, trust me."

Bella withdrew her hand from mine. In my periphery, I could see Carlisle's smirk widen as the fact that our handshake might have lasted a little longer than politeness allowed was not lost on him. "He runs a tight ship, that's true, but it's been a pleasure working for him. I couldn't ask for a better boss." She handed the pieces of paper to my dad that he needed to sign, and then nodded to my dad, "Don't I have an evaluation coming up or something?"

"Yes you do, and I am well aware I'm going to have to ante up to keep you from going back to work at the hospital. There is no doubt in my mind that your old supervisor is making plans to woo you back over there somehow." He smiled as he handed her back the papers.

"That's some very useful information I may have to use to my advantage, doc," she teased. "Anyway, I better take these to the front desk so they can set up Tyler's next appointment. Edward, it was very nice to meet you. Hopefully you'll be stopping by to visit your dad with more frequency." She smiled and made her way to the door.

"I definitely plan on it, and the pleasure was all mine, I assure you." I called out to her as she walked out of the office. I turned to my father, who was so obviously eating this up and said, "What can I say? You were right and I should have got my sorry ass up here sooner."

"Why my genius is so often called into question is beyond me. I really don't want to say I told you so, but…"

"Then don't. Egregious gloating doesn't become you." I chuckled, cutting him off.

We stood up getting ready to leave when Bella poked her head through the door. _And here it comes_.

"Is it alright if I head to lunch now Dr. Cullen? All the charts have been pulled for your afternoon appointments and all of the rooms are ready," she politely asked. Glancing in my direction she added, "It looks like you two are on your way out as well."

Before my dad could answer, I looked at him and said, "Hey dad, do you um, mind if you & I have lunch another time? Not that you're not a good-looking guy, but I was thinking I might improve the scenery if Bella would be willing to change her lunch plans and join me instead." I turned toward her, flashing a grin and added, "That is if you're interested Bella."

"Um, I really don't know what to say, I wouldn't want to intrude and…" she stammered, her cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink.

My dad quickly interjected, "Bella, Bella…please, I insist! You wouldn't be intruding in the slightest. You two go and have a nice lunch. Now that I think about it, I actually do have some paperwork and e-mails I need to catch up on." The smile on his face was so much more than smug at this point. And I knew that approximately thirty-seven seconds after we walked out of the door, he would be on the phone to my mother giving her all the details.

"Well, then yes Edward, I'd like that very much. Did you want us to bring you something back, Dr. Cullen?" she offered.

"No thank you Bella. I'll run downstairs and grab something from the deli." He walked over to us and began shuffling us out of his office. "You kids go on and don't worry about me."

We walked out of the back part of the office, through the waiting room, with my dad behind us every step of the way. I wanted to ask my dad where the fire was, but didn't think I could do so without laughing my ass off. I stole a sideways glance at Bella who looked as if she was about to crack up herself. The need to get us out of his office so he could grab his horn and start tooting was more than he could bear. My dad practically shoved us outside into the hallway, deftly closing the door behind us. I should have been shocked, but truthfully, my dad reacted pretty much the way I thought he would.

Bella put her hand up for a high-five, but that was not at all what I had in mind. I grabbed her hand, pulling her into me and wrapped my other hand behind her waist. Bending down, I whispered in her ear, "I think that went well, don't you?" Before I even gave her a chance to answer, I gently nibbled the spot beneath her ear, which caused Bella to shiver slightly.

"Y-yes...I...d-do. Edward, what if your dad walks out here? He'll know something isn't….."

What happened next actually did shock the hell out of me, but was also one of the funniest fucking things I had ever witnessed my dad do. There was a strange muffled singing coming from behind the closed door. Bella and I both pressed our ears against it so we could try and make out who it was and what song was being butchered.

_Pimp juice - oooooooooh-ooooooooh-hoooooooo  
I think I need to let it loose (might think I need to let it loose)  
Let it loose, let it loooooose  
Only want me for my pimp juice_

"What the fucking hell? Is my dad singing….is that Nelly he's massacring right now?" I whispered, trying desperately not to piss my pants at the new found ghettoness of my father. "Since when did he go gangsta?" I could barely breathe I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud.

Bella was doubled over, her hand covering her mouth, her body shaking as she tried to control her soundless laughter. "I don't know, Edward, he's your dad. I had him pegged as a classical kind of guy. Apparently he's got some sort of street cred," she said, wiping tears from her eyes.

I opened the door slightly, only to find my father doing this weird sort of strut, which made him look like he'd thrown his hip out, as he continued to sing the chorus of 'Pimp Juice' over and over. I seriously considered pulling my phone out to record this shit as future leverage if I ever needed it.

Instead, I cleared my throat. "Ahem, Pimp Daddy C, maybe next time you want to wait until we're on the elevator before you decide to bust a move, or get your swerve on, or whatever the hell it was you were just doing," I teased. "By the way, since when do you listen to Nelly?"

I would have ventured a guess that my father had not been the wearer of a "holy-shit-I'm-busted" look very many times in his life. I would, however, have bet my bank account that this was the most embarrassed he had ever been. He started rambling something about "borrowed your brother's iPod" and "thought you were gone." It was one of the funniest damn things I had ever seen, my dad trying to speak a coherent sentence.

"So Emmett's responsible for your love of all things R &B then? What's next, some new rims for the Mercedes? Oh, I know, we'll get you some bling for your birthday!"

I couldn't stop laughing. "All I can say is I want to be there when you start calling mom a ho, because that will be some funny shizzle, my dizzle. Peace out playa, we'll catch you on the flipside," I said as I closed the door.

I took Bella's hand and led her over to the elevators. As we waited for the doors to open, Bella jokingly asked if she should seek legal advice on whether or not she was being sexually harassed, since her boss basically likened her to a hooker. I laughed and told her it was definitely me Carlisle was whoring out, not the other way around.

The very second the elevator doors closed, I pinned Bella against the wall with my body and took her face in my hands. I had waited a torturous 14 hours and then some to feel her against me and I wasn't about to let another second go to waste. "I've been waiting to do this since the moment you drove out of the parking lot last night," I said, licking my lips as I stared into her eyes.

Bringing her face to mine, I placed a soft kiss on her lips, genuinely trying to maintain a modicum of restraint. But being with Bella in small and confined semi-public place, for some reason, caused me to chuck control out the damn window. I tasted her lips and her tongue and my body remembered with complete and total distinctness the infinite pleasures experienced from her touch. I needed and craved those pleasures for sustenance.

Skimming my hands down Bella's neck and side, I reached down, picked up her legs and wrapped them around my waist. Of course 'Fast Eddie' was ready to break out of my pants and sink the shot in the corner pocket. I ground my hips into her, possessed by a thirst to feel her everywhere and all at once. I kissed and licked her neck and took her malleable breasts into my kneading hands.

Bella had wound her hands in my hair, tugging fistfuls of it as she pressed herself against my erection. "Mmm…Edward….Oh God….that feels s-so good," she panted as I took her tit in my mouth, which was tragically covered by those creepy as shit Sponge Bob scrubs. I pulled her top at a downward angle as far as I could, thankful that it was cut low enough to expose at least one of her beautiful breasts.

I wanted skin, unimpeded contact my only focus. I moved her bra out of the way, freeing what my mouth hungered for. Bella moaned, which only intensified my desire. I continued to lick and suck her delicious nipple, which was more than just a favorite delicacy now. It was a dietary staple.

"Ed….Edward…w-we have to stop. The doors are going to open unless we press a button." She barely managed to breathe out the words. Which were not the words I wanted to hear at this particular moment but, sadly, I knew she was right. If we didn't stop, this would turn into a quick elevator fuck, and that was not what I wanted at all. Well, at least not for the first time. She meant more to me than that and I knew I wanted time to explore and memorize every part of her body. I was not opposed to adding an elevator, not necessarily the one right outside my dad's office, to the list of many places I planned to make love to Bella.

"I know, I know. I just can't help myself. You're lucky I'm willing to listen to that voice of reason you seem to possess, sweetness." I breathed into her ear as she unlocked her legs from around my waist. She straightened her blouse and I pressed the button for the first floor.

"Well, if you're still willing to listen, there are some things I'd like to talk about over lunch, if you don't mind." I noticed Bella's gaze drop to her shoes, her bottom lip falling victim to her teeth.

"Of course Bella, we can talk about whatever you want. Is there something troubling you? You're very fidgety all of the sudden, and I'm afraid I won't be able to kiss you again if you continue to eat your lower lip," I said, taking her hand in mine hoping to calm her movements.

"I did quite a bit of thinking last night after we got off the phone. There are just some things that concern me about _this_, "she motioned her other hand between us, "that I want to get out in the open before, you know, _things _go any further."

_What? _

Now this was a fork in the road that I did not see coming. I was suddenly worried that this ride was about to get really bumpy.

* * *

A/N: Ohai Edward...good to hear from you.

A couple of shout-outs if you would be so kind to as extend me some latitude:

Thanks upon thanks to **juliebee **for being my beta and making me sound way better than I do out of the gate. Not only does she correct my woefully sad punctuational misgivings and tense issues, she gives me support and makes me feel pretty darn good about myself.

A "gracias" as big as the great state we live in (albeit on opposite fucking ends!) to my Pimp-Master/Blinkie-Queen-Extraordinaire **RoseArcadia**. No one talks me off ledges like she does. I'd be a wreck without her.

Thanks to **Stratan **for letting me know how things look from the other side of the fence. He's a pretty awesome dude.

And even though she doesn't read fanfic, I just need to give hugs and kisses to my RL sister Stacie. She fosters my craziness, supports me like no one else and gives me ideas that make me sound way cooler than I actually am. I love her so much and just wanted to put that out there.

Aaannnnddd I'm done. Whew. Sorry for sparing you to death with all that jazz. See you guys soon. I can't promise any sort of an updating schedule, but I will work as hard as I can to get the next chapter up and away.


	3. Chapter 3 Pause for the Cause

**Disclaimer: This is rated M for a reason. If you aren't old enough to vote, you aren't old enough to read this story. I still own the same first name, just spelled differently. I don't own the good stuff that's made her famous. But, I do own a Twilight DVD that is signed by Catherine Hardwicke and Peter Facinelli.**

A/N#1: Before we begin, there is a certain moniker used below, which was coined by a fabulous goddess in the fandom to whom I will pay proper homage to at the end. She gave me the blessing to use the term, which resulted in a massive bout of hyperventilation.

**Chapter 3 – Pause for the Cause**

**BPOV **

_Hot. Sweat. Heavy breathing. Hands. Fingers. Lips. Tongues. Shivers. Tingly explosions. Edward. Mmmmm. Best dream ever._

I rolled over to turn off my alarm clock, slightly annoyed that I had been pulled from such an amazing nighttime fantasy. I was soaked in perspiration and thought it strange that this particular dream seemed so much more vivid than the others. And then it hit me. It wasn't a pipe dream that my overactive brain and undersexed body had concocted. It was real and it actually happened. _Well color me happy, there's a sofa in here for two. Okay, more like a bench, but whatevs…_

Of course, my brain was also an overanalyzing pain in the ass. Lying in the comfort of my bed for awhile, I found myself giving in to the seeds of apprehension which had started to sprout last night. After I got off the phone with Edward, the realization that none of this made any sense _whatsofuckingever _rained down on me like a bucket of cold ice water.

In the sauna and in the moment, I had let go of all my inhibitions and gave in to what my body wanted. It felt liberating and amazing. And when Edward told me he was open to all possibilities with me, the post-coital euphoria had me believing in fairy tale endings. Especially when I called to tell him I was home. He sounded so concerned and maybe a little … worried? I found this to be both surprising and adorable.

But once he realized that I was alright, he turned on that voice that made me want to go commando and fall spread-eagle on cue. The way he spoke, the audible sex in his voice was like a damn bell, which made me no better than Pavlov's driveling bitch. _Getting all worked up. Coming hither in ten minutes. Ding-motherfucking-dong._

Once we worked out the details on "The Great Carlisle Caper of 2009", we talked about the impending weekend and Edward did as promised, asking me out on a formal date. Deciding a nice dinner Friday night was a good place to start, Edward told me he knew the perfect place. Since my scrubs would definitely not be an appropriate wardrobe choice, I made a mental note to call Rosalie and Angela for backup.

It was when Edward starting talking about holding me captive for the whole weekend and the institution of "naked Sundays" that I started to worry a little. Not that I wasn't excited as hell to be his prisoner with an entire day devoted to birthday suit attire only; seriously, bring on the handcuffs and check all clothes at the door. I just didn't know if I was ready for that _yet__**. **_

There were so many things about Edward and his intentions, subconscious or not, that I wasn't sure of. I mean, I knew that we had some fierce carnal tendencies toward one another and had no doubt he could play my body like a finely tuned Stradivarius. What concerned me was the lack of knowledge as to whether there were real emotions to build on, not just hormones. Being more specific, not knowing if there were real emotions and not just hormones _on his end._

I on the other hand would be a complete moron not to realize that I had already developed feelings for him. Spending the better part of the last three months fantasizing about him, plus subjecting myself (and my quads) to exhausting torture just to see him, only to realize that not only was he beautiful, but seemed to be a genuinely good person. That happened to possess orgasm inducing tactile members. _Heaven only knows what bliss his other appendages could bring to fruition…_

What I could not seem to wrap my head around was why on earth he would want to explore any sort of possibility with me in the first place. I simply did not fit the mold of the type of woman one would expect to see on Edward's arm. A trophy girl as it were. The prototypical perfectly-sculpted-not-a-hair-out-of-place-flawlessly-skinned-enchantress which relegated those with XY chromosomes to puddles of goo. The proverbial Barbie to his Ken I was not.

I had absolutely no problem with my own self image at all - I knew I was considered attractive by the opposite sex - but I also knew when certain members of the opposite sex were out of my league. This is why I had never bothered with anything more than a surreptitious glance with men of Edward's caliber. Maybe I scared the hell out of them, who knew? I mean, my IQ was higher than a turnip and I could form complete sentences. Coupled with my extremely low bullshit tolerance, there just wasn't anything about me that these stud puppets ever found appealing.

If nothing else, I was a realist. And although I wasn't an MIT virtuoso or some shit, in the equation of Edward and me, _we_ did not add up. I didn't have to belong to Mensa to figure that out.

My real concern was that despite his best intentions at developing something substantial with me, he would lose interest once we had actual sex. I wasn't stupid and while I was born at night, it wasn't last night. I was all too aware that the Edwards of the world were used to getting nookie pretty much from whomever and whenever they wanted. Perhaps he was confusing whatever it was he thought he wanted from a dating standpoint with the thrill of the conquest. And once he'd planted his flag, he'd move on to other territory.

About one thing I was certain: I was absolutely not up for anything of a nail-and-bail variety. That was not me at all. I took sex very seriously, and unless I genuinely thought there was a possibility of a bona fide, monogamously exclusive relationship, I did not give up the goods. Renee always said, "Who wants to buy a cow that gives milk for free?" _I'm pretty sure my mother meant calling me a heifer in the nicest possible way, really. _Which is exactly why I could still count the number of my sexual partners on two hands.

I decided that at lunch, after we had our fun with Dr. Cullen, I would tell Edward that before any kind of deal was sealed, I wanted to make an effort to establish an honest emotional connection, one that flowed both ways. I figured either Edward would get tired of waiting me out, or he would prove that he meant what he said to me in the sauna. Not that I planned on making him wait a long time. Hell, I wasn't sure how long _I _would be able to wait.

One thing was for sure. If Edward balked at not rushing into sex, then he wasn't the man I thought he was. Sex being a deal breaker as to whether we kept seeing each other was an ender for me anyway. At least with that knowledge, I could save face and not compromise who I was. The fact was that jumping the gun, as far as sex was concerned, added more tension to the situation if things ended abruptly and badly. I categorically had no interest at all engaging in hump and dump affairs with my boss' son.

Throwing the covers back, I got my overly analytical, slightly-paranoid and completely smitten self up out of bed to begin my morning routine. After I put water on to boil in the teakettle for my cup of sugar and cream with a splash of coffee, I headed to the shower to get myself ready. I racked my brain as to which pair of scrubs were the least silly, but really when you work with kids all day, pretty much anything of the Disney/Nickelodeon variety is all you've got in the bag. I figured that Sponge Bob worked as well as anything else. Besides, this top had the deepest v-neck of all of my scrubs, so I decided to work with what I had.

_Are you fucking for real Bella? As if there was any way possible to make a crazy-ass talking sponge look anywhere in the zip code of appealing._

Of course I wanted to look as attractive for Edward as possible. All he'd ever seen me in was my disgusting workout attire, and while my work clothes were definitely not couture, they were a step up. At first I wondered if I should maybe incorporate some subtle makeup improvements, but decided against it, afraid that Carlisle might notice. I had to ensure that I behaved and looked exactly how I always did at work. Any deviation from the norm could possibly make Carlisle suspicious, and there was no way in hell that I would be the reason our cover got blown.

* * *

Once I got to work, I sat down at my desk and cleared out my voice mail. All the usual stuff – mostly pharmacies that needed calling for prescription refills or messages from parents needing to get in touch with Dr. Cullen. I decided that I would take the opportunity to call the hospital to check on Seth and see if Rose was on shift.

Next to Angela, Rosalie Hale was my very best friend in the world. She was a nurse and one of the first people I met when I started working at the hospital a few years ago. Ours was an interesting relationship to say the least. When Rose first introduced herself and invited me out for coffee, I thought she was just being friendly. I was completely clueless that she was actually hitting one me.

I soon realized that Rose was bi-curious and her affections didn't recognize gender. If someone caught her eye, man or woman, and if I were being honest, sometimes both at the same time, Rose made a play. As beautiful as she was, rarely got turned down. Rose's philosophy on love and attraction was simple: it was a buffet and she shouldn't have to stick to just one type of entrée. She liked sausage and taco equally. I, on the other hand, was an Eckerich only kind of gal. I may have very well been the first person in the history of Rose to ever tell her I didn't swing that way.

We both decided that the other was cooler than hell and settled on friendship instead. Of course, she always told me if I ever wanted a _different _perspective on things, I'd better call her stat. And in a pinch, I'd play the role of her girlfriend if she needed me to. If she was getting unwanted attention - from either team - well, I was her cover. Of course, the interested party immediately thought "threesome," which we used to our advantage in getting our bar tab picked up. It didn't matter how politely we refused, the drinks kept coming in hopes that we could be swayed, which never happened.

I heard the familiar voice speak in an amiable fashion. **"**Seattle Children's Hospital, 7th floor nurses station. Can I help you?"

"Only if you have a bottle of KY on you," I said jokingly.

"Do you need my help working your vibe again, Swan?"

"Not necessary, Hale. I didn't even need it last night, fuck you very much." It was amazing how fast Rose could switch from professional to crass sometimes.

"Bullshit you hooch! What are you NOT telling me?" Rose cackled in disbelief. Normally it was her that had all the juicy and sordid details. I was the one that had been going solo for so long that Rose and Angela had coined my lack of activity in the boudoir, or anywhere else for that matter, as "Bella's Recession." And of course, Rose was always offering her services for a stimulus package.

"Oh, that someone other than Bob may or may not have been responsible for my earth-shattering "o" last night. Nothing major really." I loved getting Rose's panties in a knot because I would make her work for the intel. It drove her nuts, which made me laugh. I had to savor moments like these because they were so rare.

"You better spill and fast sister, I mean it," Rose wailed impatiently. "Quit holding the fuck out on me, you wench!"

"Where is your professionalism Ms. Hale? I will tell you in due time." Oh, how I loved tormenting her. "First, I need to know how my boy is this morning, please ma'am."

"God, you can be so annoying sometimes," she huffed. "Fine, fine you evil hussy, but I want to know _everything_."

Rose and I both took the well-being of our patients very seriously, and she transitioned quickly back into professional mode. "Seth's X-rays show pneumonia in the left lung, upper lobe. So he's getting the usual cocktail of antibiotics, you know the Cullen special. Breathing treatments are Q3."

Seth's condition communicated, my girl immediately switched back into whore mode. "The Hot Bitch is almost done with rounds and should be heading your way very shortly. Now, quid pro quo, Agent Starling." I had to snort at Rose's use of Dr. Cullen's nickname and lame imitation of Sir Anthony.

"You have no idea how many times I've almost slipped and called him 'Hot Bitch' since I started working here, Rose," I scolded. I loved telling her she was a bad influence on me. "I swear, one of these days he's going to find out what we call him behind his back. And then I'll probably get fired for reverse sexual harassment or some crazy shit."

Suspecting that Rose was about to explode with curiosity, I took a deep breath and told her of my encounter with my insanely gorgeous spin teacher, and the subsequent revelation of his true identity.

Of course, I had to be very careful not to let my co-workers, _especially_ Ms. Cope, overhear. No doubt I would be subjected to the Spanish Inquisition and she would tell Dr. Cullen everything faster than Mario Andretti in turn five.

It was obvious from her uncharacteristic silence, save for a few muffled gasps, that Rose had been sufficiently shockprised by the time I was finished.

"You're telling me that Spin God is actually Hot Bitch Jr.? Mother puss bucket Bella Marie! This is like an episode of Outer Limits that's gone soft core! So does doc know? Are you guys like a thing now? Swan you need to tell me what the dealio is right now."

I had to tell Rose to either slow down and breathe or grab an EpiPen so I could further explain. I told her about our plans for Carlisle, our lunch date, and the concerns I wanted to address before things went any further. It was a very real possibility that my need to slow things down a bit with Edward would result in our lunch date being the first and last.

I trusted Rose to be completely honest with me if she thought I was being ridiculous. She wasn't one to mince words at all, which is one of the things that I loved most about her.

"Bella, you have to go with what your gut tells you," she advised. "If you want to slow down and take a step back, then that's what you should do. If the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree, then he'll understand and be fine with what makes you comfortable."

She was silent for a moment, and then continued. "Say what you want about the Hot Bitch, but he's a great guy and a class act. He loves his family and doesn't abuse his looks or his profession to get his jollies. God knows he's got more poon shoved in his face up here from all the Nightingales."

"As far as your date Friday night, don't you worry, my beautiful bird." I smiled to myself as she continued on with her newfound plans. "Webber & I will be there tomorrow night with reinforcements before he picks you up. Yes, Bella, he will be picking you up."

As expected, talk of wardrobe immediately ensued. "For starters, you can't wear _anything _you own, so I'll bring some options from Chez Rose so that you can dazzle him properly. Of course, something tells me that you have already done that." Oh, how I loved Rose more than life itself sometimes. She always permeated such self-confidence; I hoped eventually I could adopt some by proxy.

Not too long after I hung up with her, my boss walked in the office with what I noticed to be an extra spring in his step. Of course, I knew the exact reason for said bounce, but was totally unprepared when I walked into his office and saw him…._waltzing and humming 'Nessun Dorma'? Praise be to the gods of all that is classical that Carrie Ann Inaba is still breathing, because I was pretty sure that Puccini was rotating in his final resting place at that moment. _

"Ahem, excuse me Dr. Cullen," I stammered. "I, um, don't mean to disturb you, but I thought you might want to go through your messages before the patients start rolling in. You're in a chipper mood this morning, by the way." I had to keep my focus on his tie so that I didn't crack up at the cat-eat-shit grin on his face. He knew he'd been caught, but was too full of himself at my presumed ignorance to really care.

"Ah, yes Bella, I suppose I am. I just have a feeling today is going to be a really good one, that's all."

_Why of course you do, you sly Hot Bitch you . . ._

* * *

The morning flew by in a haze of patients, coughs, wheezes and neb treatments and before I knew it, high noon had just about arrived. Which meant that the tall drink of water known as Edward Cullen would be walking into the office at any moment. I said a quick Hail Mary Full of Grace, even though I wasn't Catholic, in hopes that I would be able to hold my composure when he arrived.

I was on my way to find Dr. Cullen to get his signature when I heard that smooth-as-a-baby's-ass voice waft through the office, playfully teasing and flirting with Ms. Cope. As it had been more than twelve hours since I'd seen him, I badly wanted to steal a glimpse of his perfection, but I couldn't risk a melt-down before go-time. So I did the only responsible thing I could do. I went and hid in the bathroom.

I stayed out of sight for a few minutes, taking calming breaths and giving myself Stuart Smalley affirmations, readying myself for the performance of my fucking life. How, in the name of all that was holy and pure, I was going to walk into Carlisle's office and pretend I didn't know his son was beyond me. Was I really going to be able to look Edward in those gorgeous greens and not give away that he had touched my body, mind and soul in ways that had emblazoned and irrevocably awakened all three? I prayed to Thespis I would.

Apparently, his ghost must have heard me because somehow I didn't give anything away. The whole plan went off without a hiccough. Carlisle was probably going to have to unscrew his jaws to lose the smile that was plastered on his face.

Just when I thought Dr. Cullen's behavior couldn't get any farther left of center, Edward and I actually witnessed the homeboy metamorphosis as he mutilated some Nelly song. All I heard was the word 'pimp' and immediately my mind conjured up images of Carlisle sporting blingage and ice rolling in tricked out hoopty complete with fuzzy dice, 24's and Bone Thugs N' Harmony blaring from his woofers.

My mind had gone straight up Compton, until the elevator doors closed and it was transported straight into the San Fernando Valley. Before I could properly digest what was happening, Edward had my legs around his waist, his mouth on one of my girls and I was grinding against his rock hard dick, moaning like the whores Pimp Daddy C had been singing about only moments ago.

In a flash, need and want consumed and overtook all logic. All I could think about was Edward's hands roaming over every inch of my skin, the whole of me moving and responding to his every command, both silent and spoken. I was almost completely pulled under the desirous waves and caught up in the bliss of his caress, marveling how my entire being trilled at his touch. My mind knew that my body had never responded in this manner to anyone, _ever_, like it did Edward.

I could spend eternity reveling in the feel of his tongue kissing and licking, the deliciousness of the swirling and twirling and soft suckling sounds Edward made as he continued lapping at my breast. I wanted nothing more than to be consumed by and cloaked in the intense passion that overtook every fiber of me; yet somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, I heard the small whispers of reason that began to grow louder with every panting breath that left my lungs.

_Danger! Danger Will Robinson! Abort! Abort! Abort!_

"Ed-Edward," I panted, "w-we have to stop. The doors are going to open unless we press a button." How I managed to verbalize my hazy, lust-clouded concern I had no idea. It took every ounce of resolve I had in my system to make myself say the words, let alone make my body stop clinging to Edward's.

It was now or never. If I didn't tell him in that moment we needed to discuss the nature of us and the fast pace at which things seemed to be moving, I might as well peel my clothes off right here in the elevator and let him have his way with me. And as incredibly enticing and unbelievably fucking hot as the notion seemed, I knew deep down I wanted more with this man. I needed him to know how I truly felt and down what road I hoped our future was headed.

* * *

As we made our way over to his vehicle, the sight of our two cars parked side-by-side struck me as being absolutely indicative of the way Edward and I must look standing together. His beautiful, sharp and ruggedly decked out Land Rover overshadowed my little unassuming two-door Camry. Not that I didn't love my Camry; it was a fantastic car. Just very common and plain, a lot like its owner.

The ride over to the Honey Bear Café was a tad on the quiet side, the conversation a bit strained given our impending discussion about where things stood. Luckily, it was only about fifteen minutes away from the office. Edward was listening to the latest Foo Fighters CD; I recognized it because I had the very same one on my Zune. I noted that we had similar taste in music and prayed that this was a sign of how our lunch date might turn out.

Before I knew it, the car had stopped and we were parked outside the café. I was staring out the window, my nerves frazzled and my mind reciting over and over the things which caused my hesitance, when I felt his thumb pull at my bottom lip, which I had obviously been gnawing on.

"I keep telling you I'm not going to be able to kiss you if you digest your lower lip, Bella. Is this your subtle way of telling me you don't like kissing me?"

_If he only knew. _

"Oh, God no Edward, that's not it at all! Trust me," I reassured him. "On the contrary, I'm pretty sure kissing you is pretty much my new favorite hobby. I just have a lot on my mind and there are things I need to get out in the open, but I'm afraid you might not li . . ."

Edward moved with the speed of a mountain lion pouncing on its defenseless prey as his lips devoured my own, swallowing my words whole.

"You're rambling," he said softly as he gently pulled away from me, "and obviously whatever it is that we need to discuss is making you uneasy. I can feel the tension emanating from your body in waves. You can talk to me Bella, I promise. Don't be scared. I'm here and if memory serves, I said I was in _this, _didn't I?"

He _had_ said that, but my insecurities were overpowering. "Yes you did, Edward. I just worry that you might not like what I have to say and you'll disappear," I admitted, as my heart migrated north and settled in my throat. "And then _this _will be over before it ever really had a chance to begin."

He feigned apprehension as he quirked his eyebrow at me. "Hmmm. Well, you're not a serial killer and on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list, are you?"

"Not the last time I checked, no." I smiled.

"Well, that's very reassuring. Apart from that, I don't think there's anything you could say that would make me run screaming down the street. So why don't we go inside, have a nice lunch, and you can tell me what's troubling you about _us_."

_Us. He said 'us' as in me and him. Together. That has to be a positive sign…._

We walked inside and waited for assistance. The host approached us, asking if we were ready to be seated. After we told him yes, we followed him and his over-coiffed mish-mash of hair products.

I couldn't help but notice the way he was eye fucking my date-slash-almost-boyfriend (and hopefully possible-babydaddy-candidate). I couldn't really blame the poor guy; it wasn't like I hadn't engaged in the very same thing at the gym on a weekly basis myself. After all, it took an eyefucker to know one. I wondered if Edward had picked up on my Wednesday night aesthetic assaulting ritual.

Our host started to seat us at a table, but Edward politely asked if we could have a booth in the back where there was more privacy. Mr. Cakeboy looked over at me with the slightest of sneers and I swear I saw a silent "bitch" leave his lips before he turned on his heel and pranced over to a booth in the corner.

"How's this, sir?" he asked Edward, completely dismissing me.

"This is perfect, thank you very much." Edward smiled as he pulled me into his side.

I couldn't stop the huge fucking eye roll as Stanford Blatch told us our waitress would be with us shortly. "Looks like you have an admirer, Mr. Cullen," I taunted him. "I'm quite sure he would dive to catch any digits you threw his way."

"While I have nothing against the lifestyle whatsoever, I am personally all about the ladies. Well, actually one lady specifically." His green eyes flashed and he gave me that sexy smirk as he continued, "I have no desire to throw digits, as the one person who matters already has them."

_Oh. God. He's way too good at this shit. _

"So, the suspense is killing me Ms. Swan. Please tell me what's on your mind, because it's obvious I can't read it, although with you I think that gift would be priceless. Something tells me you don't ever fully communicate what you're thinking. And while your eyes and blush don't totally give you away, they do tip your hand slightly."

As I readied myself to spill, our waitress walked over and sat two water glasses down on the table. And while I was thankful that this knock-out strawberry blonde spared me for a few more moments, I was also prepared to stare down the newest eyefucker in our midst. Except that her gaze didn't linger on the incredibly gorgeous man that sat across from me, oh no. She was staring straight _at me and licking her fucking lips. _

"Hello. My name is Tanya and I'll be taking care of you this afternoon. Have you decided what you'll be having today?" She very suggestively cooed and licked her lips again. Still. Staring. At. Me.

_What in the bloody hell?_ This just could not get anymore surreal. What was it about me that made people's gaydar malfunction? I looked over at Edward and noted that is eyes had currently bugged completely out of his head.

He somehow managed to clear his throat and gave Tanya our orders. Once she was out of earshot, he very devilishly said, "It looks like I'm not the only one here with an admirer, Ms. Swan. Something tells me she's not going to wait for you to toss her your number. A back rub says she gives you hers before we walk out of here."

"You're on." I grinned like a Cheshire cat. I was a winner no matter what happened. The very words "Edward" and "massage" used in the same sentence could only end in victory, regardless of who was rubbing whom. Slam and dunk. "Besides," I added, "I know someone that would be very interested to meet our stunning waitress. That is, if she doesn't already know her."

I told him about Rose and how our incredibly close friendship began with her attempt at a failed courtship. Edward thought it was wild that Rose wasn't sexually discriminate and mentioned introducing her to his older brother Emmett. I told him that I thought Rose's present affinity for all things Sapphic might be a bruise to his brother's ego.

Edward just laughed, telling me Emmett could stand to be taken down a few notches. After a few moments and one slightly awkward pause, Edward turned very serious and said, "Bella, please talk to me. I need to know what's wrong."

Eyefucking hosts and waitresses aside, I was all too aware that I had to get things out in the open before we could move forward. I recited the word "we" over and over in my head like a mantra, praying that there would still be the option of a "we" after I'd finished.

"There's no easy way for me to say this, so I'm just going to be blunt," I closed my eyes, swallowed my pride, and continued. "As attracted to you as I am, and as badly as I want you, I'm not having sex with you until I know for sure that's not your sole interest in me."

I went on nervously, "I've replayed last night in its entirety, trust me, over and over again. And while I am excited and thrilled that you even want to explore _anything _with me, you and me as couple just doesn't make any sense at all in my head. You are very obviously _otherworldly_; I mean you have to know how insanely gorgeous you are. You're kind of a Copperfield when it comes to ladies underwear I would imagine." I only briefly paused to refill my lungs.

"And me? Well, I'm just _me_." I continued. "Deep down I know I don't look anything like the women you normally date. Don't get me wrong, I don't have issues with self esteem and shit. I don't think there's anything wrong with me or anything. It's just - I get that the Giseles of the world end up with the Leos and the Toms. You very clearly fall into the Leo/Tom category. Me? I'm nowhere in the Gisele neighborhood at all.

"The whole situation makes my brain wonder what you really want with me, and well, the only logical explanation I could come up with was sex." I finally paused and took in a huge breath. However, I could not bring myself to open my eyes after the word vomit I had just hurled in Edward's direction.

"Bella, open your eyes and look at me." I obliged, but only minutely as he continued. "That's quite a lot to take in, I'll admit. But, please listen carefully to what I'm about to say: First, while I am absolutely interested and desire a relationship sexual in nature with you, _that_ is not the only thing I want. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I can have _sex _pretty much whenever the mood strikes me. A willing party is not something I have to search too terribly hard for." He paused briefly to gauge my reaction to his admission.

"What I _need_ is something deeper and more meaningful, and I believe you are the one to fulfill that. Of course the sexual chemistry and the intimacies we have shared thus far have been amazing, but I know that there is more here between us than the physical pleasures I have no doubt we can give one another. I've had plenty of sex; most of it empty, and while momentarily gratifying, largely unsatisfying long term.

"So, the answer is no, sex is not the only thing that attracts me to you. I will go as slow or as fast as you wish. You take the lead and I will follow. In regards to sex, I assure you that I will be ready but only when you are, and not one minute before then. And as far as appearances are concerned, it's painfully obvious that you don't see yourself very clearly at all." He reached across the table and took my hand in his own.

"Because in my humble opinion," he said as he kissed one finger….

"you are," then another…

"perhaps," and another…

"the most," and another….

"exquisite woman," lastly my thumb….

"that I've ever known," he finished, placing a final kiss on the back of my hand.

_Hummina hummina hummina…Claudia Schiffer I am not, but I have just been Copperfield-ed, no two ways about it. I think my Vickie's Secret Very Sexy knickers have just dematerialized._

I wanted to say something, anything, in response to his beautifully reassuring words. All I could do was fight the overwhelming urge to leap over the table and plant myself in his lap and hold on for dear life. And breathe. I reminded myself to breathe because studies showed that oxygen was important. I was a respiratory therapist, for fuck's sake.

"So, does any of what I just said allay any of your apprehension? You look like you have about a million questions running through your head. Surely there's something you want to say, Bella."

It was at that precise moment that my would-be-wooer brought our food to the table. I had to admit, Tanya was challenging Mariano Rivera with the saves she was throwing down, as she was now two for two.

"I…I don't even know where to begin Edward. So, I'll start with yes. Yes, I feel immensely better about things now. I really don't mean to be so neurotic, and I sure as hell don't want to come off as a prude because I'm not."

I paused in order to collect my thoughts. "I just don't take sex lightly, that's all. Which is exactly the reason why my number of sexual partners is in the single digits," I admitted, maybe a little too sheepishly for my liking. I couldn't help but wonder how high the body count was on Edward's end. I figured as long as we were being honest, I would just ask him.

Edward sat there for a moment picking at his food, evidently trying to surmise how to answer my question. I was a bit taken aback because I couldn't imagine that Edward had been at a loss for words very many times in his life. I found it only slightly funny and considerably unsettling that such a simple question appeared to be giving him such trouble. And even more frightening was the prospect that the number was too high to count.

"Shit, how do I answer this without coming off like a complete tool?" He grimaced. "I mean, I think…if I had to guess….well, do you remember every time you trim your toenails?"

_The hell you say? Dear gods of sexual prowess, please tell me he is not comparing sexual relationships to podiatry hygiene. _It was only then that I realized I had spit out my tea mid-drink.

"Bella, seriously, it's not that big of an issue. Look, there was a point in time when I went through women like water, a part of my past that I'm not particularly proud of. But I've moved on from that sort of behavior and am more than capable of sustaining a committed and monogamous relationship. I want to very much with you, if you're willing to take up with a reformed gigolo, that is." Then he pulled out the big guns and smiled that smile that was so fucking hot it should come with a Surgeon's General Warning.

"Edward, I'm not quite sure how to respond to your question, which I'm going to assume was rhetorical," I stoically said as I still tried to wrap my brain around the fact that there had been so many women before me that he simply couldn't remember.

"Listen, I'm going to be as candid and open as I know how. Yes, I've dated a whole hell of a lot, and yeah, I've circled the block more times than I can count. I'm tired of the meat market mentality that's so prevalent. So, my philosophy is this: The next woman that I fall in love with and can give my heart and soul to, I'm not wasting any time, I'm going to make her my wife and my forever. That's what I want."

_Yes, I would like an application for the position of Co-CEO of Matrimonial Operations and Parental Relations please. I can start immediately and am pretty sure we can hit the JP before my lunch hour is over. No telling what song Pimp Daddy C would bust out with at the news…._

With that prospect out in the open, all I could do was nod my head, smile and squeeze Edward's hand, hoping against all hope that he understood what I couldn't find the words to say. That I wanted a forever too, and even thought it was a little presumptuous on my part, the idea of forever with Edward was indeed the stuff fairy tales were made of.

* * *

After we had finished lunch and I ordered a dessert to go - a slice of Honey Bear's Chocolate Decadence Torte, complete with fresh strawberry garnish - Edward and I headed back to the office so I could finish out my work day. I couldn't wait to call Rose and tell her I would need her and Angela's support services tomorrow night after all.

I was so relieved and pleased at the way our lunch date had turned out. I was both excited and amazed that Edward was still on board with whatever it was we were doing, seeing as how I had thrown a roadblock on the whole hibbity dibbity situation.

I genuinely looked forward to really getting to know him, biblical sense included, and savoring every moment we could spend together. The fact that he was allowing me to dictate the pace spoke volumes, and while I wasn't ready to consummate things quite yet, I knew that my submission was imminently imminent.

My elation was such that I didn't even care about trying to keep it contained around Dr. Cullen. I had no desire to hide the smile that Edward put on my face, nor the euphoria he'd injected into my soul. For once, I was going to allow myself to really experience the joy and newfound hope that my knight in shining armor had indeed arrived. And if Dr. Cullen wanted to gloat and add T Pain, 50 Cent and maybe even a little P Diddy, I would oblige and get my groove on right along with him. I was pretty fly for a white girl, I had to admit.

Edward walked me back inside the building. I told him once we got on the elevator that he needed to behave and be a good boy. Of course, Edward wiggled his eyebrows and told me he was _always_ good. Yeah, I left myself wide open for that one, didn't I?

Admittedly, we were both a bit shocked to find that we were the first ones to make it back to the office. It was so strange to see a place that was normally filled with controlled chaos so atypically quiet. It seemed we had been gone for ages, but maybe it was the guise that being with Edward caused some eerie wrinkle in the space time continuum.

I asked Edward to go put my torte in the refrigerator because I had some serious plans that involved both that yummy goodness and my digestive system later in the afternoon. I dumped my purse at my workstation, heading into one of the patient rooms to see where I left my stethoscope. I couldn't seem to remember whether I had left it in the spaceship or the castle room…

I flipped the light on and started looking in the cabinets, when I heard the door close and a click of the lock. _What in the….._

I turned to find Edward with my Chocolate Decadence still in his hand, his back up against the door with a gleam in his eye that made my heart cease and desist all palpitations. _There has to be a crash cart somewhere in this office…._

He slowly sauntered over to where I stood, as I was now leaning against the counter, my back towards the cabinets I had been digging in only moments before. Setting my dessert box down, he reached over my head to close the doors. He gently pressed his body against mine, not at all like the frenzied, crushing manner in the elevator, but almost delicately like a soft snuggly blanket. Flipping the box top open, he picked up a piece of fresh strawberry and swirled it in the chocolate frosting, never taking his eyes off mine.

"Don't you want a bite to see if it tastes as good as it looks?" He held the bite mere centimeters from my mouth. "Why don't you open up like a good girl and tell me how edible it is?"

"Well, since you were such a good boy in the elevator and minded your manners, it would be impolite of me to refuse such a generous offer." I smiled and parted my lips as my stomach turned somersaults at the idea of Edward feeding me.

"Say ahhh Ms. Swan," he crooned as he placed the chocolate frosted strawberry into my mouth. There was no fighting the breathy moan that resonated from my lips as I relished the delectable morsel, knowing that the only thing more heavenly would be Edward's chocolate-covered-strawberry-flavored lips. Or any other muscle he might allow me to cover in food sometime in the near future….

"Uh-oh, it seems that you've dribbled down your chin, sweetness. Here, let me help you out with that." With those dulcet words, he licked said dribble from said chin. _.Fuck. "_Mmmm, I don't know how edible _your _dessert was, but I can unequivocally attest to the succulence of _mine_."

_..Fuck._

Before rational thought could take hold as to the complete wrongness of where we were and the decided shame and consequences should we get caught, Edward ensnared my mouth with his own, delivering the most lusciously scrumptious chocolaty strawberry kisses ever bestowed in the history of co-mingling tongues. Once again, I found myself powerless to stop as my hands wrapped themselves in Edward's copper locks and I tilted my head to redouble our exchange.

Edward moaned and for the second time in less than ninety minutes, I found my legs sheathed around his hips, his ever-expanding erection nestled right in between my most feminine of places. There was no denying how incredibly and sinfully wonderful he felt against me.

Grabbing my ass, Edward spun us around and carried me over to the examining table as I grabbed his shoulders for support. He tenderly sat me down on the table, my ankles hooking around him like a vice. Trailing tingling kisses down my neck and under my earlobe, he wriggled his hands underneath my pants and started kneading my backside with the most wicked ministrations. I slid my own hands underneath Edward's untucked shirt because I desperately needed skin-to-skin contact. His abs still felt as alluringly rippled as they had last night.

Obviously, the only thing my hips wanted to do was writhe when pressed flush against Edward's, because my self control wasn't for shit when I was in such a compromising position. Apparently neither was his, as he began bucking against my gyrations, pressing me more firmly into him with every squeeze of my ass cheeks. Back and forth, in melodic undulations our bodies moved forward and retreated, the repetitive motion becoming more and more forceful with each thrust. This was without question the most intense session of dry-humping I'd ever experienced, bar none.

I wanted to scream in pleasure almost as badly as I wanted Edward to do the same. We were working ourselves into a frenzy and I was about to toss my "let's-slow-things-down" attitude on the floor - along with all of my clothes - when all of the sudden I heard voices coming down the hall and Edward's phone ring almost simultaneously. _Talk about a conspiracy, mother bitches . . ._

"Ed-Edward," I gulped and frantically tried to catch my breath as quietly as possible, "they're back. We have to stop before they find us. And you need to answer your phone."

"Shit!" He hissed in my ear. "Yeah, okay." He was having as difficult a time as I was attempting to moderate his breathing. Edward pulled out his phone, briefly looking at the screen to see who was calling.

"Hey Mom, what's up?"

_Okay, I didn't mean "mother bitches" literally . . ._

"Yeah, I'm still at Dad's office. Yes I just dropped her off. No, Mom, now is not a good time." I wondered if he always sounded this exasperated when he talked to Esme. "Because mother, she is standing right here and I'm not going to give you a play-by-play," he sneered.

I was happy that Esme wasn't here to see the eye rolls that were taking place during the call. "Look, I'll call you when I get in the car. Yes, Mom, we had a nice lunch. No Mom, we went to . . . aw, come on Mom, just give me about five minutes to tell Bella and Dad goodbye and I will call you," Edward huffed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

After he hung up, he rubbed his hands up and down my arms, still miffed at the desiccant coitus-interruptus. "I'm sorry, I love my mother dearly, but she makes me ponder life in a straight jacket sometimes."

I smiled as I thought of Renée. "That's kind of what mothers are for, aren't they? Sometimes I think they have built-in radar for the impeccable timing of interrupting at the most inopportune moments. Besides, I'm sure your dad is going to start questioning my whereabouts any minute now."

"Yeah, I guess I better let you get back to work. Although, I don't think you'd be the one in trouble. He wouldn't fire you, he'd just disinherit me. See, he already likes you better," he teased as he cupped my face in his hands and stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at seven o'clock, alright? Our reservations are at seven-thirty. I'm not sure how I'm going to stand over twenty-four hours without seeing you. I guess this will test my willpower, huh?"

I laughed as he kissed me one last time, slow, soft and sweet, before backing away and quietly slipping out the door.

My mind, body and soul reeled with the developments of the last couple of hours. I had intended to be so strong in my convictions not to rush into a sexual relationship with a man that I had known less than a full day. Already I was envisioning nights filled with passionate lovemaking and a life overflowing with love and laughter. Wasn't it too early to be thinking about a happily ever after, and shouldn't the fact that I already was scare the absolute shit out of me?

All I knew was that as far as the "Edward Portion Control Diet" was concerned, _my_ willpower was tenuous at best. Being close to Edward like that always left me hungering for more.

* * *

A/N #2: Awww, am I a meanie or what? Just a wee bit o'cockblockage there. But, no worries my darlin's. There is more citrus on the horizon.

Aaaannnd, we know who the text message Edward received last chapter _was not_ from, don't we? Many of you thought it was from Tanya. *giggles* Um, no.

So….the term/character "Hot Bitch" is owned by the sole creator of aforementioned character and supreme goddess of all things PFac, the divine and insanely fabulous, **Ninapolitan. **I peed my pants when a) I found out she was reading my little ditty and b) she gave me the blessing to use her coinage.

As always, must send pinches and squeezes to my beta momma **juliebee. **She works my mess over with her majik stick and stops the bleeding with aspirin and bandages galore. She also gives "atta girls" and ass smacks like nobody else. I am so lucky that she took me on. Straight up.

There will never be enough I can say about my PM (Pimp Master) and wonderful friend **RoseArcadia. **She is amazing and I am so blessed to have met her through the greatness of this fandom. I would be an even bigger neurotic mess than I already am if I didn't have her stamp of approval on these chapters. Rose is the best-hand-holder EVER.

Thanks to everyone who is reading and put me on alert. You guise make me jumpyclap like whoa.


	4. Chapter 4 Baby Let's Cruise

**Disclaimer: Yeppers, this one is rated M. If you didn't throw down a ballot between Obama and McCain, then stop right here. I'm a momma first and foremost. Don't make me put you in time out 'cause I will. I own the same first name (still spelled differently), but only because I didn't legally change it to OchoCinco, which resulted in an assload of fines from the NFL just for having great schtick.**

A/N#1: Many of you dearies were wondering if Tanya ever slipped Bella her digits. The answer is no. She would have to be blind as a bat in January not to see the chemistry between Spinward and Ms. Bella, ergo understood the futility of such a gesture. That's not to say we won't see her at some point down the road. *wiggles eyebrows* Also, I didn't do a PSA regarding Edward's past conquests. Here's the dealio: With Carlisle being a medical professional, it would have been drilled into both Edward's and Emmett's melons not only the importance of safety, but also getting tested regularly. That is all. And away we go…its Friday night date time people!

**Chapter 4 – Baby Let's Cruise**

**BPOV **

"I look like an asshole!" I wailed, stepping out of my closet and throwing my hands in the air. "This dress is to die for, but seriously, I cannot carry this thing off." Spinning in a circle, I gestured to my cleavage so that I could properly show them what I meant. "From a funbag standpoint, this dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that otherwise known as my mamms. Rose, you know I love your taste in clothes, but come on, Chesty LaRue I am not."

Rose and Angela sat on the edge of my bed, both looking at me with mixed expressions of exasperation and amusement. I had lost count as to how many of Rose's outfits I had tried on, and we hadn't even broached the subject of shoes yet. It was almost six o'clock, which meant that I had about an hour before Edward arrived.

"Um, can you stop channeling Heather Mooney for about ten seconds so I can tell you how amazing you look in my Allen Schwartz please?" Rose stated very matter-of-factly. "Now, if you please, Ms. Mooney, go back into the closet and let Bella come out."

Suddenly, there was fit of cackling laughter, which startled both Rose and me, as it was coming from Angela, who was usually the quiet one. Rose and I exchanged questioning looks wondering what was so hilarious.

"It's just … it's just…Rose, you've been trying to get Bella to come out of the closet for years now!" Angela bellowed. "Should I leave and give you two some _alone time_?" She wiped her eyes and continued to chuckle.

"Oh Weber, if you only knew… I've always said 'once you go me, you'll be done with the peen.' I know this to be a fact." Rose quirked her eyebrow at me with a shit-eating grin on her face. "Last chance, Swan. Lose Hot Bitch Jr. and prove me wrong. I dare ya."

"You're hi-fucking-larious, Hale," I glared at Rose while trying not to laugh my ass off. "And you, Webber," I said, turning on Angela, "way to go getting her started. Now come on - both of you focus! What the hell am I going to wear?" It struck me that at the moment I probably sounded a lot like the children I worked with.

Rosalie looked at me with a serious expression, her laughter receding. "Let me ask you one question, Swan. Have I ever lied to you, or blown smoke up your ass?"

"No, you haven't Rose. It's just I've seen this dress on you and I know how gorgeous you look in it and…"

"Shush!" Rose cut in and snapped her fingers at me like a mother scolding her disobedient child. I immediately shut my trap and put my hands on my hips. I knew I'd better quit while I was ahead. Normally, going toe-to-toe with Rose was not something I shied away from, but I was so damned nervous about my date with Edward I just didn't have the fight in me.

"Okay, "she began, "your issues with your yabbos are completely unfounded. I happen to think they are quite fabulous, and God knows I've seen and felt enough of them that my opinion is fucking gospel." She paused while giving me a sly smirk. "So if I tell you I think you look amazing, then you need to just smile and thank me for being so incredibly awesome."

"Rose is right Bella," Angela said as she walked over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. "You look stunning. Edward won't be able to take his eyes off of you." Angela was always so reassuring and positive. We had known each other since high school and was one of the first friends I made when I moved to Forks as a teenager. We both ended up in Seattle after college and managed to stay close after all these years.

I smiled at my two best friends, my acquired siblings, and realized how blessed and fortunate I was to have two such wonderful, albeit completely different, ladies in my life. They were the two best cheerleaders a querulous nut job like me could ask for.

"Okay, so now you two have made me all emo with your respective perverseness and altruism," I said throwing my arm around Angela's waist and putting my head on her shoulder. "So, what in the name of Tim Gunn am I going to put on my feet? I don't think my Shoxx really go with the dress, although I'm tempted as hell because I know I won't fall on my ass. They're the one pair of shoes I can stay vertical in."

Angela shook her head and giggled, patting me on the cheek. "The shoes are my contribution to this fabulous ensemble, Ms. Swan. Rose, as we all know, doesn't own a pump lower than four inches. So being the stellar comrade I am, I brought you my fabulous suede Stuart Weitzman's with the jewely thingy at the toe. I think you can handle two-and-a-half inches."

"Oh you better be prepared to handle a hell of a lot more than that, especially after what you said HBJ was packing," Rose snorted.

We all giggled like twelve-year-old school girls at a slumber party as the discussion turned woefully phallic in nature. The ensuing debate of length versus circumference and general bantering penile repartee really calmed my nerves as I realized the hour of seven o'clock was drawing ever closer.

Angela and Rose excused themselves to the kitchen to grab more wine while I retired to the bathroom to commence hair and make-up. My stylists had decided that I should wear my hair down, as Edward had primarily only ever seen it tied back with my bandanna. Make-up wise, I was instructed to wear colors that would accentuate my eyes and skin tone.

Not trusting that I wouldn't end up looking like Tammy Faye Baker, God rest her soul, Angela just laid all the shit out I was supposed to use, providing me careful instruction about what went where._ Thanks guys, way to have faith._ Hells bells, I wasn't completely inept. I at least knew the difference between eye shadow and blush …

As I applied my war paint and gussied myself up, I pondered the possibility that maybe, just maybe, I was about to go on the _last first date of my life_. And as overwhelming and all-encompassing a speculation that idea was, it excited me to no end that maybe Edward was the one. I paused for a split second, took in a deep breath and readied myself for the beginning of what could be my happy ending.

* * *

**EPOV**

_I am Edward Cullen. I don't get anxious about my dates. I make my dates anxious. So why the fuck am I acting so much like a chick?_

Time had not been my friend today, and sure hadn't been on my side, thank you Mr. Jagger. The seconds barely morphed into minutes and the minutes took forever and a damn day to convert to hours. It reminded me of when we were kids, and my parents would take us to the state fair. We always had to walk through the car building to get to the midway where the games were. Entering the dreaded building of never ending vehicles and seeing the doors on the opposite end, it always seemed like it would take an eternity to make it through the maze of Fords, Chevys and Dodges. My mom and dad would stop and look at all the models, not even in the market for a new car, and all we wanted to do was get to the good stuff already.

Well, this day was my journey into that damn dreaded house of motorized transportation and Bella was my prize waiting to be won on the midway of fun and games.

Even though I had a class to teach and appointments with a few graduate students, that only kept me occupied until mid-afternoon. So I gave Emmett a call and asked him if he wanted to hit the gym. He was the regional General Manager for 24 Hour Fitness, which was how I came to teach spin in the first place. There was a spot that needed filling and he asked if I would be up for it. I got a free membership out of the deal, so it was a win for both of us.

Of course, I should've known that a workout wouldn't do much good for my state of mind, even with Emmett putting me through the paces. I really tried not to telegraph the fact that I was filled with anticipation for this evening, especially in the presence of my older brother. I fucking knew that if I showed the slightest trace of eagerness, Em would want to know why, and of course, I couldn't lie to my big brother. _You can't bullshit a bullshitter._ Once he found out it was a lady that had me all wound up, he would bemoan the fact that he'd taught me better and demand my Mancard. I decided the best course of action was to keep my damned mouth shut.

To expect the same from my mother, well, I could wish in one hand and piss in the other and see which one filled up faster. When she had pertinent information on any one of us, she just had to call the other two and keep them "in the loop" as she liked to call it. I loved my mother more than life itself and she didn't have a mean bone in her body, but the woman could not keep certain things to herself where Emmet, Alice and I were concerned for shit.

I shouldn't have been at all surprised when Emmett kept giving me funny looks and kept talking about his plans for the weekend, obviously trying to draw me offsides to get me to divulge my own. I knew the lines and I was not biting. I also knew that subtlety was a foreign concept to my hulk of a brother. There was nothing at all about him that was understated.

"So, little bruh," he blurted out, while I was mid bench press of course, "are you gonna cop to the date you have with the chick that works for Dad or what? You know mom's already spilled what she knows to me and Al. You need to fess up, 'cause I'm not feelin' the love."

"Well, if you must know, I'm banging Ms. Cope, "I dead panned as I finished my set and sat up from the bench. "There, you happy now?"

"Dude, that is one image I didn't need taking up space in my brain, and just plain fucking wrong on so many levels." Emmett shuddered, scrunching up his face in disgust. "Seriously man. Mom told me you're taking - what's her name, Bella - out tonight. So, you finally let Dad pimp your sorry ass out, huh?"

"If you already knew the answer smart ass, why did you ask me in the first place? Or maybe I should have assumed your question was a rhetorical one, _bruh_," I answered somewhat brusquely, getting up to refill my water.

"For real, I just wanted to get the details from you, that's all. No need to get cheesed off, okay?"

I thought carefully before I answered my older, but not necessarily more mature brother. If I told him everything, _well, okay not everything, _but if I came clean that I had met Bella only slightly before Dad had introduced us, well, might as well put that shit up on TMZ. Our little con would be blown all to hell, so I omitted certain details and gave him the run down on where things currently stood with my girl.

_Did I just mentally refer to her as 'my girl'? _

_I sure as hell did, and I liked the way it sounded. _

"Look, Ed, I'm not telling you what to do or anything, but just be careful, okay?" Emmett paused for a second, clearly trying to ascertain how to best impart whateverthefuck sage advice he had to give. "Remember that time I let Dad set me up with that physical therapist that works at the hospital, Lucy? You know the tall leggy blonde that's built like a brick shithouse?"

I nodded, only vaguely recalling that Dad had ever set Emmett up, and certainly unable to recall the lady in question.

"Yeah, well she was a real piece of work. First few dates were awesome, but after that she turned out to be a whack job when she found out we weren't exclusive and shit. It made things a little uncomfortable for Dad, but since she didn't work directly for him, it blew over relatively quickly. All I'm saying is you need to make your intentions clear with her. Whatever it is you want with this girl, just take into account that she will still be punching the clock at Dad's office once you've had your fun with her, alright?"

"Look Em, it's not like that, not this time anyway. I can't explain it. It's just different with her." I shook my head, trying to formulate a somewhat accurate response without completely baring my soul.

Immediately I recalled what I'd confessed to Bella at lunch yesterday. I _was _tired of the monotonous banality of dating. In that moment I'd put down the need to hold a little of myself back, the part that innately made me play things close to the vest. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I felt like I had a hold of something solid and real. I wanted the stereotypical white-picket fence and two-point-five kids with the minivan in upper-middle-class suburbia. I wanted all of those things that seemed ridiculously cliché, only they wouldn't be cliché with _Bella_. Therein laid the difference. Mancard be damned.

"There's more with Bella, I can feel it. Getting my rocks off is not the main objective with her, because you and I both know there are ladies a plenty in the greater Seattle area that would be more than willing to help me out in that endeavor." I paused for a split second to gauge my brother's reaction to my response, which to my astonishment was one of, dare I say, _understanding_? "I want to _earn_ her - if that even makes any sense at all."

"I'm feeling ya, little bruh," Emmett nodded. "I'm glad to hear you say that, too. I mean, damn, we're not getting any younger, right? I don't know about you, but I've sorta been seeing things from a different perspective since Alice and Jasper got married. They're happier than pigs in shit and everything just seems to fit for them. The idea of having someone constant in my world, well, doesn't totally make me want to hurl. I just have to find the lady that is my brand of awesome."

_No one could wax poetic like Emmett. Such a renaissance man, my big brother…_

"Who are you and what have you done with my brother?" I feigned concern, internally ecstatic that my brother and I shared somewhat similar views on the concept of relationship possibilities.

"Aww, come on man, we're bonding here, like having a moment and shit. You know you want to hug it out, baby bruh!" Emmett roared, putting me in a headlock and giving me a noogie, which hurt like hell. Torturing me in annoyingly painful ways was obviously still one of my brother's favorite pastimes.

I kidney punched him, just enough so he would let me go. "By the way, you should really make sure your iPod doesn't fall into the wrong hands. Ask Dad to bust a move for you on Sunday. Seems he's all in da hood these days and down with his bad self. Tell him you want to hear a little 'Pimp Juice' and see what he does. Make sure you record that mess though. It's priceless."

"Are you shitting me?" Emmett boomed, doubled over in laughter.

"No shit, Chet, no shit."

We finished our workout and caught ourselves up on each other's lives, which was nice because sometimes Em and I would go weeks without being able to really talk. Our family had only recently started the ritual of Sunday brunches, my mother deciding a couple of months ago that we needed to have dedicated family time. The brunches just facilitated her need to get all of us together under one roof and get the low down on what we were up to. And because we loved her dearly, we placated and fostered our mother's nosiness.

After Em and I parted ways, I called Bella to get directions to her apartment. Truth be told, I really just wanted to hear her voice, because I could've texted her or sent her an e-mail. I needed just a little something to tide me over until evening. It was like being really, really hungry mid-afternoon, but knowing there was a huge five-course meal for later. A light snack would be just enough to keep the hunger pangs away until you could stuff yourself silly.

As I drove home, painfully aware that I still had a few hours before I picked her up, I focused on what I knew was going to be an incredibly difficult challenge for me. I promised her that I would let her determine the pace at which our relationship moved.

_Relationship, hmmm? I guess that's as good a word as any. _

I hadn't used that particular term in conjunction with a possessive pronoun in the last half-decade, and this was definitely the first time I was willing to put forth the effort in as much time. I meant that I wanted to earn Bella in every way that mattered. Her trust, her heart, her affections, all of it. I wanted to be worthy of her, and if that meant keeping Fast Eddie in check, then so be it. Fast, slow, or at a steady cruise, I would be happy to just sit back and be a passenger, letting Bella steer our course and navigate the way.

Sitting in the parking lot of Bella's apartment building, I second guessed my flower choice for the seven hundredth time in the last half hour. I told the florist what I wanted expressed with a nice bouquet of roses. I didn't want something trite or pedestrian, but I didn't want to freak her out either.

Based on the flower lady's recommendation, I settled on a stunning array of lavender roses and baby's breath. I wasn't sure if Bella would know immediately the meaning behind my choice, but I hoped to convey that she had indeed enchanted me in every way possible. And as beautiful as the roses were, I knew they would pale in comparison to their recipient.

I knocked on the door, wondering if I looked as douchey as I felt or if maybe I appeared chivalrous and romantic. The last time I had bought flowers for a lady, aside from my mother, was a wrist corsage for my high school girlfriend to wear to senior prom, which happened last fucking century. _Damn, was I really getting that old?_

With a _swoosh _the door abruptly opened to reveal a very tall, beautiful and slightly threatening looking blond who looked like she would rip my nads off and grill them up George Foreman style if she were so inclined.

_Ahh, yes, this must be Rose. I don't care what other fucking name you called her, sweet was not an adjective that I would use to describe the Amazon before me, even on a dare._

Glancing behind her I saw a much shorter brunette with glasses, who I deduced was Angela, smiling at me in a very welcoming manner. _So she's the sweet one. _I immediately understood which one would be taking on the role of bad cop tonight.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. I'm Bella's date for this evening," I stated with as much confidence as I could muster while being stared down by Barbie Bad Ass.

"Of course you are," she replied with a wry smile and narrowed eyes. "Please, come on in. Bella will only be a few more minutes."

I followed her inside and settled myself on the couch, as the one I presumed to be Angela had gestured for me to have a seat. Glancing around Bella's modest yet stylish apartment, I noted the warmth and hominess that it exuded. Very inviting and so very Bella. I was no Nate Berkley, or whoever that dude was on Oprah that my mom and Alice always yammered about, as I personally didn't decorate for shit, but this was a very nice set up she had. I made the mental note to ask her if she wanted to add any of her feminine touches to my apartment. _And to anything else of mine for that matter. _

_Yes, even though the horny bastard within had decided to make a brief cameo, I was determined to be full-on gentleman tonight._

"Hi Edward, I'm Angela, and of course, this is Rose. It's very nice to meet you." She grinned at me, trying to fill the slightly awkward silence that filled the room. I reached over and shook her hand, telling her that the pleasure was all mine.

"So, you're Dr. Cullen's youngest son, right?" Angela began with the twenty questions, although I had to acknowledge that her line of questioning was probably less harsh than anything that Rose would want to ask me.

"Yes I am. I have a brother Emmet who is about four years older than me, and a sister, Alice, who is right in between us." I answered honestly, yet all too aware that I needed to tread lightly. I was unsure of just how much Bella had actually divulged to her friends.

"I know Dr. Cullen pretty well. I'm a nurse at Children's and have been assigned to the seventh floor quite a bit over the last year or so," Rose chimed in, having made herself comfortable in the overstuffed chair and propping her feet up on the ottoman. "Ho…um..he's a real class act, your dad. Takes incredible care of the kiddos, a real patient advocate - we respect the hell out of him."

_Well, at least Rose likes my Dad. That was a small step in the right direction. Wonder if I can parlay that into her being 'pro-me'?_

"That's really nice of you to say, Rose. He's really dedicated to his patients. He saw that same commitment in Bella, which is why he wanted her to join his practice. She keeps him in line, that's for sure."

"Speaking of our fair Bella, I wonder what is taking her so long." Angela glanced down the hallway for signs of my date. "Maybe I should check on her, make sure she didn't mix up the eye and lip liner again."

"Let's just give her a few more minutes, okay Ang? Besides, I want to have a little heart-to-heart with Professor Spin God here."

_Uh-oh. Professor Spin God? This cannot be good. Please Big Guy, if you're listening, please, please don't let Bella own a George Foreman Grill..._

"Rose, come on, don't start," Angela whispered. "Bella will flip out if you bust his balls."

"No she won't, because Edward here isn't going to say shit, are you Edward?" I shook my head in compliance and fought the urge to protect my nuts.

She continued, eyeing me up and down in the process. "Good boy. Now, I know I don't need to reiterate what a magnificently heart-stopping woman my bestie is, do I? Of course I don't. I love Bella more than my Jimmy Choo's, and I will not hesitate to wield my five-inch-peep-toe-slingbacks in a deadly fashion if necessary. It's very simple: you make her cry, you deal with me. I promise you I can be every bit as frightening as Chief Swan with a double-barrel. Treat her like the treasure she is and we will have zero problems. Capice?"

Severely stunned, I took a brief pause and nodded to let Rose know I understood every word. "Rose, Angela, let me assure you both that I have nothing but the most honorable of intentions where Bella is concerned. She is without question one of the most beautiful and amazing women I have ever met, and believe me when I say the blessing of having her in my life is not lost on me. I guarantee that we are all on the same page. Her happiness is a top priority and I will do my level best to bring her as much of it as possible."

"Well said, Edward. Rose doesn't mean to come off so barbaric,"Angela began.

"Oh yes I do."

"Rose, shut it," Angela snapped. "Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? Oh, yes, what I was trying to say was that you've really put a smile on Bella's face and we're in your corner. That's all."

"Thank you for that. Let me tell you both, the grin that has been affixed to my face since I met Bella is all her doing. It also makes me very happy that she has you two looking out for her, I truly mean that. She's very lucky to have you ladies."

It was then that I heard footsteps approaching as Bella made her way into the living room. She rounded the corner and then….

_Wow._

I couldn't find the proper words to describe the vision that stood before me. Breathtaking and ravishing would have been a gross understatement. I don't know if that sexy-as-all-get-out black dress belonged to her, or who the designer was, but sweet lord, I needed to send someone a fruit basket for putting her in that thing. The way it caressed her delicate curves and the plunging neckline were going to force someone to write my eulogy. Clearly, I'd been "little-black-dressed" and no doubt fantasies of me peeling that bad boy off were being filed in the spank bank.

And then it occurred to me that I might have to throw one of those berkas or a hazmat uniform on her to keep the other horny bastards, and horny bitches for that matter, from staring too long at what was mine.

_Possessive much, Cullen?_ Normally, I liked the fact that other men gawked at my dates, because I knew who was tapping things at the end of the night. Conversely, the thought of anyone eyefucking Bella made me want to scrape out said party's occipital lobes with a salad fork.

Flowers in hand, I crossed the room to her in about 1.24 seconds flat.

Where I was going to find the intestinal fortitude to keep my fucking hands to myself and my dick in my pants I had no clue. I had told Bella that she was in control, and horny bastard be damned, I would honor my word. But…

_Fuck me._

* * *

**BPOV**

_Fuck me._

I'd given myself about ten thousand "atta girls" before I walked into the living room where I knew he was waiting for me. I even paused for a second to get my head in the game. In the midst of harnessing my chi, I caught the tail end of Rose's verbal beat down, which made me want to run in there, nuzzle Edward's head in my bosoms and tell him I'd protect him from the Wicked Rose of the West. But then I heard his response.

My happiness was his top priority? Seriously? Sometimes my happiness wasn't even _my own _top priority, so naturally I was taken aback to hear Edward say such a thing. Whether or not he said that just to win my friends over remained to be seen, but the eternal optimist in me told the jaded skeptic who shared residence to have a glass of shut the hell up and take the night off.

When I rounded the corner and my eyes caught sight of him, I thought I might liquefy right then and there. My insides turned gelatinous and my knees went shaky. I couldn't even register my own heartbeat as it alternated between racing and a dead halt. I thanked the Almighty that Rose was certified in CPR as it might be necessary.

He looked downright sinful in the black slacks, steel grey dress shirt and black sport coat ensemble he had chosen to wear. Two words immediately came to my mind: yummy and slurp. In fact, if I hadn't known what decade Edward was born in, I would say Millie Small was serenading him while she sang 'My Boy Lollipop.' He was absolutely sweet as candy and sure made my heart go giddyup.

Edward stood up as I entered the room, his heavenly scent infiltrating the air, almost making me dizzy and driving me absolutely insane. He had the most wonderful smell of sage and sandalwood with just a trace of mint. It was an intoxicatingly comforting aroma that I wanted to deluge my olfactory senses with on a daily basis.

"Hey you," he said softly, wearing that asymmetrical grin that gave me the warm fuzzies.

"Hey yourself."

"Do you have idea how gorgeous you are? I'm almost afraid to touch you for fear I might damage perfection." He leaned down, his mouth dangerously close to my ear, and whispered so low only I could hear. _"Almost."_

Which made me fucking shudder and break out in goose bumps.

I stepped back slightly and noticed the most beautiful bouquet of lavender roses clutched in his fist. "Are those for me?" I inquired and gestured to the bundle of fragrant flowers.

"But of course they are, sweetness."

"They're so lovely. Thank you Edward," I inhaled deeply, savoring their lustrous scent.

"You're most welcome. I'm glad you like them."

"Let me just put them in some water, grab my wrap and we can go, okay?"

"Here, let me do that for you," Angela said as she walked into my kitchen to grab a vase. "That way you two can go ahead and skedaddle."

"Uh, okay, thanks Ang. You guys will lock up for me, yeah?"

"Sure thing, Swan. We gotcha covered. Remember, dinner and drinks tomorrow night," Rose reminded, getting up from the chair so she could see us out.

Angela emerged from the kitchen, having meticulously arranged my roses, and sat them on the coffee table. I went over to give her a hug and thank her profusely for all of her help. That's when I saw Rose make that weird 'I've got my eyes on you' gesture at Edward and speaking those very words at a hushed volume that I clearly was not meant to hear. What was even more mortifying was her slip and call him 'HBJ', obviously her pet name for my could-be-boyfriend.

"What the hell, Rose?" I yelped, wide-eyed and shocked that she would do something like that, even if it was an accident.

At the very same time, Edward's puzzled expression shifted from me to Rose, and he finally asked, "What does HBJ stand for?"

I stood there, mouth agape, wondering how I was going to answer his question without opening up a can of worms that needed to be left at the damn bait shop.

Rose, not blanching in the least or missing a beat, snorted, "Hella Big Johnson."

_Oh. No. She. Didn't._

But she did, and suddenly I kicked into self-preservation mode, grabbing Edward by the arm and dragging him out of my apartment. Behind the closed door I could hear the muffled sounds of Rose's giggling accompanied by Angela's gasps, and I focused putting my jewely-toe-thingy-Stuart Weitzman-covered feet one in front of the other, wondering how in the bloody hell I was going to get out of this one….

I think I might have said a total of five words on the way to the restaurant. Maybe. I did know that they were all monosyllabic and only uttered in response to a question Edward asked, and thank fuck those questions didn't address the fuckery of his nickname, whether the given explanation for the acronym was correct or not. It didn't matter, because the truth was equally as bad as the misdirection. The truth would mean divulging his dad's (and my boss for that matter) very appropriately inappropriate nickname and the other meant that I had discussed at length (pun intended thank you) the juicy details of his schlong.

We pulled up to the very classy, very fancy Canlis, leaving the Rover with the valet. I'd never had the occasion to dine in such a fancy place and suddenly wished I had read more Miss Manners or Dear Abby so I would know which fork to use first. Then I remembered I had seen _Pretty Woman_ enough times to know that Barney said to just count the tines. Easy as pie, right?

Edward greeted the maitre de, giving him his name, stating that we had a reservation at seven-thirty. "Ah, yes, Mr. Cullen. We have your table ready in the Cache room. Sir, madam, if you would follow me please."

We were led through the most elegant dining room I'd ever seen. The stone columns and glass walls overlooking the lush Seattle landscape was absolutely breathtaking. Beautiful lithographs, ornate door handles, exquisite glassworks and light fixtures created a majestic ambiance. To say I felt like a princess should sound inane, but it didn't. I had never been made to feel this special before on a date.

Arm in arm, Edward and I followed the maitre d to a secluded part of the restaurant. What I didn't realize was that the Cache room was a special treetop nook with a view of Lake Union and the surrounding Cascades. There was but a single table within the small niche, everything warmly lit with candles.

I walked over to the picturesque window view, amazed at the beauty before me. The twinkling lights of the city reflected and danced on the lake's mirrored surface. Thankful that it was such a beautiful night and for once not raining, I tried to pick out familiar landmarks, looking for my apartment building, the hospital and the office building where I worked.

I had never really thought of the Washington landscape as beautiful before, as it rained so much of the time. I thought back to when I had first moved from Phoenix so many years ago and how disappointed I initially was with my surroundings. I had been used to warm and rustic earth tones, and despite my fair complexion, I loved the southwestern sunshine. Up until now, I believed that an Arizona sunset emblazoned with rich oranges and pinks was the most mesmerizing sight ever; however, the view before me was forcing me to reconsider my opinion.

"So, what's the verdict, sweetness? Do you like it?" I felt Edward come and stand behind me, his arms encircling my waist and once again his beautiful lips a hair's breadth away from my ear. The sensation of his warm breath tickling my skin and his body heat wrapped around me made my insides dance and my heart race. I snuggled myself deeper against him, relishing in the way we _just fit_.

"It's perfect Edward," I confessed. "I've never seen anything so incredibly beautiful in my life." I inhaled the mouth-watering aroma of not only the food being prepared in the kitchen, but the tantalizing scent of the gorgeous man behind me. Truthfully, perfect wasn't a strong enough word to describe things accurately.

"I completely agree Ms. Swan," Edward whispered as he turned me around to face him, cupping my face in his hands. Leaning down, he softly placed his lips just barely against my own and murmured, "Those are my exact sentiments. I've never seen anything so incredibly beautiful in my life either. But I'm not talking about the view on the other side of the glass. I'm referring to the resplendent view in my arms."

_Can't. Think. Can't. Breathe.  
_

Ever so gently, Edward kissed me slow and sweet, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. I wound my arms around his waist, enfolding my body into his, completely lost in the way that our lips moved in blissful syncopation. His hands moved to the back of my neck, underneath my hair, mine sliding under his sport coat latching on to his shoulder blades.

I felt his tongue slide smoothly over my lower lip, his silent request for me to open up to him. _Why yes, I think I will. _Our lips parted, our tongues ardently entwined. My breath began to quicken. His hands slid from my neck to my shoulders, finally resting on my back and almost concurrently we both pulled, one to the other, as close as possible, yet somehow not close enough.

_It would never be close enough…_

The distinct and clear sound of someone's throat clearing reminded us that we were not alone, pulling us from the private cocoon we had tucked ourselves in. Breaking our lip lock, Edward turned around to see who was trying to get our attention. Standing at the entrance of the room was an older, distinguished looking man with a sly grin etched on his face.

"Good evening to you sir and madam, my name is Stefan. I will be your server tonight. I trust you have not had the opportunity to peruse the wine list or the menu, no?" He spoke in what sounded like a Romanian accent.

"No, sir, I'm sorry we have not. Perhaps we could have a few minutes to look things over?" Edward asked somewhat sheepishly, almost like a child that was trying to sneak dessert before dinner.

"Please, take your time. I shall come back around shortly to see if you have made any decisions. I assure you, there's no rush," he said before bowing his head and exiting the room.

Because the wine list was so extensive, we decided it best to choose what to eat and select the wine accordingly. Had we tackled the wine list first, we could have been there for hours given the fact it was over one hundred pages long. Everything on the menu sounded so divine, we thought it best to go with something tried and true like steak.

_Heh. Momma does love the meat. _

Stefan returned and Edward gave him our order. After telling us that he would be right back with our bottle of wine, Stefan once again gave a courteous bow before departing. Only this time I noticed he gave Edward a slight nod.

Edward took my hand. "How about we go have a seat on the chaise? Or there's a telescope in here. Want to see what's out there? Maybe we can find some interesting people to spy on."

"Why Mr. Cullen, I didn't realize voyeurism was your thing."

"I'm surprised. Surely you noticed me noticing you in class before I finally cornered you in the sauna two days ago," he said with a mischievous smile, leading me over to the chaise sofa so we could sit down.

Had it really only been two days? It truly boggled my mind because it felt like so much longer. Not only had there been such a physical rush, but the onslaught of emotions I had processed over the last forty-eight hours made me realize the strides I had taken in such a short time.

"Uh, no I didn't," I said rather matter-of-factly, "because I don't buy for a minute that you were noticing me."

"Well, then you are dreadfully unobservant," he said, his emerald gaze hypnotizing me. "Trust me, you've definitely had my attention for awhile now, and you didn't made things easy either, always sitting in the damn corner. By the way, you will now be sitting on the bike directly in front of me as you are now officially teacher's pet, just so you know."

"Assuming that I'm even coming back to your class, why would I give up my favorite bike? And furthermore, what about Betty McSpandex that has her derrière parked front and center every Wednesday? I'm pretty sure she'll try and draw blood if I take her spot."

"Well, Betty McSpandex, and any other Lycra-covered lady, will just have to get over it. I want you right in front of me from now on. Professor Spin God has spoken," Edward spoke with mock authority.

"Hmm, I make no promises _Professor Spin God_. You'll have to do some pretty impressive to persuade me to relinquish my spot. I'm really attached to it."

Edward reached down and picked up my hand, placing it first on his cheek and then, turning his face to my hand, he lightly kissed my palm. "You, me and a bottle of wine says that not only will you gladly give up the aforementioned spot in question, but will likely have found something much more fun to be attached to."

_I'm lowering the force fields. Resistance is futile…._

Hearing approaching footsteps, Edward and I turned to see Stefan bring in the bottle of wine. Edward met him at the table, where Stefan uncorked what may very well be the equivalent of sodium pentothal where I was concerned. Stefan poured just enough for Edward to take a sip and swirl in his mouth for approval. Was it complete and utter lunacy for me to jealous of a sip of wine right now? I chose not to answer myself on that one…

Edward nodded that he was pleased with the selection so Stefan could pour wine for the both of us. After doing so, Stefan informed us that our main course would be soon be served. Before Edward came back to chaise, he whispered something in the man's ear, at which he nodded and smiled with a reply of, "Yes my good sir, consider it done."

"So, whatever shall we do to pass the time while we wait for our food?" Edward pondered as he reclaimed his spot next to me on the chaise and handed me a glass of wine.

"Wow, this is really good," I said, taking a drink. "As far as passing the time, is our conversation not stimulating enough for you?"

"On the contrary, I find everything I do with you _stimulating _Ms. Swan. I simply thought perhaps you might indulge me with a bit of dancing before we eat."

"But there's no music in here to…." I started to say, but stopped short just as an orchestral melody filled the room.

"Ahh but there is. Will you do me the honor?"

_As if I would refuse this man anything right now…_

Leading me over to a space in front of the window, he placed one hand around my waist at the small of my back and took me in just slightly closer than the traditional closed dance position. Our bodies moved in time to the classic version of 'The Way You Look Tonight' by none other than 'Ol Blue Eyes himself, which just happened to be my favorite.

Completely enveloping me in his embrace, traditional closed dance position all but forgotten, Edward started singing faintly in my ear, so soft it was barely above a whisper.

_Some day, when I'm awfully low,  
When the world is cold,  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...  
And the way you look tonight._

_Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm  
And your cheeks so soft,  
There is nothing for me but to love you,  
And the way you look tonight._

Being in Edward's arms as he sang to me was deadly and lethal to my barely-there-resolve, and it took every ounce of discipline I had not to take full advantage of the chaise and have my way with him. I also didn't want to jeopardize our perfect evening by having to arrange bail money for being arrested for public indecency and lewd behavior. That would not have gone over well with Chief Swan at fucking all.

Fighting the good fight, I closed my eyes and lost myself in the splendor of being with Edward like this. I had never felt so swept away in my entire life. It almost seemed criminal, this euphoria that his touch brought to my soul. The reaction I had to him was just as spiritual as it was physical and engulfed every part of me.

I wondered where he learned to dance and if there was anything on the planet that he didn't do well. He told me that his sister owned her own dance studio and his entire family had been her guinea pig at some point in time while she was in training. As it turned out, Alice was the director to the Seattle Seahawks cheerleaders. Sometimes she got free tickets, and Edward asked if I might like to go to a game when football season started up again. Honestly, I'd go to a chess tournament or watch ping-pong if it meant being with him.

We continued dancing, talking and learning more about each other. It made our conversation so much more intimate and heartfelt being wrapped in each other's hold. I was about to suggest that any and all discussions between us be held in this fashion when our dinner finally arrived. True enough I was hungry for food, but the pang that I currently experienced stemmed from our broken embrace.

We made our way over to the table to nourish ourselves, not only with the delicious meal, but with each other. Laughing and talking, sharing stories from our childhoods, I was beginning to trust that Edward truly wanted something substantial with me, and that we had started to build an emotional foundation to support the physical structure already in place. Edward had told me at lunch that he wanted to fall in love, to give his heart and soul and make someone his forever. Since he had made that confession, I had been sending silent prayers to the heavens that I was the one to fill his desires, in hopes that they would be answered sooner rather than later.

"So, it's still kind of early. Did you want to come in and watch a movie or something?" I asked, not wanting the most incredible night of my life to end so soon.

"That sounds great. I, uh, I have my gym bag in my car. Would it make you uncomfortable for me to change out of these stuffy clothes?"

_You're seriously asking if I mind you lessening the amount of garments covering your insanely chiseled body. Uh, that would be a hellfuckingno._

"Not at all. As long as you don't mind if I slob out myself."

"I seriously doubt that there is any article of clothing that could make you look like a slob Bella."

"Yeah, right, you'd be surprised," I nervously chuckled, trying to laugh off his compliment. Certain that I was a nice shade of magenta by now, I was thankful that it was very dark and perhaps not noticed.

Edward grabbed his gym bag and we made our way to my apartment. I told him that he could change in the bathroom if he liked, leaving me to use my bedroom. It did not escape me for a nanosecond that only lumber and thin drywall would be separating me from Professor Hotpants in a varying stage of undress. Next time I had to choose a superpower or magical attribute, I would remember this moment and go with a different answer. Screw Harry Potter's cloak, I would choose Superman's x-ray vision hands down.

Focusing myself on the task at hand, I undressed out of my princess get-up and grabbed my favorite flannel sleep pants and Blink-182 t-shirt. Even though they had gone through a brief break-up, they were still my favorite band ever. I'd been having a one-sided love affair in my head with the bass player, Mark Hoppus, for the last ten years, but the emergence of one Edward Anthony Cullen in my life suddenly had me thinking _Mark who?_

After clipping my hair up in a half-assed attempt at a twisty up-do, I made my way over to the shelf where I kept my DVDs to try to figure out what to watch. I didn't know Edward's taste in movies, but I knew for certain I was not about to asswhip him into some romcom. I was deep in thought, wondering if he would go for an action flick, or maybe a suspense thriller, when I _felt _him enter the living room.

He stood behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder and placing his hands on my hips. _Again with the electricity thing. Does that ever cease, or will the sensation always be there because I really kind of dig it…_

"So, what kind of flick are you in the mood for this evening, Ms. Swan?"

"Well, I was thinking that since you're the guest, I'd let you pick it, Mr. Cullen," I replied, totally failing at my attempt to keep the goofiest grin in the history of upturned corners of mouths from befalling my face.

"Okay then, Kill Bill sounds good to me. Is that alright with you?"

"Oh I can always go for a little Hattori Hanzo action," I replied turning to face Edward.

And then I completely lost all train of thought when my eyes took in the sight of what Edward had chosen to get comfortable in. Clad in a sleeveless, worn out A-Rod Mariner's jersey and basketball shorts, he looked damned gulptastic in what would've made any other Joe Blow appear totally destitute.

I looked at him, Merriam Webster's illustration for the word flawless, and then it hit me like Smokin' Joe: I was calling the shots. How fast or slow we took this thing was my decision, and the driver wanted to make out. As silly as it sounded, I wanted to mug down hardcore with my very-nearly-significant-other.

Possessed with the same bravery I had found in the sauna approximately forty-eight hours ago, I tossed the movie on the floor, Beatrix Kiddo and the whole Death List Five no longer a part of my plans. "Can I ask you a question Edward?" He nodded, obviously wondering what was going on since movie time was apparently on hold. "When was the last time you were properly macked on?"

"Wow. That's a tough one." He paused, actually trying to recall such a thing. It was really a rhetorical question, but it was amusing to see him attempt to come up with an answer. "Freshman year in college, Winter Formal I guess."

"Well, I'd say it's been to long then. Perhaps we should remedy that."

I brought his lips to mine with a tempered fervor, slow and languid. Our mouths melded together, tongues dancing and caressing. His kisses were intoxicating and I grew more inebriated by the second. This would be one hangover I would not regret.

I moved forward, gently coaxing him over to the double-wide overstuffed chair and pulled him down to sit with me. Resting our feet on the ottoman, we broke the kiss long enough to position ourselves so that we were face to face. Edward caressed my cheek, delicately stroking it as we resumed our make out session.

Edward trailed kisses along my neck, along my collar bones, tenderly licking and sucking my skin. Like warm and soothing water droplets from the most relaxing shower, his kisses streamed over my flesh, leaving tingles in their wake and rippling through my body. Legs entangled and hands caressed, learning the planes and lines of the other's body.

There were delicate moans and softly spoken 'aaahhhs' and the way he traced my mouth with his tongue was perhaps one the most titillating sensations I'd ever experienced. Our breaths remained steadfast, in harmony with each nuzzle and stroke.

_Sucking face is tragically underrated, especially when it has been developed into an art form, as Professor Hotpants with the mystical tongue had clearly achieved._

Not realizing how much time had passed, we were both taken aback that it was well past midnight.

And as badly as he didn't want to, he knew he needed to go home if slow and steady was going to win the race. He gathered his things and I walked him to the door.

"Bella, I want to see you again Sunday if you're free. My family has this standing thing on Sundays, brunch at my parent's house. Would you come with me and meet the rest of the group?"

"I'd like that very much Edward. It sounds like fun."

"Great. I have an appointment with a grad student in the morning, but I could swing by and pick you up around ten-thirty. Sound okay?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"You know, I had really lost all appreciation in "getting macked on" as you called it. Thank you for reminding me just how incredible it can be, although I'm sorry you missed out on the Hattori Hanzo action." He smirked as he took me in his arms, resting his forehead against mine.

"That's quite alright. I'll take Edward Cullen action any day of the week and twice on Sunday, thank you very much," I giggled.

"Important to know. By the way, do ever plan on divulging where 'HBJ' came from?"

"I'll make a deal with you: I'll come clean on what 'HBJ' stands for when we tell your Dad that he's not eHarmony, alrighty?"

"Fair enough Bella, fair enough." He smiled, bending down to kiss me good bye. "Good night sweetness. Pleasant dreams, okay? Maybe have me in a few of them?"

"Oh I think that's a definite possibility. Good night, Edward."

With one final kiss, he gave me a gentle squeeze before leaving.

I couldn't help but replay every detail of what had truly been the perfect evening in my mind. I hugged myself as the bliss washed over me, the exhilaration coursing through my system.

And although I'd wanted to tap the brakes and slow down, which Edward respected, I was starting to think it would be alright to accelerate just a little …

* * *

A/N#2: And who says chivalry is dead?

Anywhosie, wanted to clarify the Heather Mooney reference. She's a character from "Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion" brilliantly played by Janeane Garofalo.

Canlis is a real restaurant in Seattle. Link is on my profile. I also added links to Bella's snazzy get up.

Props again to my beta momma **juliebee **for cleaning up my mess and dealing with my neurotic ass. As always, gracias to my PM and Texas chica **RoseArcadia **for being my personal valium.

Thank you to everyone who has my little ditty on alert and finds my silliness entertaining. Merci beau coup to those who have pimped me out in some way, that is truly humbling. Ear nibbles to everyone that has left me love – I get goofy stupid reading the nuggets of goodness.

Until next time! *noms*


	5. Chapter 5 Speeding Up to Slow Down

**Disclaimer: Still rated M. Don't make me card you. I own the same first name, just one vowel's difference in the spelling. I however, didn't have a dream about a sparkly boy in a meadow, so I don't own the goods. I just like to play Ken and Barbie with 'em.**

**Chapter 5 – Speeding Up to Slow Down **

** BPOV **

To stalk or not to stalk, that was the question. It was five o'clock on a damn Sunday morning, and I was looking at an online map of U-dub, trying to figure out where in all hell Edward's office was located. I had never, ever before taken this sort of initiative in pursuing someone. Behavior such as this was so out of character for me; everything about Edward made me want to take risks, to be saucy and fearless, without making Edward look into securing a restraining order, of course.

Everything about our relationship, or courtship, or whatever was developing between us, was so bassackwards from how I normally acted when dating someone. Garrett had been a perfect example; we had been friends first before the attraction developed. Then, when I felt like there was something substantial to build on, we took the next step with physical intimacy. The lack of fireworks in the bedroom brought to light that we were better off as friends; however, it had been an amicable parting of ways. It really said something about that relationship that I wasn't all that broken up about it ending.

Everything with Edward had started off so fast. I didn't regret anything that had happened, not one iota. I was just in uncharted relationship territory and sure as hell didn't want to do anything that might screw up the direction in which we were headed. Despite the fact that our involvement had been approximately three days, eight hours and thirty minutes (yes I'm fucking counting and refuse to apologize for it), emotions and desires had manifested so much earlier than normal.

Last night over dinner and drinks, light on the dinner and heavy on the drinks, mind you, Frick and Frack decided I should surprise Edward at the school instead of waiting for him to pick me up. I swear to Thomas Edison I saw light bulbs in the floaty thought clouds appear over their heads almost simultaneously as the idea popped into their brains.

As they expected, I spilled every last luscious detail on what had been the most romantic date of my entire life. With each aspect I described, from the beautiful restaurant with the dynamic view and the impromptu dancing to the fantastic conversation and the most fabulous game of tonsil hockey ever, I received the appropriate "oohs" and "ahhs" from Rose and Angela.

The fact that Rose was thoroughly impressed, given her less-than-receptive attitude toward Edward, shocked the hell out of me. I knew she was being hard on him, but it was only because she cared. She and Angela were both fiercely loyal, their unwavering support manifesting in different ways. My happiness was what mattered to them, so Rose would remove, with brute force if necessary, whatever stood in the way of it. Likewise, both would encourage what fostered it; Angela always with a smile on her face and a nurturing squeeze.

Once we had consumed a few adult beverages, I told them I was beginning to feel I could trust Edward's motives. He had arranged a date of that magnitude with the understanding that we would not be getting busy at the end of the night, which really said a lot about Edward's character. I knew all too well the vast majority of asshats out there that wouldn't even buy a 99-cent burrito at Taco Hell without the prospect of some sort of ugly-bumpin'. So, for Edward to pull out all the stops and sweep me ass-end up, well, even Rose had to give him props for that one.

As the night wore on and the River o'Booze flowed, I confessed to the girls I was ready to move things along a little. Not that I was ready to knock one out of the park or anything, not just yet anyway. I was, however, thinking that rounding a few bases was an excellent idea.

So, three Colorado Bulldogs, two White Russians and a round of Buttery Nipples later (the last one ordered by Rose of course), the declaration that I _needed _to surprise Edward at the school before he picked me up was issued. Oh, and while I was in his office, I should lock the door and give him head.

Approximately six hours ago, while liquid courage coursed through my veins that seemed like an excellent Modus Operandi. Now, I was wondering why I even entertained such a notion.

_Because HBJ's hella big johnson was also some hella beautiful junk. That seriously needed some attention. _

_Have you always been such a twit Bella, or is that a recent development?_

And so, a few hours after having long and meaningful conversations with myself, I decided, why the hell not? Studies showed that guys still liked their dicks sucked, so I really couldn't imagine Edward turning down attention of the oral variety, especially if such oral attention was being offered in said party's office of gainful employment. Semi-public as the location was, at least it involved a door with a lock, which was progress for us.

Normally, I didn't really have a strong opinion on the art or activity of fellatio. I didn't mind giving head, and if I liked the guy enough, had no problem capitulating. It was certainly not an activity I sought out to participate in, but would do so if asked.

The fact I actually wanted to suck Edward's dick, with no solicitation on his part, told me a lot about my feelings for him. Just thinking about wrapping my lips around his HBJ, seeing him alight with ecstasy as he came, got me all in a tizzy. The mere thought of seeing him lose himself, completely undone made my body tingle, and heaven only knew what it would do to me when it happened for real. I had never felt that way up until now.

Besides, distracting myself with visions of seeing Edward's "o" face while I sucked him off and made him scream my name somehow calmed my nerves at the prospect of meeting the rest of his family. I knew I had Carlisle's approval, but I didn't _really _know Esme, other than having talked to her a few times on the phone. She was extremely kind and sweet, but that was when she was talking to the Bella that was simply her husband's employee. Esme would be meeting the Bella that eventually wanted to ride her son like a well-oiled Schwinn and hopefully, maybe one day in the not-so-distant future, birth the babies that would call her Granny, or MeeMaw, or whatever name she came up with.

Mix in a little Alice (who actually was on the petite side from what I gathered), a dash of brother-in-law Jasper, and a heaping helping of big brother Emmett (a term that was spot-on from the sound of it), and I would soon be the parsley-side-garnish to the Cullen Sunday Brunch Casserole. _Was it just my irritating subconscious, or did I really just compare myself to a dish decoration that was not really attractive, had no nutritional value, and served no real purpose other than to take up space on a plate? I'll just go ahead and plead the fifth on that one as answering it does nothing for my jitters…_

I delved into my closet, desperately hoping to find something that said 'I-am-so-in-like-with-you-its-ridiculous-so-I'd-like-to-pleasure-your-ginormous-pecker-before-I-have-brunch-with-my-conceivably-future-in-laws' and came up empty. I was about to give up all hope when I noticed a stack of clothes that weren't mine.

_Oh fair Rose, if you were here right now, I'd totally kiss you._

Relief and excitement flooded my system as I grabbed the most beautiful burgundy scoop-necked cashmere sweater that looked perfect with my skinny jeans and ballet flats. Amazing how something as simple as picking the right outfit had changed my perspective on the situation at hand. My inner three-year old was jumping around squealing _I a big girl! I get dress aw by mysef!_

Doing my best to replicate the look that obviously did a little something for Edward, I finished getting ready, trying not to look like a two-dollar whore desperate to meet her quota. Despite the fact that my eighty-proof fluidic confidence had long left my system, I was determined to be the 'little seductress that could'. Mental reassurances on the loop in my brain, I prepared myself to increase my speed, hoping that Edward would be pleased with some acceleration.

I stood just inside the entrance of the Health and Sciences Building without a clue where to begin my search for Edward's office. I looked around aimlessly, hoping to find a directory or something that might point me in the right direction. So much for milling about smartly.

Finally, some lady, I had no idea whether or not she was a teacher or student, asked if I was lost and needed help. Thanking the patron saint over the directionally challenged, I told her I was looking for Professor Cullen's office; I almost slipped and referred to him as Professor Hot Pants.

I followed the kind lady's directions and, after what could have been a few minutes or a few hours, I found myself in front of the office belonging to one Professor Edward A. Cullen, PhD. I could hear muffled voices coming from inside and surmised that his meeting was still in progress. I moved closer to the door to get a better listen. _What I wouldn't give for some extendable ears or at least a tin can right now…_

Sounds of sudden movement sprang forth and I heard footsteps moving toward the door. I turned and bolted like hell, running to a set of table and chairs across the hallway, in serious debt to the Trinity that I didn't bust my ass. That shit would have been embarrassing. I grabbed a newspaper that had been discarded and sat down, flinging it in front of my face to stay inconspicuous, just in time to hear Edward's door open.

"So Jessica, just let me know when you've decided where you want to do your clinicals so I can call and get things set up, okay?"

"Yes Professor Cullen, I sure will. Thank you so much for all of your help and suggestions. You really gave me a lot to think about deciding between a hospital setting and an independent clinic." I couldn't help but notice the way this Jessica wench sort of cooed when she spoke to him. It took every bit of constraint I could muster not to fly over there and rip her hair out of her fucking head.

_Get a grip Swan. She is just his student. No blood, no foul. Remember, no restraining orders today, okay? Deep calming breaths, deep calming breaths…_

He told her goodbye, went back into his office, and closed the door. I folded the paper down slightly to get a good look at the hoebag attached to the giggly, annoying as fuck voice. I suppose she was cute, in a very chipmunk-woodland-creature sort of way. If you went for the type that looked like they foraged for nuts.

Oblivious to my death-ray stare, she paid me no mind as she rounded the corner and went on her merry way. I counted to ten, telling the psycho hose beast within to get back into her cage. I had to get my scene under control pronto.

As I readied myself to make my move, my phone buzzed, indicating that a text had just arrived. _If this is Renee, so help me, I am getting a new phone with a private number. That woman and her radar; it's almost like she knows I'm about to be a bad girl…_

But the message wasn't from my mom. It was from Edward.

**Hey Sweetness. I just finished my meeting. Just have a few more things to wrap up & I'll be on my way. I've missed you – E**

**Hey yourself. I'm ready when you are. See you very soon. Missed you too – B**

It was now or never. I could turn tail and run, head straight to my apartment with Edward none the wiser. Or, I could cowgirl up and do what I came here to do.

So I did.

I knocked on his office door, just loud enough to announce myself, and was met with a faint, "It's open". I carefully opened the door to find Edward with his back turned, rifling in a file cabinet behind his desk. "Just a minute, please. I'll be right with you."

I slipped inside his office, as quietly as possible. Looking around, I noticed his space was sort of a controlled chaos. Books were in shelves, where they were supposed to be; however, they were sort of stacked in a haphazard manner, not lined up with the spines visible. Seattle Mariner pennants hung on the wall, along with a couple of Lance Armstrong Tour de France posters, as well as Edward's framed credentials. Papers and file folders covered his desk, along with A-Rod and Ichiro Suzuki bobbleheads.

_So he's a big Mariners' fan. Well, at least he and Charlie will have that in common. _

Gently shutting the door, I locked it with nary a click. "No problem, Professor. I'd like to speak to you about my grade. I don't mind waiting," I said in the sultriest voice I could summon without laughing at myself. It was a bona fide attempt to sound sexy, and I'd hoped I didn't sound as ridiculous out loud as I did in my head.

Closing whatever file his nose was buried in he said, "You really need to set up an appointment. I'm on my way out and…" By the look of surprise on his face when he finally turned around, you would think I had balloons in one hand, a fat check in the other, and was decked out in Prize Patrol gear. It was priceless.

"Bella, what… what are you doing here? I just… sent the…. you replied ba... I'm sorry, I'm just..." he rambled, seemingly a tad befuddled.

"Upset? Confused? I'm sorry; I should've stuck to the plans and waited for you to come pick me up."

"Don't be silly, Bella. I'm just surprised to see you here." He hit me with the smile that made my mouth water.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed again, indicating that he had received another incoming text. Picking up his phone and reading the message, he ran his other hand erratically through his hair, leaving it disheveled as he let out a frustrated rumbling sound.

"Is something wrong?" I questioned, wondering what would cause such an odd reaction to a simple text.

"No, nothing to worry about. Just a situation I was hoping would go away if I ignored it, that's all." He crooked his finger and motioned for me to come closer.

"So, I surprised you then?' I said, smiling and walked over to where he stood behind his desk. "Good surprised or annoyed surprised?"

"Good is the only kind of surprise there is when you're involved Ms. Swan." Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his face in my neck. "To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"I said I needed to talk to you about my grade, Professor Cullen."

_Oh, please play along so I don't feel like such a hapless tool._

"Well Ms. Swan, I don't negotiate grades, they are earned. Of course, we can always discuss extra credit if you wish."

_Yessss! He wants to play-ay! He wants to play-ay!_

"Why of course Professor Cullen, I fully intend to earn my grade," my reply dripped with innuendo. "I don't think you understand how dedicated I am. I have never been one to shy away from work just because it's _hard_."

_Well, hello there Edward's weapon of mass destruction. So nice of you to pop up and say hi. We are about to get reacquainted, you and I._

I took his hand in mine, brought it to my eager lips, and kissed his palm. Edward's eyes, suddenly looking a little glazed over, darted to my mouth, and I knew with certainty that now was the time to give things a boost.

I placed a tender kiss on the tip of his index finger, somewhat of an echo of his evocative actions from our lunch date only days earlier. However, the affectionate smile on his face morphed, his mouth agape, as I put his finger in my mouth and _slowly_ sucked all the way from knuckle to fingertip.

I could definitely tell from the expression on his face that Edward hadn't the slightest clue where this was going, but clearly had no objections whatsoever to my actions. I pulled him to me, my lips only barely in contact with his, and whispered, "I remember being given the wheel in this journey. I think it's about time to get out of the slow lane and cover some ground."

Before he could respond, I engulfed his mouth with my own, putting all of the desire I had to move forward into our exchange. I nibbled on his lips, wrapped my arms around his neck, and held on for dear life. Everything within me telegraphed the message that I was ready, swift propulsion my desired objective.

"Unnff," the sound of slightly conflicted pleasure resounded against my lips. "Bella, I d-don't want to rush y-yo…"

"I thought I was the one in control here, Professor. I seem to recall a comment a certain someone made recently about following my pace. There are no backseat drivers on this voyage. So, if you would very kindly shush and let me earn my marks…"

With that declaration, Edward did just that. With every swirl of the tongue and 'unnng' that was rumbled, my resolution became fortified in the tenacity that had overtaken my inhibitions.

I nudged him backward, towards the high-backed leather chair behind his desk, and tried to keep our feet separated as our bodies jostled. Our kiss never even came close to breaking. My slight push on his shoulders gave Edward the silent order to take a seat. I followed his downward dissension, my knees taking residence on either side of his hips.

_Straddling had absolutely become my new favorite thing. I did say I needed to cowgirl up didn't I?_

Edward's hands gently cupped and squeezed my ass. My own hands, not wanting to be accused of being idle, worked the buttons on his shirt, undoing them one by one. My fingertips would never tire of navigating the plains of his smooth chest. My palms would never bore of the rippled flawlessness of his abdomen and obliques.

I moved my lips to his neck, alternating between soft bites and circular tongue swirls, every so often doing the same to his earlobe. I might have even made him shiver a bit. I could tell Edward was trying with everything in him not to grind his hella big and hella hard self into me, determined to let me steer our course.

_Fasten your seatbelt, here we go…_

I moved my hand down, settling my fingers on the button of his jeans. Our breathing had become accelerated, the fervor for one another palpable. With a twist of my fingers, I wrestled the small piece of metal through the button hole, only to discover that three more stood in my way instead of a zipper. Not willing to let subpar tactual proficiency be an obstacle, I became more adept with each one I freed.

Edward exhaled a long, throaty breath as I manipulated my fingers underneath his boxers. My fingers grazed over the tip, back and forth a few times, and then I wrapped them around his cock. Unable to stop himself, Edward thrust forcefully into my hand, his teeth clenched as he let out a slithering hiss. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty sure I may have let loose an "ahhh" or two, myself.

I leaned away from him, and got off his lap to kneel on the ground between his parted legs. "Wait – where are you going?" He choked out, swallowing hard and trying to figure out what was happening. It was quite clear from the confused and disappointed expression on his face he still didn't realize the plan that involved my mouth and his dick.

The thought (really more the _hope,_ if I were being honest) that maybe I was the only one to do something of such a risqué nature was thrilling. The possibility that something like this could be singularly mine was intoxicating and fueled my desire. I reveled in the fact that in the future, maybe Edward would relive this memory and think of me and the pleasure I brought him.

"Professor, it's obvious I have your undivided attention," I smirked glancing down at his erection, "but what I need is your cooperation while I perform my presentation. Now, please lift your hips so I can pull your pants down a little. I see a blowjob in your future and they're in my way."

"B-Bellaaaa," he gasped, "wha… I don't kn… are you sure?" Despite the stammering hesitation in his voice, Edward's eyes became shadowed with want. It was apparent that Edward wanted this, but I couldn't quite place where his apprehension was coming from. I suppose being on my knees implied a position of submission and wondered if that was the reason behind his reluctance. Even though it suggested one of subservience, quite the opposite was true. Truth be told, I had never felt so dominating in my life. In that very moment, I realized fully the position of power I held and it excited me. The control of this situation had been given to me. I had the wherewithal to bring him pleasure; give him the release I could tell he so desperately wanted, but would not ask for.

"I'm only going to say this once more: Shut it, sit back, and relax. Then you can decide how deserving I am."

I slid my hands up his legs and hips, gently tugging on his jeans and boxers. Edward did as instructed, lifting his hips just enough so I could coax the obstructing garments down to mid-thigh. His cock sprang free, finally unimpeded by clothing. If it could be wearing an expression right about now, I imagined it would read "What the fuck are you waiting for, get 'er done!"

I bent forward, wrapped my hand around his dick, and spread around the pre-cum that had seeped out around the tip with my thumb. I gave his cock a few slow pumps and planted soft, wet kisses from one hipbone to the other. And because it had always been my desire to lick him like an ice cream cone, I did so from the base of his shaft all the way to the tip, long and slow. His breathing accelerated as his head fell back against the chair, his eyes rolling back.

"Sssshhhhhiiiiitttttt."

I pumped my hand down and took his tip in between my lips, swiping my tongue all around it. Opening my mouth as wide as possible, I descended down, putting as much of him in my mouth as I could, while pursing my lips around him to create suction. Surprisingly enough, I was almost able to meet my hand at the base with my mouth. Wanting both of us to savor and enjoy this moment, I steadily sucked upward, my hand squeezing and twisting.

Once I reached the head again, I explored it with my tongue, licking in swirling circular motions, finally giving it a soft nibble. I didn't know if he would want me to use my teeth, so I thought a tender bite might give me an answer.

"Ahh, fuck Bella! God that feels awesome," he panted as he gripped the armrests, his knuckles turning white.

"You like it when I use my teeth, Professor?"

"Fucking hell yes, baby. Use 'em all you want."

I began bobbing my head up and down his shaft. I worked my hand in conjunction with my mouth, alternating between lightly scraping my teeth and dragging my tongue up his length. Mindful of the cadence of his breathing, I let the rhythm of his exhales dictate my pace.

He shifted his hips minutely against my mouth and lightly placed his hand on the back of my head. I could feel his legs tense as he stilled his hips and moved his hand back to the armrest of the chair, again grabbing it in a death grip. My guess was that Edward really wanted to fuck my mouth, but maybe felt that would be inappropriate. Little did he know, that was precisely what I wanted him to do.

With my free hand, I reached over and took his, placing it on the back of my head. Glancing up, I ordered, "Professor, I want you to grab my hair and fuck my mouth please."

"Holy fuck Bella! Y-you want me to d-do what?"

"I said, I want you to grab my hair and fuck my mouth Professor. And when you come, I want you to scream my name so fucking loud, the echo will still be in here next week. Every time you sit in this chair to work, to meet with a student, I want you to remember this and how good I made you feel. Understand?"

Before he could answer me, I resumed sucking and pumping his cock, making sure he had grabbed my hair tightly. I moved my free hand, maneuvering it around to his ass cheek as best I could. Pulling him toward me, I gave it a hard squeeze to let him know that I wanted him to thrust harder.

Finally, _finally_, Edward started to let go and truly enjoy my efforts to please him. Once he understood that I wanted him to guide my head as he saw fit, to press himself deeper into me, he made the most wonderful sing-songy "ahhhs" and "unngs" that my ears had ever heard.

I was completely transfixed with how incredibly beautiful Edward looked while in such a state of bliss. I wanted him swimming in it. I remembered reading somewhere (although I'd never been brazen enough to try it) that some men really liked attention to be paid to the berries, not just the twig. _Okay, more of a log in Edward's case._ So, continuing to pump with my hand, I moved my mouth to his balls, taking one in my mouth and sucking it tenderly. I noted the difference in the texture of the skin and wondered if ball play was something Edward enjoyed.

"Sssssssahhhhhh! Ugh, damn that feels amazing!" His head snapped up, his eyes boring into mine with enough firepower to detonate a city block.

_Check yes in the column of 'likes sac suckage'._

Edward's breathing had become ragged, a mixture of hisses and grunts. I knew he was getting close as both hands were wound rigidly in my hair guiding me, while the thrust of his body became slightly more forceful, both with an increased tempo. I hummed as I sucked him, thinking that the vibration would enhance the sensation and bring him closer to climax.

Feverishly sucking, I pumped and squeezed, twisted and stroked his dick with all that I had. I wanted his orgasm like I wanted a Louis Vuitton Manhattan PM, which is to say I coveted it. Badly.

When Edward tried to move my head, I knew all systems were definitely a go. He was obviously trying to warn me of his impending release, assuming that I didn't want to swallow. Well, you know how the saying goes about assuming…

I shook my head and hummed 'uh-uh', letting him know I wasn't going anywhere.

"B-Bellaaa, ah-sh-shit! I'm coming…. ah… goddammit… FFUUUCCCKKK!"

I let his cum slide down the back of my throat, barely tasting the saltiness at all. It's not like I wanted to savor the flavor or anything. The taste of jizz wasn't the vilest thing in the world, but it wasn't pleasant either. I knew that the banana myth was shit because I had my high school boyfriend try it. Nothing, at least nothing that I knew of, made it sweet.

But the taste didn't matter. What did matter was the pure, unadulterated euphoria that was painted on the beatific face of the angel before me. For as long as I lived, this very image would be what I recalled when I needed a pick-me-up. Excitement and delight coursed through me in the knowledge that I had brought him over the edge. It was my name that fell from his lips as his orgasm tore through him. _Mine._

I continued to milk his shaft, from the base to the head, procuring every last drop I could. Like this was Maxwell House or some shit.

After a few moments, after his breath had gone back to normal, Edward reached down and brought me back up to his lap. He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand and told me how unbelievably earth-shattering my performance was.

"So, does that mean I pass your class, Professor?"

"You did more than passed Ms. Swan. You aced it - no doubt." He gently traced my lips with the pad of his thumb just before he pulled me to him. His searing kiss told me everything I needed to know.

"I'm glad to hear that. I really put a lot of thought and preparation into my presentation."

"Trust me, I could tell. That was amazing, thank you."

"My pleasure, Professor. Now, don't you think we should get going? We don't want to be late for brunch."

We decided it would be best to take his Rover to his parents' house and leave my car at the school. He assured me it would be safe and we could come back to the school later and pick it up.

The drive out to the Cullen's house was nice and relaxing. We didn't talk about what happened in Edward's office; the topic of conversation was predominately his family: what to expect and how I should relax and just be myself. Edward held my hand across the console the entire way, lazily rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb, every so often squeezing my hand.

Edward assured me that Emmett would do something to embarrass him, and that something would possibly include using me. It was all apart of some payback Emmett tried to exact on Edward for something that had happened when they were teenagers. Edward then told me the story and why Emmett would call him 'Cockblock'.

"So, my family used to go skiing over Spring Break to Colorado when we were growing up. It was eighth grade, so I was about thirteen. Alice was a sophomore; Em was a senior and a cocky shit. Anyway, it was late one night, around eleven o'clock or so, and Em wasn't in our room. I wandered around where we were staying and finally found him in the outdoor hot tub with some chick." Edward chuckled as he relived the memory. "I, being the typical pain-in-the-ass little brother, decided it would be a riot to cannonball into the hot tub; looking back it was pretty funny. The girl had a sense of humor and told me to stay and hangout with them. Emmett, of course, insisted that he was about to score and was totally pissed off at me. Since then, he's called me 'Cockblock' and has yet to let me live it down."

I laughed as I imagined a young Edward totally putting the kybosh on Emmett's hot tub fling. Edward seemed to have a great relationship with both of his siblings. I didn't have brothers or sisters of my own, and growing up, I'd always wished that Renee or Charlie would remarry and remedy that. Renee didn't remarry until I was much older and knew she didn't want to have more children. Charlie was a lost cause all the way around. Missing that type of closeness that Edward clearly shared with Emmett and Alice is probably what caused me to latch on so tightly to Rose and Angela.

Finally, we were pulling into the neighborhood of Clyde Hill, an exclusive gated community where some of the wealthiest, most influential people in Seattle lived. Edward had to enter a code just to be allowed entrance into the subdivision where his parents' house was located. Within the gates were the most beautiful homes I had ever seen, each one more grandiose and spectacular than the last.

_Wow, Dr. C, I guess being a pediatric lung specialist at a top-rated children's hospital is pretty lucrative. I will make sure and remember that when it's time for my review. Although, you are responsible for the ridiculously edible man next to me, so maybe we'll just call things even..._

As we pulled into a long and curved driveway, I struggled to keep my jaw from detaching and falling in my lap. The Cullen estate (yes, it was an estate because it was too damned huge for it not to be) was a magnificent piece of architecture. The stone accents and gleaming white pillars were reminiscent of the breathtaking mansions one would find in the Hamptons. I was in complete and total awe and suddenly so fucking nervous. Shit, Charlie's little whiteboard, two-bedroom house back in Forks was smaller than the garage!

The grounds were pristinely landscaped and manicured; they looked like they belonged on the front of a gardening magazine. The lawn was a deep and beautiful lush green, like a thick carpet, so soft and inviting to bare feet. Tall, statuesque trees covered the land and surrounding acreage. The scenery was so breathtaking I felt like I was on the inside of a painting and almost forgot where I was. _Almost._

And holy hell. The inside was just as ornate and insanely exquisite as the outside. Resembling many a spread I'd seen in _Architectural Digest_, the layout was open and light, yet inviting and warm. I wondered if Esme had decorated it herself or if she had hired a designer. Whoever was responsible had impeccable taste and a lofty budget.

Edward took me by the hand, telling me his parents were most likely in the kitchen. He told me he'd give me a personal tour of the house later, but first he wanted to let them know we had arrived. I was led past the grand staircase, through the elegant formal living room and opulent dining room, towards the kitchen. Judging by what I had seen so far, it had to be nothing short of sublime.

Edward and I stopped just outside the kitchen door. We were met with not only the sounds of cooking, but music and singing. After Pimp Daddy C's groove fest from a few days ago, it appeared that we were about to witness the stylings of…. _Esme-licious_?With an expression of equal parts shock and amusement, Edward whispered "shhh" so we could get a closer look at what was going on.

_It's a good thing I don't have to pee right now because based on the freaky deaky rump-shakin' I was watching, I would have totally pissed myself._

The Black Eyed Peas 'My Humps' blared throughout the kitchen as Esme shook her humps wildly in front of the stove while stirring something, although I couldn't see what it was. Dr. Cullen stood beside her, sort of spastically thrusting his hips, spatula in hand, flipping what looked like pancakes. Edward and I must have been mirror images of one another, hand over mouth trying desperately not to lose our shit.

It was then that Pimp Daddy C turned Esme-licous' hump to what I hoped wasn't his lump, because that would just be _eewwww_. And what was worse is he started singing the Will- I- Am part of the chorus:

_Whatcha gonna do with all that junk  
All that junk inside that trunk_

Esme, not missing a beat, gave Fergie a run for her money as she wiggled her cheekies and belted out:

_I'ma get get get get you drunk  
Get you love drunk off my hump_

And for the love of the Billboard Top 40, I needed bleach for my brain when he took the next part of the chorus:

_Whatcha gonna do with all that ass  
All that ass inside them jeans_

Of course, he completed his part with a nice hard slap of the rear, which would be an image that would not be leaving my brain anytime soon. And right on cue, Esme let fly:

_I'ma make make make make you scream  
Make you scream make you scream  
Cause of my humps my hump my hump my hump  
My hump my hump my hump my lovely lady lumps_

Dragging me in the kitchen, Edward threw his hand over his face and screamed, "My eyes! Oh God, my eyes!" The laughter I had fought so hard to contain finally erupted forth in a fit of snorts and squeals. I couldn't decide which sight was funnier: Esme and Carlisle gettin' jiggy wit it or Edward's not-really-faux horrified reaction.

"Ahhh!" Esme screamed, "Are you trying to put me in an early grave son? For pity's sake, sneaking up on your poor mother like that! Where are your manners Edward Anthony?"

"After what you guys were just doing, which will never be spoken of again by the way, you're one to be talking about manners."

"Edward," Carlisle began with a smirk on his face, "what we do in the privacy of our home is our business. It's not our fault if your timing blows." Turning his head to Esme, he quirked, "Speaking of blowing, Momma."

"Oh Jesus! Will you guys stop it so I can formally introduce Bella before she flips and runs out the door?"

"You shush, mister." Esme pointed at her son and, not wasting a single moment, walked over and hugged me. "It's a pleasure to meet you in person, sweetheart. I am so sorry I haven't made it up to the office since you started working for Carlisle. Please let me make it up to you and take you to lunch soon, okay?"

"I'm so glad to finally meet you in person too, Esme. Lunch sounds great; of course, I might need to clear it with my boss first."

"Why is it that no one ever wants to have lunch with me? Am I not cool anymore?" Carlisle pouted.

"Well, I'm your boss' boss, so you tell me what day is best for you." Esme turned to Carlisle and said, "You're the epitome of cool, Daddy. I'll take Bella for lunch, but you and I can have dessert. How does that sound?" With the music still blaring, Esme backed her thang up right up against Pimp Daddy C and wiggled her assets.

"Awww, guys, come on will you? You're going to burn stuff and we won't have anything to eat. I also need to know who's responsible for your Fergie exposure so I can have them pay for my therapy," Edward wailed. It was really cute seeing him all grossed out by his parents' intimacy. Personally, I thought it was cool and hoped to have that zest still alive in my own marriage so many years down the road.

"Alice would be the one to blame," Esme stated and turned back to the stove to finish cooking, Carlisle doing the same.

"What am I getting blamed for now?" Asked a new, unfamiliar voice. In walked a slight woman, obviously Alice; she was followed by a tall, commanding figure, who had to be Jasper.

"Showing me and your dad how to get our freak on Peas-style. Your brother and Bella caught us unaware and, well, your brother has issues with that sort of thing."

"Edward just has issues period. Hi Bella, I'm Alice. I'm so happy to meet you! We've been hearing your praises for quite a while now." She laughed warmly and shook my hand. "And this is my husband and better half, Major Jasper Whitlock."

"The feeling is mutual; I'm so glad to be able to put faces with names. Although, I sorta feel like I should salute or something…" I trailed off and did my best impression of standing at attention.

"At ease, soldier," Jasper chuckled. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, ma'am."

I asked Jasper what branch of the service he was in. He was incredibly proud to be a career Army man, now working as a recruiter. Jasper had enlisted when he was eighteen and worked his way up in the ranks, and was now about five years away from retirement. He had a very calming, yet authoritative air about him; it was no surprise he was a decorated officer.

"So what's for chow? I'm starving!" Alice eagerly walked over to Esme and peeked over her shoulder.

"You sound more and more like your husband everyday Ally, I swear. Well, I'm trying out Paula Deen's Apple and Bacon Brunch Pancakes. I figured they have to be good. That woman clearly enjoys the hell out of her own cooking; how can I not trust her, right? Your father is in charge of those while I'm working on the eggs like we get at Salty's. I bribed one of the cooks for the recipe."

"Everything ought to be ready very shortly," Carlisle said, tossing pancakes in the air, minus the spatula this time; it was quite impressive. "Why doesn't everyone make themselves a drink? There's orange juice in the fridge. Edward, Jasper, why don't you gents go and rustle up some champagne and vodka in case anybody wants a Mimosa or screwdriver."

"I'll take a screw, minus the driver!" A huge, billowing voice filled the room from floor to ceiling. I might have even felt the floor rattle a little. Edward hadn't lied, Emmett was a beast. There was a collective groan within the kitchen as Edward and Jasper began rummaging through cabinets looking for the liquor.

"Emmett, son, must you always be so crass?" Esme scolded, a tone laced more with exasperation than anger. I had to giggle as it seemed comments like that were frequent from the eldest Cullen boy.

"That's the ABC's of me Momma. I'm the baby, gotta love me." Emmett walked over to his mom and gave her a big squeeze. Turning to Carlisle and giving him a slight punch in the arm, Emmett teased, "What's shaking Pimp? Besides those hips?"

"Heard about that did you? I swear there's no such thing as a secret in this family is there?"

Despite my keeping mum, it took all of about two seconds for Emmett to shift his attention to me. He crossed the kitchen and infiltrated my bubble. My first instinct was to crouch in response to someone so massive towering over me. "Where are my manners? I'm Emmett, the older and more fetching of the Cullen brothers. You must be Bella."

"First off big _bruh,_" Alice interrupted, "you're not _the _baby that would be Edward. You're just _a _baby Em, a big one at that. And, does anyone else find it wrong to hear the words 'Emmett' and 'manners' spoken with the same breath?" She scoffed, which caused everyone else to laugh in agreement.

"Indeed I am," I replied with a wry smile. "Your reputation precedes you, by the way. Let me guess, you're also the modest one, right?"

"Oooh, Eddie, I liiiike her." And then I suddenly found myself about two feet in the air, gripped tightly in Emmett's clutches, my breath being squeezed out of my lungs.

"You might want to put her down there, chief," Edward said with an inflection that implied a little bit of … _jealousy_?

Edward walked over to where we stood. Thankfully, he had the drinks he had just made us in his hands. Had they been empty, the look on his face suggested he might have used them to wrestle me away from his brother.

"No need to get your panties in a twist baby bruh. It's all good." Emmett playfully patted Edward's cheek. In a move that must have been so very Emmett, he grabbed the orange juice jug, popped off the top, and took a big long guzzle. I made a mental note to either not drink anything else that required OJ, or ask for a new jug.

"Mimosa?" Edward asked and handed me a glass. "I figured your juice could use a little kick after those numerous shocks to the system."

"Cheers to that," I muttered as we clinked glasses. I became so lost in the sexiness of Edward gulping his OJ, not sure whether it contained the vodka or bubbly, that I just about missed the mark of my own mouth, and dribbled some down my chin. Edward very quickly stopped the drip with his finger, looked me dead in the eye, and sucked his finger clean. _Dear. Lord. Have. Mercy._

Before I could turn into a pile of gelatinous ooze, Esme announced that brunch was ready. Once our food was plated, we made our way into the dining room.

Conversation flowed freely and easily as we enjoyed one another's company, stuffing ourselves with the delicious food. Naturally, Emmett, Alice, and Esme wanted to play twenty questions and learn as much as they could about my childhood, my parents, and my life in general. Jasper, on the other hand, just sat back and nodded occasionally, like the cool customer he seemed to be. It should have felt like the Spanish Inquisition, but in fact, I was completely comfortable and thrilled that they were so receptive to me. Every so often, underneath the table Edward would squeeze my hand or pat my knee, silently giving me support and encouragement.

When our stomachs could hold no more, Esme and Alice started to clear the table. I offered to help, but they would not hear of it; I was a guest and kitchen duty was not required. Edward asked if I wanted to take a tour of the rest of the house. As much fun as I was having hanging out with his family, I was a gluttonous bitch when it came to alone time with Edward. As if I would ever pass up a chance for that.

After a walk-through of the first floor, we made our way to the front of the house, walked up the grand staircase, and came to the beginning of a long hallway. "Well Ms. Swan, this begins the second floor of the nickel tour." Edward clasped my hand and very suggestively asked, "Are you getting your money's worth so far?"

"You, my dear sir, are always worth the price of admission," I replied, my tone laced with as much innuendo as his inquiry.

_So, you wanna spar HBJ? Bring it, junior, bring it._

We continued on down the upstairs hallway, lined with doors that were most likely guest bedrooms and bathrooms. I asked how many rooms Palace de Cullen had. I could only imagine my dumbfounded expression when he told me five of both. I wondered if there was anything in this man's life that _wasn't _hella big.

I also noticed all of the family photos that adorned the walls. There were countless happy memories, elegantly framed, proudly on display for all to see. It was awesome to take in the closeness of the Cullen family. They were such a cohesive unit that it made my heart both stutter and smile at the hope that, not only would I one day fill my own hallway with such beautiful memories, but that maybe I would help create new ones to appear in this very hallway.

Mesmerized by pictures of recitals, tee-ball games, and school portraits, I stopped dead in my tracks, honing in on one of a teenage Edward in a tuxedo with a young girl in an elegant gown. _Must be prom or something._ Initially, I was enthralled at how devastatingly handsome he was even back then. _Geeze, had there ever been an awkward moment in his life_?

But as I studied the picture more closely, I regarded the way he gazed at her with such adoration and maybe even love. It was crystal clear in that moment captured so long ago that the girl held the beating heart of the love struck boy in her grasp. I wondered if she had been aware of that fact and realized just how miraculous such a thing was.

_Obviously not, 'cause she sure as shit isn't around anymore…_

"So this must be your prom, right?"

"That would be correct."

"Who's the girl?" I asked, trying not to grit my teeth.

"That would be Bree. She was my girlfriend back in the day. We dated the last two years of high school." He stated matter-of-factly as if he was commenting on his tax return. I was a little ecstatic by the absence of nostalgia in his voice.

"What happened?"

"Oh, pretty much the typical scenario. She went away to college in Oregon, I stayed here. We tried the whole long distance thing freshman year, but ended up growing apart and breaking up, amicably of course."

"I would say I'm sorry to hear that, but I'd have to dodge the lightening bolt coming for me."

"Well, for what it's worth," he said nibbling on my ear, "I'm not sorry either. Besides, her parents didn't approve of me anyway. I wasn't Catholic enough."

"I didn't know you were Catholic."

"I'm not. Precisely why they didn't approve."

"So, do you still keep in touch with her?"

"From time to time when she comes in to visit her family. We try and get together to catch up."

"Well, isn't that special?" I was going all Church Lady on him and so fucking jealous I couldn't see straight. I needed to get myself in check quick, fast, and in a hurry.

"Bella, are you miffed that I still keep in touch with my old high school girlfriend? That's so cute…" he said, kissing my neck.

"I'm not… I'm nnnn…." _I'm not even capable of a complete sentence with you doing that._

"Well, our tour is just about over, but I thought I would ask if I could interest you in a bonus stop. Only a very select few are offered what I'd like to show you."

"Oh, I'm definitely intrigued. My curiosity has been piqued. Where are we headed?"

"My old room," he said with a devilish grin.

_What was that saying about the road to Hell being paved with good intentions?_

* * *

**EPOV**

I couldn't resist. Not one second longer. I had to get her somewhere we could be alone so I could really thank her for the mind blowing day this had been. Pun intended. Cue the rimshot, I don't fucking care.

When Bella showed up at my office, I was pleasantly surprised. When I realized what she had in mind with her 'sexy-as-hell-student-that-wants-a-better-grade-and-will-blow-for-it' act, I was elatedly stupefied.

And thanks to my Sweetness, every time I walk into my office, I will think about how amazing she was; how she took complete control which, in turn, made me lose it. And oh, what a way to go…

No doubt the feel of Bella's hands around me was in-fucking-credible, but sweet mother of pearl, the feel of her lips wrapped around my cock was pure bliss. I think my heart stopped when she told me to fuck her mouth. The fact that something so dirty could come from such a beautiful mouth was about the hottest damn thing my ears had ever heard.

I knew I had to find a way to thank her: thank her for the best blow job in the history of oral adeptness, thank her for enduring the crazy introduction to my family, and thank her for fitting into my life where I wanted her so badly. So, I'd borrowed some of Job's patience and bided my time all morning waiting for this very moment. I had her exactly where I wanted her and I was all about some reciprocation.

"So… this is my room," I told her as we walked through the door. "I'm not sure why mom insists on keeping it intact. I haven't lived here in a decade. She's really sentimental that way."

"I think that's really sweet of her actually. Your family is great Edward, all of them. I'm really glad you invited me, I've had a blast."

"Me too, Bella. One of my five best days of all time, without question. Maybe you'd consider making this a permanent Sunday thing then?" I asked, because I wanted her in all facets of my life. She just fit so perfectly and the way that my whole family had completely taken to her proved that we had something real. So what if it had only been about four days, big fucking deal. I didn't have to justify my feelings with an approved date stamp.

"Absolutely," she blushed my favorite rosy shade. "That'd be great." Bella cleared her throat and started walking around the room, checking out where I spent the days of my youth, almost as if she were trying to read me. I could feel the particles in the air crackle, and thought perhaps she could too, as she had started to fidget with the knickknacks on my desk where I used to do my homework.

"I was thinking we could play a little game if you're up for it, Sweetness." I walked over to where she stood, pinning her against the desk.

"What sort of game did you have in mind?" She asked, her tone tinged with trepidation.

"Bella May I."

"May you what?"

"That's the name of the game, silly."

"Oh. OH," she said. Her eyes widened as she realized the possibilities of such a sport. "Umm, okay sure," she conceded as she chewed her lower lip like a piece of Hubba Bubba.

"Good. Remember, I'm asking permission, and although it's well within your prerogative to tell me no, I really hope you don't."

"Okay." Her response came out in a whisper so soft, I wouldn't have heard it if I'd been more than a foot away.

"Bella, may I kiss you?"

"Yes."

And so I did. Soft and slow. I felt the tension leave her body as she completely relaxed into me. Her slight moans and accelerated heartbeat told me I had her exactly where I wanted her. _This was going to be fun._

"Bella, may I kiss your neck?"

"Yes."

I trailed kisses from the spot under her ear that drove her crazy, across the front of her neck until I reached the other ear, and hit the same spot on the opposite side. Bella tilted her head, allowing my lips to tease her skin, and it pebbled under my touch. I loved the way she sighed and tangled her fingers in my hair when we were like this.

"Bella," I breathed in her ear, "may I touch you _here_?" I said as I placed but one finger on her breast. And before she could answer, I added the caveat, "with my tongue?"

She managed to sputter out her permission, although her eyes looked slightly unfocused. My eyes, however, were completely focused on my next target. Her sweater had a low neckline, so I was able to pull it down with ease, only to reveal one of those sexy as fuck sheer bras. In black. With a front clasp. Hot. Damn.

With a snap of my fingers (yes I was a master of that shit) her tits sprang free. I wasted no time attacking one with my mouth and the other with my hand. I fucking loved the way her nipples hardened almost as soon as I tongued them. I worked them in tandem, teasing one nipple with my tongue and teeth, the other I rolled and pinched. Bella moaned in pleasure. I gently blew on her chest, she shivered, and her jaw fell slack.

"Bella, may I kiss you _here?" _I asked. Slipping one hand underneath her sweater, I traced circles around her belly button.

The sensation against her skin caused her to flinch slightly, yet she managed to answer "yes."

I bent down, just low enough to coax her sweater up and expose her soft and luscious skin. I planted light kisses around her navel and gently nuzzled her stomach with my nose. She started rubbing the back of my neck, a soft _mmmm _hummed from her lips. I knew she was enjoying this game, and truthfully, I was dying to get to the next part.

It was time for the most important question I needed to ask. I had never wanted a yes so bad in all my life.

Bella was panting, her hands fondling my hair as I straightened up to look her in the eye. "Bella," I gulped trying to steady my own breath, "may I _taste_ you _here_?" I gently rubbed the juncture of her thighs through her jeans, wondering if she was already a little wet.

"Y-yes, Edward, p-please."

_Hell. Yes. Access. Granted._

I slid down the luscious curves of her body, skimming my hands along her sides, until I was on my knees before her, ready for worship. I slid off her shoes and tossed them to the side. I unfastened her jeans and peeled them off, revealing her beautifully toned legs. _Damn, I really am a great teacher, huh? _

She stepped out of her jeans, and when I lifted up her sweater I was greeted with the sheer black panties that matched her bra. The last time I'd felt anticipation about unwrapping something was Christmas morning when I was ten years old. I wanted to rip them the fuck off, but the gentleman in me triumphed over the horny bastard within. The two found a way to coexist at that moment because I removed them gently _with my teeth_.

"Do you have any idea how insanely beautiful you are?" It was a rhetorical question, but I needed to rid her of the ridiculous notion that she was anything less than gorgeous. "Sit up on the desk, okay?"

She leaned back and I took her feet and placed them on my shoulders. I was eye level with Bella's almost bare and glistening pussy. And what a thing of beauty it was. I wanted to take a picture of it with my phone and save it as the image that would pop up when she called.

Once again, the horny bastard and the gentleman were about to throwdown. The gentleman wanted to relish and savor the experience. To kiss her inner thigh and pubic bone before tasting her fully. The horny bastard wanted a bib so he could dive right in. Compromise being the key, I tenderly kissed her outer lips.

I cupped my hands on her beautiful ass, massaging her cheeks. She was moaning as her pelvis minutely thrusted closer to my mouth. Bella was so fucking turned on and seeing her like this went straight to my dick. He wanted to come out and join the party, but I mentally reminded him that he'd already had some fun today and needed to chillax.

Steadying her hips with my hands for fear she might fly off the damn desk, I slowly licked from the bottom of her wet slit to the top. I found her clit with the tip of my tongue, and once I touched that sweet spot, Bella let out a breathy "fuuuuck." Her head fell backwards and her eyes snapped shut.

I wanted her to see me. I wanted her to watch me as I ate her out and made her come. I told her exactly that.

Our eyes were locked in some sort of staring contest as I moved my tongue in long sweeps and swift pulses all around, in and out of her delectable pussy. I had just found another food group and fully intended to add it to my diet. I noticed Bella had moved one of her hands up to her neck and started to slide it to her exposed breast before setting it back down on the desk.

"Touch yourself Bella; grab your tit like I would."

She did. And it was so damn hot.

"God, Bella, you are so fucking delicious. I want you all over my face. Tell me. Tell me if it feels good." I needed to hear her say it.

"God, yes, Edward, it feels awesome. Your tongue feels so amazing. Unnggg."

I knew Bella would have no idea what I was doing, but I was marking my territory with every swirl of my tongue against her clit. I wrote the words _mine _and _Edward's pussy_ all over that small area that was the most sensitive part of a female's body. I could tell she was getting close because her hips were writhing and her yeses had become almost inaudible.

I slid two fingers inside her and pumped them in and out of her in syncopation with her throaty groans. Knowing that her clit was overly sensitive, I nibbled it lightly, hoping that the added sensation would send her flying.

"Fuck… y-yessss! Ahh… Uhh…Thasit… I'm… I'm… SHITEDWARDFUCKFUCK!" It was all she could do not to scream; instead the words fell in a fierce and almost uncontrolled whisper.

_Jackpot. Fucking beautiful._

I watched in total awe as she rode out her orgasm, shuddering and thrusting against my fingers and mouth. She was all erratic breath and heaving chest; I'd never seen anything more beautiful. Would there ever be a time when I wouldn't be caught up in the rapture of watching her climax and scream my name in pleasure? I didn't have to think twice about the answer.

I stood up and kissed her, full of need and wanting her to taste herself. She didn't just taste herself in my kisses; she licked the remnants of her orgasm from my chin and all around my mouth. Bella was amazing and never ceased to shock the hell out of me.

"God Edward that was… I don't even think I have the right words," she gasped, her breathing still somewhat fast.

"So I take it you like the game then?"

"Well it beats the hell out of dominoes, that's for damned sure." She thought for a moment before sliding her hand downward, a hint of mischief in her eyes. "It seems really unfair to leave you in such a state though. Maybe I could help."

Just as she started kissing me and palming my very eager dick, who was doing the cha-cha at that moment, there was a loud banging on the door.

_What the fuck?_

"Hey! Hey! What are you two kids doing in there? Don't make me go get Momma to do a hand check, Eddie."

"Fucking Emmet," I hissed.

"Looks like he's trying to steal your nickname and get a little payback," Bella giggled.

"Yeah, I guess. Come on, as much as it pains me to say this, let's get you dressed."

We fumbled to get Bella's clothes back on, and I swore I heard the chant of 'Cannonball! Cannonball!' retreating down the hallway all the way downstairs. The next time I saw my dear brother, I was going to beat his cockblocking ass.

* * *

**A/N: **Ok, lots of thanks that need to go around. To **juilebee** for being my beta momma for the first four chapters of this here little ditty. Unfortunately, RL trumps all and she can no longer continue to do so. I owe her so much, especially for putting up with my crazy-ass-neurosis.

Thank you to my two shiny new betas **IHateCleanBreaks **and **Stratan**. They are awesome and I'm super psyched to be working with these guys. By the time this thing is done, they are gonna need a hug or a fruit basket for taking me on.

As always, I do not deserve the supreme awesomeness of **RoseArcadia**, my PM, Blinkie-Queen-Extraordinaire, personal valium, pre-reader and most importantly, my friend. She is amazing, I love her and that is all.

Huge thanks to **lisamichelle17 **for providing all details of the Seattle variety. She's saved me hours of internet research.

Aaaannnndd, thanks to everyone that's reading this thingy and put me on alert. I am truly humbled. Big time squeezes to all that leave the love. It makes me giddy like you wouldn't believe.

Catch you guise on the flip.


	6. Chapter 6 How Can I Stop

**Disclaimer: This story is brought to you by the letter "M". Please consult your ID for age appropriateness. I'm a Steph, but not that one, meaning Twilight is not mine, nor are the lovely characters contained within. I just like to make them do funny stuff.**

**Chapter 6– How Can I Stop?**

**BPOV **

Five AM in the morning and I couldn't sleep. I should be dead to the world considering I'd just gotten in bed a few hours ago. My body should not have so much adrenaline at such an ungodly time of day. Since I only had an hour before I technically had to be up, I went to my computer to go through my e-mails. There was one sitting there from my dad from a couple of days ago, so I figured I'd go ahead and answer it.

* * *

From: Charlie Swan

Sent: Fri 3/27/2009 7:37PM

Subject: Phone tag/catching up

To: Isabella Swan

Bells,

Seems like we keep trading voice mails. Thought I'd just send you a message instead. Your old man just wants to know how you're doing, that's all. Last time we talked you still liked your job. Hope Dr. Cullen is still treating you well. Sounds like a good man. You also mentioned something about a guy you met at your gym. You said he seemed really nice. Tell him I have a Remington Wingmaster and a badge. Just kidding (not really). Anyway, maybe you can come in for a visit Easter weekend. I'm working odd hours the next couple of weeks. Let's try and catch up soon, okay? Least I'm not as bad as your mother. She'd have been on your doorstep by now. By the way, the Newton boy said to tell you hello. So, there's that.

Love, Dad

* * *

My dad, so quick and to the point. I sat there for few minutes, staring at the screen wondering how best to answer my father. I hadn't been totally honest with him about who Edward was since I knew he'd have a coronary once he learned I was dating my boss's son. I could just hear him now: "Bells, that is not smart. You don't shit where you eat." Yet another Charlieism, aka "nugget o' brilliance". Gathering my thoughts, I typed my reply, comforted that we weren't having an actual conversation, and he couldn't read the tone in my voice. That was the exact reason we'd been in an epic game of phone tag since Edward and I had started dating.

* * *

From: Isabella Swan

Sent: Mon 3/30/2009 5:15AM

Subject: Re: Phone tag/catching up

To: Charlie Swan

Dad,

Hey, I'm sorry we keep missing each other. Just been really busy lately. Work is great - Dr. Cullen is a wonderful man and a terrific boss. He's so awesome with the kids. I've been dating the guy from the gym; his name is Edward by the way, for almost a month now. Things are really good; he makes me happy. And, no, I will not tell him about your shotgun, and, yes, he is already very aware of your badge. I'll try and come for Easter weekend. I'm pretty sure the office will be closed Good Friday, so I'd make the drive that day. Maybe I'll bring Edward if he wants to come. You better be nice, though. I'll call you soon and we'll catch up. Miss you. Tell Mike (the Newton boy) I said hello back.

Love, Bella

* * *

I turned off my computer and silently tiptoed back over to my bed. I slipped beneath the sheets as delicately as possible so I did not disturb my overnight guest, who was still sleeping soundly. I gingerly lay on my side, tucked my hands beneath my chin, and was held captive by the peaceful sight of a sleeping Edward. I was in awe at the innocent and boyish characteristics his features took on while he was at rest, a stark contrast to his mature and chiseled appearance while awake.

As I stared at him unabashedly, my mind wandered, and I thought back over the course of the last several weeks since that night in the sauna. I contemplated how everything between Edward and I began at lightning speed, igniting the fear that there was nowhere left for us to go. The apprehension that sex was his overriding interest was so overpowering, that it fostered my need to slow things down. I was more than a number, or a toenail clipping, as Edward had so eloquently put it that day at lunch. But time and time again, he'd proven his intentions to be nothing less than honorable.

Edward was a man of his word, and, according to Chief Swan, a man's word was his bond (another Charlieism!). Edward had allowed me to set the pace, giving me the control as he catered to my every emotional and physical need. Well, the physical needs that I allowed him to cater to, anyway. I was truly amazed at how far we'd come in such a short period of time. I smiled as I remembered the first time I'd taken his class since our encounter in the sauna…

_It had been one full week to the day. Best seven days of my life hands down. I hadn't seen him since he took me back to _my_ car after brunch at Casa de Cullen. _And oh my, what a brunch it was._ We had talked and texted a lot, but I was starting to need more than just his audible or virtual presence. I craved his tangible body in up close and personal proximity to mine. I wanted to reach out and touch that someone pretty fucking bad, and AT&T was not cutting it anymore._

_As excited as I was to see him in class, I had no idea what to expect. I wasn't sure how to act. Did I walk in and kiss the hell out of him or pretend we were stranger? Mere acquaintances? What were the rules, if in fact there were any?_

_About ten seconds after I walked into class, I had my answer. I entered the cycle room as unobtrusively as possible. Just like every other class before, my spin god was getting his music ready, seemingly unaware of my presence. I made a beeline to the corner __to__ grab my coveted bike, only to find it was gone._

What the fuck?

_I looked around as if I would find it hiding or some shit, totally dumbstruck._

_And then I heard him. That molten lava brain freezing voice echoed over the headset, filling the room and totally confounding me._

"_Excuse me, Ms. Swan." I turned to face the person who dichotomously personified an archangel and the antichrist at the same time. "That particular bike is broken, Sweetness. I saved you one right here." He smiled while oh-so-nonchalantly tapping the aforementioned bike, which just so happened to be right in front of his own. And then the unholy man righteously winked at me._

Shit!

_Despite the fact that I desperately wanted the earth to open and swallow me whole, I strode to the front of the class and to the bike clearly designated for the teacher's pet. As nice as it sounded to use the word pet (whether noun or verb, derivation didn't mean jack) in regards to Edward, I was painfully aware of the massive amount of stink eye currently being hurled my way._

_He turned quickly to start the music and get class underway, the melody thrumming and pumping in unison with the spinning wheels of the bikes. Emerging from my mesmerized state, I made the necessary adjustments to the bike that wasn't mine. I climbed on and began my normal warm up routine as best I could. Who was I kidding? There was nothing remotely normal at this point. I wasn't sure I could participate in the class properly without the usual sport of eye fucking Edward. What the hell was I gonna focus on now?_

"_Hello ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to 24 Cycle. My name is Edward, and I'm your instructor this evening. Before we begin, is there anyone new to the class that needs help with bike set up?" He paused briefly before he continued. "No? Okay, we'll get started then." He gave us the normal pre-class spiel, stressing that hydration was key and to take water breaks when necessary. Of course his smirk-face-punk-ass self looked right at me as he said those words._

Oh, it was on like Donkey Kong HBJ.

_Spin god took his place on the bike right in front of me and started his own warm up. "So, tonight's class is a bit more difficult as I'll be testing your strength and power. This is most definitely an endurance ride. There will be lots of climbs, both in and out of the saddle, so please make sure that you have enough tension to ensure a productive workout. I can't have anyone leave this room feeling unsatisfied, now can I?"_

Again with the fucking wink! How is it possible that I want to pound the shit out of this man with my fists _and_ my most girly of places at the same time?

"_Also, I've got some new music for our ride tonight. I hope you enjoy the song selections as they were very inspired." He grinned so sinfully that_ _I felt the need say a brief Hail Mary that I would make it through the next hour without combusting from the heat of his gaze. I dropped my head and looked down at my feet, feeling the stink eye transform into daggers being mentally launched in my general direction._

"_And lastly, be sure to check your form in the mirrors. Make sure your shoulders aren't hunched over – that can really irritate the lower back. If you're in the back and can't see my form, Bella, this lovely lady in front of me, is an impeccable example of proper positioning." And with that comment, my eyes snapped up at him in horror with the desire to kick and kiss the shit out of him, exactly in that order._

_I would like to say that class got better and the devil in an angel's wrapping behaved in a professional manner, but because I was Bella Swan and the universe seemed to like fucking with me, he did not cease and desist. Edward never passed up the chance to make some sort of double entendre or panty-dropping quip, and each and every one was directed at me. _

_The music was just as transparent to me as his barbs were. I knew what he was trying to tell me with each and every song choice. It was obvious he was trying to communicate how he felt about me through lyrics. I wanted to squeal with jubilation when he told me he "believed in a thing called love," via The Darkness' words. When Billy Corrigan rumbled "kiss and kill me sweetly", I considered it an invitation of sorts and would RSVP immediately after class when we were alone. _

_With each passing drill, Edward's stare grew more fervid and, as badly as I wanted to, I couldn't look away. There was absolutely no dismissing the hunger in his eyes as he watched my body moving up and down during the out-of-the-saddle standing climb; the increased tension added to the wheel emulated the tension that radiated between us._

_His most intimate desires were disguised as a mere workout playlist; the melodic onslaught had accomplished its objective and turned me into veritable putty. How I made it through class without attacking him in every sense of the word was baffling. What I did know was that there would be hell to pay when we finally had some privacy._

_I grabbed my gym bag after class ended and walked over to him. I immediately noticed that the lycra-clad vultures that normally hovered over him were strangely absent. _Hmmm, nice, I thought to myself.

"_So, are you still up for a soaking?" He grinned impishly. "Did you bring your suit?"_

"_Yes, sir, I'm game. It's in my bag. Meet you at the whirlpool in about ten?"_

"_You got it. By the way, did you like the music tonight?" He questioned; like he damn well didn't know the answer already. _

_I futilely tried not to blush (like I actually had control over that shit) and glanced at my shoes, as if they held the answer for how best to answer his question. He stepped toward me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Well?' He whispered in my ear, giving it a playful nuzzle._

Why did I wear panties to his class again? Oh, yeah that's right. So he could charm them the fuck off me.

"_Of course I did Edward. You knew I would." Since my face was buried in his chest, my reply was a bit muffled. I tried as best I could not to melt right there. Finding my slightly shaky backbone, I not-too-convincingly chastised, "Very clever of you moving my favorite bike so that I would have to sit up front. That was kind of underhanded, you know."_

"_I never claimed to play fair, did I?"_

"_Well, just remember one thing: karma's a bitch," I said, my voice as foreboding as I could make it given our close proximity._

_His smile reeked of transgression, his tone full of iniquity as he sarcastically queried, "Is that so, Ms. Swan?"_

"_It is indeed, Mr. Cullen. You not only have my vanishing bike to answer for, but your very crafty DJ skills as well, Dearheart."_

"_Well, I look forward to whatever karma has in store for me then."_

"_Oh, I bet you do," I cooed as I reached down into my gym bag, pulled out my Zune and selected a song I felt pretty sure would drive him insane. Karma and I were about to collect. "Here, I have a little musical inspiration of my own to share. Take a listen to this and I'll see you in a few." I flashed him a cat-eat-shit grin as I strutted out of the cycle room._

This was going to be good.

_I made my way over to the ladies' locker room, my body filled with excitement and a smidge of nervousness. It occurred to me that Edward would be seeing me in a swimsuit. While he had seen me in various stages of undress, this was the most revealing attire he'd seen me in yet. I gave myself a mental hair pull and told the bashful doofus to get some chi-chis because Edward sure seemed to like licking them._

_Finally clad in my bikini top (which made my girls look pretty decent if I were being honest) and boy shorts, I gathered my things and went to go meet Edward. When I found him, he was already waiting for me in the whirlpool. I couldn't help but notice the very serious and resigned expression he wore on his face. He had his head leaned back, his eyes shut tight as if he were concentrating very diligently on something._

_I slipped in the water beside him, and could just barely hear the hum emanating from his pursed lips over the whir of the bubbles. I recognized it immediately as the song I had selected at the end of class. He opened his eyes, cutting them over to me without as much as the turn of his head. The corner of his beautiful (and very talented) mouth turned up minutely. Edward closed his eyes again and shook his head. _

"_Penny for your thoughts."_

"_They're entirely too inappropriate for present company."_

"_Meaning?"_

"_Meaning that you don't play fair either. You expect me to listen to that harmonious porn, then see you looking like _that _and it have no effect on me whatsoever?"_

"_Why, Edward, I have no idea what you're talking about." I feigned innocent and unassuming._

"_Oh, but of course you do Isabella. You have to know what you do to me," he all but growled._

Okay, okay… I was pretty sure I did. But, what was the harm in double checking?

_His eyes tightly closed again, his mouth clamped shut. I would swear he was grinding his teeth by the miniscule movements of his jaw. Ever so tentatively, I moved my hand beneath the rippling surface of the water and placed it on the rock-hard bulge covered by his swim trunks. _Score! _He gasped as his eyes popped open, his head jerking toward me. _

"_What?" I asked, "I was just curious…"_

_Then it hit me. We were chest level in the swirling water; the effervescent bubbles allowed enough cover for certain things that might take place below the surface. And because my new best friend, Karma and I were enjoying Edward's look of utter astonishment and 'oh-my-God-yes' too much to stop, I began to rub his aforementioned bulge as if it were my very own rabbit's foot._

_It didn't take long for the devil himself to reappear as that damnable smile played at his lips. "You know what they say about curiosity, don't you?"_

"_What, that it killed the…?" _Holyfuckingshit! _I felt his hand touch the place that was synonymous with the word that answered his question. _Touché motherfucker, touché.

_We sat there for several moments as our hands idly rubbed the other's most special of places, our eyes locked and unflinching. I couldn't help but notice the rate of my breathing had escalated somewhat, pretty much matching Edward's rhythm._

"_So," he finally broke the silence, "how good is your game face?"_

"_Why?"_

"_Because, I want to make you come right now. And despite how emotionless your face may stay, I'll know what's going on under the surface where no one else can see. I'll know it's me that's making you so wet and not the water. Think you can handle that?"_

Now would a good time to answer, B. And fucking breathe dammit.

"_I, uh, can handle it, and then some." I fought the urge to writhe into his fingers with everything that was in me. "The question is, can you?" I increased the pressure just a smidge to see if I could get a reaction._

Don't think I didn't feel you twitch HBJ, 'cause I totally did.

"_Are you... hmmm… throwing down the gauntlet, Sweetness?"_

"_Indeed I am."_

"_Bring it."_

_So I did._

_But, so did he._

_To the casual passerby (should one happen to walk in), our positions were identical in every way visible. Shoulders squared against the tile wall, heads forward, eyes closed, and mouths barely open. It looked like two people who were lackadaisically relaxing with not a care in the world. But of course, looks couldn't have been any more deceiving._

_Underneath the churning bubbles of the whirlpool's cover, my hand slipped into Edward's swim trunks and took hold of his very stiff cock. Admittedly, it took some maneuvering to get a decent grip without betraying my movements. We were still alone in the whirlpool area, but that didn't mean that anybody couldn't happen upon us at any moment. _

_Not even 2.04 seconds after I grabbed him and started pumping his dick, Edward moved his hand up my thigh, which immediately moved over at his touch – almost like it was a natural reflex. He wriggled his fingers inside my swim suit, finding my clit almost instantaneously. I inhaled a quick breath and bit my lip to keep from moaning out loud. With the perfect amount of pressure, he massaged it in little circles, his ministrations careful and cautious while driving me absolutely insane._

_The sensation of him stroking me coupled with the pressure of the whirlpool was absolutely amazing. I wanted to burst with the pent up adrenaline that was boiling inside my body. Keeping a lid on all of the noises and movements my voice and body wanted to make would level me if I didn't let go soon._

_I met every swirl of my clit with a steady stroke-up stroke-down of his cock. And the faster his fingers flew, the faster my hand pumped, in perfect time with his blissful touches._

_Simultaneously, we turned to one another. No words were spoken. His eyes asked if I was close. Mine did the same. We each gave a look that said "together." _

_My orgasm silently ripped through me, and, save for me shutting my eyes and biting my tongue, my outward expression gave nothing away. I had no idea if Edward was as successful; however, based on the fact that I just barely heard a slight hiss, I would hazard a guess that he was._

_I felt him twitch in my hand and knew that he had climaxed as well. I opened my eyes, incredibly relieved that we were still alone and that no one had discovered us. Edward looked at me with the biggest, sated grin on his face and said with a smirk, "Well that was definitely a first for me. You?"_

"_Uh, yeah. What is it with you and the risk factor of getting caught, by the way? It's like you get all touchy-feely in places where we could get busted." I pointed out, much to his chagrin._

"_Whoa, wait a minute. I take credit for the elevator and my old room. And the sauna - I'd say we're fifty-fifty on that one. But my office and just now? Those are both on you because you started it." He grinned and leaned into me to give me a very sweet, very chaste kiss. After all, we were still trying to keep up appearances._

"_Oh, yeah, I did." I giggled. It was then I glanced down at the bubbles and became disconcerted by the thought of where Edward's orgasmic emissions might be floating. "Um, Edward… I think we should bail before your, uh, spooge makes its way over here." I immediately started pushing the bubbling water away from us and hoped I wasn't making things worse._

"_Good call, although they treat this thing with chemicals every couple of days I think. Come on, let's go." _

The movement next to me pulled me from memory lane and brought me out of my thoughts. Edward stirred, and the covers slipped down to expose his beautifully toned arms and torso. The sight I was privy to at that moment was one that I would brave the river Styx to wake up to every morning.

I couldn't help but remember the night before and smile as I replayed the events in my mind. It had been another fabulous Sunday brunch at the Cullen home, spent with a family that I secretly wished I would one day join; a wish I didn't dare speak of for fear it would disappear. Sadly, there were no more private tours as on that first oh-so-memorable Sunday. We weren't left alone long enough to quell the building need for one another that grew exponentially the longer we were together.

Between our work schedules and making time for friends and family, our physical relationship had cruised comfortably, my steady hands at the wheel. We were together in all of the free time that we had. Sometimes we went out, and sometimes we just wanted to be alone and not share the other with anyone else. Some nights we hung out at my apartment, and some nights we just chilled at his. It really didn't matter as long as we were together. Mushy, yes. Did I fucking care? No.

However, yesterday there had been a shift. We had spent the entire day together, and when the time came that we normally said goodbye, neither one of us was ready for Edward to leave. So I asked him not to. My tentativeness had dissipated; the readiness within me inched forward and closed the distance on my reservations. My confidence in not only myself, but in Edward's feelings for me, had grown immensely over the course of the last few weeks. I didn't question the way he looked at me with affection or the tenderness of his touches anymore.

After the night before, the way his skillful and reassuring hands had calmed me and made me lose myself completely at the same time, I realized I was ready. I had given him more of my body last night, and had taken more of his in return than I ever had before.

It wasn't enough anymore. Not by a long shot.

I knew it was time, not only to give him my whole physical self, but my emotional self as well. The thing I had been protecting the most by not making love to Edward was my heart. He held so much of it in his grasp already, and I knew that the moment he penetrated my body, he would also penetrate the last guarded corners of my heart and soul.

Those were the places I was trying to keep safe; the niches of me where I wasn't quite sure that anyone had ever truly been. I was ready, and as cliché and ridiculous as it sounded, I wanted our first time together to be memorable and perfect. It was sappy in retrospect, but the last almost month had been sublime, and the fairy tale of it all was one step closer to being written.

I was out of reasons why we should wait. He was still here, following my lead, and had never complained once about the nature of our physical relationship.

The only thing on my part that even came close to a concern was the mysterious texts that he received. They always frustrated him, but he shrugged them off and told me it was nothing for me to worry about. I just figured it was something work related and effectively put it out of my mind.

Edward shifted again, only this time he flung his arm over my waist and pulled me close. I snuggled into him and breathed in the comforting smell of him. It was sagey and minty and all laced with morning. I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed circles on his shoulder blade, and my insides tingled from the newness of waking up with Edward. Honestly, I couldn't comprehend how this experience could lose its luster, even if it did become a routine (which I hoped like all hell it would).

"Good morning, Sweetness. How long have you been watching me sleep?"

_Oh fuck me. I'm busted._

"That depends on two things: what time is it and how long have you been awake?"

He glanced at his watch and yawned. "About five minutes to six and I guess a few minutes ago. So, how long?"

"Pass. I'm pleading the fifth. Can I make you a cup of coffee?"

"Well, that depends on two things: what kind of coffee do you have and can you make it from here? I don't want you to move. I like this current arrangement too much." He was gently skimming his hand up and down my thigh, which just so happened to have hitched itself over his hip.

"The answer to the former is Folgers instant; the latter is no." I chuckled and curled myself against him as close as I could get.

"There is no way in hell you are moving from this spot, especially if all the coffee you have is sludge. Seriously, how do you drink that swill?"

"I have no use for a coffee pot for just me, so I boil water and make do with the instant, or sludge as you call it. Besides, I don't like the actual taste of coffee anyway; I just need the caffeine. Really, it's more like a splash of coffee with cream and sugar for me."

"So sad, Ms. Swan, so sad." He laughed and started nibbling my neck. "It's settled then. Today I'm picking you up for lunch and we're going to go buy you a decent coffee pot. If there are going to be more pajama parties in the future, there has to be satisfactory coffee here."

"I think I can handle that." There was no fighting the smile that erupted on my face at the prospect of future sleepovers. _Not that there would be much sleeping going on…_

We cuddled for a little while longer, finally acknowledging that we had to get up at some point. I knew Dr. Cullen would be out of the office today for grand rounds at the hospital and some sort of seminar for a new model of ventilator. I got up to go put my tea kettle on to boil so I could have my cup of swill as Edward put on his clothes.

I offered him a cup anyway, but he just turned up his nose and told me that he would stop by Cafe Ladro on the way to his place. Clearly, he was a coffee snob, but whatever. As wonderful, and satisfying, as our unexpected sleepover had been, I felt bad that I wasn't better prepared for company.

It gave me an idea about planning the perfection of this weekend… I made a mental note to call Hale and Weber when I got to the office so they could help me get my shit together.

Before he left, Edward told me he had a department meeting after his morning class and should be done sometime before noon. He said he'd call me when he was downstairs to pick me up. I told him to have a good morning. The smooth operator replied, "It's been good so far." He gave me a knee-buckling goodbye kiss and left for his condo.

I showered and got dressed, already counting the hours until noon when I would see him again. Once I got to work, I cleared out my voice mail, checked in with Dr. Cullen, and fired up my PC. With Carlisle out of the office for the day, there were no patients to prepare for, which was a nice change of pace. Charlotte, Ms. Cope, and I had decided we would clean out patient charts and do some general reorganization around the office.

I called Rose and Angela to get their input on what I was thinking for the upcoming weekend. I decided that I would cook Edward his favorite dinner, with a little intel from Esme. And then I would serve him a side of me for dessert. And breakfast too. I knew Edward had to have worked up one hell of an appetite by now, and I planned on stuffing him silly.

They both thought it sounded like an excellent plan; however, Rose decided we all had to go shopping because my unmentionables needed some spicing up. I personally didn't think they were that bad, but Rose brought up a good point.

"Look, you've made the guy wait this long Swan; he deserves a present. Give him some sexy wrapping to tear through. That's why we are going to Zovo's to spend ridiculous amounts of money on pretty, frilly things. "

"Oh, and you need to send us smoke signals if you run out of provisions," Angela chimed in. She was so excited she could barely control her enthusiasm. "Somehow I don't see you two emerging from the bubble of your bedroom much this weekend. So, if you run out of stuff, just text one of us and we'll drop off whatever you need. We'll even come up with a secret knock and everything."

"Speak for yourself," Rose chided. "I'm not playing courier service."

"Oh, yes you will, and you're so not gonna bitch about it either Hale. I've seen that naughty UPS delivery get up you have missy. This is a very _big_ weekend for our Beautiful Bird, and we are gonna support her however she needs us to. Comprende?"

"Yes, Weber, I hear you. But that means we want every last detail Swan. No holding out. I want every filthy and sordid point including every 'ooh', 'ahh', and 'yes baby, right there', understood?"

"Fine, fine." I sighed and shook my head. They had put up with my crazy ass since the whole Edward thing started, so truthfully, I did owe them. "You'll get all the juicy stuff on Monday morning – positions, duration – hell, I'll even give you guys an 'o' count if that'll make you happy."

Once all routes had been mapped for the "Tour de Bella's-gonna-get-some", I bade my event planners goodbye and got back to work. I no longer worried about the ramifications if Charlotte or Ms. Cope overheard about my involvement with Edward. They had been apprised of the situation and were very supportive of our relationship. I worked very hard to maintain a high level of professionalism and tried not to discuss Edward at work very often. Likewise, when I was spending time with Edward and his family, I made a concerted effort not to talk shop. I didn't want the lines blurred. That would only serve to make things messier down the road.

The remainder of the morning zoomed by amidst the house cleaning and reorganization of the office. The few patient calls I handled were simple and, all in all, I was grateful for the easy going day it had been. It was no time at all before my phone alerted me of the text to let me know that Edward was outside waiting for me. I made a quick exit and raced downstairs, unable to keep my jubilation in check when I hopped into the Rover.

Extremely excited, I clued Edward in on the majority of what I had planned for the upcoming weekend. I was certain he had figured it out, even though I tried really hard not to give everything away. The look on his face was especially animated when I told him I wanted to forgo the Cullen Sunday Brunch and begin the new tradition of 'Edward-and-Bella-Naked-Sunday'. His face lit up like the Fourth of July when I made it very clear I would be holding him captive at _my_ apartment all weekend.

We grabbed a quick bite of lunch at Zao's before heading over to Target, or the Sword of Damocles as I liked to call the crazy place, to procure a coffee pot that met Edward's approval. Of course, we bickered over which model to buy. I wanted to go the inexpensive route with the GE five-cup job for twenty bucks, but Edward, in true coffee snob fashion, insisted on the Keurig single cup brewing getup.

I told him there was no way in creation that I was paying one-hundred dollars for a coffee the flippant reply "of course not", Edward lulled me into a false sense of security and I thought I'd won the battle. Before I knew what had happened, he grabbed the Cadillac of coffee makers, sprinted up towards the front, and stopped at one of the self check-out stands. He was so damned fast that by the time I caught up to him, it was already a done deal.

I tried to be pissed, I really did, but I had to stifle my laughter at the domestic nature of our first squabble. To be miffed about a kitchen appliance, albeit an insanely overpriced one, was silly, and I just couldn't find it within me to stay mad.

All the way back to the office, Edward wore a smug expression, which I didn't let bother me in the least seeing as how it was so precious. He tried to get me to divulge the finer points of what I had in store for the weekend, but, much to his dismay, I kept them to myself.

Right as we pulled into the parking lot of the office building, his phone rang. "It's Ben Cheney, one of my colleagues from the school." He parked and answered the call, "Hey Ben, what's going on?" He paused for a few moments and nodded. "Ok, hold just a sec Ben." He covered the phone and said, "Hey, Sweetness, I need to talk to Ben for a minute. Why don't you go ahead upstairs? If you'll leave me your keys, I'll put your new toy in your car and meet you up there. That way I can say hello to Charlotte and Ms. Cope."

I handed him my keys and leaned over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. All the way upstairs I thought about how lucky I was and how falling like this finally wasn't so scary. This new feeling of security surrounded me like a warm, fuzzy blanket fresh out of the dryer. My entire life I'd waited to feel this way about someone else; to lose myself completely in that person, while not totally losing my way.

As I stepped out of the elevator, I noticed a woman coming out of our office. I recognized Heidi, the drug rep who brought us medication samples. She worked for GlaxoSmithKline, and I'd met her shortly after I started working for Dr. Cullen. I wondered why she was here, but then realized that she hadn't been by in a couple of months and probably had quite a bit of product samples for us.

"Hi, Bella, how are you?" She smiled and propped the rolling case with all her stuff against the wall.

"Just fine Heidi. How about yourself? We haven't seen you in awhile. Where have you been?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm great, just been doing a lot of traveling lately, which is why I haven't been around. I was training new reps out in the field, but I'm done with that, thank goodness. It'll be nice to be in one place for more than a few days finally and get back to my regular clients. Speaking of which, I came by to see if Dr. Cullen was free for lunch, but the ladies inside said he was out the rest of the day."

"Yes, he's at the hospital in some sort of demo for a new ventilator they might start using. Did you want me to have him call you? I'm sure I'll be talking to him sometime soon."

"That would be great. I'd really appreciate it."

It was at that exact moment that several things happened. It was a twisted chain of events, and they unfolded in a manner too fast for me to accurately process, yet so slowly that I stood frozen and unable to move. I heard the elevator doors open and I knew it was Edward because I felt the electric current that buzzed between us on a continual basis, but the look in Heidi's eyes when she saw him was one of excitement and longing; an expression that I was certain resembled the way that I usually looked at him.

She darted past me and grabbed him, pulling Edward to her in a heated kiss. And this kiss was definitely one of familiarity.

_What the hell?_

I couldn't make sense of what was taking place before me until she pulled back from him and caressed his face, which at that moment looked shell-shocked. "Edward, I have missed you so much! Haven't you been getting my messages and texts? I've been away traveling, but I'm back now, and, ugh, you have no idea how badly I wanted to see you. I don't know about you, but I'm anxious to get back to exploring all of those possibilities you said you were so open to."

"Heidi, I… uh… I, I…," Edward stammered, his eyes darting from my face to hers.

"Don't you remember? You told me you were all in and wanted to see where things led between us, if my memory serves correctly. My work sort of screwed that up, but I'd like to pick up where we left off."

At those words, I couldn't listen anymore.

_I'd heard almost the same exact thing almost a month earlier that night in the sauna._

Edward knew her, quite well and intimately from what I gathered, and he'd clearly become bored with her because she was the one who'd been texting. She was the situation he had obviously been hoping would go away if he continued to ignore her. Only she hadn't.

And then, as if I'd fallen from a two-story building, the realization hit me that I would most likely be Heidi in a matter of weeks, maybe even days. Once we crossed the threshold of a sexual relationship, no doubt he would become bored with me and be done. The thrill of the chase would be gone and he would wish for my absence. Only I couldn't disappear because his father was my boss.

I had to go. I had to get out of there. I couldn't continue to watch what I was sure was destined to be my own awkward fate with Edward.

So I grabbed my keys (which Edward had dropped when Heidi had attacked him) off the floor and took the stairs. I wasn't going to fucking wait for the elevator and keep watching that shit.

I ran as fast as I could out to my car. I didn't look back to even see if Edward had followed me for fear that I would suffer the same fate as Lot's wife and be frozen like a pillar of salt. I grabbed my phone, first calling the office to tell the ladies that I'd come down with food poisoning and was going home. I then called Carlisle, luckily getting his voicemail, and prayed that Edward hadn't gotten to him first. I left a similar message to Carlisle and told him I'd be back in the office tomorrow. I also told him that Heidi had dropped by wanting to take him for lunch and he needed to call her. How I managed not to fucking choke when I said her name I don't know.

I also had no idea how I was going to face Carlisle the next day. I was pretty sure he'd know the truth by then.

All I knew is that I had to go somewhere, anywhere, and think. I needed to be alone. It was imperative that I stop what was going on and regain my sense of direction. I indeed had lost my way. I didn't know how, but I definitely had to find it again, no matter what it took.

* * *

Ruh-roh….

A/N: *peeks out of hiding in my closet* So, yeah. Please don't hate the player, hate the game, k? On the upside, we know who was sending those texts now, right? For the record, I am an HEA gal. But you guys know the bubble had to splat a little; otherwise things would be boring, yeah?

Wanna know what harmonious porn Bella threw at Edward? It's Halestorm's "I Get Off". Listen at your own risk. You may be tempted to do naughty things. RAWR. http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=4l14naR3dJQ

Endless thanks to my super cool and awesome betas **IHateCleanBreaks** and **Stratan**. You guys are golden for cleaning up my mess.

A huge merci beau coup to **lisamichelle17**, for keeping my non-Seattle-knowin-ass in line.

As always to **RoseArcadia**, my PM and proverbial hand-holder. I would be a wreck if not for her. She is pretty much my co-pilot.

I can't say it enough: I adore the shit out of you lovelies that are reading this. I want to squeeze the stuffing out of everyone who has put my mess on alert. And to those that leave me the luvin, you make my heart smile like you wouldn't believe. *noms and snuggles*


	7. Chapter 7 Stop Me If You Think You've

**Disclaimer: "M" people. Learn it, love it, live it. Underage? Please and thank you hit the lovely "X" in the corner and see your way outta here. Still Stephanie, but not her; therefore Twilight isn't mine and I'm not hella rich. Boohoo tar-tar. **

A/N#1: Trust… got it? Good. Let's plow.

**Chapter 7– Stop Me if You Think You've Heard This One Before**

**EPOV**

_Motherfuckingshit. Sonofacocksuckingbitch._

I was fucked three ways from Sunday and had not a clue how to fix the shit storm I'd created. If there were ever a time when I needed the ability to split myself in two, or three, if I were being truthful, it would be right now. It would take three of me, at the very least, to try and repair the damage I'd done from my inactions.

One of me needed to run after Bella and attempt, as futile as such an effort might be, to make her understand the situation. I just needed the chance to explain that my involvement with Heidi had been brief, fleeting and way before I knew Bella at all. As soon as Heidi had spoken _those words, _every right and true thing I had with Bella had exploded in my face. I knew that the second she took off.

The second me needed to deal with Heidi and make it clear that there weren't any possibilities to explore, at least not with her. I didn't want to be cruel or act like a prick, but I couldn't believe that she hadn't taken my lack of response as a hint that I wasn't interested. However, as badly as I wanted to be mad at her, it was my own stupidity that had me so incensed. I was furious with _myself_.

The third me needed to call my dad and tell him what had transpired. That I had fucked up and Bella had fled without so much as a backward glance. Maybe he could make her come back here and talk to me. _Who was I kidding? _My dad would most definitely not get involved, except maybe to kick my ass. I'd never told him about Heidi and how we'd hooked up after that hospital charity gala last winter. It might have been pertinent to mention that I'd had some dalliances with his drug rep, but then she hadn't called me, and I hadn't called her, so I hadn't seen the point.

Then the texts had started (on the night I'd met Bella no less) and after that the voice mails; I had prayed to God that she'd go away if I ignored her. Apparently His Holiness decided it best I reap what I had sown. Hence the situation that stood before me with a questioning look on her face.

"Look, Heidi," I began. My head dropped as I placed my hands on her shoulders. "There's no easy way to say this, other than to just be honest and direct, which is really what I should have done when you first texted me. We had fun, yes, and there was some good chemistry there, but I'm not in a position to date you right now. I'm seeing someone."

"When did this happen?" She questioned, quite taken aback by my statement.

"Right around the time that you first texted me wanting to catch up. Look, I know I should have told you, but at first I didn't know where this thing was headed. We've only recently defined anything, and at that point, I really thought you'd take my silence as a hint. That was really shitty of me, I know, but I haven't done the relationship thing in so long; I've sort of forgotten the rules."

"Rules don't have anything to do with it, Edward." She frowned and scolded me like a twelve year old who had neglected his chores. "It's a matter of courtesy and consideration. As disappointed as I am that you're unavailable, all you had to do was tell me the truth. I'm a big girl and can take care of myself."

"I know, I know. I should have handled the situation with so much more maturity than I did. I hope you can accept my apology for being such a dick." I gave her what I'm pretty sure was a half-assed smile to match the lame-ass apology.

"On the condition that you pull your head out of your ass and show the woman you're involved with some respect." She paused for a second before she spoke again. I was convinced that I was about to get a massive verbal beat down (that was richly deserved). "Looks are only skin deep Edward. Let your heart be the most attractive thing about you, okay? Soulless man meat is a dime a dozen. Gorgeous both inside and out? That, Edward, is priceless."

I was astonished that Heidi chose to impart wisdom instead of bitch slaps, and equally as thankful. I had never realized, or given proper credit to, the fact that she was a class act. I should have paid better attention, because I would have just manned up and been honest, instead of handling things in such a shitty manner.

We said our goodbyes and told the other to take care. I walked her out to her car and thanked her again for being so cool and forgiving in light of my assholish behavior. I got in my car and dialed my dad's number at lightening speed. Of course, I got his voicemail.

"Hey Dad, its Edward. Look, I need you to call me when you get a break. I, umm…, I fucked up really bad and Bella took off. She's not at your office; although I'm sure she's called and left you a reason as to why. Whatever it was, it's bullshit. It's my fault. Just call me, and I'll explain."

Immediately after I hung up, I called Bella's cell. Pretty much like I figured, she didn't answer, and I was forced to leave her a message. "Bella, Sweetness, please give me a chance to explain what the hell that was back there. I'm so sorry. Please. I don't want to do this in a message. I need to see you. Please, let me fix this. Please, let me make this better. _Just please_. Call me."

That word _please _was like a crazy mantra, a hope that I clung to; that maybe she would hear the desperation in my voice and give in and call me. Quite frankly, I didn't know what petrified me more: that I was scared of the havoc I'd caused or that I cared so fucking much about what I'd most likely (but hoped like hell I hadn't) lost as a result of it.

It almost seemed like I was on autopilot. Like if I didn't keep forward motion I would lose my sanity and give way to the crazed and irrational idiot that raged inside of me. If I were to let him call the shots, he'd call the police and report Bella as a missing person so Seattle's finest would pick her up and bring her to me. Like I said, irrational idiot. They'd likely lock my ass up for being a danger to myself and others.

I drove around for who knows how the fuck long before it hit me that I should just go to Bella's apartment. She had to come home at some point, right? Then it occurred to me that maybe that's exactly where she'd gone in the first place. Even if she wouldn't let me in, she could at least hear me out, if only from the other side of the door.

I sped over there as I prayed to St. Christopher (maybe that guy would have mercy on me) to make it there in one piece. That was one advantage of having dated a devout Catholic – I knew exactly which saint I needed to pray to. Apparently, the patron saint of transportation decided my stupid ass worthy, because I made it to her apartment unscathed. Or, maybe he decided the other poor bastards on the streets were the ones who needed protection from me. Either way, I made it there.

I glanced around the parking lot looking for her little Camry, but didn't see it. _Damn. I really hoped that she'd run here. _With nothing else more important to do, I drug my miserable self to her front door, grabbed some concrete, and resolved to wait until she showed up. I was so concerned with the fubardness at hand that the ring of my phone about sent me into static shock.

"Bella!" I yelped and tried to squash down the lump in my throat that was locked in a battle royale with my stomach and heart when I answered.

"No son, it's your father. I just got your message. What the hell is wrong? Bella left me a voice mail saying she had food poisoning and was headed home. Then I get yours telling me that it's bullshit. What happened?"

With an exhaled breath that almost left me void of a pulse, I sat coiled on the concrete at Bella's doorstep and tried to figure out how to explain this to my dad. I started at the beginning. I recounted to him the night at the hospital gala that I met Heidi and we hooked up. I knew he had seen me talking to her, but he absolutely didn't see us leave together. He was clueless that we had been out a couple of times, and of course totally in the dark that Heidi and I had been as intimate as two consenting adults could get.

I distinctly heard him clear his throat; the word "Continue" was all he said. I told him how I had just stopped hearing from Heidi all together and had figured that maybe she wasn't as interested in me as I thought and put her out of my mind. A couple of months had passed and when she finally contacted me again, I had just started seeing Bella.

I told my dad, admittedly as chicken shit or negligent as it was, that I'd hoped by ignoring the texts and voicemails that Heidi would take the hint. "Well, it makes sense why she wanted to take me for lunch then. Heidi normally just drops off samples and leaves. Perhaps she was trying to get in contact with you through me. How did Heidi take your explanation?"

"Oh Dad, she was so much classier than I deserved. I would have slapped me at the very least. Hell, I want to slap myself right now." I found myself scanning the parking lot, with the desperate hope that Bella would magically appear. "What am I going to do? Bella won't answer my calls. I'm sitting here in front of her door like a lunatic without a fucking clue as to what my next move should be."

"Edward, I want you to be honest with me. Before I can give you any solid advice, I need to know how you feel about Bella."

I paused and organized my thoughts so that my feelings didn't come out in a mass of drivel. "Dad, as corny as it sounds, my gut screams that she's the one. I look at Bella and I see ten, twenty, hell, fifty years down the road. I see kids and dance recitals at Aunt Alice's and soccer with Uncle Em. My heart wants to fucking stop when I try and picture my life without her. I want everything with Bella. And shit, saying _that _word scares the hell out of me because it's only been a month."

"Do you think that you might lo- "

"I don't know, Dad. I don't know. I only know that this feeling is different. Bella makes me want to be better, to be worthy of her. I've let her guide the entire pace of this relationship, which, you know me, I don't do. I only want her happiness. I haven't been that way about anyone since, well, you know…," my voice trailed off as the reality of just how long it had been since I had been truly vested in another person hit me.

"Yeah, son, I know. Bree. But, that was a long time ago, and you're a lot older. My suggestion is this: leave her in control. Explain to her what you've told me, and as hard as it may be, let the call be Bella's. Earn her trust back. If you truly feel as strongly about her as you say, then proving yourself won't be an issue. Just give her some time and be patient. Trust me; it will all work out in the end."

"I hope like hell you're right, Dad. "

"When are you going to have some faith in your old man?" He chuckled before he paused, and I knew there was going to be some sort of "and" or "but". "However, I do hope this little incident has taught you something. You'll better yourself by learning from it."

"Thanks Dad. I appreciate you listening. Does Mom know?"

"No, I haven't said a word. It's your business to tell, not mine."

"Have I told you that I want to be you when I grow up?"

"No son, you haven't; thank you. But, do me a favor and be better than me, okay? There's room for betterment in all of us."

We hung up and I wondered where there was room for improvement in a man as upstanding as my father. He was the bar for which I'd set my life, and it was so damned high, I felt like I would be climbing forever to reach it. I sat there, the pathetic lump that I was, with the overriding hope that I could repair this before I had to tell my family what had happened with Bella.

I knew my mom and Alice would be disappointed, especially Alice. She'd always wanted a sister, and it didn't escape my notice that there was a burgeoning closeness between the two of them. My mom, Alice, and Bella (or my three girls as I like to refer to them) spent a lot time together during our Sunday brunches, and the growing bond among my three girls was apparent.

Then, there was Emmett. Shit, I didn't even want to think about what he would say if he caught wind of this. He'd either thump my skull for not listening to him, or try and snag Bella for himself. There was a strong possibility he would attempt both, and that made my stomach churn as I tried not to dwell on the latter.

In an attempt to misdirect my brain from the ridiculous bullshit it was trying to conjure up, I flipped through my phone, looking through some of the pictures I'd taken over the past few weeks. I was astounded at how many I'd taken since Bella and I had started dating. This was the first time I'd taken the opportunity to look through all of them.

There were the silly ones of her holding that huge fish from the day that we'd gone down to the market to get dinner. She made the funniest face and joked how Charlie had made her pose with aquatic life for as long as she could remember. The ones of us on the paddleboats on the lake made me smile as much as I could at that particular moment. I stifled a laugh as I remembered her bitching that I was hell enough on her quads in class, let alone making her utilize them on what was supposed to be a fun outing.

My favorite ones were those that she hadn't even known I'd taken; the shots of her sitting at the table at my parent's house with my mom and Alice having coffee; the way she held her head cocked to the side when she was deep in conversation, the congenial smile always present on her face that radiated warmth and comfort. Admittedly, the one of her looking through incriminating photo albums with my mom made my heart stutter a little. The look of sheer amusement mixed with affection as she stared at the various stages of my youth was an image that would stay with me always.

But the picture in particular that stopped my heart cold was the one I took of her sleeping. She had fallen asleep on my couch while we were watching a movie. I had been rubbing her feet when I noticed the faintest sort of whistling sound coming from the other end. Bella looked so peaceful and breathtakingly gorgeous while she slept that I just couldn't resist grabbing a digital still of my girl.

I couldn't say how long I watched her sleep. Time really didn't have much meaning at that point as I was held completely entranced by my very own Sleeping Beauty (okay, Bella isn't a blonde and that's sappy as fuck, but I was feeling damn sentimental and determined to revel in it). I looked down at my phone and recalled how she would shift slightly then nuzzle the pillow with her cheek, a soft "psshhh" sound rolled from her mouth in an exhale.

I refused to dwell on the possibility that this image is all I would ever have of Bella in slumber. Instead, I grasped at a more positive possibility: that we could work through this misunderstanding. That I could explain things and we could move forward, together. That I could have my Sleeping Bella with me more often, perhaps on a permanent basis sometime in the future.

Had it really only been fifteen hours ago that we'd been so ridiculously blissful? Honestly, I couldn't have scripted a more perfect day if I'd tried. Sunday brunch with my family was no longer the exhaustive appointment it had been before Bella became a part of my world. I had enjoyed every moment (some more than others, the horny bastard within smugly added) spent with her and having watched how seamlessly she fit in with my family only intensified my feelings for her.

I hadn't cared enough to bring another woman to my parent's house; not since Bree and I were together all those years ago. But we were kids then, and that seemed like another lifetime; it was sure another Edward. As I'd grown older, I'd gotten so jaded when it came to women and relationships. I really couldn't even explain why. All I knew was that the indifference was gone now that Bella was in my life.

Seeing her walk through the garden with my mom, the way she listened so intently as Esme rambled on and on (and on and on) about the different flowers and the hows and the whys of the ones she'd decided to plant, was so endearing. Hearing her deep in conversation with Alice and the way Bella would throw her head back in laughter at some of the funny stories about working with temperamental NFL cheerleaders made my heart swell. It was amazing to watch.

In fact, she got along so well with everyone that I found it difficult to share her. So when we'd left my parents house yesterday afternoon, we'd decided that we would do dinner and a movie at her place and just relax for the rest of the night. Neither one of us really wanted to go out. We'd spent almost the entire day with my family and the need to be alone with each other was really intense.

We'd stopped at the grocery store on the way to her apartment to grab stuff to make pizza, and dammit if something as trivial as navigating the supermarket wasn't fun and entertaining with Bella. Especially the way she'd gotten a little huffy at the cashier who made the grave mistake of batting her way-too-made-up eyes at me. Bella wasn't a huge fan of PDA, but the minute Ms. Bright Blue Eye Shadow started flirting, Bella felt the need to wrap her arms around my waist and rest her head on my shoulder.

Then with a clever smirk she looked at me and cooed, "Just so you know, you'll be feeding me the Cherry Garcia because I have no self control where that stuff is concerned." She nodded to the pint of Ben and Jerry's that the cashier just happened to be scanning at that very moment. Before I could tell her it would be my pleasure to feed her whatever her heart desired, she looked right at the check-out girl, then turned to me and said, "Or you could just work it off me. I'll let you decide."

_Fuck, I loved Jealous Bella! _

As much as I adored the beautiful hue of the blush she usually wore, the tint of chartreuse when she was being possessive was a turn-on and hotter than the flames of Hades. And right about then, the horny bastard was waving a pitchfork and giving the gentleman the bird. I eyed that pint of Ben & Jerry's like it was manna from above.

Once we got back to Bella's and changed into our "slob attire" as she liked to call it, we adjourned to the kitchen to make our pizza. Being a bachelor, I didn't do an enormous amount of cooking, but I was also Esme Cullen's son and her obsession with cooking shows (they ran the gamut of that Cajun dude Justin Wilson to Rachel Ray, who was pretty hot), so I did know my way around the kitchen to a certain extent. We even worked as a balanced unit, which was further proof in my mind that we were compatible on just about every level imaginable. We sliced and diced in perfect harmony, and I relished the ease and comfort of being with Bella like this.

I suppose I should have been alarmed that something as simple as making dinner and hanging out with Bella was making me an emo bitch – at least that's what pre-Bella Edward would have thought about my sentiments. I just couldn't find it in me to care that this woman had changed my views so radically on relationships in such a short time frame. I'd never truly enjoyed the simple things because I'd never allowed any prior involvements to get to that stage, at least not in a really long time.

Once the pizza was finished, we'd bantered about what movie we should watch. Bella had teased that it was high time to prove my devotion to her by watching a chick flick. I told her that was fine, but a thriller would allow for better cuddling. And so "Silence of the Lambs" it was. We'd both seen it a gazillion times before, just never together. I had never been so thankful for Hannibal the Cannibal and Buffalo Bill because I knew that it wouldn't be long before Bella took up residence in my lap.

_God Bless fava beans and nice Chianti's… _

Truth be told, I enjoyed watching Bella watch the movie more than anything. Her wide-eyed stare and subtle gasps were so cute that I found it really hard not to chuckle at her reactions to a movie she could basically quote the dialogue to verbatim. But the thing I dug above all else was the way she nuzzled into me at the parts that really scared her. Again, so damned cute.

I decided it was time to make good on the whole Cherry Garcia feeding frenzy and excused myself to the kitchen get the ice cream and a spoon. I resumed my position on the end of the couch; Bella nestled with her back against me. Before I could give her a bite she asked, "So, are you feeding me or working it off?"

"Yes." I nodded with the "I-get-what-I-want-grin" that got to her every time.

"Yes to which one?"

"Both actually," I smugly replied.

"I don't remember that being an option, Edward."

_Hmmm. She's a bit feisty tonight. Delicious._

"Well, seeing as how I have the goods and therefore control the caloric intake, I've decided to play that to my benefit. I'll make sure you eat enough that it's absolutely necessary that I work it off you."

"Have you no shame?"

"Not an ounce."

"At least you're honest. In that case, time's a wastin' and the ice cream's a meltin'… I think you better get busy, sir."

"Why yes ma'am," I threw out my best Jasper-like southern drawl.

Serial killers and FBI agents all but forgotten, Bella angled her body so I could feed her a bit easier. I dug the spoon into the ice cream and made sure that the bite was of decent size. "Open wide," I said with a smirk I was quite sure betrayed the double entendre of my words.

There was no denying the reaction my body had as I fed Bella. The image of Bella's lips as they wrapped around the spoonfuls of ice cream coupled with the 'ummfff" that vibrated down her throat went straight to my dick. I was pretty sure she felt my enjoyment of the whole situation because she glanced down for a brief second, and a knowing grin appeared on her face. I shrugged my shoulders as if to say, "Yes, he's awake. He has a mind of his own."

I decided to taunt her a little. "Maybe I shouldn't let you have too much considering it's getting kind of late. I wouldn't want to upset your tummy before bedtime. I wouldn't feel right going off and leaving you in such a shape."

And then sweet bing cherries and big chunks o'chocolate, Bella bit her lower lip and whispered, "Then don't go. Stay."

"Really?" I knew it was her suggestion, but I wanted to make sure her offer wasn't a joke, that she truly didn't want me to leave. "You're sure?"

"Mmm-hmmm." She nodded slightly and smiled.

"I'd like nothing more." I dipped the spoon yet again into the pint of Ben & Jerry's that was half gone at that point. I started to bring the spoon to her lips, but decided to tease her a little and moved the spoon toward my mouth instead. Bella gave me a wicked little smile and grabbed my wrist to redirect the bite back to her and, of course, I resisted. She shimmied up my body to get closer to the spoon, effectively bringing herself in better proximity to my lips as her body rubbed against my own. I had to admit, my dick was ecstatic to get some sort of friction.

"Didn't your mother teach you to share with your guests Bella?" I quipped as I held the bite close to my mouth.

"Didn't your mother teach you it was impolite to be a tease?"

"I suggest a compromise then. This bite is big enough for the both of us, I think." With that, I pulled her to me and placed my mouth on one side of the spoon, just as Bella did the same opposite me. Our mouths full of ice cream; I moved the spoon and brought my lips to hers.

Our tongues lapped against one another purling the sweet cream around our mouths as we not only swallowed the bite, but almost each other. I moved slightly to set the carton and spoon on the coffee table as Bella shifted (yet again against my very thankful cock) so that she was lying flush on top of me. I pulled her as close to me as I possibly could, just as her fingers wove into my hair.

As sweet and delicious as the ice cream was, the flavor was no where near as savory and satisfying as Bella. I reveled in the combined sensations of the feel of her body pressed firmly against my own and the taste of her skin against my taste buds. "Mmm," I murmured into her open mouth. "As delicious as the Cherry Garcia is, I'll take you over it any day."

"Remember when I said I had no self control where that stuff was concerned at the grocery store?"

"Mmm-hmmm," was the only response I could formulate as Bella had started to kiss and suck on my neck.

"Well," she purred, and her lips vibrated against me, "the same applies to you, only it's like a hundred times worse."

"I see no reason to keep yourself in check then. I have far less calories and am infinitely healthier for you than ice cream, so feel free to indulge all you want."

"I believe I will."

She slid her hands down my torso, which caused me to flinch a little, and brought one of them down to palm my very happy dick. Bella adjusted herself back on her heels and brought her hands to the waistband of my shorts and tugged them down my legs. The horny bastard was about ready to hip-check the gentleman out of the way until Mr. Manners decided it would be downright rude to refuse such a generous offer.

She tossed my shorts and boxers on the floor, and my very hard cock sprang free and anxiously awaited Bella's mouth or hand, whichever she was willing to utilize. It didn't matter at that moment as long as there was some sort of utilization taking place. I fucking loved the hungry look on her face, the way she eye fucked my dick like it was it was a damned porterhouse or something. Well, it sort of was, truth be told…

Bella grabbed my shaft and with a devilish grin stated, "You are absolutely right Edward. This is so much more filling and satisfying." Wasting no time at all, Bella planted her very plump and juicy lips around my head, running her tongue around the tip. There was no stifling the "ugghhhh" that erupted from my chest, and really, why in all hell would I have wanted to? The more sound I made, the more into things Bella got. It was a win all the way around.

I reached down and threaded my fingers into her gorgeous brunette tresses, just the way she liked me to when she was going down on me. Again, another win/win situation for the both of us because she loved me guiding her head to the rhythm I wanted I much as I did. The sight of her sucking my cock, moaning and humming around my shaft was so magnificent, it was almost transcendental.

And then suddenly, I was overcome with the need to taste her as well. We'd never talked about the 'seventy-minus-one' position and if that was something that she would even be comfortable trying. I immediately thought back to that night in the whirlpool and how we'd climaxed together. I wanted to do that again because reaching simultaneous orgasm with Bella was fucking mind blowing. The fact that we'd had to remain quiet didn't detract from the experience, but I had the sneaking suspicion that, within the privacy of her place, allowing ourselves to be vocal in our pleasure would be categorically earth shattering.

I fought the urge to explode in her mouth as my mind filled with the thoughts of sampling some 'buffet-de-Bella'. My tightened grip in her hair halted her movements around my cock; the look on her face silently asked me why the hell I'd stopped her.

"Bella," I choked out in a throaty grunt. "I want... I want some of you… r-right now." I almost didn't get my request out as Bella was still pumping my shaft with her hand.

"You mean, you want to… me… at the same time?"

"Fuck, Bella, yes. I want us to get there together. I want to make you feel every bit as good as you make me feel. Is that something you want to try or does that make you uncomfortable?"

She looked equal parts timid and aroused, and I waited patiently for her to decide which one was going to win out. I absolutely didn't want to push her to do something that she wasn't at ease with, but definitely wanted to explore new areas of our physical relationship. It was her choice, always her choice.

"I think I'd really love to do that with you." She side-stepped off the couch, removing her cut-off sweat pants, and her panties; Bella was now naked from the waste down. _Ahh, yes._ That vision floored me every time. I didn't want to get ahead of myself, but longed for the day when I could see her entire body without a stitch of clothing so I could worship her properly. As badly as I wanted to ask her to remove her top, I let her remain in control. I figured if she wanted to lose her shirt, then she would do so.

"Come here," I motioned for her to move towards me and turn her around. I scooted myself down so that I was laying flat on the couch. Bella straddled my chest, and whispered, "Where do you want me?"

I pulled her hips to my face, placed a kiss on the upper backside of her thigh and said, "Right here, Sweetness, right here." The nickname I had for her had never been more apropos than it was right now.

I let her get herself into position as she rested her upper body on my legs and took my impatient member in her steady hand. I placed soft and gentle kissed along her thighs and ass cheeks . The simultaneous actions of Bella taking me between her lips and me running my tongue along her very wet slit was damn near explosive. The very second she plunged my shaft in her mouth, my hips bucked upward, and I could feel myself hit the back of her throat. In a movement that mirrored my own, Bella ground her pelvis against my face the instant she felt my tongue against her. My face was buried in Bella's deliciousness, and I couldn't give a rat's ass about asphyxiation. This was fucking heaven because the guttural moan that emanated from the both of us was as spiritual of a hymn as I'd ever heard.

I told her how fucking sweet she tasted, that I wanted to guzzle every last droplet of herself that she had to give. I wanted it all, and I wanted it for keeps. I tongued her clit and slipped two fingers inside her; they glided in and out with ease, so I added one more. And even though I would wait without argument, I really couldn't wait to get my cock in there.

Of course, she had to go and groan when I stretched her a little more with the third finger. The added sensation caused her to add some sensation of her own because she concurrently scraped her teeth and squeezed my shaft with her hand upwards before she gently nibbled my very sensitive tip. That almost did me in.

With increasing speed, I intensified the undulations of my fingers and made the plunges a little harder to match the rocking of her hips against my mouth. I could tell she was on the verge because she had also intensified her pace to match the pulse of my thrusts against her hand and mouth.

Admittedly, my cunnilingual penmanship was superb. Besides the word mine, the word _always _and the phrase _my property_ were among my favorite things to write with complete oral dexterity against her clit. In my mind, this area of her body would only ever belong to me.

We were so close now, and I could feel the tightening muscles in my abdomen signal that I was almost home. "Bella, baby, I'm so… ahhhh… nearly there. Pl-please let go now. Come for me, honey. _Come with me_," I begged, unashamed because I needed her with me on this.

In a move that I knew would get her there, I grazed her clit with my teeth while my fingers still pounded furiously inside of her, and then I felt her walls tighten around my fingers in sync with my own release, and I exploded into her mouth as I felt her water into mine. It was pure fucking bliss; both of us taking and giving equally, both spent and basking in the orgasmic afterglow.

She moved herself so that she was lying back on top of me. For the next several minutes, we held each other; gentle kisses and softly spoken wows passed between us until we realized that we needed to try and get some sleep. We got ready for bed, and I was overcome with the excitement of holding Bella all night in my arms. We talked and laughed into the wee hours of the morning, until Bella finally gave up and drifted off to sleep. Her head buried in my chest, I kissed her forehead gently and told her, "You don't know how long I've waited for you. Now that you're here, I'm never letting you go." This was where she was meant to be; this was where she was meant to stay.

And I knew with every thing in me, I had to get her to understand how much I needed her. We could get past this misunderstanding of the Heidi ordeal. I couldn't lose her now. I wouldn't. I refused to let go of the best thing that had ever happened to me and the happiness that Bella brought to my life.

The approaching footsteps got my attention and my head snapped up to see a slightly puffy-eyed and very red-nosed Bella standing over me. That sight nearly ripped my heart out of my fucking chest. It was one that I never wanted to see ever again. Before I could get a single word out, she very flatly said, "Come inside Edward. We need to talk."

* * *

Thanks again to **RoseArcadia **for being my PM & #1 Chica. A bazillion IOU's to my two wonderful beta's **IHateCleanBreaks **and **Stratan **for dealing with my lunacy. They're up for sainthood, seriously.

A tip of the hat to **lisamichelle17 **for all the Seattle 411.

A huge thank you to **JennC32 **for suggesting my little ditty for the readalong on the Twitter (big squeezes to you bb). *waves hi to all who got here by way of the readalong*

I love you all, but I'm running back to my pantry now. It's quiet and I have lots of Coco Puffs.


	8. Chapter 8 No Direction

**Disclaimer: This is still "M". I could try and pass this off as a "T", but highly doubt I'd get away with it. As for me, I have the same first name and the same color hair; however, if I tried to pass myself off as her, I'd get laughed at and charged with identity theft. Translation: the franchise does not belong to me, nor do the players. Snap. I just like to make them live in the world inside my head.**

A/N#1: If you feel the need for Haterade, I won't begrudge you. Just please have faith. George Michael does. See ya below.

**Chapter 8 – No Direction**

**BPOV**

I had no idea why I escaped to the location I'd chosen for my refuge. Needing to find some clarity was at the forefront of my mind. All of the sudden my decision seemed like a pretty shitty one given my emotional well being just then. While it was picturesque and serene, it was also on the cruel side given the fact I still felt gut punched and found it hard to breathe.

The remote corners of the botanical gardens at U-Dub were the calmest and most relaxing place I could think of to clear my aching brain. And heart. I also figured that it would be impossible to find me. Not that anyone was looking for me anyway. Honestly, I didn't _want _to be found by anyone else until I found myself first.

My phone was off. There was no way I was answering it right now. Not for anyone. I needed to take this time to get my head on straight because it felt fucking sideways at the moment. I was angry. I was hurt. I was confused. I wanted to yell and scream. I wanted to cry and wail. I wanted to take a hatchet to the rhododendrons that had the nerve to look so beautiful when everything felt so ugly.

It seemed the only thing I could do was sit there on the park bench and stare blankly at the blooming magnolias as I tried to figure out what to do next. The thought about calling Rose or Angela popped into my head, but that seemed like a really bad idea upon further consideration. Rose would most likely send out a search party for Edward's testicles, while Angela on the other hand would plot and strike when least expected. _It was always the quiet ones…_

Still quite shell-shocked, all I knew was that it was really fucking unpoetic as shit that I ran to the one place that was overwrought with beauty and harmony. I'd never had to deal with something this unsightly and never felt more out of balance. The purity of the bird chirps were taunting and the colorful flowers glared in a very droll way at me and the grey cloud that hung over my head. I was about ready to bust out with the 'I guess I'll go eat worms' song.

As if I wasn't tortured enough, I replayed the whole scene between Edward and Heidi in my head like the worst part of a really bad made-for-TV-movie. The way she kissed him so passionately cut me deep because I had showered him with kisses just as intense for the last month. The look on his face was one of disbelief and bewilderment. I wondered if perhaps the reason he didn't stop her was because he was caught so off guard.

And then she said _those words._ The very ones that he'd said to me. Who was I kidding? Of course I wasn't special. I'd said that all along, but damn it all to hell if he hadn't made me feel that way. Especially with all the "Sweetness" business. Quite frankly, Heidi looked much more the type to complement Edward, at least in comparison to me.

It still didn't change the fact that I was stunned and hurt; so I did the only thing that made sense and ran like hell. Whether it was cowardly or courageous, I really didn't give a shit. All I knew was that I had to change the damned channel.

The worst part of it all: I had _finally_ removed the wall from around my heart and was ready to let Edward in. And even though I felt deep down that Edward hadn't meant to hurt, or even play me for that matter, the reality of the situation was that he did. When the protection around my heart began to crumble, I was nervous, but excited because I was finally there. I was at that place where it felt right and wonderful to have opened up.

How maddening it was that I worked so hard to keep that guard in tact, only to have to work twice as hard to reconstruct it. I needed some reinforcements, and fast.

So I gave into the tears that I fought so hard against and let them have their say in the matter. Because once they spoke their peace, that was it. Done and over. I wasn't going to let anyone else see me like that. It was bad enough that I had to bear witness to my own sobs. I wasn't about to subject another party to it. How long I carried on like that I couldn't say, but long enough that I could face Edward later. I'd make sure my supply of tears were depleted before we spoke again.

I guess I had adopted such a philosophy of falling apart from Charlie. I mean, I never saw him get upset after Renee left him all those years ago. And although I suspected he did, I didn't know for sure. Sort of like the tree falling in the woods thing. If no one saw me cry, then did I really do it in the first place?

_Of course I knew the answer to that: I did._

At least I didn't feel weak in the presence of another person. I just felt that losing it like that all alone was somehow more dignified. So I allowed myself the pity party I needed so I could get through this and deal. I needed to handle things with Edward; that was where I had to start. Once I resolved that issue, I would figure out the best way to cope with my boss, and everybody else.

So I backtracked over what I concretely knew and understood. Fact 1: I hadn't been around Heidi myself since right around the time I started working for Carlisle almost four months ago. I had been dating Edward for a month, give or take a few days. I truly believed that Edward hadn't seen or had any contact with her since before he met me. His awkward and shocked reaction suggested that what just went down was the first time they'd had any communication or contact in a while.

Fact 2: I was fairly certain that Edward hadn't been seeing anyone else since we began dating. We spent almost all of our free time together; I just didn't see how it was possible for him to be involved with someone else on the side. Even though we hadn't verbally defined what we were until a little over a week ago (I almost stopped breathing when I heard him refer to me as the 'g' word in conversation with a colleague) our exclusive involvement had been understood. At least by me anyway. But, right now I was so rattled by the turn of events, I truly wasn't absolutely certain of anything at that moment.

Fact 3: (Well, more of a hypothesis on my part) Despite the revelation that that he'd used the very same 'go to' lines on both me and Heidi, it was possible he meant them at the time he said them in each of our cases. I _believed _that he _believed_ the truth in his words when they were spoken. Edward didn't seem the type to throw out meaningless declarations. I honestly didn't think he was bullshitting either one of us.

I could only guess that he sort of had ADD where relationships were concerned. He was easily distracted and his attention was diverted from one thing to the next in the blink of an eye. Almost like a child with a new toy. The exclamation of, "Wow! That's the best toy in the world! I want to play with it all the time!" could be heard, shouted from the rooftops. There's not a doubt in the world that such a proclamation isn't 100% heartfelt. However, once the newness wore off and a newer, shinier toy came along, that one became the best. That was the best rationalization I could come up with in my mind.

Heidi had once been the best thing ever, full of possibility, but then something happened that caused her to lose her luster in Edward's eyes. Like maybe the conquest had been captured. Once that happened, his attention was averted elsewhere. That must have been where I fit into this playgroup. He met me, and I became the flashy and new 'toy', and the only reason that there was any luster with me is that I hadn't been conquered yet.

_But you almost were you smitten-struck fool._

The fact that he'd been caught allowed me to catch myself from a collision course with heartbreak. So I made the decision right then and there surrounded by the harmonious flow of nature's felicity to grab the damned emergency brake and pull it with all my force and might. It was going to take every ounce of power I had to stop my forward motion. I had to halt where this was headed now. If I didn't, there was no doubt in my mind I'd get banged up.

My decision left me faced with the conflict of what exactly it was I wanted. I knew that I couldn't continue to be in a relationship with Edward. Not when I'd just witnessed firsthand my inevitable fate. No matter what, I had to protect my heart, but to what extent? The thought of cutting all ties to Edward sickened me. I didn't think that I could… no, I knew that I categorically could not act as thought he didn't exist and we'd never met. Working for Carlisle made that a virtual impossibility.

As banal as it seemed, I realized that the only way I could keep any form of involvement with Edward was friendship. I cringed at the thought of that dreaded and vile other 'f' word, it was the only way to have his presence in my world and guard myself at the same time. Bittersweet seemed extremely overused, but maybe whatever scholar came up with the definition had gone through something similar to what I'd just experienced.

It would undoubtedly be painful to watch him move on as he inevitably would do, but it would be even more so to pretend he never was and we never were. I couldn't live with that at all. He'd changed me too much to forget him entirely. I'd taken risks and been more daring with Edward than with any other man ever. I'd embraced more moments of bravery in the last month with him than I had before in my adult life.

So I came up with the only compromise that would cause the least amount of damage. As masochistic as it might be, I would be Edward's friend, but no more than that. The pain that we could be nothing more I could handle because the decision was mine. My heart could live with wanting more, but not succumbing in the interest of self preservation. That affliction was at least tolerable because it was self imposed and completely my choice.

What my heart unequivocally couldn't take was forward propulsion down a road that would only end in rejection. If I allowed myself to blindly hasten ahead in this relationship with Edward, no matter how he explained the Heidi situation, I knew he would turn his attentions elsewhere when something flashier caught his eye. At some point, most likely sooner rather than later, my heart and soul would be shattered when he decided he didn't want me anymore. I would be rendered powerless and that I could not allow.

If there was one thing I learned from Charlie, it was the importance of maintaining some control, even if it was at personal expense. He'd given all of himself over to Renee, and she left him anyway, alone. And although he'd remained single, it was his choice. Charlie was a handsome man with a good heart. He was an upstanding citizen with an honorable career. He had a lot to offer, and I knew there were many ladies in the town of Forks that considered him quite the catch. But the solitude of his life was his decision and no one else's. There was some dignity in that wasn't there?

_Yes there was, B. Charlie's a smart man. You need to pull a page from his book. Safety has to trump bravery this time if you want to walk away from this in one piece._

I decided to turn my phone back on and acknowledge that Edward might have been trying to find me. I was sure he had a plausible explanation, at least in his mind, and I would give him the benefit of the doubt and listen before I threw out the six-letter f-word.

My voice mail had a response from Carlisle. He told me to rest up and let him know if I needed anything. He was so wonderful, and I knew it was gonna take a shitload of moxie to explain to him why Edward and I could only be friends. I was fairly certain that he would be fully aware of the details when I saw him tomorrow. I breathed a shaky sigh of relief that I wouldn't have to provide the grittier details. I was banking on the hope that Edward would do that himself.

Next was the message from Edward. I would be lying out my ass if I said that his message didn't make me want to ignore the situation altogether. He sounded so panicked and distraught. The way he repeated 'please' nearly killed me. I counted six of them in the span of his twenty second voice mail.

My first instinct was to return Edward's call. I agreed we needed to talk and in person. However, I also needed a little bit of time to pull myself together. It was going to be hard enough listening to what Edward had to say, but it was going to be even more difficult to look into his mesmerizing eyes and tell him what I'd decided.

I left the paradoxical serenity of the gardens and got in my car to head back to my apartment. It was shocking to see that it was 4:30 in the afternoon, and I'd spent almost three hours at the arboretum. Even more unbelievable was that the whole debacle had transpired approximately one hundred and eighty minutes ago. In fact, if I could go back about ten thousand eight hundred and sixty seconds, everything would still be as perfect as it was this morning. Ignorance was indeed bliss, and I had never wished in all my life that my silly little Camry was a De Lorean.

The drive home from the gardens seemed to take forever, with rush hour traffic already starting to build. Even the music on the radio stations refused to cooperate in keeping me distracted from my thoughts. Duffy's 'Mercy' only worsened my mood, while Incubus' 'Love Hurts' made me question my decision for the 537th time. I felt like the gods of Sirius Radio were being exceptionally unkind to me today as every fucking song I heard made me think of Edward. I turned the damned thing off as it wasn't helping me escape my issues and just dealt with the silence. I was suffering no matter what.

As I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment building, I noticed the familiar black Range Rover parked in the same space it had been earlier that morning.

_Fuck me. He's here. So much for the regrouping effort._

I got out of my car to walk to my front door, but the image that met my eyes stopped me dead in my tracks. Edward sat crouched on my door step; head down as he stared at what looked like his phone. I froze for a moment, the urge to get back in my car and retreat almost overpowered me; however, I knew that the situation would have to be faced sooner or later. I guessed the fates were trying to tell me there was no time like the present.

Edward was so lost in his thoughts; his head snapped up only seconds before I finally reached him. "Come inside Edward. We need to talk." I briefly considered my horrendous appearance: blotchy skin and puffy eyes and nose. It didn't do any good to dwell on that as there wasn't anything I could do about it then anyway.

Pulling himself off of the concrete, he gave a slight nod and moved from in front of my door so we could go in. I fumbled with my keys way too much for my liking. My unsteadiness betrayed my nerves and if there was ever a time I needed control of all my faculties, it sure as hell was now.

Edward followed me inside, and after I set my stuff down, I gestured for him to have a seat on the couch beside me. My mind couldn't help but wander to the memory of what pleasure we'd given each other right there just the night before. Edward sat down next to me, hunched over with his elbows in his knees. It was quite apparent how upset he was given how tightly his hands clenched his hair and how his respirations were slightly above normal. I counted them in the minutes plagued by silence, neither one of us seemed to know where to start. Someone needed to break the tension.

"I got your message Edward. I'm listening," I spoke quietly.

"Where did you go?" he turned to look at me, trepidation brimmed in his eyes.

"I went to the botanical gardens to clear my head. I was trying to process what I saw. I guess I still am. I don't know what…"

"Bella, you have to let me explain that to you. Please, you have to hear me out." His words cut into my own, the strain in his voice palpable.

"Go ahead Edward, I said I was listening. I would love nothing more than to understand what I saw earlier."

He took a brief pause in order to gather his thoughts and reached over to take my hand. I'm not sure if the gesture was meant to calm me or him.

"So, back in December, just before Christmas," he began, the incredibly pensive look of course made me wary as to just how bad this was going to be, "there was some charity gala at the hospital."

"Yeah, I know the one. I didn't go because I was still at the hospital and working that night."

"Right. I wish you'd been working for my dad then. We could have met that much sooner." His voice was laced with a doleful tone. "My mom couldn't accompany him because she was sick herself, so Dad asked if I wanted to go because I know a lot of people in the therapy department. Anyway, Heidi was there and Dad introduced us, in a purely professional capacity I assure you."

Edward paused for a second to gaze my reaction before he continued. "You are the first woman from his work place that he's wanted me to meet for personal reasons. It's because he knows what an incredible person you are. He knew what you would bring into my life."

_Oh fuck. I cannot hear this if I'm gonna be strong. Safety first B, safety first._

"Edward, I need to know what…"

He cut me off again and his hands dropped my own and went to my shoulders, turning me so I had to face him. I jumped at the contact; the tension from my body must have pulsed forward like some sort of force field. It was the first time since we'd met that I hadn't relaxed into his touch. I saw the hurt flash across his eyes and damn it all to hell if I didn't want to comfort him.

_No, screw that. He had explaining to do._

"Bella, that night at the gala, Heidi and I left together. Carlisle had no idea that she and I had any sort of involvement. He would have never tried so hard to get me to meet you if he had known about Heidi. Shit! I'm making it sound like there was some big thing there, and that just wasn't the case. Sure, we went out once or twice after that and it was nice, but then I stopped hearing from her and wasn't interested enough to find out why. I took it for what is was - nothing serious. I swear on my life Bella, I didn't feel one ounce for her the way I feel about you. In fact, the night I met you after class, the night my life took an upward turn, was the first time she texted me."

"So you haven't talked to her at all since you met me then?" I asked, wondering if my assumption was correct. Apparently it was, as he confirmed it with a nod of his head.

"God Bella, I know it was chicken shit and a douchebag move to ignore her. I know that. I should have told her that I was involved with someone, that I was unavailable. Damn, I never dreamed for one second that something like this would happen. But I swear, as long as it takes, I will make this up to you, just please let me. That's all I ask. _Please._"

_Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Shit. Fuck. That word. I cannot handle that word. It will break me. Damn, he looks so…and he sounds…no!_

At that point he moved his hands from my shoulders to cup my face. He gently stroked my cheeks with his thumbs, the desperation for me to understand etched in his expression. His eyes pleaded for acceptance and forgiveness. "The things she said I told her, damn, I know I said those same things to you. But I promise Bella, with everything that I am, I meant them with you. I'll admit I've said similar things like that to other women. I swear on my life Bella, with you it was true. Is. Is true. Please tell me you believe me Sweetness, please…"

"No!" I shouted and pulled my face from his grasp, which stunned Edward as much as it did me. I inhaled deeply and tried not to be swayed by the delicious way he smelled. I got up off the couch to put some distance between us so I could think straight. "You don't get to call me that right now. How do I know that you didn't call her that too? How do I know that name you have for me isn't really special at all? I don't."

"Bella, you're the only one I've ever called Sweetness. Ever."

"Fine, Edward, let's just say that's true. That doesn't change the fact that there are things that have me scared and upset, most of all confused. I don't know why you just weren't honest with Heidi and told her the truth. I get that you weren't interested in her anymore because you were with me. You are absolutely correct that your behavior was chicken shit and douchebag-ish. I wish she'd slapped the piss out of you because you deserved it."

"I know I did, trust me. Heidi handled everything with such grace and dignity, and I wasn't worthy of it." I could easily tell how truly remorseful he was by the pained look on his face. And that crestfallen expression did not make what I was about to do any easier. _At all_.

"So she forgave you then?"

"Mercifully, yes. Now I ask you to do the same Bella. Please forgive me for being a jackass and acting in such a way that caused you pain. I am so sorry." He looked at me so intently, trying to anticipate my reaction. I knew in my heart of hearts that this wasn't easy for him. Humble pie didn't have a pleasant taste, at least not in my opinion.

"I accept your apology Edward because I know you didn't mean to hurt me intentionally or her for that matter. You're not that type of guy." A look of relief washed over him and he started to move toward me. "Wait," I halted him and threw up my hand. "I'm not done. That still doesn't change the fact that I have really serious concerns, and I've come to a conclusion, or at least a hypothesis on the situation."

"Whatever your concerns are Bella, let me address and allay them once and for all before you come to any resolutions, okay?"

"Please, Edward, let me finish. I did a lot if thinking. I _believe_ that you _believe_ you meant what you said to me. It's just that I believe you meant it when you said it to Heidi too. At the time you said it."

"Bella, I don't think-"

"Just hear me out Edward. I think you might have ADD when it comes to relationships. I'm not being funny or cute here. I think it's the truth. You seem to get easily distracted, lose interest and move on to the next flashy thing that catches your eye. I'd be fooling myself to believe that sooner or later, someone shinier won't come along and we'll be over. My heart can't take that Edward. The fact that I work for your dad just complicates things further."

I took a pause and steeled myself with as much resolve as possible. Difficult didn't even begin to describe what I was about to say.

_Be safe. Be safe. Be safe._

"That's exactly why I can't continue down this path. I think we have to redefine what we are. I'll be your friend, but no more than that. I have to protect myself."

"But you don't need protection from me! Can't you see that Bella?" He protested disbelief and fear heavy laden not only in his voice, but on his beautiful, angelic face. And, oh how I wanted to tell the angel he shouldn't be so distraught. I knew he would be fine. I, on the other hand, well, the outlook didn't look so positive for me. At least not in the foreseeable future.

"Oh, but I do, Edward. I do. I can't allow you to break my heart." My voice was possibly only a decibel above a whisper. Words simply could not describe the battle to fight back my tears. Dear God how I wanted to grab Edward and cling to him with everything that was in me. I wanted him and us so badly, more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. But I had already made my decision. I couldn't flounce now.

"I would never, ever break your heart Bella. Don't you understand? It's too precious to me. You're too precious to me. I'd soon cut out my own than harm yours."

"_Now_, Edward. I know these things are true for you _right now_. And of course I know you would never purposefully cause me heartbreak. I don't believe that there's a malicious bone in your body. But I also know that old habits die hard. I think you have a pattern when you first get involved with a woman. Things are fabulous and intense, and then someone more fabulous comes along and diverts your attention. I just can't spend everyday wondering when my time's up. I don't think you really know what you want."

"That's not true at all!" He bolted over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "For the first time in a damn long time, I know exactly what and who I want. I want _you_." The determination and raw emotion in his voice made my heart sputter and my breath caught in my throat. My respirations were pretty damn shaky for someone who knew just about everything there was about airway management. I might have just needed my ambu bag before it was all said and done.

I stayed in his tight embrace for I don't know how long. Clearly, I was a glutton for punishment. His arms felt so wonderful and I knew that as safe as I always felt shrouded in them, ironically it was the most dangerous place for me just then. The way he held me so tight, like he couldn't get me close enough to him, was a serious threat to my resolution. So, I reveled in the exquisite tribulation a while longer as it would be the last embrace of this intensity between us. As friends, there were boundaries that couldn't be crossed.

"Then have me as your friend. That's all I can let myself be Edward. I don't remember exactly how things played out when my mom and dad split up. I was too young. But I understand that Renee had herself and Charlie fooled thinking that life in a small town would be enough for her. It wasn't and she left him alone. He understood there was always the chance that she would go. He married her knowing that she wanted to leave Forks one day. Charlie just thought that his love and our family would be enough to make her stay. It wasn't and he's been alone since then, but on his terms. He won't allow himself to be hurt like that again."

I took another breath and continued my rational behind my choice. "I think you have yourself believing that you want me and some sort of future, and you might think that I'm enough. But fundamentally Edward, you are who you are. I don't think you could have adopted such a behavior change so quickly. In the end, I know friendship is safer."

He muttered something under his breath, unintelligible and slurred, but before I could ask him what he said, he pulled back from me, his eyes glassy with moisture. The ferocity in his gaze almost leveled me and my shaky breath turned non-existent.

"I told you when we first got together that I would let you control the pace of our relationship. I intend to keep my word. Your happiness is paramount to me. If friendship is what you want, then so be it. I'll do that for you. But I want you to understand one thing: this change in status does not change my feelings for you at all. I will respect your boundaries, but I will also prove you wrong."

"Prove me wrong Edward? There's nothing to prove..."

"There sure as hell is. As long as it takes, I'll be right here, and when enough time goes by and there hasn't been anyone flashy or shiny enough to pull my focus from you, then you'll understand that every emotion I have for you is nothing less than real. I told you that you, Isabella Marie Swan, are who I want. I'll fight for this, I promise you that."

"Edward, there's nothing to fight for, okay? It is what it is. Friendship, nothing more, nothing less."

He kissed my forehead and gave me a squeeze. "We'll have to agree to disagree. I'm going to go to the gym and decompress. Remember, you're not getting rid of me. I will show you that I can be a _very, very good friend_. And soon enough, you'll decide that my title deserves an upgrade."

"I don't think…" My words were suddenly cut short by Edward's lips chastely pressed against my own. The look on my face must have been a tad on the incredulous side because he smirked at me and said, "What? That was a friendly goodnight kiss."

He left after telling me that he would talk to me the next day. It was obvious that he was bound and determined to show me that my assessment was inaccurate. I wasn't sure if that excited me, or just plain scared me to death. I just had to hold firm to my belief that a change in direction was better than no direction at all.

* * *

**EPOV**

I didn't expect _that_ talk at fucking all. I told her how sorry I was and that I wanted to make things up to her. I would do whatever it took to fix the situation.

And so I would. Even if it included dealing with the friend card she threw down on the table.

When I hugged her tight, I knew I never wanted to let her go. I kept repeating under my breath "Trust Dad. Bella's choice." I could do nothing else but put my faith in my father's words.

So I took my father's advice and let Bella make the call. It was the bitterest pill I'd ever swallowed, but if it meant making her mine for keeps in the end, I'd gladly do it.

Truer words had never been spoken when I told her I'd respect her wishes and be her friend. But I also said that I would fight for what I wanted. I would fight for her; however, I never said I'd fight fair…

* * *

**BPOV**

If the night that I spent with Edward by my side was the best night of sleep I'd ever had, then last night would absolutely qualify as the worst bar none. My sleep had been restless and broken at best. It was crazy (and fucking tragic) that Edward had only spent one night in my bed and already my body was acutely aware of his absence. It was just like everything else with him: every cell and fiber of my being wasted no time in acclimating to his presence. And once he was gone, everything was completely off kilter.

When I finally decided to give up the pitiful attempt to get some decent sleep, I rolled out of bed to go put my tea kettle on for my morning cup of swill, or whatever the hell the coffee snob called it. I suddenly remembered the coffee pot, still in my car that Edward had bought for me less than twenty-four hours prior. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to go get the damned thing and cuddle with it or punt it down the street. It represented future sleepovers with the past-boyfriend-almost-my-destiny-current-friend that would never happen.

I decided not to dwell on the have nots of my life and get on with my day. Moving forward was the only way to get back to some sort of normalcy.

"Bella, honey, you look like you got hit by a Mack truck. Are you still feeling under the weather from the food poisoning?" Mrs. Cope questioned as she took in my less-than-stellar appearance when I got to the office. She never was one to mince words, I had to admit. I must have looked as horrible as I felt. I just couldn't bring myself to give a shit.

I was on autopilot. I would go to work, have the dreaded talk with Dr. Cullen (that's right, he was back to being Dr. Cullen all the time as I was no longer his son's girlfriend), and then back to my apartment to feast on brownies, Twinkies and any other food that I shouldn't have to make myself feel better. I was going to try and achieve some sort of sugar high and then hope like hell I could sleep when I crashed.

I told her I was alright and would leave after Dr. Cullen got to the office if I started feeling too bad.

Before I knew it, my boss was walking through the door and my stomach suddenly jumped to my throat. Dr. Cullen walked in, said his good mornings, and then went into his office just like normal. Before I had the chance to go in and tell him I needed to talk, he poked his head out and asked me to come see him for a quick second. I hoped and prayed that Edward had told him things had changed between us. I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news.

"Bella, would you have a seat please? I think we need to discuss the large fluorescent elephant that is in the room." I could tell that he wasn't angry or upset. Maybe a little disappointed, but definitely not mad.

"Dr. Cullen, would you mind telling me exactly what you know – what Edward has explained to you?" I had to know for sure what information he had before I said anything more.

"Well, for starters I know that food poisoning wasn't the cause of you going home yesterday. I understand why you didn't tell me the truth, especially if you didn't know exactly what the truth was behind what you saw. Edward filled me in yesterday on his past dealings with our drug rep. I've called her superiors and ask that they assign someone else to my account. Let me assure you, I spoke no ill will of her. I stressed that it in no way had to do with her job performance. They were very understanding and everything will be fine on that end."

"That's good Dr. Cullen. I'm glad, I mean about not throwing Heidi under the bus. She wasn't at fault. She didn't know."

"I know. I also know that you have decided to continue a relationship with my son, but only in the capacity of friendship."

"Yes, I have. I think it's what's best for me given the turn of events. I don't want to get hurt and I certainly don't want any awkwardness between you and me. I love my job, and I love working for you. I don't want a bad breakup to color our working relationship."

"I completely understand. I wouldn't for one second dream of interfering in your personal relationship with my son. Bella, you know I think the world of you and felt that you would be good for Edward. He's just sort of been floundering lately from a relationship standpoint and I'd hoped that you could remedy that. For what it's worth, I still have hope." He looked at me with a kind, and dare I say, knowing smile. Almost like he knew something that I didn't.

"Dr. Cullen, Edward is a wonderful man. I do thank you for introducing me to him. I just don't think he knows what he wants right now, even though he says he does. I just don't want to get my heart broken, that's all."

"Again, Bella, I fully understand your decision. But let me just say this, and then we'll get on about our work day. Edward feels very strongly about you. I think for the first time he absolutely understands what he wants. He would have done anything you asked of him yesterday if he thought it would make the situation better. If having you as a friend will ensure having you in his life, then he'll take it. I've not seen him care enough to put his own feelings aside in a long time. He is determined to prove himself to you and earn back your trust. If I know one thing about my son, when he's hell bent on an objective, come hell or high water, he will succeed."

The more I thought about it, I guess it really came down to whose determination would win in the end. His will to prove me wrong or my will to protect my heart. Even though I knew our journey together had taken a turn, there was a small part of me that hoped Dr. Cullen was right and we could find our way back to the path toward one another.

* * *

A/N#2: I have retreated back into the pantry. I still have Coco Puffs, but added Lucky Charms and Pop Tarts to the buffet for variety and all.

Just trust me guys, we'll get there. I didn't promise it would be easy.

Huge thanks to **Stratan **for the bang-up beta job at lightening speed. Dude is amazing and needs a cape. Maybe even a theme song.

As always, thanks to **RoseArcadia **for being the best pre-reader and hand holder ever. She's also an amazing friend for which I'm so thankful for. Thanks to **lisamichelle17 **and **HookaShewz **for lending their thoughts on this one as well. I appreciate you guys more than you know. I love all you ladies so much. You have all been a huge source of support on the RL front lately and for that I can't put into words how much it means to me.

My dear sweet Yin, **lola-pops**, what would I do without you and our little game? It is you who cracks me the eff up dearest and our "dates" are priceless. I heart you with my whole heart.

And to everyone who reads, recs and reviews my mess, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing so.

There's room in the pantry. You are welcome to join me, as long as you promise not choke me with a Pop Tart.


	9. Chapter 9 The Long and Winding Road

**Disclaimer: "M". Yep Cabbage. Me? Not her. The greatness? Not mine.**

**Chapter 9 – The Long and Winding Road**

**EPOV**

I wasn't kidding when I said I needed to decompress. It was not in my nature to sit idle and let my frustrations consume me. To channel all of the intensity of what I'd been hit with into a hardcore session at the gym was exactly what both my mind and body needed. An exhausted physical state would provide clarity to my mental one. The innocent bystander would have thought I was either preparing for an Ironman marathon or a fucking lunatic. The latter was definitely closer to the truth.

The playlist of choice for my session of pain was titled "pissed as hell". Earsplitting guitar riffs and bone crushing drum cadences fueled the intensity of my workout. Rage Against the Machine, Alice in Chains (come on, those dudes were part of the Seattle sound - it would be sacrilegious for them not to be on such a music montage) and Megadeth throttled my auditory senses and spurned me onward. How could you not put your body through the wringer while "Symphony of Destruction" blared in your ears? You couldn't – it just wasn't possible.

I hit the Stairmaster as if my life depended on it for survival. Climbing to nowhere as fast as I could, it was if the answer to my problem was at the top of a mountain I'd never reach. The free weights were punished with reckless abandon, my grip on them one of death. It was almost like I could choke the life from the steel, my knuckles white from fists clenched in rigor. My muscles were pushed past the point of fatigue because that would put my brain in the zone to focus. Complete and total exertion had to be the key to figuring this shit out.

Once I'd finished my self-imposed punishment, I grabbed my gear and carted my tired (and very soon to be sore) ass out of the gym and headed home. Of course my clothes were covered in perspiration, evidence of the beating I had just put myself through. In any other circumstance, I would have showered off there to keep my nasty body from getting the interior of the Rover all disgusting and messy. At the moment, that particular issue didn't even register on my scale of importance at all.

As I made my way to my condo, the realization that I hadn't filled my mother in on the current state of affairs suddenly dawned on me. Because my father had said it wasn't his business to tell, I knew my mother still had no clue what went down earlier. As much of a busy body as she was, my mother was also one hell of a smart lady with a lot of insight to offer. I wondered why it hadn't occurred to me to call her sooner.

The moment I got inside, I threw all my shit down and sprawled out on the floor. I grabbed my phone and dialed up the one woman who could possibly save my sorry ass. She'd fixed so many of my messes over the years; I sincerely hoped she didn't mind the massive cleanup that was my relationship SNAFU.

"Hello?"

"Hey momma, how's everything?" Despite my intention to keep my tone calm, even I heard the agitation in my voice.

"Oh, alright honey. I've been out in the garden quite a bit today putting in my spring color."

There was a brief pause. She knew something was off. My mother was fast on the uptake when things seemed wrong. Whoever said 'momma knows' knew what the hell was up. I'd swear her radar was akin to ESP.

"What's going on baby boy? There's something not right with you, I can tell."

_Wow. _Suddenly I felt like I was seven again and had fallen off the swing set. I was ready for her to grab a band aid and peroxide, except neither of those childhood remedies would fix my injury. The wound was internal and wrecking havoc from the inside out.

"Mom," I took in a deep breath and prepared myself to enlighten my mom on her "baby boy's" enormous shortcoming. "Bella sort of broke up with me."

"_Sort of_? What do you mean? I don't understand Edward. Why?"

So I told her. All of it – the thing with Heidi, my feelings for Bella and the nightmare of the last several hours. For once, it was me that talked on and on and on. Maybe I was more like my mom than I thought.

I finally spilled every last detail that was in my head, which included my absolute desperation to fix the situation and Dad's advice to let Bella call the shots. My mom listened intently with no interruption. _Guess there's a first time for everything…_

"Hmmm. Well, it won't do me any good to lecture you. Bella's decision to just be friends should teach you a far better lesson than I ever could. And while I concur with your father, it's only to an extent. Respect her boundaries and let her lead – that much I agree with. But, in my opinion, you need to go on the offensive, son, behind the scenes."

"Go on the offensive? What do you mean?"

"I mean you need allies Edward; people in your corner that Bella will listen to. Like her friends, dear."

"You mean like Rosalie and Angela?" I questioned wondering if that effort would be nothing more than an exercise in futility. "I'm not sure they would give me the time of day. In fact, I'm pretty sure the less-than-delicate-Rose will demand my family jewels on a silver platter."

"Look, from what I understand, those two people are closest to Bella besides her family. They know her better than you do honey. My advice: talk to the girls, explain things and admit your mistake from the get-go. The fact that you are unwilling to walk away from her says a lot, I think. Most young men who weren't serious, or only interested in things of a physical nature, would be happy enough to go on down the road."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure they're both going to-"

"Stop over thinking Edward. At the end of the day these ladies only want Bella's happiness, I'm sure. Convince them that you truly care very deeply for Bella; make them believe that you are in fact the one to make her happy."

"Sounds simple as pie when you put it like that, Mom." Did she seriously think it was going to be that easy?

"Oh, it won't be without difficulty, they are her friends after all." _Well duh Mom. _I couldn't help the big ass sigh/growl that escaped me. For a split second I forgot just who it was I was talking to. "And don't exhale at me in that tone of voice, young man."

"Sorry Mom. My head is just so messed up right now."

"I know baby, I know. Show the girls that you're in it for the long haul. Once they see how sincere you are, they'll be on your side. Rose and Angela can give you some insight as how best to handle Bella. But don't just rely on your Cullen charm though. Be honest and sincere. That will serve you best."

"I hope so Madre, I hope so." She was such a smart lady; I had to believe that she was right. "Hey, is Dad there? I need to ask him a question."

"Yes, he sure is – let me get him for you dear. Daddy! Edward needs to talk to you! Pick up the phone honey!" _Eardrum. Bleeding. Again. _

Amazing how I heard the click of my father picking up the line since I was just about deaf from my mother's yelling. "Esme, darling, I was just down the hall. There's no need to yell, my delicate flower."

"You know as well as I do you're hearing isn't what it used to be. Okay my loves, I'm going to hang up and let you two chat. Goodbye son. I love you."

"Bye Mom, love you too." I heard her hang up, then my father mutter something about selective deafness.

"How are you holding up, son? Not that I was eavesdropping, your mother isn't exactly quiet you know. I heard her mention something about Bella and friendship. I'm guessing that was her decision then."

"Yes it was. Bella somehow has the idea that I'll get bored and be done with her when something better comes along. She's so wrong Dad, but I'm following your advice."

"Well, at least she didn't totally cut all ties. That's a good thing. Just listen to your old man because regaining her trust is the key."

"I know. I also told her that my feelings weren't going to change; I would prove to her that they're real. Mom seems to think that I need to recruit Rosalie and Angela to help me get Bella back; you know work the offensive in the background. What do you think?" It was important to me to get both of my parents' input on some sort of game plan. These were the two people I trusted most in the entire world, and it was important that I got both of their opinions on the task at hand.

"Honestly, in my humble opinion, your mother is probably the smartest person I know – I mean, she married me right?" He chuckled lightly, and really, I couldn't help but do the same. "Seriously, she makes a very valid point. For what it's worth, Rosalie is on rotation on the pulmonary floor right now at the hospital. In fact, she's on the day shift tomorrow. I think it would be a wise move on your part to get in contact with her as soon as possible."

"That's good to know, Dad. Do you know what time she gets in?"

"Seven o'clock. But there's the shift change first thing, so she'll be tied up getting reports from the evening shift nurse for about the first half hour."

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you in the morning when I go pay Ms. Rose a visit then."

"Sounds good. I'll keep my fingers crossed and find me if you need me afterwards, okay?"

"Thanks Dad. I may need some stitching up after she gets done with me."

"Well, then we'll have to go down General Surgery on the 5th floor. I'm just the lung guy in the joint. I don't sew patients up; I just make them breathe better."

After I hung up with my parents, I pulled my massive lump of self off of the floor and fixed myself a protein shake. I contemplated putting a stiff shot of Crown in it, but figured I might pass out in the shower given the fact I was just about spent.

The stifling hot water did more than just relax my aching muscles; it washed away the grimy bleakness that had taken over the day. I let the streams ripple over my skin and cleanse every negative thought from my being with regard to my desired objective. Deep down within the pit of my gut, I knew it was going to take time and persistence. Luckily, I had an ample supply of both.

Climbing into bed, I resisted the urge to dwell on the fact that roughly twenty-four hours ago, I was in Bella's bed, wrapped in her arms. Both the happiest of gentlemen and horniest of bastards within me had been filled with absolute contentment; now, I was the dejected asshole with a shitload of work to do. Restless, I tossed and turned going over step one of my game plan: Operation Relation Persuasion.

Stepping off the elevator to the 7th floor at approximately 7:45 that Tuesday morning, I approached the nurse' station with slight caution and a shitload of anxiety. There, cloaked in her Disney Princess scrubs of misdirection, Nurse Ratched appeared to be buried amidst a pile of charts. _Okay Cullen. You are here to sway Rose to your side. No crazy ass nurse inferences if you're going to get things accomplished._

Rose's head snapped up as I got closer, and I swear to my Maker my heart stopped for the longest nanosecond of my life. Based on her reaction, she had in all probability not talked to Bella. For one, she hadn't scaled the desk and tried to separate my reproductive organs from my body. Secondly, she had an odd grin on her face with her head cocked to the side, apparently stumped as to what I would be doing there.

"Good Morning Rose. How are you?' I asked as nonchalantly as I could, silently wishing I had one of those protective cups to keep my goods safe.

"Not too shabby. To what do I owe this unexpected visit Spingod?"

_Balls to the wall man, and that could be literal by the time this exchange is over…_

"I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about Bella if you have a second, Rose."

"Oh no you don't, Edward. You aren't getting any details from me on what she has planned for the two of you this weekend. I will tell you to go carb crazy though – this weekend will be a marathon you'll never forget."

My heart sank into the pit of my gut at the thoughts of what almost was; until that Karma bullshit had to decide to rear its bitchy little head. _No screw that, you will have your weekend Cullen. Maybe not this weekend, but it will happen._

"No, that's not why I'm here. Is there someplace we could talk where it's more private?"

"Um, yeah, there's a small conference room down the hall. Follow me."

I did as instructed and soon found myself behind closed doors with a very curious Rose. Privacy was what I wanted, and that's exactly what I got. The thought that this might not have been the best idea on my part occurred to me as I realized that there were no witnesses. Praying to God that there were no scalpels about, I asked Rose to have a seat.

"Look, there's a situation with Bella, and I need your help. Do you think it's possible to get Angela on her cell? I'd like her to be in on this too."

"Edward, what the hell is going on? You're kind of scaring me, and I don't like it."

"Please Rose, can we just call Angela?"

"Fine. Whatever."

Putting the phone on speaker, she dialed Angela's cell, her expression one of curiosity and slight disdain. I prepared myself for battle as this discussion would surely get worse before it got better.

"Ms. Hale, what's up mamacita?"

"Hey Weber – listen, have you talked to B lately?"

"No, not since yesterday when we all talked about the plans for this weekend she has for-"

"Yeah, I've got Spingod here now," Rose cut her off before she could finish her sentence. "We're on speaker phone by the way. He said there's a situation of some sort with Bella, and he needs our help."

"Is she okay Edward? What's wrong?"

"Look ladies, I need you to hear me out before you make any rash decisions," I cut my eyes over to Rose, "or make any sudden movements."

"What the fuck is going on Edward? Do I need to call my girl up right now, because I will unless you start making some sense _pronto_."

I cringed at her usage of the term _my girl _when she referenced Bella. I'll be damned she was still mine, at least I still thought of her that way.

"Rose, come on. Just let him talk." _Ahhh, thank you Officer Friendly. _"We'll hold judgment to see if the mini guillotine is warranted."

_Oh, fuck me dickless. It was the reserved ones I needed to be wary of after all…_

"Thanks Angela, I think," I managed to sputter out clearing my throat. "Shit, I'm just going to come right out with it then. Bella told me last night she only wants to be friends. I, uh, I screwed up pretty bad. But I want her back, and I need your help with that."

Cujo bolted up out of her chair with blinding speed, slamming her hands on the conference room table. "The fuck did you do to her asshole?" I might have jumped back.

"Hale!" Angela yelled which caused rabid Rose to stop down. "Give him a chance to explain, alright? Just shut it and put your scissors back in your scrub pocket. Edward, continue."

It was not lost on me the clipped tone in Angela's voice. "So, back before I knew Bella, I went out once or twice with a lady that's one of my dad's drug reps. Of course, he had no idea or he never would have suggested that I meet Bella." And so I went on in explanation of the Heidi imbroglio and what had taken place yesterday outside of my dad's office.

"Okay, so some chick that you went out with once or twice kissed you in front of Bella and that's why she took off? I mean, I agree it was big time dipshitery ignoring the girl, but it's not like you were dating her at the same time you were seeing Bella. I don't get why she's backpedalling." Rose sort of leered at me like she was waiting for a bona fide reason to strike.

"I think the fact that Bella discovered firsthand that I'd said some of the same things to this particular girl that I said to her was probably what made her tear out of there like a bat out of hell." And then I sat back and waited for it…

"You need to be real specific there, Professor."

"Well, for starters, that I was open to all possibilities as far as a relationship was concerned – that we were on to something, and I wanted to see where things lead. That made her doubt my sincerity I'm sure."

Before Rose could launch her verbal grenades – hell maybe she had real ones for all I knew – Angela started lobbing questions that reminded me of those spring-loaded explosives found in land mines. You know, the ones that just sort of sat there until you stepped on them and then WHAM! Shit just exploded everywhere.

"Edward, was it word for word the same thing?"

"Unfortunately, pretty much." I stifled a groan because damn, I felt more and more like piece of shit every time I repeated the words that had somehow kicked me in the balls.

"I see." Angela responded. I couldn't see what sort of look Glenda the Good Witch was giving me right now, but Rose of the West's glare held a very nasty, drop-dead-you-fucker kind of sneer. _Someone cue the flying monkeys_. I quickly found myself wishing I could crawl inside the phone to finish the rest of this conversation, or throw a pail of water on her to see if she'd melt.

"Edward," Angela began again, "did you sleep with this woman and was Bella aware of that if you did?"

"Of course he banged her, Weber! This is the master of the toenail trim down, right Spingod?"

"Damn. She told you about that did she?" Why oh why did I come up with that dumbass response that day at lunch? Could I have sounded anymore like a gigolo with that remark? Fucknuttery at its finest, I swear…

"She sure as hell did. Bella tells us everything, you d-bag. Seriously, it's chicken shit behavior like this that reminds me why I quit the dicks. More than one head is too damn much in my opinion."

"And you are certainly entitled to that, Rose. All I ask is that you just listen to what I have to say on the chance that it might change your view of me. My hope is that you two will realize how important Bella is to me and just how badly I _need _to fix this. It goes way past wanting, and that's the truth."

"Fine Edward, you have the floor. Rose, please sit there with you mouth closed and your hands in your lap."

I pulled in a huge breath to gather my thoughts as the opportunity to be front and center had them scattershot and struggling to push themselves to the forefront of my brain all at the same time. If there was ever a time I needed to channel Jerry McGuire and be the Lord of the Living Room (or conference room as it were), now was sure as hell it. Clearly, I was going to need some huge fucking guns to do more than have these girls at "hello".

"Thank you, Rose, Angela, for hearing me out. I understand that I fucked things up, I get it. I know my credibility is shot. By pulling lines from my back pocket that had served me well in the past, I know I seem like a player with a shady objective. But, I swear to you on the lives of my future offspring, I meant them through and through when I said them to Bella, with everything that's in me. There was never any ulterior motive. I never wanted our relationship to be anything other than what she wanted. Bella was always in control, and that's something that I don't do. _Ever_."

Pausing for a brief second, I noted that Rose had her chin crooked between her thumb and index finger so that it looked like a gun and was immediately thankful that firearms were against hospital policy. But, in true Rose fashion, her subtle message was heard loud and clear by me. When neither one of them spoke, I plowed along hoping against all hope that I was making some headway.

"And despite what Bella believes, it was never about whether or not we consummated things. We had real intimacy. She taught me just how important that was despite never having had sex. Come on guys, if that's all I was interested in, would I be here pleading my case with the two people, outside of blood-relation, that are the least likely to want to help me? I just need your understanding and help trying to figure out why she threw up the roadblocks at the first sign of trouble. I'm hoping you can shed some light as to why she's so gun-shy."

"Tell me Edward, exactly how much do you know about Bella with regards to her upbringing and experiences in her former relationships?" Angela asked. "You must not know a whole lot considering that you don't understand full-scale her response to all this."

"Well, I mean, I know that her parents split up when she was really young and her father's 'Just Say No' to companionship has been her example of how not to get hurt. While I'm sure that's a huge part of it, there has to be more to the story than that. She had such a knee jerk reaction and had decided that it was over before she ever gave me a chance to make things right."

I went on down the stream and continued my fishing expedition, trying to pull as much intel from the two people that could help me catch the one that I didn't want to get away. "Bella's never talked much about past relationships, and to be perfectly honest, this is my first attempt at one in a hell of a long time. All I can tell you is that I need her in my life. Friendship will have to suffice for now because it's what she wants. That is what is most important right now, and I will respect her decision. But, in the spirit of full disclosure and 100% honesty, I confess that I want everything with her, as much as I want her complete happiness. It's my opinion that the two are not mutually exclusive."

Rose, whose expression appeared to have softened, even only infinitesimally, drew in a breath as if to say something, but I wasn't ready to give up the floor just yet. "Truthfully, you two _know_ how happy we made each other. You understand how happy Bella was being with me. I _am_ that guy, the one that can give her everything. All I need is the chance to earn back her trust; to prove to her, and you too, that I am for real. This is what begging looks like ladies; this is me humbly asking for any guidance you are willing to give."

Neither of my much needed allies spoke at first as I could tell they were processing my heartfelt sentiments. I hoped and prayed that my sincerity would be enough to gain their assistance.

"Edward," Angela finally began, "Bella is a very private person, something you probably already figured out. She doesn't let her guard down easily. Hasn't for as long as I've known her now that I think about it. Rose, you might not know about Jared and that whole thing from when we were freshmen in college."

"I know she dated a guy by that name like a hundred years ago, when she was like nineteen or something."

"Yeah, well, she doesn't talk about him or what happened at all. I mean initially, she did, but very little, and then it was almost like it never happened. I've always thought that maybe that was some sort of defense mechanism on her part. Her lack of acknowledgement kept her from dealing with the hurt."

At last, here was some much needed insight that I would lose my kidney for. I urged Angela to continue on with what she knew.

"Bella started dating Jared spring semester of our freshman year. He was ridiculously hot and Bella always felt like she didn't really belong with a guy like him. That never made any sense to me because Bella is absolutely gorgeous, both physically and spiritually."

"Here here," Rose interjected. "I'd make her mine in a heartbeat if she would just change her affiliation."

"Rose, awwwkward, seriously."

"Whatever Weber."

I just sat there a little dumbstruck, because really, how do you react when your sort-of-ex's best girlfriend admits to wanting her for herself? Is there even protocol for a situation like that?

"Moving right along," Angela continued mercifully, "the long and short of it is that Jared said all of the right things. Bella was "inexperienced", and it took her a while before she was ready to take things to that level. He promised her it would only intensify his feelings, make her that much more important to him, the fucker. Jared was history about two weeks after the deed was done. Bella figured if she'd just stuck with her gut and waited, he would've gotten tired and bailed. At least then she wouldn't have given away something that she couldn't get back. I think it hurt her more than she was willing to admit. Bella hasn't talked about him in forever though."

"But that makes total sense, Angela. It actually clarifies a hell of a lot. I get it now. She got her heart broken by a player and she was suspicious I was running games too. Bella's protecting herself from Jared all over again, even if only subconsciously." This was an "ah-ha" moment of serious importance.

_Shit._

I stood up and paced the floor in frustration. There had to be a way back. There had to be a solution to this mess and I knew I needed these two on my side if any progress was going to be made. At that moment, Rose pulled her phone out of her pocket and snorted. "Well, someone's ears must be burning. I just got a text from the Swan. She wants to meet at her place around seven. I'm assuming you have the same message Weber?"

"Roger that, Hale. I do. She wants reinforcements, which I'm thinking is rum. You don't think she wants 151 do you? That shit is lethal."

"I doubt it, not on a work night. Guess we know where this convo is headed."

Both girls went silent as Rose stared at me, obviously waiting for me to say something. So I just went for fucking broke. The way I saw things, I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Now was not the time to hold back.

"Rose, Angela, my fate is in your hands here, and in a lot of ways, so is Bella's. Please. All I ask is that you encourage Bella to follow her heart and not her fear. Ask her to keep an open mind and not dismiss the probability - no fuck that - the truth that I am the one. Tell her that she owes it to herself to give me a chance to make amends and put us back on course. We're meant to make it through this; I know deep down she feels it too."

I paused long enough to take a breath because everything I'd just spilled came out in such a rush it was possible it sounded unintelligible. Or like one of those cattle auctioneers. So, when no one said anything, I just kept right on going.

"Should I fail, which I won't, please feel free to hunt me down and do with me what you will. Hell, I'll even separate the appendage of your choice myself and send it to you in a crystal vase."

"Alright HBJ. I'll see what I can do, but there's no guarantee she'll even listen. Understand this - I spent two years as a surgical nurse and can do more with a scalpel than just hand it to a surgeon. You can bank on that."

"I believe you Rose, I do. Angela, what about you? Are you with me?"

"Yeah Edward, I'm in. We'll do what we can, but make no promises."

A ten gallon vat of Botox couldn't have stopped the grin that erupted over my face, not that I would have tried to anyway. In fact, the elation was as such that it made me want to bust out with one of those Aresnio fist pump-bark combos. However, a more calm and dignified reaction seemed much more appropriate.

"Thank you ladies, just… thank you. I know I don't deserve your help, and I am humbled and grateful to you both."

"You're welcome, Edward. I don't want you to get your hopes up too high though. Bella's pretty headstrong you realize."

"I do, and that's okay, Angela. At least it's a start. Bless you two for joining 'Team Edward'." I know that sounded cheesy as whiz, but I didn't care. They were on my side, and I still had all my boy parts intact. Things were looking up.

"Riiiight," Rose snarked in my general direction, "Weber, I'll call you later, and we can game plan tonight."

"Sounds good. We'll let you know how things go tomorrow, Edward."

After the conference call ended, Rose and I made our way back up towards the nurses' station. As we passed the patient rooms, I noticed my dad outside with a group of what appeared to be other doctors. Obviously he was in the middle of rounds, and I didn't want to disturb him. He glanced up and shot me a look that clearly indicated that he wanted to know how the talk went. I gave him the quick thumbs up and a smile to let him know I'd been successful thus far. The fact that I was walking beside Rose and not bleeding profusely was quite indicative of my victory. Smiling back at me, he gave me a quick head nod and went on about finishing his morning rounds.

Of course Rose had seen the exchange between my father and me.

"Why doesn't it surprise me that the good doctor had something to do with your little coup?"

"Because my dad is awesome and wants us all to be happy. Plus, he still thinks he's responsible for getting Bella and I together in the first place. He doesn't want anyone doubting his matchmaking skills."

Laughing as she turned towards her destination, she spun to face me and gave me a look of what I presumed to be reassurance. "Well, we all want that Spingod; everybody to be happy I mean. Just remember, you owe me. Bigtime."

I saluted the good nurse and stepped on to the elevator. After the doors closed, I finally let myself bust out with that fist pump-bark in celebration that step one, Operation Relation Persuasion, had been an overwhelming success.

True to my word, I called Bella to check on her later that day. Our conversation had been brief and polite, but laden with uncertainty. This was unfamiliar territory for both of us. She sounded a tad on the sluggish side, and I wondered if she'd had as restless of a night as I did. Her poorly disguised yawn suggested that was most likely the case.

When I very tentatively asked if I would see her in class the next night, I was met with silence. My mind's eye pictured her practically biting a hole in her lower lip. That was my Bella, and that bottom lip became a chew toy the second she got nervous or agitated about something. Out of habit, I almost called her Sweetness, but caught myself just before the first syllable fell from my mouth.

"Bella," I started, "Look, please don't miss class because we're trying to figure this whole situation out, alright? Things would just seem too odd with you not being there. And even though I've gotten used to the breathtaking scenery, I'll put your bike back in the corner for you if you like."

"Edward, I don't know. I mean –"

I cut her off before she could talk herself out of coming.

"If that will help things, I'll do it."

_Nothing. Nada. Zip. She's killing me with the quiet. Panic._

"Or, you can still sit in front of me if you want. Scout's honor, I'll behave and won't bite." The horny bastard within, who was obviously a dumb as fuck, decided to go scorched Earth and added, "Unless of course you want me to. In that case, I can be as naughty as you wish." _Really Cullen, really? That's the best you got?_

Bella giggled adorably, which I must confess made me feel a little less guilty. However, the horny bastard had started doing the Blitzkrieg Bop until the gentleman threw on the muzzle before the envelope got pushed. She told me she'd be there, but didn't know where she wanted to sit yet. I told her it was her choice, either way I'd be happy as long as she was there.

Wednesday found me a complete and utter wreck as I awaited that night's cycle class. It's like I was a diabetic that was trapped in a vault with nothing to eat but fried chicken and Twinkies. Twitchy as hell didn't even begin to cover my current condition just then. Somehow, mercifully, I managed to get through my morning lecture. If it hadn't been for my TA Riley keeping me on track, I would've given the same one from the week before.

Once class had ended, I bolted to my office to give my cohorts a call and get a status update. Admittedly, I was a lot confused after talking to Angela and Rose. Despite them telling me that I really shouldn't have them in the first place, my expectations sort of went out the window. They told me that Bella was nothing if not shocked at their advice to keep an open mind and heart if she still had feelings for me. And while Bella hadn't dismissed their suggestion, she didn't say she would do it either. In fact, they admitted to not being able to get a good read on her.

So, when I finally got to the gym after the longest day in the history of me, I knew I needed to get her to stay after class for a few minutes so I could talk to her myself. My overactive mind had decided asking Bella to go see a movie was an excellent way to still spend time with her in my new and unimproved role as "friend".

_Dinner and a flick were about as friendly as it got, right? _

A neutral location, impartial turf as it were, would take the edge off the situation and better help us to navigate this unfamiliar terrain. As much as I hated to admit it, this was my first foray into this strange realm. I'd never attempted, much less maintained, a platonic relationship with someone for whom I had such strong feelings. While I was indeed a tough mofo, even this test of my endurance was going to require a new level of stamina.

Good thing I was up for the challenge. My eye was on the Golden Fleece; I was determined to livestrong with all I had and do Mr. Armstrong proud.

As I stood outside the cycle room shoving my crap in a locker, I heard a very distinct "ahem" coming from a female voice. I'd been so focused on the task at hand and "Bellatime", I wasn't even aware someone was even there. Turning, I saw a petite little blonde who seemed quite resolved to get my attention and had little regard for my personal space as she was a lot closer than I was comfortable with. Well, the "AB" (after Bella) me anyway. Now the "BB" me, that dude would've been all up on that ASAP. Bella had changed me for the better, so fundamentally, it was unreal.

"Excuse me miss, I'm so sorry. Am I in your way?"

"Not at all. You're Edward, right? The instructor for tonight's spin class?"

"Indeed I am. And you are?"

"I'm Lauren," she smiled coyly, and I had a hunch I knew exactly where this was going.

"Nice to meet you Lauren. Have you taken cycle before? Is there something I can help you with?"

"Oh, there are _lots_ of things you could help me with Edward, but not with cycle. I've taken it before, just not at this gym. See, I just joined here about two weeks ago. Everyone kept telling me I had just _had_ to take your class, and now I understand why. You're every bit as yummy as I've heard. I was wondering if you were free after class, maybe we could go grab a drink or something."

It was not lost on me that this Lauren chick had invaded my bubble in a fashion that could almost be deemed inappropriate.

_Yep, she went there. Fuck Cullen, you need to dispose of this quickly before Bella gets here. That is if she's still coming…_

Stepping backward to reclaim my bubble, I very politely replied, "While your offer is generous, and I'm very flattered, I must decline. I'm involved with someone very seriously and quite unavailable."

In all my life, even having a sister as spoiled as Lady Alice, never had I witnessed a female downshift from seductress to brat in such record time. In fact, I had no clue that rapid of a mood change was even possible.

"Well, how very disappointing. I won't lie, I'm totally bummed. Whoever she is, she's one lucky lady. I only hope she knows it. See you in class, Edward."

"Right, see you inside. And thank you," I called, rather awkwardly, after my new acquaintance turned on her heel and stomped into the cycle room. I grabbed two towels out of my gym bag, along with my CD's. Walking inside myself, I made my way to the back corner and draped one of the towels over Bella's coveted bike. I saved the one that Bella had been using since we started dating with the other towel, just in case. I know it was wishful thinking on my part, but still…

Suddenly, my girl walked into the room. Of course I noticed; I was far too attuned to her presence now. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she warred with herself. It was quite obvious that she didn't know exactly where she wanted to sit.

_Come on Bella, show me you trust me. Show me you can't stay too far away from me now._

I don't know what caused her posture to suddenly stiffen, but I'll be blessed if she didn't square her shoulders and march herself to the bike up front, right across from me. _Hot damn!_

Knowing full well not to do anything that would make Bella uncomfortable, I conducted class in the same manner as before we'd known one another. Except now, given our unique situation, and also because she was right in front of me, it was a hell of a lot harder not to sneak a peek at her whenever I wanted. Admittedly, that was pretty much the entire class.

There were no subtle music choices and no blatant musical overtures declaring my feelings for her. Well, not too grandiose anyway. I couldn't resist adding Pearl Jam's 'The Fixer' to the mix_. Didn't I say I never promised to play fair?_

In fact, once or twice I was certain she was stealing glances herself. I'd caught her looking at me a split second before she dropped her gaze back down in concentration. But, by far, the coolest and most encouraging thing was seeing that flash of fierceness when I walked around the room during mid-class recovery. The eyes of the ladies followed my movements a little too closely for Bella's liking. Of course I got looks. I got them every class.

Perhaps the fact that we'd been a couple before had made Bella a little less jealous. But seeing as how we were just friends now (whatthefuckever), maybe Bella felt like she no longer had the same hold on me as before.

_Oh Sweetness, if you only fully understood the strength of the powerful grasp you have me in, things wouldn't be this way. None of this nonsense would be happening right now._

The fact that she was territorial over me instilled new hope that soon her bravery would allow her to claim me in her mind the way I knew in my heart she already had. Like good 'ol Eddie just sang: _when something's broke, I wanna put a bit of fixin' on it_. Wise man that Mr. Vedder. I couldn't have said it any better myself.

So when class was over, I didn't waste a second for fear that Bella would fall back into habit of bailing immediately afterward. Luckily, the room emptied pretty quickly and in just a matter of moments, it was just her and I. She was crouched beside her bike, fiddling with her gym bag and didn't appear to notice me leaning against the seat.

"I told you I would mind my P's and Q's, didn't I Miss Swan?"

Obviously startled, Bella stood up at blinding speed, thus hitting her head with a horrible "thwack"on the handle bars. "Ouch! Son-of-a-dirty-whore-bitch!" She yelped rubbing the top of her head.

"Bella, damn, are you alright? Do you need an ice pack or something? I know that had to hurt like hell."

"No, I'm fine. Trust me, I've had a lot worse. No blood, no foul, right?"

"If you say so. Listen, I, uh, have a question for you." A wave of nervousness washed over me, drowning my earlier confidence at precisely that moment. I knew that this was important to forward progress. Now was not the time to "puss-out" as Emmett would say.

"Okay, I have an answer. Let's see if they match." She teased playfully, and sweet merciful heavens, quelling the panic that had threatened to cripple me.

"So, I was thinking that since we're friends and all…"

"Yeah?"

"And friends, you know, hang out, and do friend stuff, like see movies and eat, um, sometimes…"

"Yes?"

"Well, I was wondering if you might want to go see 'Pulp Fiction' with me at the Central and grab some dinner on Friday night. I know you're a Tarantino fan and I thought you might reward my good behavior by going with me, because I'm your friend, and-"

"Edward, I don't know, that sounds an awful lot like a date to me."

"Swear on a stack of Bibles, it's not," I put my hand over my heart, demonstrating how serious I was about that. "Look, we'll meet there. Two separate cars. If it were a date, I'd be picking you up, right?"

"I guess so." She hesitantly replied, still not convinced.

"And we can go dutch, if you like. Friends split the check, yeah?" I was on pins and needles as I waited for her answer. "Come on, just hang out with me. It'll be fun. Isn't it natural that I want to spend time with my buddy?"

_Flash the smile Cullen. Show no mercy._

_Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes._

"Sure Edward, I'll go see the movie with you. You're right. Friends do this sort of thing, so there's no time like the present."

"Awesome! I'll call you and let you know what time we should meet. I can't remember what time the movie starts."

"Sounds like a plan."

There was an uncomfortable, awkward silence that overtook the conversation, neither one of us really knowing what to do next.

"I guess I better get going," Bella said nervously as she bent down to pick up her bag, this time careful not to knock herself silly.

"Yeah, me too. So…I'll call you and give you the details. Have a good night Bella, and be careful. Maybe text me when you get to your apartment?"

Bella had started walking towards the door, but stopped short at my request. She turned and shot me a quirky look, and in a tone suggesting reprimand said, "Edward."

"What? Friends can't be concerned about one another's safety? Since when does the status of your well being and the knowledge of such constitute a crime?"

"Fine, you win. I'll text you." Bella smirked at me and shook her head. "Don't know what I'm gonna do with you." And with that, she turned and left.

While I hadn't won just yet, victory was closer that it was before. The quest would be long, of that I was certain. But I was desperate to get Bella back, almost as desperate as Marcellus Wallace was to reclaim his briefcase.

* * *

**A/N: **Hi guys. I know it's been awhile. The last few months have been extremely difficult. I've been dealing with a tragic loss in RL and needed the time to get my head together. Many of you know what I'm talking about. For those that don't, please feel free visit my profile for further explanation.

I would like to say thank you to this wonderful fandom as a whole for the amazing support and comfort given to me. The outreach has been overwhelming. I'm more grateful than you can possibly imagine for the escape and solace I've found in this fandom's strong embrace.

A huge thank you to my pre-readers **RoseArcadia, HookaShewz, Lola-pop **and** LisaMichelle17** for helping me get rid of the rust. Also to my Super Beta **Stratan**, not only for turning this around at lightening speed, but for incredible advice and terrific suggestions.

As always, thank you for your patience, your readership and sticking with me. I am truly humbled. See you all as soon as I can.


	10. Chapter 10 The Long Road to Ruin

**Disclaimer: Rated M and all that it implies. I don't own these crazy kids, just like to have silly fun with 'em.  
**

**CH 10 – The Long Road to Ruin**

It didn't matter how still I was, how tightly my eyes were closed or how deeply I breathed. My mind wouldn't settle, wouldn't empty, which was really surprising given my rum consumption for the evening. I kept waiting for the alcohol to carry me into slumber, the promise of relaxtion that just wouldn't come.

My PIC's had brought the good stuff to numb me out just like I'd asked them too, along with a coconut pie that I dove into fork first. I rinsed that down with a shot (or four) of some good 'ol Captain Morgan because that dude's the shit. Rum makes everything better. It's a universal remedy, at least for me anyway.

Letting the warmth of the liquor flow through me, I took a deep breath and unloaded all my mess onto the two people I trusted implicitly.

_Weber and Hale. My backup._

No doubt it was those two and their curious behavior that was keeping me up. Befuddlement was not a nice state for the mind to be, especially when a buzz was involved. I simply could not make heads or tails of their reaction to what had happened with Edward. Or lack thereof I should say. I mean, come on...what the hell?

They both sat there totally calm as I filled them in on every last deatil about what had transpired. Along the way I found myself deliberately pausing to allow for some sort of gasp or "Oh no he didn't!" type of response at the very least. Certainly I'd expected to restrain Rose from bolting to hunt Edward down at some point.

What I got were simple stares and minute head nods.

So I sat there and waited for something, anything very caught off guard and a whole lot perplexed at what my ears heard.

"Don't you think you might be acting a tad rashly, B?" Angela questioned.

_I beg your pardon?_

"Guys screw up. That's what they do. And in the grand scheme of things, his fuck up wasn't catastrophic. At least not in my opinion." Rose stated very matter-of-factly.

_Excuse me, come again?_

I had to wonder exactly at what point in time Rod Serling had become my tour guide. Or maybe Ashton Kutcher was about to jump out of the front closet. I almost screamed "Who are you and what have you done with my friends?"

But I didn't.

What I did was sit there and listen to their advice and didn't say a damn thing. Not one. I looked right through both of them as they told me to follow my heart for once. That I should face down my fear of getting hurt and not be so quick to ditch someone that I obviously cared so much about.

And then Angela went _there,_ to the place and person that I'd buried so long ago. That part of my life had been kept locked up tight for so long, which was really where it needed to stay. Clearly, Ang wasn't feeling me on that sentiment.

"Look, B, I know you're scared, and hell, you have every right to be after the way Jared, that wretched prick, fucked you over freshman year. You put your faith and trust in an asshole that didn't deserve them. He wore you down, and yeah you made a mistake by going against your better judgement, but -"

"Right", I blurted out, startled at the rasp in my voice, "and look where that got me. Used and tossed aside. He got what he wanted and then bailed."

"True enough Bells, but -"

I cut her off again because I really didn't want to hear another _but_.

"As heartwarming as this little stroll down memory lane has been, I'm done. I walked away from that whole ordeal understanding that I needed to stay on my level of the food chain. I get it. Guys can downshift to those of us below ScarJo status for a roll in the hay and walk away like it's nothing. I just didn't give Edward the chance to pull the same shit."

"Oh will you stop it with the 'I'm-not-worthy' rhetoric? I am so sick of that garbage. It's not fucking true and I don't want to hear anymore – _period._" Rose paused just long enough to bat down any quip I had coming back at her. Since I had nothing in the bag, she rolled with it. "Think about it Bella; if it was just about getting laid, why would he have hung around for as long as he has, and still be determined to stick around after what's happened?"

"I don't know." I answered her dryly. Truth of the matter was I really didn't. "It doesn't matter anyway. What's done is done. People always leave anyway, sooner or later."

"Oh for Christ's sake, will you quit being so melodramatic? You're really not looking at the big picture." Angela looked me dead in the eye; an unrelenting stare penetrated me with full force. She was in debate mode and I could see her organizing her argument in concise fashion.

"You learned from that whole debacle didn't you? It taught you to trust your were right all along about the jackass and you grew from that. Same thing with Garrett. Tell me you didn't have some sort of intuition that you two would be better off as friends. You gave it a shot, but at the end of the day, you guys weren't meant to be more."

I hated to admit it, but she was right.

"Then why did I allow things to progress if on some level I knew things weren't going to work?"

"Well for one because he's a good guy, and who doesn't want one of those? Put your hand down Rose, that was a rhetorical question." Angela said very curtly. We all giggled and I was silently grateful for a bit of levity. "I'm still convinced that there's one out there that's going to make you flip Hale."

Rose muttered something about unicorns and Sasquatch. Despite the lightened mood, Angela clearly hadn't gotten through all of her talking points.

"You're also human Bella and sometimes you need the real deal to get off. The combo of Tall Man and Pointer, or even the best BOB in the world are piss poor substitutes for a nice, hard slice of man. Plus, I think deep down you knew neither one of you were really all that invested anyway."

"Weber's right you know", Rose chimed in, "about going with your gut I mean." I for one could not wait hear her thoughts on the subject. "Tell me I'm wrong, but this past month, have you not been so ridiculously happy, the thought that maybe that grin just might become permanently affixed to your face? Its blatantly clear the effect he has on you."

_Well thanks Hale, thanks a fucking lot. Way to remind me how wonderful it's been and now it's all gone to __hell. Appreciate you pointing out how he can reduce me to pudding with a simple touch._

"And I will lay you odds that he's shitting his Joe Boxers that he's lost you for good. I don't think this is about wanting what he can't have. You've been in the driver seat from the word go and he's the one that put you there. Even now, you're calling the shots because you decided the thing was over."

"Not over," I corrected, "just changed course."

"I call bullshit Swan. Admit it, deep down, you know this guy could be your be all end all. And that scares the piss out of you."

_Well duh, who wouldn't be scared to turn over heart and soul lock stock and barrel only to have them obliterated? _

"You know, cowardice isn't an attribute I would pin on you. There's a beautiful shade of pink your turn when you're frustrated, and I bet you go green when you get jealous, but yellow isn't your color sweet lady. Doesn't suit you at all."

_Oh snap! She just called you out honey._

I could only imagine the look of shock on may face because Angela jumped in to soften Rose's very harsh criticism.

"Look sweetie, all we're saying is don't rule anything out. Understandably your trust is shaken; just don't ignore what your heart is screaming at you. Never say die, right?"

"Dude, we're not Goonies, Weber."

"Oh whatever. Don't tell me you're not gonna miss the treasure of his one-eyed willy." I couldn't help but crack a smile at that comment. Angela took a deep breath and added, "All kidding aside, don't let your fear cost you real happiness. If anyone deserves it, it's you Bella."

We sat in silence for a time. I debated telling them that Edward and I had talked earlier, but in the end decided I should enlighten them. Even told them he wanted me to come to class. Truthfully, given the unexpected turn of our pow wow, I wasn't at all shocked when they told me to go. He was making an effort and therefore so should I. Rose very eloquently told me to nut up.

Noncommittally agreeing to take their suggestion under advisement, we called it a night and the girls left me to my extremely clouded thoughts.

Honestly, I didn't know what to do. The want to go to class wasn't the issue - of course I wanted to go. Like I'd ever pass up a chance to see Edward. That would be like missing the opportunity to bask in the sunshine, and here in Seattle, shit, that was not something to be disregarded.

The only problem was I had huge concerns about getting sunburned, blistered even. Then again, there was that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that had me thinking that maybe, just maybe, I was flat wrong. Never in all my life had I prayed that my gut had it right and for once my head was completely mistaken.

...

...

_You can do this. Be the badass. Let the badassness possess you. Feel the badassery coursing through your veins._

Yeah, that pump-me-up speech was not cutting it. Not by a long shot.

The girl in the mirror looked scared out of her mind, like she had no clue what in hellfire she'd gotten herself into. What was she thinking agreeing to go on a not-really-date with a friend-that-should-really-have-the-word-boy included in such a description? Who the fuck was she fooling anyway?

My resolve had started to crumble before I even got through the damn door to class on Wednesday because Edward was working his all powerful mojo without even realizing it. I was poised and ready for him to snatch up whatever Ms. Skanky McNike was offering, but got the shock of my life when he refused her very blatant come on. Praise all that is holy, he had no idea I'd witnessed the episode.

Of course, after seeing him pass on a slice of free and easy, I felt one of those bricks in the newly reconstructed Great Wall of Bella shift ever so slightly with a quiet rumble.

Taking Rose's sound advice, I nutted the hell up and took the bike in front of Edward. It would be over my cold, dead body that Slutbag Extraordinaire was going to have it, of that I was sure. There was no way in creation that I was going to sit back and watch her eyefuck Edward for the duration of class. Hell-to-the-no. That was _my_ job.

In fact, the though of her making "do-me" eyes at Edward made the bile rise in my throat and my stomach turn inside out. It made me want to vomit up my spleen.

_W__ould serve you right, brainchild. You asked for this arrangement, so you might as well choke on your spewage._

I couldn't stop the bitch's ocular copulation with him, but I could damn sure make it so Edward had to look at me first before he so much as glanced in her direction. So while my behavior hadn't been tantamount to boiling bunnies, it was a shade shy of lifting my leg and pissing on him.

As it turns out, the pride I felt in controlling my own visual molestation god-smacked me silly. Clearly that conk on my noggin knocked all good sense clean out of my head. Had I been thinking rationally, would I have agreed to go along with this excursion I was about to embark on?

_Check yes in the box, like you were ever going to say no._

Since pondering the how's and why's of getting myself into this situation was accomplishing zilch, I did my best to shake my nerves and finished getting dressed. I was determined not to agonize too long over my appearance, because one didn't get all keyed up about that sort of thing when taking in dinner and a movie was all that was going on.

_With a _friend_. Don't forget that part._

The drive over to the movie theater allowed me to get my head back in the game. I had to be clear and focused on my desired objective: to enjoy hanging out with Edward while beating back the desire to make out with Edward. I was intent on keeping boundaries firm and in place.

No matter how I analyzed the situation, it would always come down to a standoff between my head and heart. Thing was, the vessel of me couldn't allow Edward to play with either one, no matter how unintentional things were on his part.

I knew without question I needed to straighten up and fly right, especially if I was going to make it through the night without making a spectacle of myself. A bad case of nerves did not bode well for my communication or gross motor skills. It was a thousand wonders I even made it through the day – I felt so addled at the office. Luckily, no one said anything about me being 'off'; however Dr. Cullen very artfully showcased his fifty-something version of his son's smirk as he said, "Have a lovely evening Isabella."

I'd been a pretty decent poker player back in the day and my game face was going to serve me well tonight. It had to. Otherwise, I was going fall right back into his arms pretending nothing had happened. As desperately as I wanted to act on that impulse, I knew that was the worst thing I could do. For either one of us.

There were lessons that we both needed to learn from this fiasco, big ones if we were going to get through things. Edward had to learn the reality of commitment, be it friend or lover. He himself acknowledged that he was relationship challenged. Somehow, he had to get that flight of fancy under control and learn how to stick.

As for me, well, facing the consequences of redefining what we were would be the most difficult thing for me. Not allowing us to forge a bond and connect on a different level wouldn't help us grow and make me seem flighty and untrustworthy. The decision to be friends was mine, and like the good man he was, he accepted my choice. To throw another change up in a moment of weakness would be wrong, no matter how right it felt.

The probability that Edward would tire of waiting for me to change my mind and move on was the greatest repercussion of my actions. One that I absolutely deserved, despite the fact that it made my nervous and digestive systems want to revolt. The thought of him looking at someone else the way he looked at me…touching someone else the way he touched me…_yeah, not gonna go there Swan. Back that truck up and turn the hell around._

At least I was a selfish enough bitch not to let any woman who wasn't blood kin get close to him right now. Which was why I'd agreed to this "not-really-a-date-but-friends-just-hanging-out" scenario in the first place. Whether or not that was fair didn't register on my moral compass right then.

As I walked toward the theater, his silhouette shone like a beacon against the backdrop of the neon lights. It appeared that said form was wearing a hole in the concrete from pacing back and forth. Edward's hands were shoved in his pockets, his stride stiff and rigid, which only became more so when he spun on his heels to change direction.

I stopped for a few moments to watch, because truth be told, it was pretty funny. It looked like he was either battling rigor mortis or belonged in the Ministry of Silly Walks. Apparently I wasn't the only one with a case of nerves. The idea that he was as on edge as much I was gave me a little comfort.

A slight gust of night air lapped against my back, whooshing my hair forwards. Almost like it was telling me to get my ass in gear. It was when I saw Edward jerk his hand from his pocket to look at his watch, I realized it was time to put one foot in front of the other and put the man at ease. Although I sort liked the fact that I wasn't alone on the tension train, I just couldn't stand to see him so agitated.

"Hey," I said softly as I stopped in front of him.

The second he saw me, his whole demeanor shifted. Relief burst forth replacing the anxiety that had been present merely two paces prior. But then just as quickly, doubt overcame him as his eyes seemed to question whether or not I was really there. Could he have possibly thought I wasn't going to show?

"Hey, you." He said with a tentative expression, his face filled with apprehension. "I was uh…yeah I didn't know how far away you were, or if you'd changed your mind, and I didn't want to bother you by calling your cell, so I went ahead and bought your ticket – I, um, I hope that's okay."

_Oh God. He's __so hot when he's nervous._

He thought I wasn't coming. Adonis incarnate thought he was going to get stood up, which had to be a sign that the Apocalypse was nigh upon on us. Or that the thermostat in Hell had taken a downturn of tundric proportions. I felt certain that the possibility a date might bail on him was a completely foreign concept his brain had never encountered.

"That's fine Edward, no worries, alright? Oh, heyyy there…" I was abruptly taken by surprise as I found myself being pulled forward. Moving almost in a blur, Edward chucked whatever misgivings were in his system as I found myself thoroughly swathed in his embrace that surrounded me was firm both and gentle all at the same time. Dangerously delightful and all-encompassing, I wouldn't have moved from it to save my life.

It wasn't _altogether_ inappropriate and it didn't _necessarily_ cross any "more-than-comrades" boundaries. The casual observer _probably _wouldn't have the thought that we should get a room given how close our bodies _actually _were. Friends hugged all the time, right?

I could feel his heart thumping and the rise and fall of his body all around me; quite certain he could feel the same from me. I could feel the slightest nuzzle of his nose in my hair. I could feel his body barely sway, my own having no choice but to follow his minuscule motions. I could feel him hold back from pressing into me as tightly as he clearly wanted to.

With the slightest adjustment in pressure, I could enfold into him entirely; with the tiniest shift of my head, I could change the nature of this grasp and the tenor of this moment. Pondering the many 'coulds' of this situation was going to cause another one of those Acmes to shift if I didn't focus.

"Yeah, we can just square off…shit, I mean up, inside." Battle station manned; however, my verbal filter had clearly short-circuited.

Edward pulled back far enough to look at me, his expression a mixed bag of confusion and amusement.

"I didn't know we were at war here."

"We're not, sorry, that did not come out right at all." I backpedaled furiously knowing that I needed to lighten things up quickly. "You have to admit, you can be pretty sneaky sometimes."

"This is true, but I assure you the friendship medal is legitimate. No kamikaze missions I promise." Suddenly, he leaned down perilously close to Battleship Row and whispered, "You can trust me Bella."

_Then why did I feel like I was about to sink?_

We went inside and found seats to our liking, thus grabbing menus so we could figure out what to order.

"So, is this a wine kind of night or does rum and coke sound better?" Edward asked while casually looking things over.

Straight up, my heart quickstepped at the realization of just how well he got me. And then my head sort of pulsated as memories of the rum I'd inhaled only a few days ago came flooding back to me.

"I'm definitely feeling the Sangria tonight – theirs is the best bar none."

Our waiter showed up, politely taking our order. After he'd returned with our drinks, we settled in making idle small talk and attempting to find the middle ground of commradery. It was a relief to be able to relate to Edward in a different manner. Comfortable and easy.

"So, Dad roped us into this co-ed baseball league through the hospital. Did he recruit you?"

"Absolutely not." I said with a giggle. "He knows me well enough that he understands I have zero athletic ability. The object is to actually win, right? I can pretty much guarantee that wouldn't be the outcome if my name is on the roster."

"Oh come on, you can't be that bad. No one is completely lacking in skill."

"I swear to you that I am; you can ask Charlie. He tried for years to turn me into the son he always wanted. Telling the story about how I gave myself a black eye is his favorite pastime. I was about six and he got the bright idea we should play catch, even bought me a spiffy pink glove. Let's just say it wasn't pretty."

"Aww, poor itty Bella," Edward teased, "that is a story I plan on hearing in full detail."

"Well, not from me you won't."

"I will get the goods, you can believe that sweetheart."

The cat-eat-shit- grin that was plastered all over his extremely slurpable face made me want to dump my Sangria all over it, then promptly lick it off. I decided taking one hell of a guzzle from the aforementioned wine was a much better plan of action.

"Lucky for you, I'm an excellent teacher. You yourself have witnessed my gift for superior instruction firsthand. Give me a few private sessions in the batting cages and you'll be ready for the 'show'."

"Not even _you're_ that good Cullen."

"Oh but I think you know I am Swan – and then some."

_Sweet Savior, please make Criss Angel quit mind-freaking me. I can't take anymore._

A thousand blessings were heaped upon me as the waiter arrived with our food. I needed to shove something in my pie hole before I said something mortifying or ridiculous. I had never been so thankful for sustenance in my whole life. I needed diversion from all the innuendo he was throwing down.

As we ate in contented silence, I only found myself _slightly _distracted by the long pulls he took from his Killian's and the delicious way his lips wrapped around the bottleneck. The way his tongue swept across his lower lip to capture the melted strings of cheese from his pizza had me only _mildly_ engrossed. It was an absolute Godsend when the lights lowered and the opening credits started rolling.

Not two seconds after I ordered my second Sangria, Edward very stealthily breathed into my ear, "You better pace yourself there, otherwise I'll have to chauffeur you home. Not that I mind driving Ms. Bella or anything. I'm up for the job if necessary."

Forcing myself to meet the stare of my biggest frenemy, the dim lighting of the theater only accentuated the cunning glint in those viridian eyes. "Duly noted, juice box monitor," I quipped. Although I wasn't an RN by trade, I was going to nurse that drink for all it was worth. Edward having to drive my buzzed ass home was a Pandora's Box that I wasn't about to open right now. No matter how badly I wanted to tamper with that blasted lock.

Of course, Edward knew he was getting to me. He never missed a chance to brush my elbow with his. There was not a single wasted opportunity for a knee graze as he shifted in his seat; that familiar electricity still charged between us just like before.

The piece de resistance was delivered just as the original (and exponentially more talented) JT and Uma got up to their little dance number on the silver screen. "It has to be said; I put that guy to shame with my technique. I have moves that defy the laws of motion."

"Oh really? That's big talk there stud. Tony Monero and Danny Zuko aren't exactly schleps."

"Well, perhaps one day sooner than later you'll let me demonstrate."

I gulp-swallowed, the flavor of subterfuge coating my throat on the way down. As bitter as I wanted it to taste, it really didn't. "Yeah, well there's a reason they don't call me Grace. Dancing and I aren't exactly on the same page, so I'll have to take a pass."

"Trust me," said the spider to the fly, "it's all in the leading."

I turned my head back to the screen, suddenly very interested in the fuckery that Vince and Mia were about to get into. Luckily, my date in pals clothing decided to cool it with the subtle taunts as the movie played on. I knew he was having fun teasing me like that, obviously very aware of the voodoo he could still work on me.

The movie ended and before I could reach for my purse, Edward had already given the waiter his credit card to settle the bill. I quite possibly checked to make sure that he didn't have 'Bad Mother Fucker' emblazoned on his wallet.

"Wait a minute," I said in protest to his mutinous behavior, "I thought we had a dutch arrangement going on. You bought my ticket, and now you're paying for dinner. Not what I agreed to."

"Point being?"

"For something that isn't supposed to be a duck, I see a lot of waddling and quacking taking place tonight."

"Nonsense," he grinned, "you can pick up the tab next time. I think that sounds more than fair don't you?"

_And there it was._

As I dumbly nodded in agreement, his D-day mission was all but complete. Not only had he gotten his way by paying for everything, he had very decisively secured another 'buddy get together'. God I was in so much trouble. Evading capture was looking more and more difficult from where I stood. I was for sure going to need way better strategy and sturdier reinforcements next time.

We walked outside, the breeze of sudden awkwardness wafting between us. What was the proper way to end the night? A handshake? A high-five? Another hug?

Edward, being the consummate gentleman, insisted on walking me to my car. Filling the silence on the way, we discussed all things Tarantino and the brilliance of his films. He of course found it strange that I had an affinity for them given their violent nature.

"What can I say? I'm a masochist at heart. But come on, you know there's more to them than just bloodshed. The fact that they're filled with brilliant performances can't be overlooked."

"Absolutely. In fact, Sam Jackson's portrayal of Jules is one of his best ever, in my humble opinion. The fact that a complete hardass can have a life-altering epiphany, walk away from evil like that and still manage to look cool as fucking hell doing it, well it makes me believe that even the worst of us have a shot at redemption. Nothing like witnessing a miracle to make you get your shit straight."

"You make it sound so simple Edward." I replied, as the feeling that he wasn't just talking about the movie anymore struck me.

"Like Jules said, all shapes and sizes."

"Well, I think Vince has a valid point doubting the whole water into wine business. I mean, do you really believe that?" Even I could hear the way my voice wavered, my inquiry tinged with unease.

"What I think," he very carefully said, "is that will echo Jules' response: If my answers frighten you Bella, then you may want to cease asking scary questions."

* * *

A/N: I know it's been awhile, but I'm still here. Your patience and encouragement are priceless. I am truly humbled and immensely grateful if you're still with me.

Big bear hugs and sloppy kisses to my pre-readers **RoseArcadia, HookaShewz, lola-pop and LisaMichelle17** - you guys are cooler than the other side of the pillow. A gargantuan "I'm not worthy" to Super Beta, **Stratan. **He shall have his own theme song by the time this thing is done.

As always, massive thanks to you guys who read and leave me a holla. Makes me goofy stupid.

I've been sucked in by the lure of the Twitter: http:/twitter(dot)com/stephk0525. Come find me and we can play.


	11. Chapter 11 Just Roll with It Baby

**Disclaimer: "M" for grown up words and the occasional tangy stuff. Alas, I'm still Steph, just not of her variety and have no claim on the trademark. What happens within the confines of the following pages just sounds good in my head, so I go with it.**

**CH 11 - Just Roll with it Baby**

**BPOV**

"So, there we were traveling the back roads of Podunkville, Kentucky, the truck was overheating, and of course, you know me, the banjos from 'Deliverance' were all I heard. Thank the good Lord we finally found our way back to the main highway and stumbled on a Walmart. Of course, that was a scary experience in and of itself."

Oh, how I loved talking to Renee. Seriously. It never ceased to amaze me the crap that she and Phil seemed to get into when they were out on the road.

"So what was wrong with Pudge Fisk?" I asked, laughing at Phil's name for his Dodge pickup. For some reason, he idolized the Red Sox catcher from the 70's and decided it a fitting homage to christen his beloved truck after the guy.

"It was the radiator. Apparently, when he had it flushed before we left, the guys at Discount Tire screwed it up. Anyway, Bobbyjoejimbob there at Wally World got us all fixed up and sent us on our way."

"It sucks that happened, but luckily you guys got it all taken care of."

"Yeah, you know, it's always an adventure with us." She sighed, and I chuckled because that was the truth.

"So things are going well then? You guys are good?"

"Oh yes! I forgot to tell you – the Suns extended Phil's contract another two years? Hopefully by the end of this one he'll have a team offering a manger position. I mean hitting coach is good for now, but I know he wants more control. My man is one with a plan baby girl."

I 'hmmmed' in agreement; I hadn't realized how long it had been since I talked to my mom. I missed her and really enjoyed being able to play catch up.

"Speaking of plans," she started, "how did Charlie handle you not going to Forks for Easter? What did you tell him about Edward?"

"He was disappointed, but I told Dad I'd definitely be there Memorial Day weekend. As far as Edward went, I just told him there were communication issues and we decided to be friends."

"Meaning you sugarcoated it?"

"Sort of, I guess."

"Did you ever tell him that Edward was Dr. Cullen's son?"

"Definitely not." I replied, my tone a little on the defensive side.

"Isabella Marie!" My mother reprimanded me like she'd caught me spitting my lima beans into my napkin when I was a kid. "You know omitting information is basically the same as lying."

"Mom, come on. You know Dad prefers to be on a need to know basis. It's a moot point anyway, it's not like he'll ever meet Edward." As soon as I'd said that, I felt a pang of sadness. Something deep down told me that Charlie and Edward would have gotten along. Well, at least after Charlie put down his Colt .45 anyway.

"You never know Bella. The fates might have something to say about that."

"I don't know about all that Mom." I was glad that we were on the phone and not in person so that she couldn't see me shaking my head in crazy speculation. Fate was not something I was a huge proponent of these days.

"Well, let me ask since you won't volunteer anything. How's the buddy system going? We haven't really talked much the last month with all the traveling Phil and I have been doing."

Curling up on my couch, I settled back and gave my mom the not-so-juicy details she was obviously jonesing for. Like how Edward and I hung out a lot, a real lot if I were being truthful. Since that first dinner and a movie, nary a weekend went by that we weren't in each others company. I told Renee about the intense battles on the Wii over at Edward's. I had to laugh when I recalled how he got the "poochy-lip disease" after I schooled him in ping pong. Then there were the movie nights and epic domino battles at my place. I wasn't very good at dominoes when we first started, but I had improved and found myself letting him win sometimes. Edward was not a gracious loser _at all_.

Surprisingly, Edward had seen a good number of my favorite chick flicks thanks to Alice. But when I exposed him to the Haley Mills Disney classics, shit, his reaction was priceless. He actually teared up at 'Pollyanna', which made me want to snuggle him into my chest. Somehow, I found the willpower not to; however, I wasn't totally heartless as I got him a tissue. Then I sort of made light of things by telling him that maybe we should play the glad game.

This impressed my mom to no end as she lamented I had a keeper on my hands, especially when I told her Edward agreed that the original 'Parent Trap' was far and away better than the remake. I'm pretty sure she even told me to "get with the program nitwit."

On the surface, I knew she was teasing, but deep down I suspected she was fractionally serious.

"Are you my kid or not honey?"

"Of course, but what does that have to do with anything?" I had no clue what point she was trying to make with that question.

"I didn't raise you to run."

"Look Mom, not to be disrespectful, but yeah, you kind of did. That's exactly what I learned when you took me and left Dad. You ran and never looked back."

"I most certainly did not, young lady. You need to check yourself, missy." She took a deep breath and sighed; I knew I'd upset her, although all I was doing was giving her my honest opinion. "Look, I want you to search the half of you that's my DNA because you're letting your Dad's half rule you right now. If you're not careful, it could cost you something wonderful."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?"

"I'm not trying to be, honestly. But, there's a big difference between running away from something you don't want and never will because it scares you versus something you do want because of fear it might not work out. You may call it running, but I say I was moving toward something that would make me happy."

"Semantics. Six is one half-dozen of the other." I muttered.

"Bella, honey you are sprinting a mile a minute because you are petrified of the risks. The problem is, you're not really going anywhere, and I think you know that."

Renee was many things: flighty, carefree, loving and supportive. But when push came to shove, she was damn insightful too, which is something I often overlooked. Her moments of keen observation were few and far between, but experience had taught me that she was right on the money when they did hit, and I should hear her out. I just didn't know when I'd be ready to really listen.

True to his word, Edward decided that he was going to make a major leaguer out of me come hell or high water. I should have suspected that father-son tag team effort when Dr. Cullen started making not-so-subtle comments regarding the lack of estrogen on the co-ed team. Much to my chagrin, I knew the time had come to face the cages and fear the bat no more.

We met over at Stod's Baseball and not surprisingly, the outing was a comedy of errors from the moment I stepped up to the plate. At least that was the way it seemed. It wasn't only my complete lack of athletic ability that made it so ridiculous. The up close and very hands on tutelage of my own personal Coach Hotpants resulted in my less than concentrated focus.

The weather had decided to cooperate by turning out nice and sunny, which I had mistakenly let lull me into a false sense of security. Surely the beautiful day was an omen that this endeavor would be a success and I wouldn't end up fracturing something. The temperatures had started to warm, the landscapes having turned a lush green and the cloudless blue sky made the setting nothing short of spectacular.

"Okay Bella, this is the correct way to grip the bat. Bend your knees slightly and make sure you're over the plate." Edward explained as he demonstrated with what I was sure was textbook perfect positioning. Doing my best to emulate him, I must have looked like I'd either thrown out my back, or was severely constipated. Edward had no qualms about laughing openly as he evaluated my batting stance.

"Look, I'm doing the best I can over here, you nimrod!" I yelled a whole lot defensively. I was trying as best I could dammit…

"What did you just call me?" He asked with the quirk of his brow, the upturned corner of his mouth just begging to be nibbled on.

"Nothing, just some goofy nickname Charlie gave one of his deputies." I choked back a laugh because I knew for a fact there was absolutely nothing _nim _about Edward's rod.

"I think it would behoove you to remember that your ass is mine, Swan."

_Fuck me, it sure is Skipper._

Demonstrating that he meant serious business, Edward turned his ball cap backwards, and shit did that make it hard to hone in on whatever it was he was gonna show me. "Now, a little focus if you please."

_Well, not with your ownership of my ass there's not._

I made my eyes unglaze as Edward walked towards me in an attempt to help fix my posture. God bless if he wasn't the picture of homemade sin with his Oakley wrap-arounds and homeboy-style Mariner's hat. My heart pounded just a little bit faster the closer Mr. Baseball got to me.

For someone who had the pinks on my hind quarters, his touches were nothing but feather light. The way he gently bent my elbows at just the right angles; the delicate press of his fingers against my shoulders; the almost weightless push as he altered my hip placement.

_I am so screwed._

It didn't matter how incidental the contact, that white-noise-current of electricity was still there, an ever present reminder of what never stopped flowing between us. Obviously, my skin hadn't gotten the memo that this shit wasn't cool anymore because there went the goose bumps all up and down my arms. My body sure could be an insubordinate hussy at the most inopportune of moments.

"There, that's a ton better." He said after he was satisfied that my posture passed muster. "You look much less _uncomfortable_." Edward grabbed his glove and ball and trotted over to the mound. Of course I was mesmerized by the way his derriere jostled beneath his athletic shorts. It was like being hypnotized by those sing-along-songs on kids' shows that told you to "just follow the bouncing ball."

"Okay Swan, eye on the ball." _Oh right, that ball._ "Swing and connect, and you got it."

The next series of events were such blurs; even I was amazed at how quickly I ended up on the tush I no longer retained. I saw the ball coming toward me, but instinct kicked in and I shut my eyes. Blindly swinging, albeit clearly a beat too late, I felt the ball hit my shoulder about a quarter second before ending up on my keister.

"Motherfuck, Bella! Are you okay?"

Edward ran over, kneeling down over me to assess how badly I'd hurt myself. My arm stung, and I knew for sure there would be an ugly bruise. It was my pride that no doubt suffered the strongest blow; the level of my embarrassment was at defcon five. Oh I'd assplanted countless times in my day, just never in front of someone who I regarded with such _intensity_.

"I'm fine Edward, really. Just epically humiliated, that's all."

Helping me up, Edward started to laugh, which gave way to a fit of hysterics as I dusted myself off. I failed to see the humor of the situation and quite frankly was getting a little miffed. I mean, it was his idea to come to this danger cage in the first place. It wasn't like I volunteered for this shit.

"You know, you might want to breathe at some point," I deadpanned as Edward doubled over, his hands on his knees and shoulders visibly shaking, "or don't, and suffocate jackass."

"I'm – I'm sorry Bella, but oh God…you're killing me, Smalls, you're killing me." He managed to huff out in a "wheeew" and catch his breath.

"Smalls? What the hell is _Smalls_?" I knew for a fact he was not referring to my girls as he never had anything but praise for them.

"You know from 'The Sandlot'?" I shook my head as I had no clue what he was referencing. "You know the movie with the kids and Babe Ruth's baseball and the beast?"

"Nope, totally unfamiliar with that one."

"And Charlie fancies himself a baseball fan. He should be ashamed of not making you watch a classic such as that. It's settled; we have our winner for movie night."

"If you insist coach."

"I do." He took a moment, pursing his lips as he seemed to be pondering something. "I think," he started "our best bet to work on your swing is to use the pitching machine. That way I can stand behind you, help keep your stance and you can get a feel for timing."

"You're the boss."

"You got that right," he retorted with a head nod and went to set up the machine.

No doubt, that contraption made me about thirty levels of uneasy as I realized it would be hurling balls at my head at God-only-knows-what-speeds. I sensed a black eye at the very least in my immediate future. As Edward was making adjustments to the equipment, my brain finally made the leap just how close we would be in a matter of moments. I didn't know which was more dangerous to my well-being: the harbinger of baseball death or Edward's body practically soldered to mine.

"Alrighty, then, we're all set." He said jogging over to the plate. "We've got sixty seconds before it fires off the first pitch, and then there's a twelve second pause in between each one."

Edward took the bat from my hands and moved to stand behind me. Much like before, he adjusted my grip and lightly shifted my body into proper form. However, unlike a few moments ago, Edward positioned his body flush against mine as he wrapped himself around me and placed his hands strategically around mine so that he was holding the bat as well.

_Fuck the Curse of the Great Bambino… this right here was torture._

There, ensnared in his arms, I knew I was flirting with danger. Like a minuscule fly darting in and around a Venus Flytrap, it was inevitable that I'd get too close and SNAP! I'd be swallowed whole. It was only a matter of mere moments before the reflex action of the jaws would close, entrapping me and leaving me helpless.

I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against my back as the vibration of his heartbeat resonated straight through me, and somehow synced up with my own. My psyche became lost in the copacetic rhythm of the _thump-thump, thump-thump _and in an uncontrollable response to the soothing sensation, I felt my eyes begin to close…

"Any second, you'll hear the machine make a clicking sound and release the first pitch. Just keep your eyes open and let me guide the swing, okay?"

"Right. Right, I gotcha. I'm ready." My eyes popped open as I lied through my teeth.

_CLICK!_

_WHOOSH!_

_CRACK!_

Just like Edward said, I heard the noise a split second before I saw the ball come hurling towards us. Giving way to his movement, I allowed him to lead and felt the bat make contact. The resulting thwack and jarring sensation signified a successful hit, and what a rush it was.

"Oh my God, we did it!" I cried out, beside myself with joy that we not only had gotten a hit, but that my face wasn't pummeled in the process. Oh, if Charlie could see me now…

"We did, Smalls! Awesome!" He shouted, the excitement palpable in both his voice and in the air. "Okay," Edward said, returning back to teacher mode, "We need to regroup because there's another one coming… NOW!"

_CLICK!_

_WHOOSH!_

_CRACK!_

Another hit. This time we settled back into position immediately getting prepared for it to fire again. I felt Edward encase the bat harder in his grip, his arms pulling me tighter against his rigid form. In a reflex action beyond my control, my body innately pressed and wiggled back into him, traitorous wench that she was.

_CLICK!_

Another pitch thundered toward us; my entire being lurched as we swung, a simultaneous "gahhhh" bellowed from us both as the ball was sent flying.

"Yeah, that's it." Edward murmured in my ear.

Chills ricocheted all over me, and like the glutton for punishment I was, I turned my face to him and smiled. "I'm feeling it Edward, I'm really feeling it." I gushed; proud we were three for three.

No sooner than those words left my mouth, I really did feel _it. Him. Swelling._

_Oh. My. God._

There was no mistaking that other big stick that Edward carried, which was very firmly pressed into the small of my back.

"Uh, umm, Edward?" I gasped in total disbelief.

"Oh shit," he growled.

_CLICK!_

_WHOOSH!_

_THUD!_

We toppled to the ground just as the pitch whizzed past our falling bodies. I landed in a heap on top of Edward, surprised that somehow in mid-spill he'd managed to maneuver us so he could cushion my fall.

If things were awkward before, they were even more so now. The bat we'd held had been chucked aside, but the bat in Edward's pants was now firmly connected to my home plate. _Talk about finding the sweet spot. _

Not even his shades could shield the utter mortification in those fields of green. Once the panic of falling had subsided and the shock of nearly getting beaned had waned, the stunning realization of our position washed over me like a tidal wave. I honestly don't know what came with more force, the horror or the lust. Edward's unmistakable arousal made it impossible not to acknowledge my own.

Here I was, spread eagle atop HBJ Extraordinaire, and of course, all my body wanted to do was grind into him. Why wouldn't that be the case? It was learned behavior previously rewarded with positive reinforcement in all prior instances.

Before I could do or say anything, Edward abruptly sat up and rolled me off of him. If I hadn't been so embarrassed myself, I probably would've been a little miffed at being unceremoniously tossed back on the ground. He stood up at lightening speed, his back to me of course, clearly not wanting me to see the craziness going on in his pants.

"God, Bella I'm so damn sorry. I - I can't believe that…fuck… I didn't mean to –"

_CRASH!_

Another ball careened into the fence, causing me to throw my arms over my head in hopes I wouldn't be hit. With a glance over his shoulder, Edward said to "take ten" and he'd be back. I didn't even have time to respond as he'd already darted to the machine and shut it off.

"Edward, wait!" I called out to him. My cries went unanswered as I watched his fleeing form race inside the building to God knows where.

_Holy. Hell._

I never would have guessed _that _would be the way I'd end up in the dirt. Upon further reflection, it shouldn't have been so shocking that Edward would end up with a boner around me at some point. I mean, my body had the same responses to him as before, but I fought to keep them to myself. Of course, his equipment didn't afford him the luxury of secrecy.

Groaning, I stood up and again dusted off the remnants of my collision with the ground. To say things would be weird when Edward reappeared would be the understatement of the decade. I knew I had to ease the awkwardness of things as best I could. The only way to do that was to address the behemoth mastodon on the field instead of deflecting the issue.

I would be completely honest in letting him know that he wasn't the only one having that type of problem. It was absolutely understandable because our relationship started in such a physical nature. And even though we'd tapped the breaks at one point before switching gears, it was only natural that our physiological reactions would stay the same. There just had to be some latitude and understanding granted until things changed.

And while I was sure I would pretty much always want Edward that way, I knew it was only a matter of time before he found a more-than-willing object to satisfy those needs. I stopped that line of thinking right there; once that happened I would lose my compadre and see a whole lot less of him. I mean really, what self respecting girl would allow a prize like Edward to keep hanging with someone he used to be intimately involved with?

As painful as that thought was, one thing gave me a small shred of comfort: the time would come when Edward would tire of her flavor. I would be ready and waiting for my friend to come back to me. Was that the very definition of pathetic? It sure as fuck was. Did I give two shits? Nope, because at least "Smalls" wouldn't get old.

My inner musings halted the second I saw a very sheepish HBJ walk back outside, his gaze focused on his feet as he ambled toward me. Talk about getting your hand caught in the cookie jar. He stood in front of me for a few moments before he lifted his head and sucked in a huge breath, clearly ready to apologize.

"Edward, before you start, just listen for a second, okay?"

He nodded his head, his eyes apprehensive and woeful. The look on his face was just so sad and totally tugged at my heart. I had to rectify that immediately. _God, I am such a sucker…_

"I don't want you to feel bad about you know…your, uh, issue as it were, alright? It's not a problem."

"How can you say that?" He asked the question full of disbelief and incredulity. "I basically accosted you with my dick, Bella. That's inappropriate and embarrassing and just-"

"Not something you can control Edward. It's totally understandable. In fact, I get it a little better than you might think. I still have _certain _responses to you too that I can't reign in sometimes. It's just not as obvious."

"You do? Really?"

"Well, yeah, of course I do. I'm human aren't I?" I stated very matter-of-factually. "Look, let's not make an issue out of it. I'm not mad or offended at all. It's no big deal, honestly."

He glanced downward at his shorts and smirked, "Well actually, I think it is kind of a big deal."

"Oh my God! Dude, you did not just make a size reference!"

"I sure as hell did. Pancho has feelings you know."

"Excuse me, Pancho? You named _it_? When did you do that?"

Edward, obviously in rare form, started laughing and held up his hand. "Pretty much since Lefty here became his faithful partner."

I still didn't know how we managed it, but somehow Edward and I were able to turn the awkward events of batting practice around and find our chill zone. Settling on movie night at my place, we made stops at the store to grab stuff for dinner and by Emmett's to borrow his copy of 'The Sandlot'.

Emmett, being a product of Esme's genetic material, wanted to know how my first lesson went. There was no way in hell either of us were copping to the truth with that question. Instead, Edward said that I'd been dubbed "Smalls" and that should be indicative about our time at the cages.

And, admittedly, after watching the movie, it was clear that my new nickname was well deserved and more than appropriate. It didn't send chills up my spine the way "Sweetness" did, but it was a happy medium and still something special just for me.

We decided that "Bull Durham" was next on the baseball themed movie marathon. It was one we'd both seen as Crash Davis was one of Charlie's most loved movie heroes. I was so full of tacos and margaritas that it wasn't very long into the movie before I felt my eyelids get heavy. Surely I'd dozed off into some erotic dream because I heard Edward say "Amen" in reverence to Crash's belief in "long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days." Shortly thereafter, he tried to teach me to breathe through my eyelids while I was tied up and blindfolded on his bed.

I woke up to the realization that the movie was almost over and I was alone on the couch. Sitting up and shaking the cobwebs out of my head, I strained to see if Edward was in the kitchen, which he was not. The shutting of drawers in my bathroom tipped me off to his whereabouts.

As I went into my room and toward the bathroom door, I wondered just what on Earth he could possibly be looking for in my bathroom. It was fully stocked with toilet paper, and he knew where I kept the Advil and Tylenol. But just before I could ask what was up with the treasure hunt, I heard him say, "What the fuck is this?"

Followed by the sound of a slow _buzzzzzzzzzz_.

_Oh no, he didn't._

And then the buzzing got faster.

_Oh yes, he did._

I stood utterly aghast at the knowledge that Edward had not only found my Golden God of Eggstacy, but was messing with my very favorite substitute for his tongue. My first reaction was to throw the door open and tell him to leave my shit alone. However, the thought of seeing him with one of my toys would either embarrass the hell out of both of us, or turn us into complete and total horndogs.

Having decided that I'd dodged enough bullets for one day, I scurried off as quietly as possible and resumed my previous position on the couch. My plan of action was to feign sleep. After all, Edward had no clue that I'd been on the other side of the door; I saw no reason to enlighten him either. He could remain blissfully oblivious as far as I was concerned.

As convincingly as my questionable acting skills would permit, I waited patiently and strained to hear him come back into the living room. It took thoughts of George Bush in a speedo and Johnny Knoxville in drag with saggy boobs to rid my mind of what he was doing behind closed doors.

But the longer I lay there, the more my curiosity grew as to what was taking him so damn long, especially since I couldn't eavesdrop anymore. The suspense was killing me, so I took the risk of getting caught and tiptoed back into my room. I was nowhere near prepared for what I heard next.

Despite the muffled sound, there was no mistaking the soft grunts being made from the inside of my bathroom. I tried thinking of a thousand other reasons to explain them away, but to no avail. If there was a sliver of doubt (which there wasn't), the stifled "nngggahhh" immediately followed by the muted hiss told me all I needed to know.

Edward was indeed rubbing one out no less than three feet away from me. The fact that we were separated by a mere two inches of plywood did nothing to stop the visions that flooded my brain. To see Edward handling up on his business, touching and stroking himself to the point of release…

The flush of the toilet disposing of any evidence and the running faucet pulled me from the intensely stimulating fantasy of Edward getting himself off. I had about twenty seconds before I was busted, and there was no way I was going to chance that happening. Bolting as if my life depended on it, I again scurried back to my space on the sofa and pretended to be asleep.

I heard the door open and close and prayed with everything in me that I still looked out of it. I silently counted to calm myself, hitting the number forty-five when I finally felt the couch shift. Thank God I had my back to him so he couldn't see how tightly my eyes were squeezed.

My question of what he used for lubrication was answered as I felt his hand brush my hair away from my face. The subtle, yet not totally masked scent of powder mixed with hand soap indicated he'd found my bottle of baby oil under the sink.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he murmured, his hand grazing my neck. "Wow, you really crashed out on me didn't you? You're all flushed and sweaty there, Smalls."

I faked a yawn and turned over to face him. To further sell my performance, I threw out the full-body stretch, complete with rapid eye-blinking just to make sure he was indeed convinced. "Yeah, I guess I did. Tequila sometimes has that effect on me. Some people get mean, I just get sleepy."

"Remind me never to do shots of Patron with you then." He laughed, moving down to the end of the couch to grab his shoes. "I'm going to go ahead and take off, okay? You look pretty beat."

"Yeah, you look kind of beat yourself." I couldn't help but smirk.

Fortunately for me, Edward seemed as eager to leave as I was to get him out the door. I was a jumbled, turned on mess and needed some relief myself. It took me all of fifteen seconds flat after I'd locked the door to grab extra batteries so I could spend some quality time with my Golden God.

* * *

**EPOV**

I had yet to meet the man, but something told me that Officer Charles Swan and I were going to get along just fine. We had too many commonalities not to. We shared a love of all things Bella and all things baseball, so there was not a doubt in my mind I would win him over when the opportunity presented itself.

And teaching Bella to hit, and hit well, was going to score me some major points with the Chief. It didn't take me long to understand why he'd abandoned ship all those years ago. From an athletic standpoint, the girl seemed like a lost cause. Fortunately, I had an abundance of patience and loved a challenge. Case in point: doing the friend thing for as long as it took for Bella to feel safe so we could be more.

After today's session at the cages, it was clear that Bella wasn't the only one that had something to learn.

I'd always been proud of my iron will. I was raised to have a strong intestinal fortitude and restraint. The truth was, every man had his weakness and it was clear my self control was for shit around Bella.

Being close to her like that, my body wrapped around hers in a way that mine had missed for far too long…

_Whoa, hold up there hoss. _It was that very line of thinking that caused a situation in the first place.

I was one lucky bastard that Bella didn't get pissed off about Pancho's attempted hold up. I know I took off like a little bitch, but the embarrassment was too fucking much. It wasn't the first time since the change-up that I'd gotten a stiffy from being around her. But since she always kept a certain distance between us, that shit was easier to hide. Whenever that would happen, I'd flood my brain with images of Margaret Thatcher naked or reflect on how crushed I was when A-Rod signed with the Rangers. Those were some serious boner binders for me and always did the trick.

Once I'd calmed the fuck down and came out of hiding, I pretty much ran the gamut of emotions: shock, disappointment, fear and relief. That last one was certainly welcome. Quite frankly, I had expected a meltdown of epic proportions when I got back outside; but leave it to Bella to throw me a curve ball.

Not only was she _not_ furious with me for being such a guy, but she understood my plight. It was satisfying and incredibly awesome to know that she felt the same way I did. Bella admitted that she still had certain reactions to me too, that _those _types of responses hadn't changed. And that's when I knew things were working. I knew deep down it was just a matter of time before that shield dissipated. Systematically finding little weaknesses, I'd been testing her strength for signs of fatigue, and sure enough, they were starting to show.

Granted, Bella was as stubborn as the as the day was long. No doubt this was another trait passed along to her by dear old dad. But, there were moments when I thought I could feel _it_, that buzzing still in the air between us; the electrified particles in the air that just energized everything. I swear sometimes I could vaguely see it in her eyes, a flickering remnant of want. For me. For us.

When she confirmed my suspicion, it gave me the added stamina I needed to stay the course. Bella still grappled with those same feelings too, and as hard as she tried not to have them, they were beyond her control. All I had to do was keep focused until she stopped trying to rein them in the first place.

So, I decided to lighten things up when she said not to make a big deal of it. Always the pervert (who was insanely proud of his junk), I couldn't resist making the obvious joke about my dick; which caused Bella to turn about twelve shades of pink. It thrilled me that I still made her flush, even if it was only with my words and not my actions.

Somehow, the craziness of the day had allowed us to deal with an issue we'd both tried to ignore and move forward. Ending up at her place for dinner and a movie was about as good a way as any to do just that.

The soft "psssht" from the other end of the couch told me that I was the only one watching the TV right then. Not at all surprising, my sleeping angel had drifted off into what I'd selfishly hoped were dreams of me. God knows Bella had never ceased being the object of mine.

The margaritas that Bella drank with dinner must have been too much. Bless her heart; she made it through 'The Sandlot', which thankfully she really liked. I figured she would since 'Smalls' was her new moniker. It didn't have near the ring that 'Sweetness' did, but it would do until the time came when I could call her that again. _And it would, of that I was certain._

I suggested we stick with the baseball theme of movie night, but was a little surprised that Bella had seen 'Bull Durham'. I was very impressed that Charlie had exposed her to one of the best sports flicks of all time. The other thing her dad had right was the absolute greatness of Crash Davis, who was, quite possibly, the most awesome sports character ever created.

His "I believe" speech was sheer brilliance, and I'd memorized that damned thing like a prayer. I upheld every stinking one of those ideals and carried them close to my heart. I absolutely believed in the soul, the cock, the pussy and the small of a woman's back. I'd defend that both Astroturf and the DH should be done away with until the day I died; and I sure as fuck believed in the sweet spot - and not just in baseball either. As always, when Crash finished his sermon, I bowed my head and offered a reverent "Amen".

"Mmmmuuhhh."

The soft, breathy moan that came from the other end of the couch caught not only my attention, but also my dick's. That delicately sensual sound was like wake up call to the bastard because the fucker was all sorts of awake now. Apparently certain contents of the aforementioned monologue coupled with that airy-Bella-sigh made Pancho fire up with guns blazin'.

_Son of a bitch._

Although she'd been cool about my earlier predicament, there wasn't anything worse than Bella waking up to find that I was once again up to bat. She was forgiving, but only to a fault I was sure. I felt certain that getting caught twice in the same day at full mast might freak her out a little. Okay, a lot.

Moving ever so gently from the couch, I escaped to the confines of her bathroom until I could get myself straight. I tried the age old trick of splashing myself with cool water. That proved to be a total waste of time; overrated and pointless. It didn't make matters any better. Taking a cold shower seemed a little rude since this wasn't my place; plus there was a chance that Bella would catch me, and how the hell would I explain things?

I decided that ridding myself of the bits of taco shell stuck in my teeth would give me not only something else to focus on, but an activity to occupy my hands. Flossing seemed like a pretty good way to busy myself; I knew there had to be some dental floss somewhere in Bella's bathroom.

My search proved fruitless after digging through her medicine cabinet and two of her drawers. But when I hit the top one…_holy shit._

"What the fuck is this?" I said to no one in particular as I stared at the contraption before me.

A gold colored egg tethered to some sort of control laid there amidst hair ties and a bunch of other frou-frou shit that was pretty inconsequential at that very moment. My brain told me to leave it the hell alone, but my hands were not on board with that course of action in the slightest. Unable to resist temptation, I picked it up and turned the fucker on.

_Buzzzzz _the egg came to life as it vibrated in my palm. I turned up the dial with my other hand, and the thing started shaking even faster. I was so startled at the speed of the egg, I almost dropped it. Thank fuck I had fast reflexes…

There was no question this was some sort of sex toy, and it didn't take an astrophysicist to decipher what part of the body it was used to stimulate. Even though my tongue was extremely fucking jealous of this battery operated poser, my dick got even harder with the thoughts of Bella using it to get herself off.

Okay, that train of thought was not helping reverse the situation in my pants at all. My imagination was on one hell of a free for all as those images of Bella working the egg over her clit somehow came to involve me actually watching her bring herself to orgasm.

_Fuck. That wasn't helping either._

Only one logical thing left to do at that point to remedy my problem: I needed to unload the gun.

Not wanting to use the girly lotion on the counter for lube, I looked under the sink for something else that would work. I mean come on, my dick smelling like that Sweet Pea lotion Bella used from that Bath and Body place would be a dead giveaway to the debauchery I was up to in here. Lucky for me, like a beacon slipperiness, there was a bottle of baby oil. Thanks be to all things Johnson and Johnson.

Wasting no time, I grabbed the oil and dropped trou. This was going to have to be one of my faster sessions. The last thing I needed was for Bella to wake up and come looking for me.

I had tissue on standby, Pancho lubed up and Lefty was already going to work. I closed my eyes and let the very fantasies I'd tried previously to stop run wild.

_Bella naked, laid out spread open in the middle of her bed. Stroke up. Bella holding the egg against her wet slit. Stroke down. Bella turning that thing up full throttle, her writhing and shaking as she comes. Stroke up. Stroke down. Bella grabbing me, shoving my face between her legs. She's already sensitive, so it doesn't take too many laps of my tongue and thrusts of my fingers before she's screaming, "Edward! Fuck yes!" _

I'd started pumping my cock so damned fast I didn't even get to the part of my fantasy where I slip it inside of her; before I knew it, I felt the familiar tightening within and just let go. Finally, I allowed the release that I'd been trying to keep at bay for so long fly, albeit with as muted a volume as possible.

_Damn. I really needed that._

Getting rid of any and all evidence, I washed up and got myself rearranged. I was especially careful to put the egg back where I'd found it. Shit, that would be pretty fucking embarrassing for Bella to realize it'd been moved and deduce that I was the last one in her bathroom.

As quietly as possible, I went back into the living room, pausing for a few moments to make sure my girl was still asleep. I exhaled a pretty big sigh of relief when I saw that she was still sawing logs. God, she was so ridiculously cute the way she tried to wake herself up as I was getting ready to go home.

Just like always, I really hated to leave her. This was the part that always bummed me out; the time of night when I had to say goodbye. My mind wandered back to the night she told me not to; the night she asked me to stay. But like the faithful friend that I was, I politely kissed her cheek and told her goodnight.

Walking to my car, I took a small measure of comfort knowing that I was getting closer to righting this ship. What I needed now were reinforcements. With Bella's two closest confidantes in my corner, it was time to bring in those who didn't need persuasion to lend me a hand. It was time to bring in the heavy artillery.

The first chance I got, I'd talk to Riley about going public with what he'd been helping me with the last several weeks. It was going to be a big surprise, but I felt like I was finally ready to pull it off. He'd been _instrumental_ in one particular part of my plan to win Bella back.

Pulling out of the parking lot, I called the one person that had been dying to get involved in my campaign. As I waited for her to answer, I let the memory of having Bella pressed so tightly against my body wash over me. I needed a valid excuse for me to be that close to her again without suspicion and I was about to hit up the very lady who could make that happen.

"Hey baby brother, what's up?"

"Hey, Ali. Not too much. Listen, I need to know more about that Salsa class you've got happening at your studio. It's just for beginners, yeah?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well, you wanted to help out with Bella, right?"

"Oh my gosh, of course Edward! What can I do? Tell me, tell me tell me!"

"Figure out a way to get her to take the class with me. That's your assignment, should you choose to accept it."

"Gladly, dear brother, _gladly_."

* * *

**A/N:**

Ruh-roh...wonder what tricks Spingod has up his sleeve? My guess is he's about to stop playing fair...

Here are some things you might want to check out relevant to this chapter:

Clip from "The Sandlot" - http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=bc7t_ET6SNQ

Crash's speech from "Bull Durham" - http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=sBfdl6hNZ9k

Bella's Golden God of Eggstacy (I have one and it fucking rules. Just sayin'.) - http:/www(dot)intimatewholesalers(dot)

As always, huge gropes and big squeezes to my pre-readers **RoseArcadia**, **HookaShewz**, **Lola-pop** and **LisaMichelle17**. I am forever in your debt. Massive and humble thanks to my Super Beta Dude, **Stratan**. He fixes my crap faster than a speeding bullet. In fact, I'm pretty sure he can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I appreciate the heck out of each and every one of you who read my ramblings. I am sincerely grateful for the reviews – I read them all and they make me so happy. Once upon a time I was better at answering them, but I'm hoping you'd rather have me working on the next chapter rather than replies.

Come say hi to me on the Twitter: http:/twitter(dot)com/stephk0525. Be warned, it's highly addictive.


	12. Chapter 12 Come On and Take a Free Ride

**Disclaimer: "M" for words that would make mom stick a bar of soap in your mouth and the occasional happening of the citrus variety. My ID still says I'm Steph, but not the one with the bank; so you won't find me on the BD set. Damn. I know it's been a little while. Thank you for being so patient with me. I offer a plethora o'gropes in appreciation. See ya below.**

CH 12

BPOV

I knew it was just a matter of time before one of them extended the invitation, and as much as I debated the pros and cons, it boiled down to the fact that I sincerely missed them. In a way, they had both filled some small void in my life.

Esme had fulfilled the constant motherly presence I'd been missing since I'd moved in with Charlie so many years ago. Alice became the sister that I'd never had, but always wanted. Sure, I had Weber and Hale, but that was a little different.

Well, more than that if you took into account that Rose was always throwing sexual innuendos my way, especially since I hadn't had any as of late. Well, not without the aid of batteries anyway.

So when the invite for a lunch date came, I wasn't sure which one would be first: mother or daughter.

Turning around in my chair to face Alice, I smiled because I was genuinely glad to see her. We'd talked a few times since my appearances at the Cullen Sunday brunches had stopped, but she knew I needed my space, and for that, I was grateful. I didn't know if the directive came from my boss or his youngest son, and it really didn't matter. All I knew was that seeing Alice after a few months made me realize just how much I'd missed her.

"Hey Alice," I whispered as I covered the phone with my hand, "let me just finish up with these Medicaid yahoos, and I'll be ready."

"Okay Bella, take your time. I'm in no rush." She said as Dr. Cullen walked over to her and placed a kiss on her cheek. "On the other hand," she giggled, "I heard your boss is a real tyrant. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble."

"Oh I know – he might fire me if I'm like two minutes late. I have to ask permission just to go pee."

"Are you kidding me? Honestly, I'm surprised he doesn't have you wear Depends." Alice playfully elbowed her dad in the ribs.

"That's a terrific idea Alice," Dr. Cullen interjected, "Bella, put those on the supply order this week."

"Why not just make her wear a catheter doc?" Mrs. Cope quipped as she walked by my desk from one of the patient rooms. "I do."

Our laughter died down just as the idiot I'd been dealing with for the last twenty minutes came back on the line. That was the one part of my job that I loathed: dealing with the paperwork and all the bullshit that went with trying to get what was necessary for our patients. It never ceased to amaze me the sheer idiocy that was somehow gainfully employed in the medical field.

After I'd sorted things out with Bambi the Wondertwit from Medicaid, I grabbed my purse and headed out the door with Alice for a bite to eat. Curiosity was getting the best of me as to why she wanted to see me so suddenly, but then I thought that maybe she just missed me too. I really hoped that was the case.

The ride to wherever it was we were going was filled with comfortable small talk. Alice filled me in on how busy she was getting as football season was a little over three months away. She would be holding tryouts for the Seahawks cheerleaders soon; the applications and headshots had already started to accumulate.

I told her that while the winter months had passed, allergy season was in full swing and kicking our tails. We were still very busy at the office.

"You know, we've all really missed you at the house on Sundays, Bella."

"Alice, please don't. Edward and I have really found our groove with the friendship thing, and…"

"Hey, I'm not talking about my goofy baby brother; I'm talking about me and Mom. We've been outnumbered for so long. It was nice to have the added estrogen."

"Oh, I thought maybe you were going to give me some sort of pitch on Edward's behalf." I laughed, a whole lot relieved that this lunch date was on the up and up.

"Please, he can fight his own battles. My wanting your resumed attendance on Sundays is purely selfish. I've really missed you Bella."

"I know, Alice. I've really missed you too."

"The thing is, growing up, I'd always wished that I had a sister. And when we all got older, well, I sort of felt like the girls that dated my brothers wanted to be close to me to win points with them. I was never quite sure if they liked me for me." She paused for a second, and quite honestly I couldn't fathom how someone would have play up liking Alice. Her genuineness made it so easy. "Then, over the last several years," she continued, "neither one of the boys have been with anyone long enough to bring them around. Until you."

Her last statement hung in the air like fine mist, not unpleasant or hindering, just simply there. As I let her words roll around in my head, the impact of what they possibly meant transformed that mist into something a lot heavier. Like scary heavier. Alice glanced over to me and smiled, and when it was clear that I wasn't going to say anything, she continued.

"You're different, and for the first time since Bree, Edward's high school girlfriend, it felt a little like having a sister."

I reached over and took her hand giving it a squeeze. A physical gesture to hopefully convey what my mouth couldn't find the right words to speak; that I understood. I silently swore that she and I wouldn't lose the kinship we had found; that even thought she would most likely never be my sister by matrimonial means, Alice could be within my heart.

I hadn't really been paying attention to where we were going, until the car stopped outside the very place where Edward and I had gone to lunch the day after the Great Sweatbox Get Down. Of course, I got a wee bit flushed just thinking about it.

God, in some ways it seemed like such a long time ago. In others, not so much. I remembered how the doubts and reservations plagued me; how with his soothing voice and reassuring words, he did everything imaginable to put me at ease. It had been an interesting lunch date to say the least. Further reflection on that afternoon caused me to giggle when I thought about our knockout strawberry blonde waitress and how sure I was she would hit on Edward. I, however, got the shock of my damn life when she shamelessly hit on me.

"What's so funny?" Alice queried, a suspicious smile creeping across her face.

"Oh, this is where Edward brought me on our first lunch date. The waitress sort of flirted with me. Well, not sort of, quite blatantly actually. Of course, your brother thought it was hilarious, even bet me that she'd try and slip me her number."

"Did she?"

"Oh no, but she eyed me a lot."

We walked inside the café and the hostess took us to our table. As we sat down and looked at the menus, I wondered for a split second if the same waitress was working today. Alice and I debated on what to order when a sultry and sweet female voice greeted us.

"Hello ladies, my name is Tanya. I'll be your waitress this afternoon." My head snapped up from my menu. _Oh yeah, that's her alright. _With any luck, she wouldn't remember me. Maybe it was just her thing to hit on random girls and hopefully get lucky. I mumbled some sort of pleasantry, and tried to not draw any unwanted attention to myself.

Crouching down, almost as if she were ready to pounce, she rested her elbows on our table and looked me square in the eyes. "So, I'll be taking care of you today," her fixation on me duly noted, "would you like to hear about my specials?"

"No thank you," Alice chimed in, despite the fact she hadn't been acknowledged, "I think we know what we want."

"So, what can I get for you today?" Our waitress purred, still looking at me and totally ignoring Alice in the process.

"I'll just have the chicken salad sandwich on whole wheat please. And a house salad."

"And to drink?" She cooed and licked her bright plum-colored lips.

"Tea please."

Alice ordered, all the while trying not to laugh at this Tanya chick continued to eye fuck me into oblivion with not one ounce of shame. I silently wished Rose were here, as these two would be a match made in Sapphic heaven.

"Okay then, I'll be right back with your drinks." Taking a pause, she asked me, "You look really familiar, and I never forget a beautiful face."

"Well, um thank you, I think." The last part I muttered so she couldn't hear. "I've been here before for lunch, that could be it."

"Hmmm, maybe." Standing, our glamazon server fucking winked at me as she seductively crooned, "I'll be back in a flash."

Alice and I both said thanks, although she finally let out the snort that had been threatening to blow. I was glad someone found that little exchange amusing because I was bejiggity over the whole thing.

"Oh my God!" Alice laughed and shook her head. "Forget what we're having – dude, she wants two helpings of you with a side of you, plus a huge scoop of Bella for dessert."

"I know right! Fuck me."

"Well, you really aren't my type, but clearly she's up for the job."

"Haha, very funny. Seriously, the only reason she backed off last time was because Edward was here with me." There was no doubt in my mind that had I been by myself that day, she would have brought nothing less than her "A" game.

I wasn't alone then either. And then it occurred to me: I could use Alice.

I mean, Rose and I had that ruse down to a science – pretending to be a couple to ward off any unwanted advances. Why not Alice? Ms. Strawberry Fields didn't have to know that she was my past-potential-sister-in-law and married. I felt sure she would do this for me; Alice was too cool not to.

"I got it!" I started, really excited that I had a game plan. "You can be my cover."

"Come again?' Alice questioned, obviously not getting what I was asking of her.

"You're my beard, you know like my life partner? She'll think we're together and back off. It's perfect; always works like a charm for Rose and me."

Alice just sort of sat there, as she cocked her head to the side, her eyes infinitesimally narrowed in an expression tinged with mischief. What I couldn't figure out was why. What the hell was running through that head of hers? Before she could answer, my not-so-secret admirer came back to the table with our drinks and a basket of bread. My eyes pleaded with Alice, but I'll be screwed and tattooed if she didn't flash that same cat-eat-shit grin that her brother so often gave me to get his way.

Of course, the waitress was standing there before Alice would answer me.

"I'll have your order out shortly ladies. Are you sure there isn't anything else I can do for you?" Again, her question directed only to me.

"No thanks," I smiled tightly, "I think we're fine."

"Well, I have no doubt of that, sugar, but I just wanted to make sure you didn't need me for _anything_." All I could so was shake my head in response, completely dumbfounded by her insanely overt innuendos. My mouth dropped open as she turned on her heel, her hips swaying as she walked away.

"Alice, come on," I pleaded, "you have to help me out here. This chick is about two more trips shy of clearing this table and spreading me out like a buffet."

Smiling, Alice rested her chin in her palm and said, "Okay Bella, I'll do it. I'll play along." I inhaled a huge breath of relief. "But only on one condition; you have to do something for me in return."

Well, how hard could that be? It's not like she needed a kidney or wanted my first born. Whatever it was she needed from me would be worth it to get me out of this craziness. Anything that halted my pseudo-obsessor's hot pursuit would a small price to pay.

"Sure Alice, of course. Whatever you want, consider it done."

"Awesome," she said, the enthusiasm teeming in her voice, "then I'll see you next Friday in the Salsa for Beginners class at my studio. I have a few spots I need filled, and Edward needs a partner."

It was my turn to ask, "Come again?"

"Oh, you heard me, sister. You want me to be your arm candy; you have to take my class. And you know it will be a blast. You might even learn a thing or two."

_Was she fucking serious?_

"Alice, let me explain something to you. I have no doubt that you are an incredible dance teacher. What you don't understand is that I'm probably one of the most rhythmically challenged people in the history of the eight-count. My mom put me in a ballet class when I was a kid; it was sad actually."

"Oh Bella, don't you think you're emoting just a little here?"

"Not at all. I'm being serious as all get out. Forget two left feet, I have no feet. Period. And your brother won't either if he's stuck with me as a partner."

"Oh, whatever. So, I'll be your girl if you'll be my brother's dance partner. That's the deal pickle – take it or leave it."

_Pickle indeed._

Alice had never displayed behavior that suggested there was a manipulative bone in her body. I glanced over her shoulder and saw the waitress making her way back over with our food. The look of panic on my face must have been pretty severe because Alice started to softly chant _ticktockticktockticktock_.

"Oh, fine, fine. You win for fuck's sake." I groaned, agreeing to something I was sure was tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment. "Just follow my lead, okay?"

About seven seconds before she could get to our table, I reached over and took Alice's hand in mine. As our server sat the tray on the stand, I noticed her eyeing the way we were suddenly touching.

"So baby," I purred to my accomplice, "I was thinking you and I could go on a little getaway this weekend. We've been so busy lately, and I think we both need some R and R. What do you say?"

"I think it sounds perfect, muffin." Alice was really laying it on thick and I almost went across the table to kiss her for real. "Oh I know! Let's drive up to Vancouver to that little bed and breakfast we love so much."

Before I could even answer, my food was being placed in front of me, the plate clanging against the table with just a tad more force than necessary. Alice's plate was damn near dropped in her lap. I think we both gasped, our jaws a little slack with looks of total incredulity at this girl.

"Ooops," she sneered to 'my beloved', "forgive me, please. I'm a total butterfingers today."

"Not a problem, _Tanya_ is it?" Alice smiled sweetly. "I understand completely."

Turning to me, my would-be-suitor said, "Is there anything else I can get for you right now?"

"I don't think so, thank you though."

"Well, if you change your mind… I can take care of _whatever_ you need. Just say the word." With that rather loaded declaration, she about-faced and walked off shaking her head.

"Wow, I think I just became Public Enemy number one I think," my very stunned 'significant other' observed. "Good thing she brought our food first, though. She might have spit in it if we'd put on that show beforehand."

We went on about our business, laughing and talking as we ate, just enjoying one another's company. Every now and again, I'd catch that Tanya girl glaring at us, so I'd reach over and pat Alice's hand, or offer her a bite of my food to keep up appearances. When she brought our check over, we playfully quarreled whose treat lunch would be. Alice, being the clever game player she was, threw out the thundering checkmate when she said, "Lunch is my treat, honey. You treat me with dessert later."

There was no doubting the dagger-laced stare that was being launched at us as we left the restaurant. Of course, it didn't help matters that we walked out the door hand-in-hand.

O~O~O~O~O~O

Edward's reaction to his sister's skullduggery was a bit on the surprising side. After the lunch date with Alice, I'd almost convinced myself that brother and sister were somehow in cahoots, but when he offered to fix it so that I didn't have to go to the class, I decided otherwise.

Being the consummate gentleman that he was, Edward promised his behavior would be above reproach. He suggested that I invite Angela and Rose along if it would make things easier. We even came up with the bright idea of setting Angela up with his colleague, Ben. For added shock value, we'd introduce Emmett and Rose to see what sort of chaos would ensue.

Then, Edward mentioned that later that same night of the dance class, his TA, Riley and his band were playing a gig over at the Nectar Lounge. He said if I survived the salsa lesson, we could all go and watch him play and just chill out. Truth be told, it did sound like a lot of fun, provided I didn't break anything while getting schooled in the ways of the Tango, or whatever dance Alice was going to teach.

As it turned out, Angela was free to go (and pretty excited about meeting a guy with gainful employment), but Rose didn't get off work in time to make the class. She agreed to meet us at the bar later to see Riley's band play. I told her she'd finally get to meet the last of the three Cullen boys, to which her reply was, "Like I give a shit."

One thing Rose did suggest was that I try to work in a couple of yoga classes to loosen up beforehand. It was an excellent idea, and I convinced her to go to the gym and take one with me as a guest. Rose said she'd never pass up a chance to see flexible hotties.

So, a few days before the Salsa Shakedown, I found myself on the Stairmaster warming up and waiting for her to meet me. I'd no sooner sent her a text telling her where she needed to sign in and where I was when I got the living shit scared out of me. Out of nowhere, I heard an eerie and very out of tune voice sing, "Ooooh Ooooh witchy woman, see how high she fliiiies."

Naturally, I was startled, tripped on the moving step and almost busted my ass. "Oh, good God Emmett, you scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry Bella, I didn't mean to, but damn girl, why so jumpy?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe I'm not used to random guys serenading me while I'm working out."

"Well, first, there is nothing random about me; and secondly, you can't tell me that my baby bruh hasn't busted out his pipes over the headset in class." Emmett playfully nudged me on the shoulder.

While it was true that he had in fact sung to me before, it was most definitely not in class, and absolutely not in the presence of another living soul. Edward had a really nice voice, and yeah it sent shivers down my spine, but singing to me in front of other people would have just been beyond embarrassing. As swoon-worthy as such a gesture might be, it would have drawn attention to me, which in my world was on the same level as Chinese water torture. I quickly flipped the conversation back on the elder Cullen brother.

"Whatever, dude. What's with the 'witchy woman' business anyway? In a classic rock kind of mood?"

"Nope, that was a direct shout out to you Ms. Swan."

I winced a little at the way he addressed me, remembering that Edward used to call me that sometimes. Only when the younger sibling said it, it did funny things to my body and made my heart stutter. And then I had to wonder what his point was.

"Now what about that song makes you think of me pray tell?"

"Because I figure you to be Wiccan, or at the very least some sort of hoodoo woman."

"Pardon me, you think I'm what?"

"Oh, you know, someone who's into the occult, chants under a full moon, skins live chickens and dances with snakes."

"Emmett, seriously, that's disgusting. Is that really what you think of me?"

"Come on, the dancing with snakes things is kinda hot. I'd be all over that shit."

"I… like I don't even know how to respond to that."

"It's okay; I'm used to women being speechless in my presence." He grinned and winked, those trademark dimples an ever-present indicator of his bravado. "Seriously though, it's the only explanation to account for the change in my brother. It's like he's this whole new Edward, and I think it has to do with whatever spell you've got workin' on him."

"Emmett, if I actually had a wand in my back pocket, I promise you that the current state of affairs between Edward and I would not be such as they are right now. Trust me." That was the God's honest truth; if I could fix everything with a flick of my wrist, or a cool nose twitch, things would be radically different.

"Look, Bella, I know my brother or at least the former version of him anyway. This whole vigilance thing he's doing with you? Not his usual behavior."

"I have no idea what you're talking about Emmett." I shrugged, feigning clueless indifference. My gut told me that I was about to hear something that would without a doubt excite and frighten the hell out of me.

"Well, let me break it down for you, okay? Edward doesn't work for the ladies. _Ever_. And he sure as shit doesn't go 'without' if you know what I mean. When it comes to women, he's very clear with them about what he wants: to have fun with no strings and see where things go. Once upon a time, these things _were_ all true; that is before you happened to him."

"Don't you think you're exaggerating?"

"Not even a little. I've never seen him like this. Edward has never once turned me down when I've asked him to go out - that is until the last couple of months. His answer now always begins with 'no' and is pretty much guaranteed to be followed by a 'Bella and I are going to' whatever it is you guys actually do."

"Not that it's any of your business, but we just hang out. Edward is free to do whatever he wants to and to see whomever he wants and-" I stated rather emphatically. It wasn't like I was forcing Edward to spend time with me.

"That's the whole point Bella. All he wants to do is be with you, no matter what. Don't you get that? I'm not saying that's a bad thing either, totally the opposite actually. I just want you to understand the importance of his change and choice, that's all. He's still all in as far as you're concerned, you should know that."

I didn't want to recognize the truth in what Emmett was saying; I really didn't. But I'd have to be pretty damn oblivious not to. And as much as I tried to place full merit in Emmett's words, there was still that part of me that was waiting for the other shoe to drop…

"Look, I gotta run to a GM meeting at corporate. Think about what I said, okay?"

"Yeah, I will."

"By the way, I hear you got roped into Ali's dance class."

"Unfortunately, yes. Are you going?"

"I can't. I'm here until about eight, but I'm meeting up with you guys to hear Riley's band play. I'm told your friend, umm … what's her name, Rosie…? Is coming."

"After she's done at work, yes. Here's some friendly advice though: if you value your genitalia, _never_ call her Rosie, she hates that."

"Good to know. She's the one who likes the ladies isn't she?"

"For the most part, yes, but she's dated guys before. Why?"

"Let's just say that I'm looking forward to flippin' her script." With a wiggle of his brow, Emmett hopped down off the Stairmaster to leave. "Catch you later Bella. Be sure and tell _Rose_ I said hello and to be prepared to come into the light."

"Uh huh, good luck with that, Emmett." I giggled as he waved and walked off. "You're sure as hell gonna need it." I muttered to myself. I hit the pause button on the machine and turned around. I knew one thing was for sure: getting him and Rose in the same room was going to be nothing if not entertaining.

While my mind began to imagine all the crazy possibilities of such an introduction, I saw Rose walk into the gym and go sign in at the front desk. Before I could jump down off the Stairmaster to go meet her, I realized that she and Emmett were on a collision course for one another, literally. Emmett had his head down, typing away and engrossed in his phone; Rose stuffing her keys and sunglasses into her purse.

I was too far away to do anything but watch the inevitable. They bumped shoulders, apparently not hard enough to hurt, but with adequate force to jar them slightly backwards. Both a little stunned, they exchanged some sort of dialogue before doing that awkward side-step thing, but in the process moved in the same direction. Three lateral moves later, Emmett placed his hands on Rose's shoulders to still her. With a quick pat on her back, he moved around her, resuming his path to the exit. Rose, who from what I could tell seemed a little dumbstruck, turned and followed his confident strut. Just before he pushed the glass doors open, he turned back to my stunned friend and winked.

I laughed, knowing I was about to enlighten her on exactly who she'd just run up against.

"Hey, I was wondering when your ass was gonna get here. For a minute I thought you might ditch me."

"What? Ah, no sorry, I hit some traffic on the way over. So, yeah where do we uh…" She trailed off, looking back toward the door.

"Something the matter, honey? Bad day at work?" I added a tone of concern to my voice, although I had a pretty good idea what had her slightly shaken. "You seem a little bothered."

"No, I brought water, it's in my purse." Rose babbled, as she continued glancing around completely distracted.

"I didn't ask you about water Hale. Hello? What's got you so rattled?"

"Wait…what? I have no idea what you just said."

"Well, clearly not. What's up with you?"

"Seriously, it's nothing. Okay, well that may not be entirely true. I sorta got mauled just now."

"Oh yeah, I saw that. You okay?"

"Who, me? Sure, I'm _totally_ fine. I plow into a fucking brick wall that can't even be bothered to look where the hell he's going and has the audacity to call me 'babe' – I mean come on! 'Babe'? Who the fuck does he think he's talking to anyway? As if those dimples and that cheeky ass smile and the son-of-a-bitching wink is some get out of jail free card -"

"Whoa, whoa, easy there, can you take a breath for me please? Embrace the oxygen. Come on, in and out, in and out."

"Shut it will you? I'm breathing. I'm breathing." I could have sworn I heard her mumble something about not lasting ten seconds with her, which of course made me laugh. Honestly I couldn't remember the last time anyone, especially from the male persuasion, had gotten her so out of sorts. "And you think this is funny why?" She snapped, more than a little irked that I was having a laugh at her expense.

"Because that 'brick wall' as you call him has a name. You, my dearest, ran smack dab into Edward's brother, Emmett."

"No fucking way."

"Way. And just think, you get to meet him formally Friday night."

"BFD, I still don't give a shit. Mostly. Whatever." Glancing down at her watch, Rose deflected and changed the subject. "Isn't class supposed to start soon, like now?"

"Yeah, it's about that time."

"Well, then let's go get bent Swan."

"Funny, I was thinking you already were Hale."

O~O~O~O~O~O

There was absolutely no getting out of it. I was in the car and there was no turning back. A phone call from my "would-be-girlfriend" earlier that morning to make sure that I hadn't called into work sick told me as much. A text from my very soon-to-be-dance-partner to see if I was still on board all but cemented my attendance. At least my boss had the courtesy of not threatening to fire my yellow hide if I tried to bail.

"Tell me why I'm doing this again, Weber."

"Because Edward's sister, who seems pretty awesome, by the way, kept you from being devoured by that waitress, and you owe her."

"Right." I agreed with as much forced affirmation as I could muster. "God, the situations I get myself into..."

"Did you bring your insurance card with you Swan? You know, just in case."

"Was that a rhetorical question? We are talking about me here." Angela snorted in agreement, even though we both knew there was a very real possibility that I might need the dammed thing. "Did you bring the magic flask?"

"Seriously, was _that _a rhetorical question? Have you met me lately?" We giggled at that, recalling our age old practice of carrying a flask full of something with proof so we could drink inexpensively. Straight Cokes were considerably more bank account friendly, especially when you were a college student on a budget and could add some cheap booze yourself. By sneaking into the ladies room of course.

"Besides, I need provisions since I'm meeting this Ben character. You know I get nervous about set-ups. What if he doesn't like me?"

"Child, please. Would you stop it already? Come on, what's not to like?"

"I knew I kept you around for a reason. You're good for my ego."

"Well, I have ulterior motives my friend."

"And those would be?" She challenged, knowing that I was totally messing with her. Weber knew all too well just how dearly I loved her.

"For starters," I began, "you brought the magic flask, which if not for you, I would be up shit creek. I'm so taking a shot before we walk inside that Deathtrap of Dance."

"I'm not sure that's the best idea. Mixing you with the Grey Goose that currently fills said flask of magic might be a little risky. Add in my not-overly-high-heels that you're wearing to the equation, and that's a disaster waiting to happen."

"Oh whatever, I'll be fine, but your concern is duly noted." Angela was the one who always made sure I didn't drink too much. I was a light weight when it came to alcohol and it didn't take a lot to give me a respectable buzz. "Speaking of your aforementioned foot attire, that's my other reason for keeping in your good graces."

"Let me understand this. Basically, you're only nice to me for my shoes?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I mean, I rarely have the occasion to dress up, and since my closet is filled with scrubs, tennis shoes and flip-flops, I gotta have some sort hookup for nice shoes. Lucky for me, you're a whore when it comes to podiatric fashion."

"That I am Swan - that I am."

In no time flat, we were pulling into the parking lot of Alice's dance studio, and almost as if on cue, my stomach began to turn. I couldn't help the sense of impending doom that came over me, that nagging feeling that this whole debacle wasn't going to end up in any way other than badly. God, what I wouldn't have given for a do over right about then…

"MAC's Powerhouse of Dance, huh? I thought you said Edward's sister was named Alice."

"It is – MAC stands for Mary Alice Cullen. Well, Whitlock now, but she didn't think that 'MAW's' sounded quite as catchy. I tend to agree; plus her studio was already established when she met Jasper."

"Oh, very cool. And didn't you say they met at a halftime show of a Seahawk's game?"

"Yeah, it was some sort of Armed Forces tribute, and he was one of the Army representatives. Somehow they bumped into each other, and the rest is history. Pretty much love at first sight."

"Wow. So lucky, gotta love kismet. Maybe someday…" Angela sighed and trailed off.

"Mmm hmm." I nodded in agreement. What either of us would give for a fairy tale love story like that. Once upon a time, I thought that was happening to me…

"Well," she blurted out, pulling us from our shared sentiments, "let's knock one back and kick this shit." I couldn't help but laugh as she took a shot from the flask and passed it to me.

"Word." I complied, doing the same, except because I didn't have as healthy of a relationship with vodka as I did rum, I coughed slightly as the stinging burn slid down my throat. "Hot damn, this'll put hair on your chest."

"Cheers to that. Alright then, Swan, let's plow."

The walk from the car inside to the small studio where the class was held was no doubt one of the longest I'd ever taken. I could almost hear 'Taps' playing faintly behind me. Thankfully, I started to feel the liquid courage making its way through my system, slowly but surely.

But lo and behold, the second I peered through the window cut-out in the door, that relaxing feeling went by the wayside. There standing next to his sister over by the sound system was Edward, looking as fucking sinful as ever. They were huddled together looking through CD's, and by the way they were going back and forth (rather animatedly as it were), I was beginning to reconsider my prior stance on their suspected state of cohortivity.

Deadpanning, I told Angela that the flask was needed immediately for a second hit. She rather emphatically threw down a "hell no" and went all juice-box-monitor on me. I couldn't decide whether she was being a hoarder because she wanted more of the goods for herself, or if she was actually concerned about the state of my equilibrium.

She handed me some little bottle from her purse with a dropper cap and told me to take that instead. "What the hell is Valerian root and what the fuck is it gonna do for me?"

"It's like herbal Valium with similar calming effects. Now take however many drops it says and chill out Spazzella. I need you to concentrate and tell me which one Ben is - you know my potential future significant other."

"I don't know. I've never met him." Twisting the top off, the pungent smell ambushed my nostrils, which in turn caused me to gag wretchedly. "Ughhh, this stuff smells like shit! You expect me to ingest this for real?"

"Yes I do, because you need to enhance your calm so you can get in there and make proper introductions. So snap to it, Swan, and take the happy drops."

A whole lot perturbed at that point, I didn't waste time reading the label; I just took a drink and choked back the bitter as hell monstrosity. After the sensation to spit that mess out had passed and I found a peppermint to cleanse my palette, I noted that a slight calm began to wash over me. Whether it was a result of the liquid garbage I'd just forced down or just a mental thing, I couldn't be sure. Either way, it didn't really matter. It was time to grab the Cha-Cha by the downbeat and get to steppin'.

We pushed open the doors and walked inside the room as the distilled bravado continued working its magic on our respective nervous systems. Ready to kick ass and take names, we were both determined to accomplish our desired objectives. Weber focused on gaining a potential love interest that she didn't have to support; and as for me, making it through the next hour without doing any harm to myself or my delicious-looking dance partner was the task at hand.

Latin drumbeats could be barely heard in the background over the muted conversations of the others that had already arrived; our heels clicked in unison, dominating the other sounds in the room, and both brother and sister looked up, their discussion halted from the noise of our entrance. Edward leaned over, and said something to Alice that my poor lip-reading skills couldn't decipher. She gave a subtle head nod and turned her attentions back to her CD case. Her mischief-tinged smile was not lost on me.

Breaking into a light jog, the Lord of the Dance made his way across the hardwood to meet us. "Hello ladies, how are doing you this evening?" He said with a gentlemanly bow and a chivalrous lilt to his voice.

"Splendidly, and thank you so much for asking." Angela replied with a tiny curtsy. "How about yourself?"

"Life couldn't be any better, I must say, since I'm about to get my groove on with a spicy-hot senorita. Pretty awesome, wouldn't you agree?" He said with a wink. There was an all-too-familiar glint in his eyes, the one that normally made my skin splotchy, except just then, given my chemically altered endorphin rush, I was mostly tingly with anticipation. Juiceless Bella would've averted her eyes and stared at her shoes from such a look. Not this me; I was holding my own.

How could I not gawk at him? Everything about him _screamed _"look at me, look at me", and who was I not to listen?

In my periphery, I could see Weber looking back and forth as Edward and I continued our oglefest, neither one of us flinching. "Well, yeah, it is, but wanna know what would be even more awesome? You telling me where this Ben guy is that I'm about to meet." Her expression changed from cool to worrisome in two seconds flat. "Wait, don't tell me… he bailed – he's a no-show, right?"

"Angela, look… it's all good. I told him-" Edward started to explain, but was abruptly cut off by my suddenly very neurotic friend.

"No, it's okay. I get it. Not cool flying blind. You gave him a few deets, and he's just not that into… well the description of me. Can't say as I blame him, really. There is nothing remotely sexy about a chick that can tear down your PC and reassemble it, patch a server, or whose favorite hobby is deciphering binary code."

"I beg your pardon, but that sounds like the very definition of sexy to me, and even though I have no idea what binary code is, I'm willing to learn." A strange male voice chuckled.

I wasn't sure when the man walked up, but there standing just behind Angela was whom I could only assume was Ben Cheney, Edward's colleague. He was a really handsome guy, very clean-cut with boyish features. Right up my best friend's alley.

From the moment Angela turned around, it looked like her someday had finally come. The pull between these two was unmistakable; once trivial introductions were made, it was as if these two had known each other their whole lives. Edward and I simply faded into the background, both of us watching as they stepped away and into their own little bubble. I smiled at the way this Ben was making her smile. I hadn't seen her like that in a very long time.

"Well, I think we done good Smalls, what about you?" Edward said as he playfully nudged my shoulder.

"Yeah, I think so." I grinned at the happiness and excitement I felt for my bestie. Well, that and the fact that Edward's very capable hands were about to be all over me. Or as much as the Cha-Cha would allow anyway.

"You're being awfully quiet, you know - everything alright?"

"Of course it is; why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know, you seem, oddly… calm. Given the fact that you'd rather be anywhere but here, I just thought you'd be more on edge."

"Come here and I'll tell you a little secret." I motioned for him to lean down. "I might've had a little help with that," I whisper-giggled, to which he stood upright and shook his head.

"You mean like you've been hitting the sauce?" He asked wide-eyed, but smiling just the same.

"Oh, I'm saucy alright. I took a shot of Grey Goose in the parking lot, and then Weber hooked me up with some herbal Valium stuff that tasted like ass. _Allegedly_ of course."

"Allegedly my sweet ass, Swan. I can see it in your eyes the way you're trying to hide your buzz. But, come on, don't you know better than to mix Vodka and Valerian root?"

"I'm sorry; you lost me at your sweet ass. No idea what you're rambling about Cullen." I shrugged and tried to feign indifference.

The look on his face was priceless, a little taken aback that I would match such an overt reference to his rear attributes. As a general rule, I steered away from such blatant call-outs to areas on his person that had become off-limits, but I'd thrown caution to the wind, thanks to the powers of fermented wheat and homeopathic herbs. Incredibly pleased with myself, I didn't even notice Carlisle and Esme standing next to me until Edward nodded and said hello.

It was the first time I'd seen Esme in quite awhile, and much like it had been with Alice, I didn't realize how much I really missed her until then. Suddenly, I was overcome with a case of the "touchy-feelies" and found myself with the crazy urge to hug her. Clearly being chemically and herbally enhanced made me all kinds of affectionate. And while my unexpected assault caught Esme off guard, the gesture was returned a thousand-fold with a solid squeeze from my almost-future-mother-in-law.

The four of us made small talk, and every now and then I'd glance over at Ben and Angela, who were still entirely wrapped up in one another. I was beginning to wonder when the torture was going to start when Jasper walked into the studio. After stopping by to say a brief hello, he made his way over to his lovely wife and my former life-partner. It looked as if things were officially about to get underway.

Our teacher walked to the front of the room, heels tapping, and suddenly everything was serious business. "Okay ladies and gentleman; let's get this show on the road. Welcome to Salsa for beginners. I'm Alice, and this handsome fellow next to me is my husband and dance partner, Jasper." She announced proudly as he gave a small, informal salute.

"So, tonight we will be learning the very basics of the Cha-Cha. As we go forward, breaking down the steps, I want everyone to keep the knees soft and the hips extremely loose. Remember, the Cha-Cha is not only energetic, but full of fire and passion."

I studied Edward's expression in the mirror as I stared at our reflections. It was somewhere between mischievous and hungry, which sent shock waves throughout my entire body. Catching my intense gaze, he raised his eyebrow and gave me a sly grin, the kind that made my undies go _poof_. It struck me that perhaps he was challenging me in some way, and because I was all sorts of loaded, I saw no reason to back down.

"Think you can handle that? You got the fire and passion tonight, Professor?" I turned my head and asked him all seductive-like.

"Trust me Swan, I am _all over_ it." He leered.

_Just like I knew you would be. Game the fuck on, dude._

"Well, be warned then; I won't be held accountable for my actions."

"The fundamental base of the Cha-Cha is called the triple step and starts on the second beat. This is the basic movement. Watch my feet." Alice instructed as she demonstrated. "Two-three-four-and-one; two-three-cha-cha-cha; two-three-right-left-right; two-three-cha-cha-cha. Notice that my weight is placed on the balls of my feet." She repeated several more times, Jasper following suit, as most everyone else began to slightly mimic them.

"In a minute when we get into the closed dance position, guys, you will lead with the left front basic, ladies you will follow with the right back basic." Both mine and my partner's attention were split between watching the example in front of us and eyeing each other in the mirror as we continued to mercilessly tease one another. Alice continued her instruction by explaining how the chest was to remain upright, frame locked, while keeping the hips fluid.

"May I remind you that this is _my _dance space," Edward quipped as he gestured to the space in front of him, "and this is _your_ dance space. Do not go all Johnny Castle on me."

"Nice 'Dirty Dancing' reference, dude. Very impressive. Am I supposed to start calling you Baby now?"

"Only if you promise to tell these jokers not to put me in a corner."

Unable to help myself, I snorted because Edward's retort was damn funny (as least to my buzzed brain it was), thus drawing the ire of our fearless leader. Alice shot us a warning look which very sternly told us to cut the shit.

I lightly jabbed Edward in the ribs and stepped up my effort to pay attention. After all, in a few short moments, we were actually going to have to start dancing this stuff for real. I remembered that it was imperative that I not inflict injury on the obscenely gorgeous, yet criminally off-limits man standing next to me.

Instructing us to watch them first, Alice and Jasper faced one another to show how it should look once the movements became parallel and in unison. Talk about fire and passion; these two had both and in ridiculous amounts. The way their bodies moved together was alluring and sensual. In fact, it felt almost voyeuristic to watch them so intently given the intimacy with which they danced.

At Alice's instruction, the rest of us turned to our respective partners to attempt the dance ourselves. Edward, who I had no doubt was more than capable, must have sensed my slight hesitation. Before we started, he leaned down and whispered oh-so-sweetly in my ear, "Don't worry; it's all in the leading. Just trust me."

I think at that point, he could have led me straight off a cliff; I would've followed. And quite willingly might I add. "I do. Let's Cha-Cha." I stated, with pretty decent enthusiasm if I said so myself.

Edward counted off, and we began to move. His eyes bore so intently into mine, it was beyond me that my heart didn't stop and my body moved at all. Any thought of what my feet were doing left my mind, which in all likelihood, was a good thing. Otherwise, I would have been tempted to look down and knowing me, would've caused some sort of foot stomping incident.

"I want everyone to keep at it while I come around to check on you individually, alright?" I heard Alice say, her voice yanking me from his stare. She made her way over to us, stopping to watch and evaluate our progress. "Bella, honey, you're doing really well, but I want you to loosen up, okay? Your feet have got the steps, but you need to let your hips go, put some attitude in there."

"I know, Alice, I know. I've never done anything remotely like this, especially not around other people. And then there are all the mirrors, and I hate watching myself because I know everyone can see my utter lack of coordination."

"I have a suggestion, Ali. Maybe we can go to the back of the room, and she'll feel less inhibited. Is that cool?"

"Yeah, I think that's a really good idea Edward. You know the basics anyway; just make sure it's where you guys can still see once we get into the turns."

"Wait, there are _turns_ involved in this too? Oh great, just great." I scowled. My personal accomplishment of remaining upright didn't seem so huge anymore - especially at the thought of having to incorporate some sort of spin maneuver while doing the steps. This idea had disaster and assplant written all over it.

"You're in good hands Bella; I have total faith in my brother." Alice smiled and went on to another pair.

Edward led me toward the back of the studio and found a spot where we were less noticeable, but could still see Alice and Jasper at the front of the room.

I turned toward him, putting my arms out and said, "I am yours; do with me what you will."

"Unfortunately, I can't do that." He said his voice suddenly very thick, almost gravelly. "What I _would _do, given free reign, would be downright inappropriate for this particular setting, just so we're clear." I definitely and very audibly gulped due to the fact that a lump the size of Rhode Island was lodged in my throat. "So, I think we'll just stick to the Cha-Cha, okay?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything past _inappropriate_." I admitted because that was the fucking truth.

He put his hands on my shoulders, and spun me around so that my back was to him. I felt him very lightly place his hands on my hips and remembered the last time we were in a similar position at the batting cages. And the fact that he popped a boner. And then I found myself looking for an excuse to throw him down and straddle him.

_Damn you, Professor Dancepants, for putting the word inappropriate in my head. Just. Damn. You._

"We both need to focus before Alice comes back here and yells at us." I nodded in agreement because he was totally right. "Okay Bella, I'll count off, and you take the right back basic, just like if I were facing you. I'll do the same so you don't step on me. Sound good?"

"Yeah, but what do I do with my hands?" I asked, turning my head so I could see him. God he was closer to me than I thought. I mean, my back wasn't pressed against him, but there was definitely very little space between us.

"Just put them on top of mine. I want you to relax, stay loose, and let me guide your hips. We need to lose the stiffness. Passion and fire, remember? I've got 'em; you need to show me yours."

It was a challenge of sorts; I nodded and Edward counted off with a "two-three-four-and-one." As my feet moved, I felt Edward apply delicate pressure to my hips, moving them in a rolling sort of motion. My body bent to his will with no trouble at all, a reaction that didn't surprise me in the least. From the moment we met, it seemed like my entire being responded to him on every communicable level; verbally, physically, spiritually – in all the ways that mattered.

Focusing on his soothing voice, I closed my eyes and let the room melt away. Edward's hands on me and the sound of his words were my only concern as I allowed myself to be transported to a place where it was just the two of us. No bullshit, no pretenses, no ulterior motives and nothing to prove. It was a heaven inside my mind, somewhere that just belonged to me. I could have him the way I really wanted and no one got hurt or left behind.

_What was the harm in such a place if it was just for my own enjoyment? There wasn't any, except the maddening fact that it would never be real. In fact, it was downright white-padded-room-insanity._

I was so lost in my 'Edward-place-of-warm-fuzzies', I almost didn't realize that my volitional hip movements had become more exaggerated. It was surprising to me how much fervor was behind them honestly. When I finally opened my eyes, the fact that it was actually me dancing like that was pretty startling.

My expression must have telegraphed my surprise, because Edward pulled me closer, murmuring in my ear, "Now that's what I'm talking about. You are definitely killing me Smalls, but what a way to go." His words bubbled over my skin, like a simmering pot over a steady flame. My skin reacted accordingly, the gooseflesh prickling down my body clear to my toes.

Even more surprising, once I got past the amazement that I hadn't taken a spill thus far, I watched myself in the mirror and could see that I didn't look completely ridiculous. I almost looked halfway decent, which not only was downright astounding, but somewhat invigorating.

Then my focus on the me dancing in the mirror shifted to the him moving behind me, and the look he wore that said he would swallow me whole if given half the chance. That salacious expression added fuel to the blaze and I met his reflected stare degree for degree, hunger pang for hunger pang. I swear that song Renee used to sing all the damn time had it right on the money: _what a lovely way to burn_.

Similar thoughts must have been churning in our respective minds. Just as I squeezed my hands over his, pressing them tighter against my hips, Edward pulled my body flush against him, eliminating the barely-there space between us. The adrenaline flowing through my body, combined with the additives in my system, nullified any good judgment on my part. So what did Bella 2.0 do? She rubbed herself right up against Professor Dancepants like the shameless hussy she was.

Imagine my bogus perplexity to discover that Pancho was all about the hip action I was gyrating. Edward's enormous friend that lived in a place I liked to call 'Happytown" was pressed rigidly against my backside. The sensation reminded me that it had been fucking ages since I'd visited my personal Utopia. Perhaps I needed a vacation…

Before I could properly react to the rock-hard erection Edward was thrusting into my ass (not that I would have complained in the least), Alice announced that it was time to add turns to this stuff. I halted all movement and stopped dead in my tracks. All of that newfound sassiness went bye-bye. I suddenly feared that the ass that was just happily grinding on HBJ's hbj was about to get a fast introduction to the floor.

But once again, my partner had my back (in more ways than one obviously). He told me we had this and assured me that like Alice said, I was in good hands. _Right, just call you Allstate…_

As the class went on, I swore that I would never doubt Edward's teaching abilities again. While Alice, with Jasper's help, explained the turns and a few other moves, it was really my partner's careful instruction and expert leading that kept me vertical. I was putty in his very capable hands; hands that could do (and had done for that matter) magical things to my body.

Seeing the way we moved together from the mirror left me awestruck. It was sort of beautiful, very sensual and absolutely passionate. Even I had to admit to the naysayer within that we complemented one another quite well, so much so that I'd even go so far as to say we looked fucking hot.

Of course, my roistered mind drew the natural parallel between dancing and sex. Both involved symbiotic movement, a mutual understanding of give and take. As amazing as we looked on the dance floor, I could only imagine how unfathomably mind-blowing we would be in the bedroom. And that was exactly right: _I could only imagine._

Dwelling on such a fantasy proved to be distracting, so I equated those thoughts to the surrounding couples around us. I watched the other pairs in the mirror trying to decide whether or not they were compatible in bed. That was precisely the bucket of ice water I needed to snap me back into focus. The "eeewww" factor was off the charts when I looked at Esme and Carlisle. There was just something so wrong about picturing parents, even if they weren't your own, doing the Humpty Dance. Even if it produced a person so right, specifically the one that was currently holding me in his arms.

Before I knew it, we had put the learned steps into some sort of combo. Once we danced through it a few times, Alice announced that the hour was up and class was dismissed. I was filled with a sense of astonishment and pride that I had successfully made it through without suffering or causing injury. I was mentally high-fiving myself, repeatedly in fact.

After we said our goodbyes to Esme and Carlisle and Alice and Jasper, we found Ben and Angela so we could get ready to go see Riley's band. With a not-so-subtle nod, Angela let me know that she was more than okay with Ben riding with her so that I could ride with Edward.

As we walked out to the Rover, Edward teased, "See, that wasn't so bad now was it?"

"No," I reluctantly agreed, "but I still maintain that you're lucky that I didn't break your toes. And seriously, I had no idea you were such a good dancer."

"Well, none of us really had a choice having Alice in the family. Mom swears she was born twirling." He laughed.

"Now that I believe," I giggled. "Honestly, is there anything on the planet that you aren't stellar at?" I inquired. "You are a regular Fred Astaire."

"Well Ginger, I'll be honest - I am a man of many talents. And I'm also full of surprises."

As we got in the car, I pondered the meaning of his statements. While I was aware of the former, the latter had me a little perplexed, but in the end, my buzz, both natural and chemical made me really not care. I was up for whatever else he had up his sleeve, or at least this version of me was anyway.

* * *

**A/N:**

So Spazzella's starting to loosen up a little bit. I know you probably want to smack her, but she's a work in progress. And if you think Professor Dancepants wasn't playing fair with the Cha-Cha, just wait until we get to the club. o.O. Please don't hate me for being a cockblocking h000r. I assure you – we're getting there.

Infinite love and bewbsmooshes to **RoseArcadia, Lolapop, HookaShewz **and **Lisamichelle17** for being wicked awesome and making sure my suckage doesn't show. These ladies are dearer to me than they will ever know; I'm beyond lucky to have them in my life. I owe them bigtime.

And because I promised my All-Star Beta, **Stratan aka SBD **(Super Beta Dude) a shout-out via limerick, please indulge me the following as I am a gal of my word:

_My Beta Dude is totes super_

_For dealing with me he's a trooper_

_With his beta cape and powers_

_He rights words and leaps towers_

_And keeps my fic outta the pooper._

To you lovelies that are still patiently with my slow-updating ass and put up with my silliness, I cannot say thank you enough for giving me your time. If my shenanigans make you laugh or smile, then everything is golden. I am humbled by your wonderful reviews and words of encouragement. I'll make sure that Professor Dancepants saves you a spot on his dance card.

I hang out on the Twitter a hella lot: http:/twitter(dot)com/stephk0525. Come find me a say hey, or give me a kick in the derrière. I need it more often than not…

Until next time, which will be sooner rather than later, I'm gonna go back and hide in my pantry with a big ass bag of leftover Halloween candy.


	13. Chapter 13 He's Going the Distance

**Disclaimer: Roses are red, Violets are blue, 'Tis "M" and you're young, Then this ain't for you. My name is still Steph, but I'm not that one. The goods are all hers, I'm just havin fun.**

CH 13 – He's Going the Distance

BPOV

"So, tell me again what kind of music does Riley's band play? Are they like a cover band or do they do their own stuff?" I asked as I wondered what kind of night I was in for. After having just survived the dance class, I had no desire to end up in a mosh pit. I was currently enjoying my unbruised and non-fractured status, and as long as the universe was being good to me, I was not about to give it the middle finger.

"I guess they're mostly alt rock. From what he told me, they do a pretty good mixture of covers and their original songs."

"Oh, very cool. I'm excited to see this kid with as much as you've been talking him up."

The drive to the bar went by pretty fast as our conversation consisted of mostly mindless small talk. I was still blissfully buzzed, both from my extra-chemicular enhancements and the endorphins that were doing their own spins and twirls throughout my system. I was on a high like no other I'd ever been on and not looking for it to end anytime soon. Perhaps the flask still had some magic in it; I'd make Weber share its contents when we got to the bar.

"Have you ever been to this place before?" I asked Edward as we pulled into the parking lot of the Nectar Lounge.

"Yeah, a couple of times with Emmett to play pool. What about you?"

"It's been awhile. Rose and I came here a few times for happy hour after our shift ended at the hospital."

"Speaking of Rose," Edward started, the deviltry in his tone burbling in the intonation of his words, "is she prepared for my brother's 'take no prisoners' attitude?"

"Oh, she thinks she is. She's been trying to convince herself that she's impervious to whatever Cullen charms he plans on throwing her way. You know that saying 'methinks he protests too much'?"

"But of course I do, Ms. Swan." There was a jab in that comment I was sure, but I wasn't being drawn off sides. I decided just to let it ride and ignore his cheekiness. "And for what its worth, no one is immune to Cullen charms. It's like having a super power."

"Uhhh, right…well umm," I stammered, again choosing not to acknowledge that very fact. "I think that little run-in she had with Emmett has got her a little more hoodooed than she'd like to admit. Let me see if I can quote her accurately: she said he was in all likelihood a 'roided-out gorilla with a title'. Harsh, right?"

"Not only harsh, but totally wrong. Is she aware that he _is_ a degreed professional in a managerial position?" It was so sweet the way he was defending his brother's good name, I couldn't help but smile.

"I reminded her of that very fact. Rose did this ridiculous eye-roll-hair-flip thing and told me that 24 Hour probably had a mandatory juicing policy instead of screening for the shit. Which, if I'm reading her correctly, means that something about your brother has her off her game. Let me be clear when I say that I've _never _known her to be thrown like that."

"Oh really? Things could get very interesting I think." I nodded in agreement because that was more than likely an understatement. "Aren't we the fortunate ones to have ringside seats to the main event tonight?" He quipped, that seedy little grin plastering itself all over his face.

"Lucky us. I'll have buckets of ice water at the ready partner."

We walked inside the bar, dare I say hand in hand because, well it just seemed like the thing to do. It was a simultaneous and conscious gesture on both our parts, one that was comfortable and welcome. Really, I couldn't speculate the reasoning behind Edward's motivation, but I sure as shit knew mine. I wanted all other bitches with a hope and a prayer to back the fuck up.

Taking a brief pause to scan the room, I found Angela and Ben already seated at a table positioned with a good view of the stage and easy access to the bar. Our two friends were engaged deep in conversation and seemingly unaware of the goings on around them. I threw a quick prayer upwards that this thing lasted for her. Weber deserved the very best, and I wanted nothing more than her total happiness.

Edward and I navigated our way through the maze of tables and chairs over to them and sat down. Ben and I were formally introduced, relief settling in that my instincts told me that he was one of the good ones. From across the table, I paid close attention to his mannerisms and the way his eyes watched my friend. He was clearly taken with her and mutually smitten. Edward was right, we'd done good.

After Angela threw me a quick nod in the direction of the ladies' room, we excused ourselves from the table. Edward said he'd go start a tab. He gave me a semi-stern look when I asked if he'd bring me a Jack and Ginger. After one ridiculous pout with batted eyelashes thrown in for good measure, my very capable escort for the evening rolled his eyes and nodded his head. _Score one for me._

"Oh. My. God." Angela gushed upon closing the door to the restroom. "Where has this guy been all my life? He is _amazing_, Swan."

"That's awesome, sweetie. I'm so glad you guys are clicking."

She continued to spill about just how great things were going when both of our phones went off indicating we'd both gotten a message.

"Hale better not be ditching." Angela very curtly stated. I knew it was because she wanted Rose's approval of what looked like was her new man. "I don't care how fucking spooked she got by Edward's brother. Her ass better be here."

"I've never known her to bail before just because she was a little unhinged. That's just not her, know what I mean?"

**I'm on my way. Got held up giving report. No, I'm not flaking out on you hookers. Be there in twenty.**

"See, told you." I reassured her after we'd read it aloud in unison. "Hey, do you have any more goose in the flask or did you guzzle it all Lushy McLusherson?"

"I think there's a little left. You sure as hell don't need it though."

"Oh come on Ang!" I whined, all high-pitched and nasal-like, exactly the way I knew she could not stand. "I'm losing my buzz here."

"Fine, fine. Just quit the pissin' and moanin', will ya? You are so annoying when you get all whine-baggy."

"I know, but you love me and give me my way."

With an over exaggerated huff, Weber fished the flask out of her purse and somewhat begrudgingly handed it over. It was true, there wasn't much left, probably not even a full shot, but it was just enough to sustain my buzz and keep the floaty sensation I had going. I liked feeling freer, loosening up and not being so ruled by my inhibitions.

Making our way back to the table, I could see Edward was still seated; only while Angela had been giving me details, Emmett had made his appearance. I also didn't see my Jack and Ginger, which was definitely going to be in order knowing that Rose was on the way. I introduced Angela to Emmett and told Edward that I would go and start the tab. He tried to give me his credit card, but I wasn't having it. I told him tonight was my treat, turned on my heel, thus leaving him shaking his head.

I casually rested my elbows on the bar and waited patiently for my turn. There were several other people gathered around as things were starting to get a little busy at the club. I watched the pair of bartenders systematically take the drink orders made with raised voices, make the requested concoctions and serve them up. The dark-skinned guy looked to be of Native American descent, his complexion a warm brown offset by his ebony colored hair. He had an inviting smile and somehow managed to make friendly conversation as he filled drink orders without a pause in his motions. It was almost as if he were on autopilot, like his actions were second nature.

My eyes then moved to the girl working with him. The first thought that came to mind as I took in her appearance was whether or not her hair color was natural. I was certain that a tone that fiery red had to come from a bottle as it was as atypical a shade as I'd ever seen. The fact that her skin was extremely fair made the contrast that much more jarring and aberrant.

Her mannerisms were more fluid that the man's; graceful and lithe even. She too had mastered the art of conversing with the patrons as she mixed spirits. And while everything was done with a smile as well, there seemed to be something ulterior behind her expression, almost opportunistic. There was no doubt she was beautiful, and it made me pretty fucking glad that I was the one up here at the bar and not my dance partner. It would only take one look at him, and I felt sure she'd try and suck him in. Although I didn't want to shank a skank, I was more than ready if need be.

The next thing that I knew, my imaginary adversary was staring me square in the face asking what she could do for me. Her question had a somewhat biting tone to it, and her smile was as phony as the rat's nest on her head.

_Keep your eyes to your damn self, that's what you can do for me._

"I'd like to start a tab please." I answered, perhaps a little on the indignant side. I might have even bowed up. What the hell was her deal anyway?

"Sure. ID please." I handed her my driver's license and credit card. "No problem, _Isabella,_" the girl all but sneered as she read my name off my identification. "What can I get for you?"

"I'll have a Jack and Ginger and a Fat Tire, please." Ann Landers would have been right fucking proud of me managing to keep my manners given this chick's snide attitude. It's not like I was deserving of it after all.

"Coming right up." She turned to presumably run my card. It was not lost on me that she made no attempt to engage me in conversation whatsoever upon her return. Not that I gave to shits about that either.

As the bartender with tits (no way was I denoting her as 'lady' because she sure as hell didn't look like one) approached with the drinks, a medley of expressions swam across her face. Something or someone more likely, over my shoulder held her gaze as the look on her face morphed from curiosity to surprise to giddy as she placed my order in front of me.

"Vickie." A voice said from in back of me said. A voice that normally warmed me and righted my world. A voice that was now very cool and uncomfortable. My gut wrenched because these two clearly knew one another somehow, and the 'how" of it most likely was pretty personal. And that made my blood boil. Even though I had no right to feel that way, it didn't stop the urge I had to roundhouse her in the face.

"Well, hey there gorgeous, I thought that was you over there! Where have you been hiding yourself?" This Vickie person suddenly flopped herself elbows down on the bar, mashing her attributes together in a manner that was almost lewd. There might as well have been a neon sign hanging over her tits with an arrow flashing 'squeeze please'. Obviously, no one had ever instructed this hoochie momma in the art of subtlety.

"I haven't been hiding. Just busy." Edward was suddenly next to me, his side glued against my own. "When did you start working here?"

"About a month ago. I feel like I haven't seen you and Em in forever. You've been missed." She cooed, running her tongue over her blood red lips. Otherwise known as the gateway to trench mouth. And while the 'you've' in that sentence could have been construed as plural, I was convinced that it was meant singularly for the hunk o'sexy to my right.

"Like I said," he began, but pausing briefly to look over at me, "I've been busy. You know how it is."

"Oh, I definitely know how _it_ is Edward. Rather well in fact."

Okay, the audacity of this bitch and the trashiness that oozed from her voice made me want to go completely outer limits on her overused ass. But, I didn't have all the facts, only assumptions. Not knowing what to do with myself, I sucked down my Jack and Ginger as I waited and listened to see what else was revealed. The less I had to ask Edward about this human Petri dish the better.

No doubt there was tension in the air as Edward just stared at her. It was quite apparent that he was uneasy about how to respond to her rather large double entendre. The wider her smile got the stiffer his jaw became, and for a hot minute, as the Jack infiltrated my bloodstream chasing the Goose, I thought about licking his jaw right there just to one up Queen Crotchrot.

Unable to handle the stand off any longer, I rather audaciously asked, "So, how do you two know each other?"

"Vickie used to bartend over at the Ballroom. Em and I shot pool over there on occasion."

_Really? That's all I get? _

"Oh silly boy, it was more than just occasionally." She giggled the shrillness of her voice akin to fingernails on a chalkboard. "You and Emmett were some of my best regulars there for awhile. And I took real good care of you too, didn't I Edward?"

_Was it just me, or was this receptacle of wayward spunk begging for a beatdown? _

I glanced at him and saw his jaw drop. Once again this Vickie had managed to inject a fuck ton of awkward into the conversation. All that did was piss me off even more. I had no idea what she was trying to prove, but shit was about to get real.

"Well, isn't that special?" I piped up, doing the best Church Lady impression my altered state would allow. It actually sounded pretty good in my opinion. "Now, why don't you take care of _me_ and bring me a shot?"

"Fine. What do you want?"

"Hmmm, let's see….Oh! I know! Bring me a Red Headed Slut. That one all of the sudden just popped into my head. Can't imagine why really."

It was the poster girl for the prevention of STD's turn to go slack-jawed, a position her piehole was quite familiar with I was sure. With a death glare that was meant to either melt my face or turn me to stone, she spun around to go and get my drink. Either way, I had given her a dose of shut the hell up and was pretty fucking proud of myself. So much in fact, I totally busted out in a superiority dance that would even please Dana Carvey.

"You want to tell me where _that _came from?" A very perplexed looking Edward asked, thus pulling me from my revelry.

"What?" I queried, pretending as if I had no idea what he meant. "Well, somebody needed to shut her yap, might as well be me."

"Listen, Bella, I really want to explain to you what - "

"It's okay, Edward. I get it, or at least I think I do. Why don't you go back to the table and let me handle this. I'll down my shot and be right over, ok?"

After another three minutes debating my request, he finally gave in and walked back over to our group. As I watched him go, a high came over me. I was gonna have a little fun at the expense of my new friend Vickie.

She brought me my shot, placed it in front of me and stood there in some sort of crazy battle of wills. At first, we stared the other down, waiting to see who would budge first. I grabbed my Red Headed Slut and slammed that bitch in one huge GULP! Because I meant serious business. The force with which I crashed the glass against the counter should have been a pretty good indicator as such.

"So," I started off, pausing briefly to clear my now Jager-coated throat, "I don't know what your history is with Edward, but I'm telling you now, it won't be repeating itself. So whatever hopes or expectations you have in that over-processed head of yours - lose 'em. He's more than occupied tonight, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Is that a fact? You don't really look the type to keep him busy." She said with a biting and curt tone.

"Oh, it's more than a fact, Vickie is it? It's the fucking gospel. Not that it's any of your business, but I keep his plate pretty damn full. We clear?" I didn't even give her a chance to answer. "Excellent. And for what it's worth, _I'll_ be taking care of Edward tonight, drinks and all."

Feeling pretty stellar about my little rant, I turned to head back over to the table. Perhaps my grand exit would have been a tad more effective and impressive had I not run into a table behind me and almost taken a spill. I giggled as I straightened myself, which literally gave way to full on snorting as I approached a very quizzical looking Professor Dancepants.

I explained that Ms. Clairol Shade Thirty-Seven and I'd had a 'come-to-Jesus' meeting; she wouldn't be bothering us anymore. I really couldn't say that I'd put her in her proper place because let's face it, that locale was a corner down the street.

Edward gave me a tentative smile and reached down to take my hands in his own. After giving them a gentle kiss, he placed them over his heart. My own ticker started thumping double-time and weightlessness overtook me. It could've been the alcohol, but more than likely it was the tall drink of lip-smacking tastiness that was holding me closer than close.

"I have to get this off my chest, so just hear me out. You said you don't want an explanation, but I need to give you one for my own peace of mind, okay?"

I nodded, trying to pull myself from the hazy stupor I'd been lulled into by his heady scent. He felt it important to say whatever it was he was about to confess, so the least I could was look sharp and pay attention, intoxicating aromas be dammed.

"The girl, Vickie - I'm sure you figured out that we've hooked up before. I just want you to know that it was a _really_ long time ago and certainly didn't mean anything, at least not to me. It was more that she was there and…well, you know, I needed a fuck. I'm not proud of that douchebag at all. But that guy is long gone; I hope you realize that."

"I do, Edward. That guy wouldn't put up with me and my shenanigans, not that I would have him anyway. But I appreciate your honesty just the same."

Raising myself on my tip-toes, I kissed him on the cheek. He chuckled in my ear and whispered, "Well, _this guy _thinks your shenanigans can be kinda cute sometimes, Smalls." With that very spine-tingling declaration, we turned and sat down at the table with our friends.

Not too long afterwards, Riley stopped by the table to say "hey" before he and his band went and set up on stage. He seemed like a really nice guy. He good-looking in a boyish sort of way, and he also had the cool musician persona working in his favor and I could see why Edward thought so highly of him. It did strike me as weird the way he said "Ohhh, Bella, nice to finally meet you." Then again, it could've been my buzz.

Ben offered to get more drinks and buy the next round. I politely declined as I figured it best to slow my roll some so I didn't pass out. I hadn't eaten a lot during the day, nerves and all, and I could feel the booze hitting my system faster than it normally would.

Before Ben could leave, Emmett blurted out, "Whoa - hot blond at twelve-o-clock." We all looked to see who he was talking about, and wouldn't you know, it was Rose that had stopped him down. _Ding. Ding. Round One was about to commence._

She hadn't seen us yet, but started to walk around, and just before I stood to wave her over, Emmett sort of growled, "That's it baby, come to Papa."

"Dude," Edward warned his brother, "the blond you're about to lose your shit over is Rose. I think you are barking up the wrong tree, my man."

"Whatever, baby bruh. She'll be calling me Daddy before the sun's up. Woof."

Both Angela and I gave him a collective "yeah right" as I got up from my chair and flailed my arms so she would see us. I knew Hale like the back of my hand, and it was no surprise that her whole demeanor changed once she'd located our table. I visibly saw her shoulders square and her expression become cavalier and knew that she was inwardly psyching herself up so that Emmett didn't psyche her out. Again.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm a little late. Took me longer than usual for my shift to end." Rose stated as she took the seat next to Angela. She also made it a point not to make eye contact with certain parties at our table. This was the Ice Queen, and I'd seen her a thousand times before. Except now, I suspected that she was afraid she might melt at the hands of the elder Cullen brother.

"Rose, this is Ben Cheney, the poor chump that was forced to dance with me earlier." Angela grinned as she introduced the newfound object of her attention.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Rose," He smiled warmly and shook her hand. "And it's more like lucky if you ask me." Cutting his eyes over to Weber he added, "I was a very willing volunteer."

"Nice to meet you too, Ben. I must say, I've heard nothing but good things about you." She replied.

"I'm glad to hear that, because I'm hoping to steal her away from you guys quite frequently."

"You don't have to steal her. Shit we'll give her to you willingly." Rose quipped while giving Angela a wink. She took the chair next to my right since Edward was planted in the one on my left and gave my leg a playful hit.

"Well, if no one else is going to introduce me, I'll just do it myself." Emmett cut in; looking around at all of us as if we'd committed some cardinal sin. He held his hand out across the table to Rose, smiled the patented Cullen 'make-your-pants-go-crazy' smile and said, "I'm Emmett, the older, better looking, more charming - "

"I know exactly who you are." Rose deadpanned while cutting him off.

"Cullen brother." Emmett mumbled and withdrew his rejected hand, definitely stunned by her reaction. "Oh, well I guess these two told you all about me then, huh?"

"They sort of had to after you nearly trampled me to death at the gym a couple of days ago."

"I did what?" Emmett looked from me to Edward clearly having no recollection of it at all.

"You really don't remember slamming into me when you were leaving the gym the other day?" Rose asked, the haughty disbelief that he had no memory their brief encounter apparent in her tone and expression.

"No, I'm sorry I don't. But, it's not like I meant to or anything, Sugar."

"The name is _Rose_, and I'm not suggesting that you did. It's just that normally, a civilized person recalls nearly taking another person out, even if it is by accident. Perhaps you should try paying attention when you walk. Hopefully that's not too much for you to handle."

The whole table went quiet as we watched the exchange between these two. To fill the awkward silence, Ben muttered, "I'll just go get those drinks now."

Hale's expression was both challenging and harsh. It was clear Rose was pissed that she didn't leave quite the impression on him that he did on her. Emmett took a second before responding, but it was apparent that he was ready, excited even, to spar.

"Rose petal, you would be shocked at what I can handle. See, I run into a lot of beautiful women at my place of business. Truth of the matter is, you all sort of blend together after a while." The look on his face oozed smooth-osity and self assurance; he knew he was getting to her. "Why don't you let me buy you a drink to make up for it though?"

"Whatever," she scoffed, "but only because I never turn down free booze. And don't think that it's going to get you anywhere roid monkey. Just so you know."

"Wow, can't a guy just try to be nice and apologize? Why you gotta hurl the hate?"

"Because guys like you always have an ulterior motive, that's why."

I was just about ready to break it up when Emmett turned to me and said, "You didn't tell me she was so feisty, Bells. Although, I should have guessed it seeing how she's friends with you." Returning his attention back to my friend, Emmett's smile grew more mischievous. "Listen, sweetheart, anybody here at this table who knows me will attest that there's nothing ulterior about me. I don't need any props to take care of my business. The game comes to me, so please don't hate the playa."

"I told you once, meat head, my name is Rose. And trust me, when it comes to _this_ game, don't even bother suiting up." She very coolly said, her response cutting and quick. I couldn't help but notice through the entire exchange, the strange antithesis between their words and bodies. The verbal exchange was completely repellant, while conversely, they seemed to be physically gravitating towards one another across the table.

"Damn, that's cold." He said in a forlorn tone, which consequently turned very sarcastic as he continued. "The thing is, I don't recall saying I wanted in on the action. Some games are just more fun than others, know I mean?"

It was clear that if someone didn't intervene, this battle of wills was going to end up messy. Edward looked at me and winked as he patted my knee to let me know he had the save.

"Hey, how 'bout those Mariners, huh? Things are looking good this year." The random change of topic was enough to break the cloud of awkwardness that had settled over the table. Em and Rose continued the stare down for a moment or two longer before backing away slowly and shifting the focus elsewhere.

Edward and Emmett made baseball small talk while the girls and I talked more about Riley's band. Every now and again, Rose would inconspicuously cut her eyes over to Emmett. I knew she was checking to see if he was checking her out. I could read her like a book and knew it bothered her that Cullen Brother Numero Uno wasn't falling all over himself to get her attention. She managed to sneak a few peeks undetected, but about look number five, Emmett caught her and gave her the patented Cullen wink. I distinctly heard Rose growl, which caused me to snort (again) and her to pinch the fuck out of my leg.

Ben made it back with the drinks, but was armed with a couple of extra shots, which I thought odd since he was just getting drinks for him and Angela. He gave her the drink, and then handed Edward the two shots and a napkin.

"Hey man, the red-headed bartender told me to give you this note and the shots are on her for you and Bella." Ben said and took his seat next to Angela.

"What does it say?" Edward asked, obviously skeptical at what the hell was going on. As was I. Whatever was in the shot glass intended for me, I was betting there was arsenic or some shit in it.

"Dude I don't know; didn't read it." He shrugged, taking a long swig of his beer.

"Well, don't just sit there, bro, read it out loud. This I gotta hear." Of course, Em would want to know. He knew the Empress of Skankville too. Okay, maybe not as well as Edward did…_nope, so not going there._

Edward took the napkin, giving it a cursory glance and shook his head. "No, not sharing, and I'm sure as fuck not drinking _this_." He said pointing at one of the shots. "I don't think you should either."

"Oh, come on, don't be such a girl, Edwina," I teased, "give me the love note; I ain't scared." Reaching over, I grabbed the napkin out of his hand so I could see what Slut Puppy had to say. _Oh hell no._

"Check this shit out, guys. She says, 'Edward – Shots compliments of me. The Cockteaser (green one) is for that girl you're with; seems fitting. Yours is the Throw Me Down and Fuck Me. I know you know that one well. Enjoy!' Wow, that was nice of her, wasn't it?" I spat, a whole lot pissed and ready to school the bitch and her tainted cooch juice.

I stood up and told Edward to turn his chair around. I wanted to make sure that Whorebag had a clear view of the show I was about to give. Making sure I had her full attention (which I did) I gave her a hearty salute. Picking up the Cockteaser, I positioned myself between Edward's legs so he would have to spread them. I then placed my shot in the area of its naming; only I wasn't teasing in the slightest. He looked down at my drink nestled in front of his dick and then back up to me with an expression of equal parts bewilderment and enthusiasm.

Bending over, I slid my hands ever so slowly down his chest, deliciously down his hipbones and legs until I was kneeling in front of him. It seemed like ages since I'd been this position, and quite frankly, I actually missed it. From the look in his eyes, I knew he did too. Giving Edward a wink, I griped his knees and dipped my head down towards the Holy Land, picking up the shot glass with only my mouth.

With a head toss back, I downed that bad boy in one swallow not wasting a single drop. Mentally praising my dramatics, I stood up and turned towards Barslut Extraordinaire who looked ready to spontaneously combust. Now, I didn't know exactly what all was in a Cockteaser, except that there was Midori for sure given sweet taste and the green color. Whatever the other ingredients were, I felt the tingles scatter through my body as they ricocheted through my bloodstream. All in all, I decided that the Cockteaser was a pretty good shot and to show my gratitude to our generous benefactor, I blew her a kiss.

Edward's eyes, which were the size of saucers right about then, kept looking back and forth between the two of us. He'd never seen me act this way due to the fact that my current state of inebriation was the most out of control he'd ever seen. Judging by the look in his eyes, he might've been digging it just a little.

And because I was really flying now, I decided I was nowhere finished with Two-Dolla Holla behind the bar. I stood up and reached around Edward and grabbed his shot glass off the table. I wasn't exactly sure who else besides those in our immediate party were witnessing my rather dubious performance, and it's not like I really cared either. The ante had been upped and I was calling the bitch's bluff.

In an unforeseen move of unintended genius, I'd chosen one of my lower-cut V-necked blouses that showcased my ta-tas in an accentuary, yet respectable fashion. Lucky for me, and for my dance partner, the cleavage was just right to hold a shot glass. Specifically, the very shot glass I had in my hand.

"Your turn, Professor Cha-Cha." I purred and placed it right in between my girls. Giving Vickie a cursory glance to make sure I still had her attention (undivided as it were), I fixated my stare to a very flummoxed looking Edward. That very face turned downright stupefied when I threw my leg over and straddled his lap. _Yeah baby._

"I gots yer throw me down 'n fuck me right here, misser. No hands, all mouth. Handle that?" He nodded, licking his mouth, and without another semi-slurred word, I pushed his head straight into my funbags. Like a champ, he dove right in, and _fuck me_ if I didn't shudder when his lips brushed against the swells of my skin.

He threw his head backwards and sucked the shot down in a solid guzzle. Straight up truth, the thought definitely crossed my mind about taking a nice long suck on his Adam's apple as it bobbed up and down. It was a fact that every damn part of him was lickable, suckable and any-kinda-other-able you could think of.

When Edward righted himself and brought his head back up, he had the cheesiest grin on his face; I was pretty sure it matched the one on my own at that very moment. I pulled the shot glass from his mouth and of course just _had _to press myself against him so I could place it on the table behind him. I both felt and heard the rumble in his chest vibrate against my own. I mean, I was sort of plastered against him like drywall.

We sat there just staring; our grins morphing into a more serious and muted look of titillation. Our torsos rose and fell in perfect rhythmic pulsation for who knows how long before we both became aware of the smattering of applause and catcalls surrounding us. It was hard not be a little pissed that our bubble had been permeated.

"Well that was, um…" Edward started to say, but stopping short as if he were unsure of the right words.

I looked over to the bar where the booze flooze had resumed her duties of peddling the liquor, and hopefully her wares elsewhere. "Exactly what needed to be served," I nodded, pleased with myself for not letting her get the best of me. Her expression was dark, almost lurid in disgust. And that made the melodramatic shot caller in me happier than a pig in shit.

"Right, definitely no complaints here," Edward chuckled, and if I wasn't blitzed, I'd swear I saw him go a little pink.

I partially stood, but before removing myself from his lap entirely, I leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "Thanks for being such a good sport."

"Anytime, Smalls, anytime."

Now that I had completely, and regretfully, disentangled myself from atop the pants of dance, I bowed and curtsied like the good little performer I was to all my friends. Both Weber and Hale gave the 'you-will-explain-what-the-fuck-that-was-all-about' look, to which I nodded in compliance.

There must have been others that enjoyed the spectacle, because I could hear more claps and whistles behind me. I turned to acknowledge them, and imagine my surprise when I saw my would-be-admirer-waitress looking on and mildly applauding some five feet away. Recognition flashed in her eyes as she walked over to our group.

_Well, shit just keeps getting better now doesn't it?_

"You." She stated very matter-of-factly.

"Me." I said, not really sure exactly what all I was admitting to.

"You put on quite a show, uh…"

"Bella, my name is Bella. And thanks, I think."

"Right, Bella…beautiful. Makes sense." The girl's eyes darted from me to Edward's and I knew she was wondering where my life partner was. "So, where's your lady friend from the other day? She know you're here with him?"

"She's not here, but she knows and trust me, I'm not doing anything I shouldn't be. The thing is - "

"No explanations necessary. I'm pretty sure they're too complicated anyway." She chuckled, shaking her head. In a way, I was glad because I really didn't feel like it anyway. My brain hurt just trying to rehash it to myself.

"Not to be intrusive, but I'm Rosalie, and about as clear as it gets. Just thought I would introduce myself." Suddenly she was standing and had positioned herself between me and the girl, whose name had escaped me. Tasha? Tara? Fuck, I couldn't remember.

Luckily, this was one instance that I didn't have to worry about being rude. Hale had no qualms about jumping in and making the introduction herself. I knew this chick would take one look at my friend and be done for.

"Well, very good to meet you, I'm Tanya. And clear is good, really good." She smiled and shook Rose's hand. I looked over at Emmett whose curiosity had definitely been piqued. I could see something was brewing in that brain of his.

Rose and Tanya fell into their own conversation and the next thing I knew, my bestie was following her new acquaintance back to her table. Emmett decided that he and his brother needed another beer, so he trekked his way over to the bar to grab them a drink. Just before he left, Emmett made sure to ask what Rose's favorite drink was. When I told him it was vodka and cranberry, he put his hand over his heart and said, "I think we were meant to be."

The four of us left at the table started talking about Riley's band and their possible set list. Edward and Ben had the inside scoop since he was a TA. They had started their sound check, so I was guessing that they would be starting any minute.

Emmett made it back with the drinks, the grin on his face a big as ever. There was no telling what he was up to, but if I was a betting woman, I would say it had something to do with Rose.

"What's that look for? What did you do Em?" Edward questioned his brother.

"Nothing, man. I swear. All I did was send the ladies a drink." Emmett kicked back in his chair, chuckled and took a drink of his beer. "So, Bella, Angela, I need some insight to the fair Rose. See, I think I've got her number, but I want to make sure I'm reading her right."

"I dunno, Em. I mean, she is one of my two best friends."

"Yeah, it feels kind of deceitful to sell her out." Angela said in agreement.

"Ladies, I'm totally trustworthy, okay. I'm good people; ask my baby bro, ask my dad." Emmett looked from me to Weber and then back to me again. "Seriously, all I want is some confirmation on my theories."

"Oh, this ought to be good," Angela giggled, "if we had a dollar for every guy that thought he had Rose figured out, shit, we could retire to Bora Bora. Right, Swan?"

"For real."

"I understand where you guys are coming from, okay. I get it. But here's the deal; I think there's something there, like a charge. Whatever it is, she excites the hell out of me. And she gets it too, I think." He paused for a brief moment, gaging our reaction.

"I guess that's a pretty good possibility." I shrugged, not wanting to give too much away.

"I also think it's driving her insane that I'm not kissing her ass and falling all over my shit like she's probably used to. Not that I don't want to, trust me; the girl is fucking racktastic. Plus, she's got more than three brain cells, and she'll call me on my bullshit. I mean, come on – intelligence _and _beauty – that is erector set worthy."

Evidently, Emmett was ignoring the fact that both Weber and I were giving him the blankstare. He just kept right on keeping on. "I just think I separate myself from the pack by being blasse. My gut says Rose will work twice as hard to make me see what everyone else does. Of course, I already do. So, it's all win."

It was Angela who chose to answer first. "Wow - that was pretty impressive, I have to say. And probably more accurate than I care to admit."

"That is profound, Em, and eerily insightful." I admitted reluctantly.

"Well, you pick up a few things when you spend a year as a sociology major. Now that I know I'm right, Mission 'How-come-he's-not-that-into-me?' can begin."

Our attentions were suddenly pulled to the stage as Riley gave a brief welcome and thanked everybody for coming out. I turned to see what was going on with Rose, but realized that she wasn't sitting at the table anymore. Looking around, I was puzzled to where she'd gone. I didn't think she would leave with that chick without telling me…

"She's over at the pool tables with Plan B." Emmett said rather loudly in my ear. The band had started playing, and it was a little hard to hear him.

"Do what?" I asked completely confused, which certainly wasn't a shock given the fact that I was a little schnockered.

"Rose. She and her fallback lady, who I'm calling Plan B, are playing pool."

"Why are you calling her 'Plan B'?"

"Because I'm Plan A. And in a minute, I'm going to see if she opposed to a Plan C." Again, the only look I could manage was of complete and utter blankness. "Let me break it down for you, Bells. Plan C involves a two-for-one special. I think there's room for all parties tonight."

"Well, don't be surprised when she tells you to _see_ your way out of the situation, Hoss." Edward interjected, having heard his brother's comments.

Emmett stood up. Before he turned to head over to where they were, he leaned down between us and said, "Stop sippin'the haterade bruh; you're harshing my mojo. Now, if you'll excuse me, there are a couple of beauties that need help workin' a stick."

Edward and I laughed as we watched him saunter over like he owned the fucking place. I wondered to myself how long it would be before Hale tried to rack the extra balls that were about to be in their midst.

Settling back, I enjoyed the sounds of the Riley's band. They played some Chili Peppers, and hit us with some STP before doing a couple of their original songs. Riley was a good front man, and I wondered if these guys had aspirations of playing more than local bars.

Movement from my periphery shifted my focus to my left. Edward was working some intense air guitar, and I wished I could have been a fucking Fender right about then. I started to hop back in his lap and ask him to play my chords, but decided that another drink was in order.

"Hey, I need a drink. You okay?" I asked Sir Strum-A-Lot.

Edward got a very funny look on his face. "Are you sure you need one right now?" There was an odd inflection in his voice, one that made him seem slightly jumpy. Maybe he thought I'd hit my limit. Or maybe he didn't trust me to be back up at the bar with Quickie Vickie. He was right on in that if she tried anymore bullshit I was gonna give a whole new meaning to the term 'hoedown'.

"Yeah, I do. S'all good, aight? If I'm not back in fife, come n'rescue me." I winked, which probably looked like I had something in my eye if I were being honest, and walked back to the bar. I noticed the male bartender cut in front of the stench wench to come wait on me. If looks could kill, shit, I would have been void of blood and a pulse at that moment. But I gave just as good as I got and shot one back with as much fire as I could muster.

"What'll you have?" He asked, offering a warm and friendly smile, which was quite the contrast to the ice cold glare I was getting from his counterpart.

"I'll have a Jack and Ginger, please. And I also think I'll have a Dirty Whore. I'm sure you're familiar with that one." I grinned and nodded slightly. No sooner had I gotten the words out, Vickie dropped a highball that shattered all over the floor. That meant she must have heard me. _Excellent_.

He turned to see the commotion, and then back to me to ask what the name on the tab was. I gave him my name just before he went over to her to help. I heard her tell the guy, whose name was Sam that she was sorry, she just had an accident. They worked together quickly to clean up the shards and for a split second, I almost felt bad. _Almost_.

While I was waiting on my drinks, I looked back over to the pool tables to see if Emmett was still in the game. Imagine my non-surprise to see him sidled up close to Tanya showing her proper form in holding the pool cue. I was too far away to see Rose's expression, but I knew it was none too pleasant. I was betting she was equal parts jealous of both parties.

Bartender Boy returned with my drinks. I took the Dirty Whore shot, and making sure I had the one of solid matter's attention, I nodded and downed the liquid one in a singular toss. I shivered and placed my shot glass back on the bar, prepared to go back to the table and tell Edward that my strings needed a good plucking.

But the music had stopped and Riley was standing at the mic about to say something. "Okay guys, if you'll indulge us a second, there's a member of our audience we'd like to come up and jam with us for a couple of songs."

_Oh, well that's pretty cool. Kudos to that guy._

"I'd like to introduce you to Edward Cullen, professor by day, closet guitar enthusiast by night. Come on, dude, get up here and let's do this."

_Ummm, did he just say the name I think he said…_

And then I saw Edward stand, look over his shoulder at me and take off for the stage.

_Yes, yes he did._

All it took was the vision of Edward slinging that guitar over his shoulder for the tuning fork in my loins to go sharp. The boy could definitely move, and from the way things looked, he was about to demonstrate he could play as well. Hot guy that can work his hips and a guitar? I would totally buy one of those off Amazon.

But the fact of the matter was, I didn't have to. There was the tangible thing right there in front of me. All I had to do was reach out and grab him. Which is precisely why I went back to the bar and ordered a Sweet Bliss, the very state I would be in as soon as he got off that stage.

* * *

A/N: So, Professor Dancepants Spingod is going all rockstar and Spazzella is getting trashed. What's the over/under that she throws her panties onstage? Anyone?

The recipes for all the shots and drinks referenced in this chapter can be found at www(dot)drinkmixer(dot)com. I have personally had a Red Headed Slut (the shot you pervs) myself and it is kickass.

Raised glasses to my pre-readers of bodaciousness (yes they all have stellar ta-tas) **RoseArcadia, HookaShewz, lolapop **and **Lisamichelle17**. They make me chillax and I'm humbly in their debt. Muchos gracias to the Beta Dude of awesomeness, **Stratan**. He's earned a cape and then some for dealing with my neurotic flailiness. In fact SBD: Hasbro called and wants to do an action figure in your likeness. So get on that, will ya?

I need to tip my hat and pass a bottle to **Bashville **for enriching my vocab with the term "racktastic" several weeks ago over Twitter. I hope Emmett used it wisely darlin'.

And lastly, I'd like to buy a round of your favorite poison to all of you beauties who give me your time. You guys are amazing and I'd pick up the bar tab for every last one of you if I could. And then I'd grope you cause I get handsy when I'm buzzed.

Come say hiya to me on the Twitter: http:/twitter(dot)com/stephk0525. And then crack a whip, I need it like whoa.

Before I head back into the pantry, I want to pimp a contest. The fuckawesome ladies over at L'amour de Femmes are hosting the For the Love of Women Contest devoted to all things femme slash. I'm so flippin' excited to be one of the judges! Take a gander at the contest page and write us a one shot. Gimme the pie. Gimme the beaver. http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~fortheloveofwomencontest.

Until next time, Happy Holidays! I'm hanging in the pantry with the Fruity Pebbles. It's my goal to see you sooner rather than later.


	14. Chapter 14 He's Going for Speed

**Disclaimer: This here ain't for the younguns. I say fuck too much and have a sense of humor like a twelve year old boy. Also, I'm not the Steph your looking for. Unlike me, she has press cred. I just like to mess with her stuff. **

**CH 14 – He's Going for Speed**

**BPOV**

I swear I could've stared at him all night long. And then some. Edward hadn't even played a note yet and already I was in full scale groupie mode. Watching him get behind that Fender Strat and tune it drove me completely wild. If I'd been able to pull off some sort of whistle (numb lips were proving to be a hindrance of sorts), I so would have.

Whether it was my intoxication or the man behind the music, who knew? What was for certain was that slack-jaw syndrome had afflicted me, and I didn't give a flying fuck who saw me drool either. The thought of doing the old bra trick (i.e. removing said titsling without taking off a top layer of clothing, thus extracting through the sleeve) and twirling it about lasso-style sounded totally awesome in my booze laden brain for a second or twenty. I had been known to cowgirl up on occasion.

But then Rose and her posse of admirers, meaning Em and Tanya, came to check on me. My focus got pulled to the very interesting dynamic of the threesome that had interrupted my Edward Show. I could tell my-perhaps-still-future-bro-by-vows was still playing the "Rose-ain't-rockin-my-world" card; I almost wet my pants laughing at Rose and her pissed-off befuddlement as I sat atop the bar. Yes, I said _atop_ the damn bar. Like I owned the son of a bitch, which happened to be precisely the way I felt.

"You've got epic drunkface, Swan." Rose very sternly said in my ear as she pulled my head toward her, very nearly yanking me off my perch. "You might consider slowing down a little."

"Pssshhhh, whaterer. I'm fiiiine, you teasin' whore." Oh yeah, I was full of piss and vinegar alright and in full deflection mode. Even blitzed, I knew calling Rose a tease would get her dander up.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about Buzz Lightbeer. I can't even ask where you're barstool is, bitch, because you've skipped that step and sprawled out on the bar. You know I don't tease."

"Like you're _not_ teasin' Emmett."

"Me? Me? Oh, give me a break, please. That ape is the one that's running games. No one is immune to me." I cleared my throat and raised an eyebrow, or at least it felt like I did anyway. I had sort of lost the sensation in my facial muscles by that point. Before I could ponder whether Botox might be in my future, Hale eyeroll-snorted and said, "Well, present company excluded. You are an odd bird. Beautiful, but odd no less."

So my drunk ass raspberried in her general direction. Truly, I was the height of class when buzzed out of my gourd.

"You are both so into each other it's silly, woman. I know you're diggin' the girl too, but you need to grab the boy and ménage a trey outta here. You know you wanna, Hale. Get that freak flag out and wahooo it, baby."

"As if you're one to be giving advice, Coyote Ugly. Do me a favor and get your ass off the bar before you fall, or set it on fire. We all know you have pyronormal tendencies."

At that point Rose turned her attentions to Emmett who was working it overtime on the third in their party. He was not a personal trainer by trade, but Emmett was doing his level best to give Tanya her own special workout. Through the dimness of the lighting, I could see Rose's nostrils flare and her chest rise as she sucked in a deep, frustrated breath.

"I'm gonna light you up if you don't leave me alone, you heifer." I muttered to myself. Apparently, my inside voice still had a few too many decibels.

"What was that, Bella Marie?"

"I said tomorrow will be a nice day if it doesn't rain." I smiled brightly.

"You did not. What the hell did you say?"

"I said I love you, and I think you're beautiful."

"Whatever. I'm watching you, Swan. I'm always watching." Rose then turned, pulled Tanya away from Emmett and got Bartender Boy's attention. I know I heard her purr, "Come on, Shortcake, and let me buy you a drink."

Emmett leaned on the bar beside me. He had this mischievous glint in his eye, but also an air of confidence that was unmistakable. I couldn't help but smile at the way he was shaking his head and chuckling.

"What's so funny? You got somethin' shady up your sleeve?"

"No, no, Bells. _Not me._ You know I'm an angel."

"Oh, for sure, dude. All you Cullen boys have wings and halos." I said, exaggerating my point by making a circular motion above my head.

"So, do you think I'm getting to her? Rose, I mean." He said with a smirk.

"Keep doing whatever it is you're doing. She can't decide if she wants to fuck you up, or just fuck you period."

"Well, I sure hope it's the latter of the two. And by the way, you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Sure do." I said with a grin. "I plan on kissing your brother with it too later on. Among other things," I added for good measure.

"Overshare girl, TMI. I don't need to know about you and my baby bro, only that you two will get your shit together and well…get your shit _together_."

Before I could respond to his comment, I heard the familiar opening guitar riff of one of my favorite songs ever. Of course they would play the Flys 'cause fuck all if Professor Magic Fingers didn't have me right where he wanted me.

Edward wasn't singing lead, but I could hear him harmonize while he wielded that instrument like a lethal weapon. Lord knows he was slaying me where I stood. Sat. Plopped. Whatever.

He had me absolutely mesmerized. My eyes were glued on the Golden God of Guitar; I was in the most wonderful mind numbing trance in memory and had no desire to be freed. In fact, someone would've had to blind me or knocked my drunk ass out to make me look away from my music man. Go ahead and lead that parade, baby. March on.

The expression on his face was one of passion and pure unadulterated enjoyment. He was so alive and animated, his lips curling up into a smile as he sang, "Well, I think you're smart, you sweet thing. Tell me your name, I'm dyin' here." But there was no mistake to be made; I was the one whose demise was happening at that very moment. I was going down in flames and loved every minute of the burn.

_Yes sir, I know that you can dance. Yes, we can sure as shit talk for awhile. And more if you're game._

SNAP! SNAP!

"Hellooo. Anybody home there, Bells?"

In my Edward induced haze, I had completely forgotten that Emmett was standing right there. In all fairness, shit-faced or not, the younger Cullen brother had that effect one me anyway. I had tunnel vision when it came to him it seemed.

"No, I don't need a ride home, thanks."

"Right. Clearly you didn't hear me." I just stared at him blankly. I was a little confused, but mostly perturbed that Emmett was interrupting my state of stupor.

"What?"

"Listen, I'm going to say this once, so pay attention. This whole set-up, it's all for you. He hasn't played for like a decade. I think you need to know that."

All I could do was nod dumbly. That statement was both sobering and intoxicating all at the same time. As lit as I was, I understood the importance of what Emmett was telling me and had no intention of wasting such valuable info.

"Thanks for that, Emmett. You're the bestest." I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Damn I wanted a piece of paper that said we were legally in-laws. Too bad scrawling that out on a napkin wouldn't make things legit.

"No problemo. Now wish me luck. I'm off to close this deal, or die trying anyway."

"Take no prisoners, Em." I said as I held up my fist in solidarity. We were both on our own missions it was clear.

"Unify and conquer, Private Swan. That's the objective." He laughed giving my knuckles a bump that almost landed me tits up behind the bar. After I caught myself, and my breath for that matter, I turned my focus back to the man who was killing me anything but softly.

_The second he steps off that stage, I will tear. Him. Up. _I thought to myself as I let the drool fall shamelessly from my mouth. I'd bet a bottle of Boone's Farm that I wasn't the only broad whose salivary glands were working overtime. The thought that I was gonna be the charmed witch to end up with him after last call (provided that I made it that far) made me drunker than all the shots I'd previously ingested.

"I assume you're still doing okay?" I heard Bartender Dude ask me.

"For right now," I replied with a smile. "But, where did the other bartender go? The redheaded bit-er...chick?"

"I sent her to the outside bar. Seems her mind was preoccupied in here, if you will." He said with a somewhat pointed look. I just shrugged my shoulders and muttered an aloof "oh". When I didn't say anything further he added, "By the way, the blond you're with was pretty adamant that I slow down giving you drinks."

"Oh peeshaw, she's not my mom. I'm a big girl. But I think I'll take a Feeling Lucky, since that's the way I'm rollin' right now. You know how to make that shot?"

"Indeed I do," he responded clearly impressed, "but how you know that one is the question of the night."

"Well, lemme tell ya…uh…what's your name again?"

"Sam."

"Right, Sam." I said as I patted him on the arm. "I'd like to tell you it's a byproduct of a misspent youth, but sadly no. The truth is a mom who had a yen for good-looking bartenders, not unlike yourself before she settled on a ball player."

"Guess she listened to that song 'teach your children well' a little too closely, right?" He joked as he started to pull the Bacardi 151 and Limon from the shelf.

Before I could tell him just how right he was, I saw Edward take the electric guitar off, grab a stool and pick up an acoustic. Riley had already done the same and was adjusting two mics center stage. They both took a seat, and I was dying of anticipation as to what song they were going to do next.

_Shitfuckpissandmotherbitch_ - if I thought the yummy factor was off the damn charts before, sweet lord of pickin' and grinnin', Edward was scrump-didly-umptious crouched on a stool with an acoustic strapped to his chest.

"Ladies and gentleman," Riley addressed the crowd, "if you will extend me and the professor a courtesy by letting us take it down just a little. The following song goes out to a very special lady in the audience at the request of the fellow sitting next to me. She knows who she is."

_Dear Lord of Depends, please don't let me expel the contents of my bladder. I'm feeling a little incontinent right now. A puddle would not be cool. Amen._

I'd barely gotten my prayer of dehydration out of my head when Riley told Edward to 'count it off, dude'. Which he did. And I was counted out.

The slow, melodic strums filled the room, thus sealing my demise. Of course he would choose _that _song. He was so not playing fair, and truth be told, I was ready to break every damn rule imaginable. So, turning to Sam, I said the only thing that made sense in my swoony-overloaded-lust-filled brain.

"Make that a double."

**EPOV**

_Now? She needs a drink fucking now?_

I wanted to stop her and tell her to sit her tipsy, hot ass down. But Bella didn't do anything, sober or not, without a game of twenty questions. As much as I loved that about her, sometimes it was downright exasperating. Completely stole my thunder and there was no way I was letting that happen now. Not after all the careful planning I'd done to get her here and to this point.

From the time we'd left the dance studio, it seemed for every stride I made forward, some curve ball got lobbed at me, threatening to derail my mojo. Luckily I'd been able to dodge them so far, but I had to wonder when one would finally conk me in the noggin.

I thought I'd landed myself in Shitsville, population me, when I saw that Vickie worked here. Of all the places for one of my former fuck buddies to show up and my rather unsightly not-distant-enough-past to catch up with me. Son of a bitch, I thought that would be the end of all the progress I'd made tonight. That was about the biggest knuckleball I could ever have imagined.

However, given her knack for being predictably unpredictable, Bella of course shocked the shit out of me by the way she handled the whole girl-I-used-to-screw debacle. It was the pissing contest to end all pissing contests, and the way she refused to back down was a total turn on. The Horny Bastard within had been having a field day from the second her hips started to sway. Fortunately, the Gentleman was right there making sure I didn't get too out of step. I'd been teetering the line of what was appropriate and what was not all damn night.

My dick had been up and down like it was at a Catholic mass, but _motherfuck_, Vickie went all super bitch and sent over those shots, and I thought it was game over. Bella clearly had thought she'd handled the situation at the bar. Wrong. When she read the shitty note that accompanied the drinks, well my cock was about ready to throw in the damn towel.

Not that I thought I'd be getting any play tonight, but shit, I'm a dude whose main man had been riding the bench for a long fucking time. I was an optimist and would be a blue-ball faced liar if I couldn't admit that the Horny Bastard within was clinging to rosary beads in hopes of some action. It was just human nature for my dick to respond accordingly when Bella did hot shit, like rub her ass all over it. Or draw up like a doodle bug when ex-fucks decided to come out of the woodwork.

For me, Bella's feistiness and fire had always been sexy, but the demonstration of 'I-will-not-be-fucked-with' made Pancho go guns up in my pants. Especially when she placed that cocktease shot right in front of him. It was almost a great balls of fire situation, literally. And she wasn't even done after getting her mouth so painfully close to where its absence had been sorely (fuck, painfully) missed.

I'll be dammed if my girl didn't take the one that bitch sent me, straddle my lap, put the poison right in the middle of her sweet tits and shove me face first into glory land. Hallefuckinluja. That whole spectacle was about the hottest thing I'd ever been a party to.

Kazoos and confetti aside, I was excited to get up there and play for her sure. But I was also nervous as hell. What if it freaked her out? What if I came off looking like a desperate douchebag?

"Edward, man, chill. You got this. She's going to love hearing you play." Ben reached over, slapping me on the back and yanked me from my clearly visible brewing panic attack. "You and Riley sounded totally solid when I heard you the other day, seriously."

"Wait a minute. Did I miss something? What are you going to do Edward?" Angela asked with curious excitement.

"I, uh… well… attempt to jam with the band for a couple of songs and sing a little without making a fool of myself. Thoughts? Yay? Nay? Too much?" I asked, the questions falling from my mouth in rapid fire fashion.

_Freaking out much Cullen?_

"Calm down, Edward. I think it's gonna be awesome. As long as you don't say 'Bella, this one's for you', I think you're golden. You know how she hates attention."

"I know, don't worry. Riley will pretty much do all the talking."

"What's awesome, besides my presence?" Emmett boomed as he and the two girls he was trying to charm walked up.

"Oh, Edward is going to get up on stage and serenade Miss Bella, that's all. Nothing major." Angela said fictitiously. The knot in my stomach grew as the instinct of fight or flight hit me full force.

"No way. I didn't know you were musically inclined." Rose said, admittedly impressed.

"Well," my elder brother stretched, putting his arm around the strawberry blond chick, "there are many talents we Cullen men possess."

"Two outta the three of you anyway," Rose snorted, her tone with the familiar razor sharpness I'd come to know, respect and even love a little bit. Before Em could come back with some sort of jab, Rose changed the topic of conversation by asking, "Where's Bella, you guys?"

"She went to the bar to get another drink." I said.

"Great. Anybody watching her or know what that tally is?" Rose looked to each of us in question; our collective shrugged shoulders provided her an answer she was none too happy with.

Unfortunately, we'd all been a smidge preoccupied to really pay accurate attention. The girls and I both knew what a lightweight Bella was. Under normal circumstances, I think we all would've been more on task. But me battling former lays and raging hard-ons, while the others were dealing with their own distractions, well that had allowed Bella to drink way more than she probably should have.

At that very moment, I heard Riley call me to the stage. This was it and the time for nuttin' up was at hand.

I looked pleadingly at Rose, who very graciously told me that she would check on Bella and to break a leg. It wouldn't have surprised me in the least if that wasn't loaded with a literal meaning. Em and Ben told me to knock 'em dead and Angela gave me a huge thumbs up.

Standing from my chair, I turned and caught Bella's gaze just before I went up on stage. She looked totally stunned, so I flashed her the most dazzling smile I could muster, praying I didn't look like I was about to blow chunks. And then I marched forward to either take her by storm, or bomb miserably. Either way, I was going big because half-assing this was not an option.

As I took my place onstage, I ran through the songs we'd chosen and rehearsed over the last few weeks. Admittedly, my skills were a little rusty, but some quality sessions with Riley had made all the difference. It truly was like riding a bike, you never really forgot how.

The guitar had always been a passion of mine, but my mom would never allow me to really pursue it. In, fact, when I started junior high and wanted to takes lessons, she told me no way in hell. So I was relegated to the "Esme-approved" school orchestra and played the bass.

Mom hadn't bargained that my friend Peter was a whiz on any instrument with strings and would gladly teach me everything he knew. I didn't stay with the orchestra through high school, instead going the way of the jock and playing baseball, which was my other love. But, Peter and I would get together frequently and jam for fun. And when Esme saw that I wasn't going to turn into some drugged-out rock star, she was okay with my hobby.

Too bad it had fallen by the wayside once I started grad school and by the time I'd started teaching, well, I had stopped all together. But Bella had given me a reason to start again. I had every intention of pouring all the fervor I had for both her and my instrument and fuse them together.

It may have been a goofy as hell, but I was hoping that this gesture would prove to be romantic and show Bella once and for all just how serious I was about her giving me my title back.

That's why we started with 'Got You Where I Want You'. It had a kick ass beat and was a little tongue- in-cheek if I was being truthful. Things had been improving and we'd been getting so much closer, in all of the emotional ways that really mattered. I had a feeling I was close to having Bella where I wanted her. At least I hoped so anyway.

I harmonized a little just to ease myself a little further into performance mode. Of course, it didn't take long before I got caught up in the sound of the music. It energized me, and I somehow always seemed to get lost in the catchy hooks and riffs. But, in the back of my mind was the knowledge that this was for one person; I prayed with everything that was in me this spectacle I was creating was working.

And when it was time to get serious and pull out the big gun song, I couldn't help but try and sneak a peek and see what effect, if any, this was having on her. I found our table, but could only make out Angela and Ben. The overhead lights were pretty bright and made it sort of hard to see. As badly as I wanted to see her reaction, my focus at this juncture was of the utmost importance.

I began readying myself for the acoustic duet Riley and I had been working on since our first session. Ditching the electric for the acoustic, I grabbed a water bottle that was up on stage and took in a huge pull to try and clear my throat. There was a menacing case of cottonmouth threatening to pull a coup on me. Unfucking cool considering I was about to pour out heart and soul to Bella in song. If 'Walking After You' didn't get the message across about how serious I was, then nothing probably would.

_Dave Grohl, oh God of Rock, please make her understand with the genius of your lyrics. _

I heard Riley say we were slowing things down as I put the acoustic across my chest. This number was going to be raw and stripped down. It would be intense and as from the heart as anything I'd ever done before. Fuck, I was even taking the second verse solo, which scared the shit out of me, but in my mind a gesture that was absolutely necessary.

I sat down on the stool next to the talented Mr. Biers and sent up one final prayer that I didn't screw this up. Pounding heart, spinning head and churning stomach almost did me in, but a much needed deeper-than-deep breath managed to reset my system. Counting off, I allowed my words to do much more than cue the song. They willed me to a place of calm and focus where I could bare my soul to her.

The peaceful melody and strumming beats resonated through me, each note empowering and invigorating. I freed myself becoming engrossed in the rhythm; a rush from the energy that flowed from Riley to me and the quiet intensity of the music filled my entire being. This time, my harmonization in the chorus was slightly more forceful. At least that was the way it felt as I sang. When it was my turn to stand alone, I was more than ready; my voice rang out full, sonorous and unfaltering.

I sang _if you'd accept surrender, I'll give up some more_ with absolute lucidity. Too fucking right, for us to be where I knew deep down we both wanted, she had to do just that: surrender. Bella had to stop fighting her feelings and start fighting her fear. And even though I'd given up a lot in my quest to make things right, I'd keep on giving for as long as it took.

The words _weren't you adored_ came forth in earnest, rhetorical and unabashed. I looked out into blackness to the face I couldn't see, my eyes demanding that Bella seek them out with her own. If nothing else, she _had_ to realize that I'd adored her from the very beginning.

_I cannot be without you, matter of fact_ couldn't have been more concrete and riddled with truth if I'd written it myself. Bella was the woman I'd always wanted, even before I had truly grasped that concept. My life did not, could not and would not work without her in it.

Not anymore.

Once Bella realized and accepted that as long as she kept walking away (hell running was more accurate) from my truth, I would always walk after her and never stop. Whatever waiting game she was playing, whatever point she was senselessly trying to prove, I would withstand and disprove it all.

As our duet ended, an overwhelming sense of pride, coupled with feelings of relief, thundered through my system. I'd done it. I mean, _I'd really done it._ Sure, getting through those songs (without vomiting) and performing for Bella was the accomplishment at its most basic, but really, it was so much more than that. I wore a suit of naked vulnerability doing so and exposed my entire being for her up on that stage.

What could be scarier than leaving yourself wide open like that?

And I survived. And I was stronger for it. And she would be too if she'd just trust me.

To say that I was pumped was a complete understatement. As fucking lame as the comparison might have been, I totally understood what old Leo was shouting about and bought into that 'I'm the king of the world' bullshit. I did feel that way. And so I bounded down off that stage, prepared to dodge the damn iceberg. My voyage would be a success. I wouldn't accept wreckage.

Barely registering the applause and the hands that patted me as I passed, I made a beeline for our table. Anxious and eager to see her reaction, getting to Bella was the only thing that mattered in my world right then. The look in her eyes would tell me what I felt deep down what I felt I had accomplished. This whole night had been so carefully planned and my public display the blitzkrieg. I was praying for a complete and total victory.

But my girl wasn't at the table, just Angela and Ben. I looked over toward the pool tables to see if she'd watched with Emmett and Rose, but I couldn't find them either. "Where the fuck is she?" I asked, probably a lot more short than I should have been.

"Dude, calm down. She's probably still at the bar." Ben answered.

"Didn't anybody go check on her?"

"Rose and company did." Angela answered, a little too calmly and wrapped up in Mr. Cheney for my tolerance.

"Okay, but where are they? They're not over at the pool tables. Did they ever come back over here?" I was starting to get really impatient about then.

"No, but I'm sure that - " Ben started to say, but I quickly cut him off.

"Oh, come on, Ben. You two have been too engrossed in each other to be sure of anything at this point." I took a breath, because as soon as I'd spoken those words, I knew exactly just how jackassish I sounded. "Sorry, that was shitty of me. I'll just go to the bar."

Whirling around on my heel, I made my way to either find Bella or interrogate every fucker over there until I had answers. Luckily, it was the former as I saw that she was not only still _at_ the bar, no no…she was _on_ the mother fucking thing. All cross-legged and temptress-like, pure magnetism rolled into hot bombshell.

The provocative smile that adorned her face, accompanied with the beguiling glint in her eyes told me everything I needed to know. She started clapping like crazy when I approached and it took everything in me to beat back a bona fide Tiger fist pump. Jim Nantz might as well tell me I'd eagled that whole and given me the fucking ugly green jacket. I was the _master_.

"Ohmuh God Edward! That was so 'mazing!" She gushed, sort of breathlessly shouting, clearly full of excitement. It looked like she might hop right off the bar the way she was bouncing.

I stood in front of her just in case that happened to block her fall. I sure as hell didn't want gravity killing my moment here.

"You think so?" I asked to make sure my ears had heard her correctly. Alright, that was a lie. I knew they had. I just really wanted to her to keep gushing over me.

"Totally, Edward… I like… I din't know y'could play an sing! You're soooo greatoo." She purred, albeit a little slurredly, but that was alright. Her response was overwhelmingly positive, which made me feel even more triumphant.

"Well, I don't know if I would say great per se, but I didn't suck." I laughed at her animated compliment.

"Not e'en close to the neighborhood of suckin'." Bella smiled shaking her head.

"That's a relief," I exhaled and leaned on the bar next to her. She had stopped bobbing up and down for the moment, so my fear of her colliding with the floor had abated.

Fairly certain that she already had guessed, I wanted to make absolutely certain that she understood what tonight meant. Leaning down, I placed my lips right next to her ears and whispered, "It was all for you, Sweetness. Every single note was yours."

Was that over the line? Maybe. Did I care? Not even a little.

It was the first time that I'd called her that since Bella had revoked my privilege to do so. Of course, it was an atrociously ballsy move that involved huge risks, specifically being clocked across the jaw, but tonight was all about going big or going the fuck home. For both of us.

I pulled back enough to evaluate her expression and decipher whether this mister should give her three steps, or twenty for that matter. For far too fucking long, Bella sat there unreadable and stonefaced. I couldn't even tell by the movement of her chest whether her breath had quickened. So I braced myself for the anticipated, absolute worst...

What I was in no way prepared for was the unexpected, miraculous best...

In a lightening fast jerk of her arm, Bella grabbed me by the belt loop and dragged me closer to her. Spreading her delicious thighs (yet again) to accommodate the girth of my body, I found my over ecstatic pelvis flush with all that was right in my world. Her legs ensnared me, grinding us together. It literally felt as if she would seep right through me, my body having been liquidated.

There was no one else and there was nothing else that commanded and paralyzed my senses, except my Sweetness. In a welcome onslaught, she slammed my mouth against hers, urgent and fast. I didn't care that we knocked teeth or that she almost bit my tongue.

Surrounded by all things Bella, we were an entanglement of arms and an amalgamation of mouths. Flares shot across my nervous system as excitement and exhilaration stampeded roughshod through every cell of my body. How long had I waited to be in this very spot?

On the heels of such joy came a panic that maybe Bella might think twice about her advances. It would be just like her to overthink things and slam backwards in retreat. So my body reacted to the fear of something so precious being yanked away too soon; I pulled her to me as tight as possible, so that she couldn't escape.

Somewhere, through the revelry, my brain registered that this moment had to be slowed down and savored. Moving my hands down the plain of her back, I settled them on the swells of her hips, pressing her body inconceivably closer into my own. I slowed the expeditiousness of my mouth, and I could feel Bella doing the same. I couldn't be sure given the surrounding noises, but I thought I heard a subtle moan.

I squeezed; she clutched. I clung; she lingered.

Not wasting a second of my Utopian experience, I absorbed every palpable detail I could of our embrace and that kiss. The delicate floral smell of her perfume – I breathed as much of her in as I could. The softness of her body in my arms – pliable, yielding and still responsive to my touch after all this time – my grasp on the precipice of gluttony. Every nerve ending soaked up the familiar feel of these missed caresses.

And the taste…_oh my God_, the way she tasted.

I drank Bella in volumes, sucking in long pulls as I let my palette drown in her flavor. Sweet and delicious, my thirst for her only intensified the more I consumed. But there was an undercurrent of something more…something upon further examination that made me dissect this whole situation.

Alcohol.

The stoutness of liquor peeked past the sugar, and I remembered that she'd been back here for who knew how long. There was no telling just how much she'd slammed while unattended; I wondered just how hammered Bella truly was at that moment. My guess was a lot.

Rather than abruptly ending our exchange, I slowed it, the kiss morphing from consuming to chaste. I regressed enough so that I could look at her closely, so I could gage the glaze of her eyes for myself.

_Holy shit... she's fucking tanked. _

_Fuck me, isn't that just perfect?_

Murphy with his fucking laws. The son of a bitch should have his ass beaten. It would figure that just as things seemingly fell into place, the fact that Bella was three sheets to the damn wind would explain her brash behavior. The incredible feeling of excitement quickly transformed into one of frustration. Not at her, but just the situation in general. Somehow, it was simultaneously nerve-wracking and funny that Bella felt the need to get all juiced up to make a move.

What happened next, I should have anticipated, but no amount of preparation could have readied me for the next sequence of events. The look on Bella's face went through a metamorphosis of varied expressions; it was almost impossible to keep up. As we broke apart, full on desire was what I found, completely in line with the look I was sporting.

Just then I heard a throat clear behind us and Angela say, "Seriously, you guys need to move this little show _off _the bar and get a room. Otherwise, you need to charge admission."

Bella, never taking her eyes off me, suddenly remembered that we were in a very public place in an extremely intimate position. Not that I cared much, fuck that shit was hot, but Bella was a different story. PDA was not really something she was into, especially over amorous PDA's, like this one. Which was precisely when the desire contorted into panic.

She didn't have to say "holy fuck what are we doing?" It was plastered all over her face.

"Bella, don't listen to them. It's okay."

I could feel her chest start to rise and fall against my own in a quickened tempo. I don't know how, but the faster she heaved, the wider her eyes got. Bella disentangled one of her hands from my hair and brought it around to cover her mouth.

"Sweetness, I'm telling you, _this_ is no big deal. I promise it's more than alright." I said giving her an encouraging smile. Encouraging in that I meant what I said, but also that I really wanted her to do it again. And again. And again.

But my reassurances did nothing, because Bella slowly began to shake her head. Then she started to mumble something from behind her hand that I couldn't decipher. I tried to move it so I could understand her, but she refused, not allowing me to pull it away from her face.

Bella swallowed thickly, her eyes rolling back in her head for a few seconds, and I couldn't imagine what the hell was going on. I mean sure, our bartop mugdown might have been a little inappropriate, but not to the extreme that would incite utter mortification.

She moved her hand just enough that her mouth only partially showed. "Ed...Ed-Edward, I th-think I'm g-gonna be..."

Clamping her hand tight over her mouth with a "BLMMMPH!", Bella bounded off the bar faster than I'd ever seen her move before, somehow landing on her feet and not her ass. I watched her run to the back toward the restrooms, sideswiping a table here and a chair there. Angela bellowed an "Awww shit!" as she darted after her. Ben and I followed close behind to see what the hell was wrong, even though I had a pretty good idea.

Not more than three seconds after Angela disappeared behind the bathroom door, my ears were assaulted with perhaps the most God-awful sound in audible memory.

_Hua-hua-huaaaaaaaaaa! Hua-hua-huaaaaaaaaaaaa!_

"Oh man, that does not sound good at all." Ben said, with a shake of his head.

"I don't even want to imagine the spinning head and flying split pea soup that's happening in there." The repeating sounds of Bella most assuredly puking up everything in her system right then indicated she was as sick as I'd ever heard another soul. And that was really saying something coming from the kid brother of Emmett Cullen and former frat boy.

"I might have a crucifix in the car, but I don't know if I can find a couple of priests on such short notice, dude."

_Hua-hua-huaaaaaaaaaaaa!_

"I'm thinking it would take half the Vatican to exercise that mess judging by the sounds of it." I said. "Might even take the Pope."

I stood as close as possible to the door, my palms supporting my weight against the frame. God forbid some chick was to come out of the ladies room. She would have gotten the living shit scared out of her.

Finally, after His Holiness knows how many heaves, the hurl-a-thon subsided. I heard water running and prayed that the worst was over. Angela cracked the door open to let us know that Bella was going to be okay, but that we should probably call it a night. She said she wanted to keep Bella in the bathroom to make sure there were no more episodes for a few more minutes.

Rather than stand around with my thumb up my ass, I decided to go to the bar and find out what the fuck Bella had downed while we'd been here. As politely as possible, I asked that bartender guy to tell me what Bella had ordered throughout the course of the night. When he handed me the print out of her tab, I about flipped my shit.

No fucking wonder Bella was yacking up her spleen in there. Aside from the Red Headed Slut, Cockteaser and Jack and Gingers, she'd had a mishmash of shots that I had no clue what the hell was in them. I'd never heard of a Dirty Whore or Sweet Bliss, and a Feeling Lucky, by name alone, made me nervous.

"Excuse me," I waved at the dude, "mind telling me what's in a couple of these shots? I'm not familiar with 'em and the young lady that was sitting on the bar just now - "

"You mean the brunette you were about to swallow whole?" He grinned at me, not at all mad, merely giving me a hard time.

"Uh, yeah, that's the one. She's pretty sick, and I want to see if maybe one didn't agree with her."

"No problem." The bartender, Sam, was very accommodating. The only one that gave me pause for concern was the Feeling Lucky because it had 151 in it, totally lethal shit. But still, Bella had only had one; I just couldn't see her being _that _sick from one shot of strong Rum. And then I remembered what she'd ingested before we even got to the bar.

"Oh, fuck, I forgot about the Valerian root." I said to myself, but loud enough that he clearly heard.

"Wait, she had Valerian root tonight, too? That mess can make her sicker than a dog if she took too much, and her mixing it with all the alcohol only made it worse."

"Of course it did. Bella doesn't ever do anything half way." I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. "Thanks for your help, man. Would you mind tabbing her out and putting it on my card instead of hers? I really appreciate it."

Ben asked if he could go ahead and close out his tab as well. Sam nodded, taking both of our cards and headed to the register to settle our bills. It was clear that this night was drawing to a close, and sadly not in the way that I'd hoped.

I turned toward the direction of the restrooms to see if the girls had come out just in time to see them approach us at the bar. Bella was walking in front, but only because Angela clearly had to steady her by the arms from the back. Truly, Bella looked like she'd gotten cross with a semi and lost.

Ang stopped Bella in front of me, sort of handing her off, as it were. I gripped and steadied her by the shoulders so she didn't lose her balance. Her equilibrium was for shit given all the toxins that were in her system. Once Angela was sure that I had Bella secure, she went back over to Ben.

"Hey there, Smalls, how ya feelin'?" I thought better of calling her 'Sweetness'. I wasn't sure of her temperament in her less than stellar shape.

"Ughhhh." She groaned her voice a little raspy. Under different circumstances, that would have been arousing as hell. I felt her body slightly sway from side to side, and I tightened my grip to make sure she didn't go down.

Bella gazed up at me, all squinty-eyed and contorted-faced, and in the most pitiful tone I'd ever heard, she asked, "Do I have puke in my hair?"

She looked like she was about to cry; it took everything in me not to piss myself laughing. As sad and miserable as she looked, it was funny at the same time. Bella's appearance was utterly discombobulated and she looked nothing like the bartop temptress of fifteen minutes ago.

"Not that I can tell, Champ."

"Oh, that's good. I didn't get barf on my shoes either." She was obviously proud of herself and managed to smile at her accomplishment.

"Why do you think I followed you into the bathroom, Swan? Those are one of _my_ favorite pairs of Dolces, sister. I wasn't about to let you desecrate them." Angela retorted as she and Ben walked over.

"Riiight. So nice to know how much I'm valued, Weber."

"We all know you're priceless, Smalls," I reassured her with a chuckle, "and I'm going to make sure that you get home safe and sound." As badly as I wanted to resume calling her 'Sweetness', it just didn't feel right as tanked as she was. It would be like taking advantage of her in some weird way. Smalls was more appropriate anyway, because sweet Christ was she ever killing me.

"You are?" Bella questioned, the tinge of joy unmasked in her tone with the knowledge that I was her ride home instead of her best friend.

I nodded, perhaps putting Angela on the spot with my change-up in riding assignments. Luckily, she didn't seem to mind in the least. More than likely, she was only too happy to spend as much time with Ben as possible. I got the impression that neither of them were really ready for their night to end.

As we started to leave, Bella wobbled to a stop and looked around the place. "Hey, way a minute, we're missin' peoples. Where's Rose an tha girl?"

I gave my own cursory glance, thinking that maybe Bella was too blitzed and maybe missed the rest of our group. She hadn't and suddenly another realization hit me smack over the head.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "but I'm wondering the same thing about Emmett."

O~O~O~O~O~O

The drive back to Bella's apartment was interesting to say the least. Somewhere between leaving the bar and walking through her front door, she managed to get a second wind. I decided a quick drive by Mickey D's for a cup of coffee might help her status. That was the only place open whose joe wasn't complete dreggery.

Whether it was the caffeine or the fresh night air, I'll never know, but Bella had literally gone from the verge of passing the fuck out to hanging out the moon roof of my Rover, 'woot-woots' and all. She was clearly still intoxicated, just no longer sick. What I had on my hands was a classic case of 'puke and rally'.

By the time we made it back to her apartment, Bella was mutilating the theme song to 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air', the added beat box a particularly nice touch. At least she was able to get to her door of her own volition. Adding comic gold to the situation while I tried to unlock her door, she busted out with some sort of backwards-skip-chicken-flap dance. That made my task decidedly harder as I fought not only her keys, but the hysterical laughter that threatened to disengage cartilage from my ribcage. She would later admit, very hesitantly, that it was supposed to be the Roger Rabbit.

Once inside, I made sure she was up for that task of getting herself slumber readied. Not that the Horny Bastard wasn't all about offered assistance, he was more than up for the task; go on ahead with the lame fucking pun. But the Gentleman steadfastly objected because he knew while drunk Bella would be alright with such self-serving charity, sober Bella would be level five pissed.

So, while Bella went into her room to change, I took the liberty of grabbing a water bottle from the fridge accompanied by the Advil in the cupboard. She was going to need both in large quantities to combat the head explosion that was in all likelihood in her not-too-distant future.

It was a good sign that she'd kept the barely above par java down thus far, but all bets were off as to whether Bella was truly past getting sick. That notion sparked my ingrained worry where she was concerned to get the better of me. What if she started heaving again? Even worse, what if she became ill and didn't wake up? No, I would not leave her to asphyxiate on her own bile.

Deciding that it just wasn't safe to leave her alone in such a condition, we were having a sleepover whether Bella liked it or not. My gym bag was in my car, so that solved the quandary of a change of clothes for me. Boy Scout habits apparently die hard.

I rummaged around her kitchen to look for possible breakfast options. Not that she would have much of an appetite, but it was still important she had sustenance. _Someone_ had to take care of Bella and ensure she had some sort of nutritional caloric intake tomorrow. Yes, my presence was also clearly warranted to stave of imminent dehydration.

While perusing the stock in her pantry to see precisely what I had to work with, I found the coffee maker I'd bought her so many months ago shoved in the corner. At first, I was a little hurt that she hadn't even taken it out of the box. But the more I thought about it, I understood why. That was the first gift I'd ever given her; it represented taking a major step for both of us in our relationship at the time. Any liquid dispensed from that machine would have only tasted bitter.

I knew once Bella sobered up, there was going to be one hell of a conversation to be had about what had transpired. She was almost certainly going to try to avoid such a discussion, but I wasn't letting her off that easily. I had to hear for myself the impetus behind her behavior. Not that I minded one bit that epic make out session on the bar; that shit was hot. I just preferred that she not need to be hammered to initiate that type of contact.

Perhaps there was merit in the old saying 'a drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts'. If that were true (and I was praying to the Almighty that it was), then maybe Bella was ready to drop the friends act and just be honest with herself. Then we could get back to being us and move forward.

An errant thought struck me that it might make her happy if I set the coffee maker up for her tomorrow. These weren't the ideal circumstances for an overnighter, but I was in no position to be so discerning. Bella needed me whether she realized it or not, and tomorrow we could sort things out with an inaugural cup of go juice. Here was to fresh starts over fresh brew.

Unsure as to how long she'd been in her bathroom, I decided that Bella should have been squared away. I had no clue how long my musings regarding thwarted dehydration and unused gifts with subliminal meanings had kept me busy. Picking up the water bottle and Advil, I made my way to Bella's room to make sure she wasn't praising the porcelain god.

For the I-don't-know-whatteenth time that night, she left me completely and utterly fucking stunned. Not even the most steadfast member of Troop number 802 could have been Scout-ready for the sight that assaulted my eyes. I stopped forward motion beside the foot of her bed for the simple fact that my legs would not move.

There, as plain as the Running Man, was Bella in some short fucking shorts and a tank top that mocked me where I stood. Who was a strip of fucking cotton to tell me 'can't touch this'? _Couldn't_ didn't have rat's ass to do with anything; the problem was that I really fucking _shouldn't_. It didn't take an Ivy League scholar to conclude taking advantage of the situation _wouldn't_ be cool. The Gentleman was really being tested tonight, which made the Horny Bastard want to cheat like hell.

_Curse you rappers of the 90's with your gold chains and fly-away pants. Damn you to hell for coining a phrase that would ultimately be used to bail yourself out of bankruptcy by allowing the use of said phrase on such a fucking sinful garment. A Commandment-breaking piss poor excuse for a garment at that. I hope it was fucking worth it, you tool. Pun sure as hell intended._

"Hey, you," Bella said softly, one corner of her mouth barely upturned. Crazy, as in not really at all, how every last bit of air vacated my chest cavity in a sudden whoosh. "Whatcha got there, guitar man?"

"Hey… I uh... umm, yeah, I'm worried that you're going to have a mother-bitch of a hangover tomorrow. So, I'm thinking you should take some Advil and hit the water pretty hard."

"Awww, thasso sweet you're worried 'bout me Professor." Naturally because I wanted her to do anything but, Bella swayed those hips that I definitely shouldn't grab in my direction. Stopping about four inches away from our bodies being flush, she coyly tilted her head and added, "I'd rather hit somethin' else pretty hard."

_Now that was just not fucking fair. I need her to just take these meds and pass the fuck out already._

Complete with a cleared throat I somehow spit out, "Uh huh, why don't you just worry about being a good little patient and take these, okay?"

She nodded and I handed her the water bottle. Opening the medicine, I took out two pills and passed them to her. Once Bella had finished, she tossed the capped water bottle on the bed. "See, I know how ta be good. Happy now?"

"Very much so, thank you. Now I think we should get you to bed."

"I agree withat one million percent."

The next thing I knew, the bottle of pain medicine was knocked out of my hand about a millisecond before I was being turned and knocked the hell backwards on the bed. The words 'what the hell' were swallowed whole by Bella's mouth on mine as I found my body smothered by her own, my arms pinned beside my head.

_I. Am. So. Screwed. And not in a good way either._

"Mmmm…Bel…Mmmm…B-Bella…wh-" I tried and failed miserably at getting her to stop for half a second before she did something I knew she would regret in the morning. From this position (not that it didn't feel fucking amazing with Bella straddling my dick) there was no way for me to look like anything but an asshole in the light of day.

"Shhhhh," she whispered, her kisses waltzing a path from my jaw to my neck. "Jus relax an' go with it."

Good sense dissipated with every pass of her lips against my skin; the fight in me had almost done the same as she guided my hands from their raised position above my head to her hips. The very ones that I swore I would not grip. But I did, and the Horny Bastard within turned me into a fucking liar.

Somewhere inside though, almost bound and gagged in the basement of integrity, the Gentleman struggled against the restraints of her body, begging me to remember what was right. _She's toasted_ he reminded me; _it's not her, it's the booze _he warned, a little threateningly I might add.

Foolishly thinking that I'd found the strength to disentangle myself from her delicious manhandling, Bella chose that very moment to dial up the tension on a situation that did not need to be escalated. I felt her push the very-thinly-cotton-covered-object-of-my-damnation against the ever-growing-denim-concealed-appendage in my pants. Oh yeah, Pancho was awake and ready to get down to business.

Thrust. Squeeze. So much pressure.

_Motherfuck this feels so good, but it's also so bad. You know better than this; you are not the sober guy that lets the drunk girl get you off. She will fucking hate you for it tomorrow. Get a hold of yourself for Christ sake!_

Press. Grab. Feel too much.

_What happens when you tell her no? What then, dude? I'll tell you what asshole. She'll feel rejected and hurt. There will be an all-out sprint as far away from you like you would not believe. She will fucking hate you for it right now. Can you really stand to wound her like that?_

Grind. Crush. More force. Need more.

_It's right. It's wrong. Keep going. You have to stop. Bella wants it; she started it remember? But she's blitzed. You're not. Permission. Forgiveness. _

Bella moaned. I grunted. She panted. I growled. With every contraction and release, I felt things get more out of control. I was battling myself, the war between moral and reprehensible raged in a never ending circle. Kicking my own ass was getting me nowhere.

Or everywhere depending on you looked at it because while the diatribe ran wild in my head, stirrings were running wild elsewhere. And then it was all a moot point anyway.

_Ooops. _

I'd made a mess of things figuratively, and fucking literally. In specific, my pants. The mortification of my blown load bashed the high of my accidental orgasm. I was suddenly filled with an awkwardness I hadn't felt since my mom caught me whacking it to Em's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue when I was thirteen.

Added to my embarrassment was the despicable question of whether or not Bella had gotten off. I mean, she had squeaked a little there at the end, but how scum-filled was I to even debate that shit? I needed to change the direction of the scenario stat. And my pants while I was at it.

I gently pulled Bella back far enough so I could see her face. Fire and passion were all I could find and in the pit of my stomach I sensed that she wasn't any where done with me, even though I was for all intents and purposes, finished. _Son of a bitch. _My only saving grace was that she was too far gone to have realized what had happened.

"Why are you stopping? I want you Edward. I want _this_."

"Because I want less restrictive clothes. Let me go get my gym bag out of my car so I can change, okay?" I offered, hoping like hell that would get me out of Dodge. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was so plastered there was no way she could truly know what she wanted.

"How 'bout no clothes? I like that way better."

"Let's just slow down for a second." I rolled her off of me in as easy a fashion as possible. Pulling one side of the covers back, I patted the bed gesturing for her to get underneath. "Just settle in right here and get comfortable. I'll be back in no time."

"Don't keep me waiting too long. There's a spot here with your name on it." Bella yawned and smiled. Her heavy eyelids were trying desperately to stay open, but I knew in no time she would succumb to sleep.

Once changed, I grabbed a quilt from the closet. The only way I could handle sharing a bed with her without making a bigger ass of myself was on top of the covers. Exhausted and welcoming rest, I vowed the next time that Bella declared she wanted me, she would be in complete control of all her faculties. No more drunken foreplay.

I also decided that once again I would follow her lead regarding our encounter. It was too dicey of an issue to press her. I couldn't chance her running away from me altogether. Before I drifted off myself, I thought of the direction we might or might not be headed. Whatever my uncertainties were, one thing I was certain of was my rightful place to the woman next to me. All that was left was for her to be certain of the very same thing.

* * *

**A/N:** Shello loverlies, good to see y'all again! Humble thanks to you for being so awesomely patient.

As always, many a merci to my pre-readers of splendiferousness **HookaShewz, lisamichelle17, lolapop **and **RoseArcadia. **They are my Crew of Calm and they make me happier than a pig in shit. Gracias galore to the kickassest beta ever, **Stratan**. Super Beta Dude is 100% pure awesomeness. I would be even more of a hot mess if not for him.

Gropes to **KylaPricky **for letting me use "tits up" – 100 Monkeys don't know what they were missing not making that one a song. Oh well, we tried to tell them back in December.

Of course, I want to make out with every last one of you that encourage my silliness and allow me to take up your time. It still floors me that you've stuck with me this long and your patience is priceless. C'mere and lemme give you a little kiss.

And now, if you'll extend me a courtesy, I wanna add something super quick...

Speaking of my lovely pre-reader **RoseArcadia**, we all know that she is the Blinkie-Queen-Extraordinaire. Most of us get our crack recs from her and visit her blog with regularity. You might be an author (or in my case someone who farts around) that she's made a blinkie for; or perhaps you're an avid reader who has snagged one of her creations for your siggie on the Twithreads. Either way, have you ever thought to yourself, "man I sure wish I could buy her a beer to say thanks"? Well, unless you plan on flying to extreme South Texas, here's your chance to do a little something for her. Our beloved Rose wants to go to Comic Con in the worst way, but just doesn't have the Presidential flash cards to make that happen. If you wanted to help her out with some spare change, there is a handy dandy donate button on her blog. It would be super awesome and totally kickass if you want to particpate! http:/rosearcadia(dot)blogspot(dot)com/?zx=11b03b333d699aac.

I twitter too damn much, so if you do too, come say hey. Or tell me cut the shit and focus. Either one works for me! http:/twitter(dot)com/stephk0525

Until next time, I'm in the pantry with a case of club crackers, about fifty-seven wheels of Laughing Cow cheese and a huge ass box of fruit roll ups. Let's party.


	15. Chapter 15 Shut Up and Drive

**Disclaimer: You know what this is rated. You know who I am and who I'm not. You also know none of the blueprint is mine; I just like to do silly things with it.**

**A/N #1: *peeks out from hidey hole* Hey guys. I know it's been a while. If you're still with me, I'm amazed and humbled and want to nom your face. My mojo joined WITSEC and it took me a little (okay a lot) of time to track it down. There were also some rough patches to navigate personally, so my apologies for the wait and infinite thanks for your patience. I'll just do a quick recap in twenty seconds or less of the last chapter – you can time me: a serenade from Spingod, a shitload of booze, a bartop makeout session, a major puke and rally and an accidental dryhump. And now, back to your regularly scheduled program. See you below.**

**CH 15 – Shut Up and Drive**

**EPOV**

"We just got back from getting x-rays," I told my father over the phone, a whole lot perturbed at hospital protocol. I'd been around the U-dub medical center a million times over and was well aware of the rules. Shit even being on a first name basis with the docs did me no good; these white coats still wouldn't tell me a damn thing. "You know as well as I do that radiology isn't going to give a preliminary opinion. Everybody has to read the report and then Dr. Gerandy will come give us the word." I audibly sighed in frustration because even I knew her wrist was fractured. Fuck, I heard the thing snap myself.

"Of course her not being my patient doesn't get us anywhere. How much pain does Bella appear to be in?" he asked. Carlisle understood that Bella downplayed situations like this because she didn't want to inconvenience anyone, but I could tell by the way she gingerly cradled her wrist that she was way beyond discomfort. The winces when she moved it might have been small, but they were very telling to me.

"Quite a bit if I'm reading things correctly." I was becoming somewhat of a pro at reading her "tells" as I liked to call them. Or most of them anyway.

"Mmmm," my dad mused, "maybe I should talk to her about following doctor's orders. It's an unwritten rule that those in the medical field are more often than not the worst patients."

"Right, because we all know how well she follows advice." Oh yeah, there was double meaning in that declarative. I had to choke back a laugh when Bella absentmindedly raised her injured hand to reprimand me. She damn near bit her tongue off in trying not to yell. That would've only further reiterated the extent of her pain.

"How well you know her, son. I suppose I'll just have to play the boss card."

"You have my full support on that one, sir. Hold on, I'll put Bella on the phone." I covered the speaker and held the phone to my chest. "Your boss would like a word with you."

"Why? Am I in trouble?"

"Only if you don't listen. Just agree with everything he says. That's what I do."

"Yeah, but I know you. You placate him and then do your own thing. You rarely ever follow his advice." Bella quipped as she snorted and rolled her eyes. For the most part, that was a true statement.

"Except when it's _really important_. And trust me, this falls under that heading."

"Fine, fine." She muttered, very delicately placing her injured wrist in her lap. Unable to avoid the inevitable, she took my phone so Dr. Bossman could tell her what she was going to be none too excited to hear.

I took a seat in one of those ass-numbing chairs across from the gurney Bella was sitting on. This was going to be some serious entertainment.

As I sat there watching Bella close her eyes while she head-nodded and "mmhmmd", I started replaying the events of the past week. Things had been a little, okay a lot, tentative since the 'sleepover-that-shall-not-be-discussed'. At one point, I almost wondered if I hadn't dreamed the whole thing up.

The head-splitting hangover Bella had the next morning was at least some proof of the night of debauchery. Aside from her admitting the mockery of Will Smith and the crazy ass dancing, not much else was discussed. In fact, she pretty much issued a blanket apology for her behavior with the addendum that the events really didn't need to be rehashed. And that was that. Once Bella made up her mind, there was really no changing it.

Unfortunately for me, I was still left with questions. All I could hope for was that one day soon, she would explain to me what she remembered from that night, and more importantly, why she needed all the liquid courage in the first place.

The week flew by as I was dealing with finals, while Bella was making plans to go see her dad the upcoming weekend for Memorial Day. She was supposed to be leaving the next morning, and I just had to spend some time with her before she left. I had a baseball game to play in the night before her departure and we were down a female player on the co-ed team. So, I proposed she fill in. Not the best thing I've ever pulled from my suggestion box, but shit, I was trying to kill two birds with one stone. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that Bella and organized sports did not a great match make.

"Yes Dr. Cullen. I know, you're right. But - " I could tell that my dad was in full lecture mode. There was no way her protests were going to see the light of day. And that made me smile. _Score one for Dr. Dad._

Her quiet told me all I needed to know. Whatever advice, or implied orders as it were, my dad had given her, she was begrudgingly going along with them. And from the look on her face, not very happily either.

She held my phone out for me to take with her good hand. I knew it was bad when she refused to even look at me.

"Is my dad still there?" I asked, taking it from her.

"No, he hung up." Bella's tone was so dead-panned; I couldn't remember her sounding this defeated before. If deep down I didn't know whatever my dad said was in her best interest, I'd of almost felt sorry for her.

"Well? What did he say?"

Instead of answering me straight, Bella tore into me with a litany of accusations that were maybe not entirely unfounded. "Why in the hell did you have me bat in the first place? Isn't there a rule about a DH or something? And why didn't you stop me from trying to steal home? You're supposed to be the baseball aficionado here."

"Are you kidding me right now?" For the life of me, I couldn't understand where this was coming from. "What do you mean 'why didn't I stop you'? Did you not see my outstretched arms all up in the 'whoa' position? You're the one that decided to go all Dottie Henson and bumrush home plate, Bella."

"Wait, you've seen A League of Their Own?" She asked, her demeanor switching from reprimanding to surprise, all in the span of about five seconds. Bella was all over the map, another good indicator that she was ticked off.

"Well, yeah. I've seen every baseball movie ever made. Even the one about chicks." Before she could get pissed about my pseudo-misogynistic slam, I immediately cut her off and stopped the derailment of our conversation. "And stop changing the subject. What did my dad say?"

"I can't…I'm not supposed to drive. Not with pain meds and a splint or whatever."

"Oh." I said.

_Oh. Oh…ohhh! Her trip to Forks._

_"_Yeah, oh. I guess I'll have to call Charlie and cancel. Sucks because I haven't seen him since Christmas." The disappointment was so damn thick in her voice. As badly as I didn't want her to go, I couldn't stand seeing her so upset. Especially not when I could do something about it.

"You don't have to you know." Bella looked at me for the first time since taking the call from Carlisle. "Cancel I mean," I clarified just in case she didn't see what I was getting at.

"I can't drive Edward, my boss said so."

"Well, I can, champ. I'll be happy to drive you and be your personal chauffeur for the next three days. Lucky for you, I kinda like you."

...

...

The next morning found Bella and I on the I-5 on our first road trip adventure. I didn't care that it was to some small-ass town named after an eating utensil. I was just pumped to be spending so much time with her.

The docs put Bella in a splint versus a cast, a wise decision in that it was the least restrictive. Mild pain relievers and anti-inflammatories were prescribed with the added instruction to only use the pain pills if necessary. I was even happier to be going with Bella now as I could ensure she actually took her medicine as directed.

Of course, she put up a fight when I insisted we take the Rover. Not that there was anything wrong with her Camry, but since I was going to be doing all the driving, I wanted to be in my own vehicle.

We were stocked with snacks, drinks and stellar driving tunes in preparation for the three-plus hour trek ahead of us. Bella was all good with her Vitamin Water and Cracker Jacks, an odd combination, but since when was she ever conventional? I had to laugh when she eyeballed my stash of beef jerky and Dr. Pepper. I told her if she behaved and didn't yell "are we there yet?" every five minutes, I'd share. That earned me a punch in the arm with her good hand, to which I replied that she was tempting fate in injuring that one as well.

I sent a quick praise to the gods of rock and roll that we had agreeable taste in music. Of course the Foo were ever present as I never went anywhere without Dave. I made sure Blink 182 was well represented because I knew they were her favorite; they had good shtick and catchy hooks so I was happy to oblige her. Even if she did have some weird thing for the bass player.

I'll admit, I'd hoped that we could discuss where things stood with us on the drive over. I figured I'd just gauge the situation and her mood before anything was brought up regarding our relationship. One thing was for sure, there was no way I was going to force the issue. There wasn't a meter in existence that would be able to measure the amount of suck were I to make her feel trapped. It would've made for a fucking uncomfortable weekend.

No, I needed to use the time to my advantage.

Luckily, Bella gave a brilliant dissertation in Surviving the Chief 101. As I listened to the do's and don'ts of Charlie Swan, I realized that some of the same basic principles could also be applied to his offspring. Bella always said that she was more like her dad than her mom.

For instance, she said that if Charlie gave you a "hey, slick", that was the equivalent of an open-armed greeting in his world. Admittedly, he was a man of few words. Bella told me not to be offended if he didn't have much to say to me. I should consider myself fortunate if I got a hundred words out of him all weekend.

And that was fine. I was going to make sure that they counted. Chief Swan maybe wouldn't have a lot to say, but I had plenty to ask. It was my goal to figure shit out with Bella, and I had a hunch that Charlie could be a useful ally. I'd won her closest friends over after all, why not him?

Of course, I wasn't sure exactly what Charlie knew about how things had been with Bella and me. Biting the bullet, I asked her what she'd told her dad about our history. And more importantly, would he be greeting me with a Sig Sauer or standard issue Glock upon arrival.

The mood in the car changed from light and playful to dense and serious with the utterance of a seemingly simple question. I assured her that I merely wanted to be prepared for any awkward behavior or pissed off looks. The man did carry a gun after all. Or guns, as the case may be.

Bella assured me that Charlie had been apprised of an abridged version of the situation. According to her, it was better that things were glossed over. Personally, I was all about whatever would keep my appendages affixed to the rest of my body. It was also really important that he like me. I was going to be a permanent fixture in his daughter's life; one with an improved rank in the extremely near future if I had my way about it.

She told me not to worry as she'd told the Chief that he better be nice because I was doing her a huge favor by driving her to see him. I know she felt that way, and true enough I was making it possible that she could go visit. But of course I had ulterior motives and this trip was going to be just as beneficial to me as it was her. Or that was the plan anyway.

All in all, the small town of Forks was a pleasant shock to my urban system. With a population of just over three-thousand, it was so different from Seattle. I liked the small town feel of the quaint diners and storefronts. No big buildings and miles of freeway. Just trees and green as far as the eye could see. It was peaceful and relaxing. Hopefully, this would be the first of many trips to Bella's hometown for me.

Before long, we were pulling up in the drive of a quaint white-board house. It was nice and kept up; although it was apparent there was a lack of feminine presence. What Esme wouldn't give to be turned loose on this place. By the time she was finished, it would totally look like the home and garden department of Home Depot had thrown up. My mother firmly believed that a quality knockout rosebush could improve anything.

The question as to whether or not the HMFIC (Head Mother Fucker in Charge, the official title I'd given him) was home was quickly answered as we both spotted his cruiser. Suddenly, the stab of fear and the upheaval of Dr. Pepper and beef jerky hit me like the nightstick of death I was certain belonged to one Charles Swan.

"You ready, Coach?" Bella asked me with a slightly impish smile. Something told me she was enjoying the impending introduction just a little too much.

"I was born ready, baby." I may have sounded like a cocky asshole but rest assured, my hands wanted to protect my nuts at that moment.

"Sure you are, _baby_," she said with a sneer, "that's what they all said."

God damn it anyway, I loved it when she called me on my bullshit. It kept me on my toes, that and the other forty-seven billion things that made up my Bella. And yes, she was still mine, whether or not she wanted to acknowledge that fact.

My internal confidence was given a much needed boost when Bella grabbed my hand and led me up the front steps. Conversely, it took an uppercut to the chin when she let go after we walked inside.

"Dad?" She called out from the small entryway. "We're here."

"Kitchen, Bells."

I followed her down the short path from the entryway to where the deep voice spoke. As we walked in to the sparse kitchen, the man, the, myth, the legend looked up from his newspaper and coozy-covered canned beverage. At first, his expression was pretty unreadable. His eyes darted between the two of us, but thanks be to certified peace officers everywhere, the Chief finally stood up.

Taking her in an all consuming hug, I saw Charlie take hold of his daughter and smile a genuine smile. He squeezed Bella tightly and told her softly, although loud enough that I could hear, "So glad you're home, kiddo. It's been too long for the old man."

"I know, Dad. For me, too." It was clear that neither one of them were much for overly dramatic homecomings. The embrace quickly broke and Bella turned toward me. "I'd like to introduce my driver for the weekend. This is Edward Cullen."

Maybe I was just a little overeager, but really, who could blame me? I didn't even wait for the man to speak; I just grabbed his hand and shook. The word-vomitous "Nice-to-meet-you-Mr. Chief Swan-sir-and-thank-you-for-having-me," shot out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

_Oh, well now wasn't that brilliant? Way to rock that first impression Cullen._

I couldn't have sounded anymore like Eddie-fucking-Haskell if I'd tried. My exuberance must have been entertaining to him because I thought a I saw a flicker of amusement behind his appraising stare. His face remained mostly blank as he released my grasp. "You too, Edward."

So, I'd had three words spoken to me and they weren't dead man walking; that was as good a sign as any. I could tell that all roads that lead to Bella had to be littered with bodies. Many a man (or boy as the case might be) had to have stood where I was and crumbled under "the look". The one that said no one is worthy of her. The one that said she is precious; you do her harm and I will end you. The one that said I'm the law and I know how to make a body disappear.

The silence seemed to drag on for an eternity, and I for one, had no clue how to end the awkward quiet. I couldn't be incriminated for shit if I kept my mouth firmly in the closed position. All I could do was smile and maintain some false sense of composure.

"Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we go to the living room so we can all sit down?" Bella finally said.

Sort of looking between father and daughter, I waited for Charlie to answer before I nodded in agreement. I really wasn't sure what the right answer was. All I knew is that I didn't want to piss off the dude with the ammo. He could've told me to go wait on the roof, and I would've done it just to placate the man and keep his firearm in its holster.

The Chief led the way suit to the living room. If I had a guess, I would say it hadn't changed much since Bella left home, save for the huge flat screen that appeared to be pretty new, everything looked comfortable and well lived in. I made a note to bring up the TV if conversation lagged. I had one a lot like it and could use that commonality to establish some sort of bond. Maybe. Fuck, I knew it was a reach, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Bella and I took the couch, while Charlie sat in his recliner. No doubt that chair had seen its share of televised sporting events. I knew we both shared a love of the great game; that would be my go-to topic number two if I needed to fill some sort of verbal void if the technology talk didn't hold. With any luck, the Big C was a Mariners fan. Carlisle had season tickets; maybe an invite would sway him over to my side.

"So here's what I want to know," Charlie started in, "since when do you play ball?"

"That's sort of a recent development, I guess." Bella replied a little chagrined, looking down at the splint on her arm.

"Uh-huh. Well, I guess some things don't change."

"No, I guess not." At least she laughed when she said it. I was just grateful that she didn't toss me under the bus. "But I've been doing really well at the batting cages, though. Edward's a good coach."

"Bella's being too nice. She's not as difficult of a student as you'd think."

"Are you sure we're talking about the same person? She's as stubborn as they come." The chief said wryly.

"Well, now that's true." I agreed.

"Hey! I'm sitting right here, you two. You better be nice, otherwise I'll just go talk to Jake. I know he loves me."

_Excuse me? Who the fuck is Jake? _

"Jake loves whoever is holding the food." Charlie contradicted as I battled the impulse to grab his pistol and hunt a fucker down.

"Who's Jake?" I asked as nonchalantly as possible given the fact that I was about to go fucking nuts. If there was some high-school-ex I was about to come face to face with...well, shit was about to get real.

"He's right over there, Edward," Bella said as she pointed over to a large fish tank in the corner of the living room. "Jake is Dad's pride and joy."

I got up and walked over to where she gestured and then it all suddenly made sense. Jake was a damn fish. To think that I almost lost it over a stupid pet... that Charlie just happened to treasure. Crisis avoided, thank Neptune. Or Poseidon. Whatever.

"Oh yeah? Where is the little dude anyway? Is he hiding?" I figured a quick way to earn some style points was to at least talk up the guy's beloved pet.

"He tends to burrow at the back of the tank sometimes. And little isn't really the right word to describe Jake." Bella snorted.

Then, as if the thing had ears or some shit, there was movement behind the fake sea plants, and out swam the most heinous piece of domesticated game I'd ever seen. Long and grey with creepy eyes that bulged right out of its head, that fish was one nasty mess of sea life. Much like that scene in Predator, the phrase "you're one ugly muddah fucka" was on the tip of my tongue.

"The fuck is that?" I muttered, but unfortunately not just to myself. My filter was only partially functioning it seemed. That unfortunate happenstance could have very well ended up costing me my balls, so I scrambled to do damage control. "Sorry, no disrespect, sir, but what kind of fish is that? I've never seen one before."

"Jake's a pike cichlid. Caught him down at First Beach over in La Push about ten years ago."

"He wasn't supposed to get that big, or at least that's what they told Dad anyway."

"No kidding? Did you feed him anything special?" I asked, eyeing the creature, who unless I was completely insane was giving me the once over too.

"Bella's old boyfriends."

I looked over at the chief sitting all kicked back in his lazy boy waiting for him to chuckle, maybe grin; at the very least I would've settled for an, "I'm just fuckin' with you." But nothing. Nada. Zilch. Just "the look".

I turned back to the tank, my face mere inches from the glass to once again marvel at the sheer hideousness of the beast when suddenly..._WHAM! _The fucker swam straight at me and head butted the barrier between us with all his might.

_What in the ever-loving fuck? _

Flinching as I stumbled backwards, I hit the end table behind me because let's face it, I was not prepared for a psychotic monster with gills who didn't seem to care for me. I looked to Bella first, who had a somewhat stunned look on her face. I'm not sure I actually vocalized the word "what", but my dumfoundedness was effectively communicated. All she could do was shrug and shake her head.

Charlie's expression was altogether different. I very definitely saw a grin behind the 'stache. There was no question the humor he saw in the situation. Without missing a beat, he looked me square in the eyes and said, "Looks like he's hungry."

"Oh, stop it, Dad. I told you to behave."

"Come on Bells, Edward knows I'm kidding, don't you?"

"Pffft, of course I do, sir." I chuckled, albeit in piss-poor fashion.

I took my seat next to Bella, turning my attention back over to Jake. Bastard had gone back behind the plants again to where I couldn't see him. Insane as it might sound, I had a feeling the fucker was leering at me from his hiding place. Probably thought he ran me off, the son of a bitch. Well, he had no idea just who he was dealing with.

Bella and Charlie settled in to playing catch up, while I mostly just sat and listened. I interjected where possible in an attempt to actively participate. I sure as hell didn't want to sit there like a pathetic lump.

With dinnertime looming, it was decided that food might be in order. Apparently there wasn't much in the house, an occurrence that didn't seem to shock Bella in the least. We offered to go grocery shopping for Charlie and then meet up with him later at a local coffee shop he liked to frequent.

Bella excused herself to go change and freshen up. She leaned over and whispered, "Don't worry, pumpkin. You'll be just fine." I nodded not so much in agreement as in hopeful trepidation. Watching her ascend the staircase, I ran down the list of safe topics I'd been compiling in my head.

"So, uh, how do you like the flat screen Mr. Swan? I have one a lot like it."

"It's a good TV."

I waited for him to expound upon his thoughts. Good fucking thing I wasn't holding my breath. I completely panicked when the ticks of the old clock on the mantle got louder with each passing beat.

"Bet it makes you feel like you're right there at Safeco watching the Mariners, yeah?" I blurted out. Shittyfoulpissballs! I'd gone and blown my fucking load in less than twenty seconds. Now I had nothing left in the bag. _Awesome_.

"I guess so. Never been to a game."

"Well, my dad has season tickets." I replied eagerly. Maybe this would save this conversation of doom. "If you could clear your schedule, it'd be great for you to come see them play. Nothing like a day at the ballpark."

He eyed me skeptically for a moment. I'm sure the super-cop in him was sniffing out the bribe in my offer. And while I couldn't deny my motive for the invite was in part to kiss ass, I also knew he'd have a great time. There was also more than just the upside of seeing a game live for him to consider.

"Plus, I know Bella would really enjoy having you visit. I think it would be a lot of fun. You, Bella, me and my dad hanging out. You know - dogs, beers, the works."

"I'll see what I can do. I would like to meet Dr. Cullen and thank him properly for being so good to Bella. It took a lot of stress off me when she started working decent hours."

"Well, I know Carlisle would be really happy to meet you too, sir. It's no secret, my father pretty much thinks the sun rises and sets with Bella." The serious law enforcer's expression absolutely melted before me. Overwhelming pride simply beamed from his face and I couldn't resist the chance to speak more freely now that his defenses seemed to be temporarily down. "For what it's worth sir, so do I."

"Hmm," he responded, his eyes quickly narrowing in a foreboding sort of way. Before he could comment further, his cell rang. Funny enough, his ringtone was 'Iron Fist'. Then again, maybe not so funny. Figures he'd be into Motorhead. "Excuse me Edward, it's the station. I need to take this."

I nodded as Charlie got out of his chair and went into the kitchen. About ten thousand things ran through my mind because I was clueless as to how the Chief was about to respond to my statement. Not knowing exactly what he knew made it somewhat complicated to plead my case. I didn't want to give away too much, but on the flipside I wanted to make sure I said enough. If nothing else, Charlie had to know how important Bella was to me.

And even though the man hadn't said a whole hell of a lot to me, at least he hadn't verbally threatened my life. That was an overwhelming positive in my favor. I would take it any day of the week and twice on Sunday. I was in the midst of giving myself a mental "you can dooo eeeet" when Charlie walked back into the living room. Only he didn't sit back down in his lazy boy.

"Sorry about that, Edward."

"No problem, sir. Is everything alright?"

"Just an issue at the station that needs handling. I should be able to meet up with you kids at the diner in a couple of hours."

"Oh, okay then." I was an entanglement of dueling emotions. On one hand, I wanted to have a pow-wow and let him know exactly where I was coming from. Then there was the other part of me that wanted to be more prepared, have a better read on the man.

"Before I go," he started by clearing his throat, "I want to address your last comment."

Bobbleheading in response because the words wouldn't form, my stomach lurched. This could either be really, really good or really, really bad.

"I don't know everything about everything regarding you two, but I know enough. You're either incredibly determined and serious about my daughter or you're not too bright. Bella's mind isn't easily changed."

"I know sir, but - " my voice halted the second Charlie raised his hand.

"Let me finish. It says a lot to me that you've played this thing by her rules. Bella's got quite a bit of her old man in her, and that's not always a good thing. So for what it's worth, hang in there."

"That's my plan, sir. And thanks for the encouragement; it really means a lot." I almost did a double-take. Did I hear him correctly? It would have been about eighty-seven levels of wrong, but I kind of wanted to bear hug the man.

"Don't mention it. Will you let Bells know what's going on for me?"

"Absolutely, sir. No problem."

The Chief picked up his keys and what not from a bowl on the coffee table. As he headed toward the door, he turned and said, "Let's lose the 'sir' business. Charlie will do."

"Yes si-Charlie. See you later."

Hot damn! That couldn't have gone any better than if I'd scripted the whole thing out myself. Surely the "hang in there" was Charlie-speak for "you have my blessing". It had to be and suddenly I was feeling pretty fucking invincible. Which meant that I was celebratory fist-pumping all over the living room and I didn't care who saw me. Not even that fucker Jake.

Speaking of the glorified guppy, I spun around toward his tank to find that he'd come out of his hiding spot. My swagger couldn't be contained and I had to brag to someone, or thing as it were. So I strutted myself right on over in front of the glass.

"Did ya hear that Jake? Charlie gave me the green light! What do you think of that you slug?"

_WHAM! WHAM!_

His double head-butt to the glass indicated that he wasn't really on board. Like I gave a shit.

"Is that so, you nasty piece of shark bait?" I sneered, taunting the bastard without one ounce of shame.

_WHAM!_

"You stupid fucker... go ahead and give yourself a concussion. That'll just make it easier for me to fillet your dumb ass." I'll admit, I was poking at the tank now and purposefully egging him on. And the ignorant fish just kept on ramming the glass. "Come on you half-baked son-of-a-bitch! BOOYAH! Is that all you got? Watch me get Mrs. Paul's on the phone you fucktard!"

My chest was all bowed up when I suddenly heard a throat clear behind me. Completely lost in my aquatic harassment, I'd forgotten about Bella being upstairs. I could only imagine how the whole scene looked to her. I sheepishly cowered under her stare. Good thing she looked slightly amused.

"What is going on? Are you torturing Jake?" She looked around the room in search for her father. "Charlie will cut you up into tiny pieces if he sees you doing that."

"Well, he won't see because he left. Had to go take care of something at the station."

"Oh, okay. But why the hell are you posturing to a fish? Something you'd like to share?" She grinned at me. Under normal circumstances that would have worked, but not this time. This victory was private between me and Charlie.

"No. But in all fairness, he started it with the head ramming shit. I was just showing him who's boss."

"Riiight." Bella deadpanned, the look on her face told me she thought I was a total whack-job. "Anyway, I'm about ready to go to the store. I just need your assistance with something."

"All you have to do is ask, Smalls."

"I wasn't thinking about my battle wound when I packed," she said holding up her splinted hand. Walking over towards me, Bella slightly lifted up her shirt revealing her unbuttoned jeans. "Could I trouble you to button these for me please?"

_Oh god... this was just too easy._

Still all up on my high, I took hold of the fabric in a manner that suggested I would do as she'd asked. But I couldn't resist the opportunity to taunt her a little as well. I paused for a moment and bent down to whisper in her ear.

"Of course, but I'd much rather help you out of them."

Her breathing picked up, becoming somewhat louder and a little raspy in my ear. I knew she wasn't expecting that from me. Her lack of verbal reprimand suggested that maybe she didn't mind so much.

"Maybe later." I added with a not-so-quick kiss on the cheek. After fastening her jeans, I stepped away just enough to see her still wide-eyed and dumbfounded. Maybe I was being a little too hopeful, but the flush in her cheeks indicated she might be a little turned on too. _Check and mate._

"Uh... yeah... thanks for the hand." Before I could offer other ways I could be of service, Bella took off into the kitchen. "Alright then, let's get Charlie's fridge stocked. You ready?"

"Ready, willing and more than able ma'am." I winked because I'm a cocky ass and couldn't resist the urge to push the envelope just a little more.

As we headed out, I felt like things might be falling into place with Bella. Her dad was in my corner, or as much as he could be anyway. Inside I was reveling at the way things were going on the trip so far. Charlie had my back and I still had all my internal organs in working order. As far as I was concerned, there was no stopping me now.

* * *

And so it goes…I hope you liked Jake the fish because I giggled some while writing that part.

Huge props to the ladies with the suck-o-meters – **RoseArcadia, lola-pops, kbacon74 **and** lisamichelle17. **You guys are cooler than the other side of the pillow. Applause all around to the Beta Dude, **Stratan**. The IOU's to him are staggering at this point.

But the biggest debt I have is to you all that have been so patient and encouraging. Seriously, if you haven't flounced my ass then not only am I more grateful than words can say, but I'm also pretty fucking surprised. I want to make brownies and cookies for every last one of you.

Speaking of baked goods…I'm headed to the pantry. Honey buns for anyone that wants to join me.

I'm on the Twitter if you want to follow. Or holler. Or both. It's all good. http:/twitter(dot)com/stephk0525

Stay awesome and it's my goal to see you way sooner than six months from now.


	16. Chapter 16 Walk

**Disclaimer: You know the drill by now. I say fuck a lot and have the sense of humor of a teenage boy. I am not **_**the**_** woman, but rather a chick with the same name. I sure do get a kick out of trickin' up her stuff though.**

**Also, I do solemnly swear that this chapter was not written under the influence of pharmaceutical substances. However, the same cannot be said for the yummy goodness of Ace's Pear Cider. See you down below.**

**Ch 16 Walk**

**EPOV**

I was all tied up in knots. _Literally. _My feet were bound; my hands tied at the wrist behind my back and no matter how I struggled, I couldn't move. The first order of business was to figure out _where_ the fuck I was, then _how_ the fuck I got there.

Trying to get a read on my surroundings, I realized I was enclosed by mint green plastic walls. They didn't extend all the way to the ceiling though. It was almost like I was down in a bowl or tub. The only thing I could figure is that it was some huge, over-sized container, which made not a damned bit of sense.

And not only that, I was immersed in some type of thick, mucky liquid. It was yellowish in color; gritty and dense. Bending forward slightly, I inhaled deeply to smell and see if I could discern what the shit was. It smelled like... like... no way. Was I chest deep in some kind of..._batter? I could almost swear there were hints of Vitamin R._

_What in the actual fuck?_

Glancing like a madman in every direction, my brain somehow registered that I was in Charlie's kitchen. I could just barely see over the top of whatever I was in, finally able to recognize the used-to-be-white walls and cabinets in need of repainting. It suddenly occurred to me that the pantry doors were the size of fucking buildings. Which meant I must be the size of a piece of...

But before I could finish that thought, my attention was diverted to three gigantic heads suddenly looming over me. Now, you would think that the massive faces of Bella and Charlie would be what freaked me the fuck out. But you would be sorely mistaken.

What made me want to jump out of my goddamn skin was the gargantuan Jake-fishhead. It positively sneered at me with those creepy as shit fish eyes. 'Beady' was no longer an accurate descriptor as the fuckers were the size of tires. Or so it seemed anyway.

Even more disturbing was the way its mouth made the continual and repetitive 'O' shape, over and over again. The mutant's gills expanded and closed, despite the fact that there was no water anywhere. How in the hell the bastard wasn't flopped over and gasping was beyond me. Then again, there wasn't a single fucking thing about what was happening that was remotely close to normal.

I frantically looked from Bella to the Chief, begging and pleading for an explanation as to what in the fuck was going on; some sort of understanding as to why in the hell I was there, and more importantly why in the fuck weren't they doing something to get me out of this mess.

Wait...had I even attempted to speak? I didn't think so, but I was so disoriented who really knew? With every ounce of moxie to be mustered, I tried to shout and demand some answers. But as my unfortunate ass would have it, before I could speak one syllable, Charlie's Kong-like thumb descended down upon me. I was pushed below into the depth of the beer-laden batter. Mercifully, I was able to take in a desperate breath; I was momentarily saved from choking on the disgusting shit I was covered in.

The oppressing restraint finally lifted and I stood up full height out of the slimy crap. I shook my head violently in an effort to expel the coating from my face. Since my hands were bound, I couldn't wipe it off; thrashing myself around like a wet dog was all I could do.

I don't know how I managed, but I was able to shake just enough off so that I could get some sort of visual perception. Through squinted eyes, I was able to see Bella and Charlie peering at me, licking their lips and sure as fuck not in a good way. Mutant Jake somehow wore an evil grin with his ugly fish face, his mouth having stopped with the creepy fish breathing. Since when did fish fucking smile?

Suddenly, the giant Bella-head disappeared from my line of vision. It was then that I heard several clicking sounds, followed by a horrifying whoosh. And then I smelled gas and knew that I was beyond fucked.

I screamed with everything in me, "Bella! Bella! Help me please!" Either none of the freaks heard me, or they were sadistically ignoring my batter-covered ass.

So I did the only thing I could think of; I yelled incessantly, determined that one them would have mercy on me. And just when I was convinced that things couldn't go any more Twilight Zone, the demon swimmer freak show managed to reached over with tongs in his fins that eerily morphed into hands. The gigantic silver utensil plucked me out of the gritty sludge, lifting me out of the bowl I'd been imprisoned in.

Holy Shitballs! This was seriously not good... at fucking all. I found myself being airlifted to a frying pan filled with bubbling grease. _POP! POP!_ No way, man. I was not going out like this. Screw that.

It was now or never. This had to be a dream gone to hell in the highest order. I couldn't breathe; couldn't speak; couldn't fucking move. In that moment of panic, (the one where you know if you don't do something, anything, it's gonna be church for your ass) I yelled at myself to wake the hell up already.

I descended lower and lower, helplessly toward the rumbling grease. _POP! POP! _ I closed my eyes, prepared for the incendiary burn and then...

_CRASH!_

I suddenly found myself in a world of pain. Not from the scorching heat of being filleted alive, but from falling off the couch. I was simultaneously rattled and thankful to find living room floor and not boiling oil. Mercifully, I was discombobulated in a blanket, not batter. I freed myself from my constraints, all the while trying to defog my brain. My shoulder must have hit the coffee table because it stung like a bitch. My body throbbed in discomfort as I clumsily stood up in my post-nightmare stupor.

The sun was just barely peeking through the windows, so I knew it couldn't have been too early. I rubbed my hands furiously over my eyes in an attempt to shake off the morning haze. Or maybe it was a subconscious effort to rid myself of left-over beer batter remnants. All I knew was that I was super fucking glad that that trippy shit was just a whacked out dream.

I only hoped that I hadn't woken up Bella and her dad. I'm a pretty big guy; there had to be a hell of a lot of noise made when my ass hit the floor. No way in hell did I want to share with them the mess of a nightmare I just had. That would be really fucking embarrassing. Like hide your head embarrassing actually.

Because I was still pretty freaked out, I decided that a quick check of the tank was in order. To make sure that Jake was still normal size and all. Perfectly reasonable inquiry given the state I was in, which was batshit crazy apparently.

Whatever. I walked over to the tank, bent down and peered through the floating plastic sea-like crap. Right on cue, the normal-sized (thank Neptune), ass-fugly Jake swam out from hiding and _THUD_! Fucker rammed the glass doing his level best to head butt me or some shit. Obviously the demon fish hadn't learned his lesson.

Whether it was retribution for him almost frying my ass in the dream or just sheer fucking lunacy, I didn't know. All I can say is that I felt perfectly (and certifiably) justified in giving Jake another what-for. If he'd had an ass, I would have ripped him a new one.

"You stupid, shit-for-brains- sea-spawn from Hell! When are you gonna learn there's glass there?"

_WHAM!_

"What a dumbass piece of shit you are, you...you...'roided out guppy! You're not even fit for sushi, you goofy mother fucker!"

_WHAM!_

And because I was twenty-seven levels into crazytown, and quite possible their newly elected mayor, I decided I'd give the monster a taste of his own medicine. So I rammed the tank right back. With my head. Not hard of course, but enough force to prove a point. To a punkass fish.

_Oh yeah. Wave bye-bye to Edward._

"Ahem."

I bolted upright at the sound indicating that I wasn't the only person in the room. As my luck would have it, the tone of said sound was decidedly of a lower register than I would have liked. I'd been caught red-handed by _the man_ himself it would seem. God, where was a paper bag when I needed it?

I turned around toward the kitchen, my face more than likely as blank as my mind. I had no idea what to expect or say. No only that, I wasn't sure exactly what the Chief had seen. Except it wasn't just Charlie, oh no; Bella was standing right beside him.

The lawman's eyes bore into me, his eyebrow raised in a question of "what in the fucking shit?" Bella's jaw was about two inches of the floor, and if I hadn't been as embarrassed as all hell, the horny bastard within might have enjoyed the width at which it was opened just a little too much. Bella threw her hand up to her mouth, covering it in an attempt to reign in her fit of giggles, which really wasn't working out to well for her just then.

"Oh...heeeyyy there. Um, good morning." I smiled stupidly. The fact that I waved like a complete and total tool sure as shit didn't make the situation any better. "I, uh, I didn't wake you guys or anything did I?"

"Not at all Edward." Bella said, managing to choke out over her chuckles. "We left out early this morning. Charlie wanted to take me fishing for old times sake."

"That sounds like fun." While I wanted to pout a little at not being invited, I knew deep down that father and daughter needed some quality time without me tagging along. Even though it would've meant possibly being saved from being boiled in oil.

"Wasn't that a little tricky to do one handed though?" I asked and gestured toward her injured wrist. While I was genuinely interested in how she managed, I'd be lying out my ass if I didn't admit my further attempt at conversation misdirection.

"I didn't so much fish, just kept the Bassmaster company."

"Speaking of fish," Charlie began, "is there a particular issue you have with my pet?"

Dammit. No dice.

Well, this sure as shit wasn't the way I expected my first morning in Forks to go. Not that I really had any predictions either. But I certainly never imagined a scenario that would require an explanation as to why I was accosting a fucking freak-ass fish.

"I, um, I do not, sir Swan...I mean Chief Swan. Sir." Jesus, I know understood how those pimply-faced pecker heads must have felt all those years ago. Except I was busted for harassing Monster Guppy, not Bella.

"So it's normal for you to bully sea life then?" He paused after what I'd assumed was a rhetorical question, clearly waiting for answer. Charlie's face remained completely stoic; all I could do was shake my head like a busted four year-old under the scrutiny. "Mmm hmmm," he said, all narrowed eyes and pursed lips. The room was silent for God knows how long. Nervous as hell, I looked from Bella to Charlie and waited for one of them to say something, fuck anything.

With a cat-eat-shit-grin, the man finally spoke. "Sir Swan. I like it Eddie." With that declaration, he turned and headed towards the kitchen. "Who wants coffee?"

I said I'd grab a cup and then head upstairs to shower, because really, any excuse to disappear was a good one at that juncture. Bella started to give me shit about the coffee, the fact that it was Maxwell House and not my preferred Seattle's Best was just about to be thrown up at me. The look of sheer panic must have deterred her because she stopped herself. Or perhaps it was the violent head-shaking I was doing behind her father's back. Either way, she refrained from making fun of my java idiosyncrasies. Truly, the last thing I needed was the implication that I was dogging the man's coffee. I mean, I'd just been busted accosting his fish. Talk about living dangerously...

After excusing myself from the kitchen, I hightailed it upstairs with my dose of caffeine to get cleaned up. Before I took my turn in the solitary bathroom, I stopped off in Bella's old room to get my clothes and toiletries from my bag. It was the most logical choice to keep my things in her room. God only knows what tests the Chief would have run on my shit. I wasn't stupid though - he'd probably already had at least half a dozen background checks done on my ass.

As I stood within the walls of the place where teenage Bella had lived, I let myself get lost in every facet of her that I could. I'd learned a lot about her over the last several months, but was privy to even more since we came here. True enough, this wasn't her childhood home, but she spent some very formidable years in this space. Like a human sponge, I wanted to soak up everything about Bella that was possible.

I walked over to the desk still occupied by an old computer, so ancient that it still had an external modem. I'd be willing to bet the thing hadn't been turned on in forever. The printer was just as much of a fossil. I couldn't help but smile as I thought about the younger version of Bella who'd sat in that very spot, and no doubt was as studious then as she was now.

The bookshelf that sat atop her workspace was now void of most of its books; she'd brought her favorites (which was the majority of them) with her when she moved to the city. There were a few small stuffed animals housed in the shelves that must have been gifts from someone. I couldn't help but wonder who had given them and what sort of sentimental value they held for her.

The framed pictures were what interested me the most. Of course I wasn't surprised to see photos of Angela; I knew they'd become friends shortly after Bella moved here. It was the blond-haired-jockstrap-will-you-wear-my-class-ring dude that caught me off guard. And he wasn't just in one random picture either. He was in four of the eight that filled her shelves. I hated the fact that his appearance rate was fifty percent. Those stats were a little high for me.

I knew in the pit of my stomach that my dislike of Mr. Forks High Class of '03 was unfounded. I had no reason to want to rip his arms off and beat him like a pinata. I mean, it was a common thing for high school kids to go to football games and dances and car washes to raise money for prom. Fuck, I did those things.

What drove me nuts was the cocky-as-shit grin he wore; the same expression in all of them. It was as if he just knew he was the shit. _More like he we was full of shit_. As far as I was concerned, any-damn-way. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that his smile was loaded with full on gloat. Like he was one up on me because he knew her first.

And it wasn't just that douche-ass smirk I wanted to wipe off his face either. I fucking hated that he held Bella just a little too close. What, did he think she was some sort of possession? That he fucking owned her?

Then I looked at Bella, I mean really looked at her. I loathed the affection she held in her smile for this assclown. That discovery stung, but only because I wanted to be the recipient of that look. The only one. Ever.

I hoped like hell that he treated her right back then. I prayed that he honored her and respected her the way I knew she deserved. So help me, if ever I found out the opposite was true, I would find him and fuck him over.

Remembering what Charlie said yesterday, I wished like a kid at Christmas that it were true; that he did feed this pansy to Jake. In fact, I hoped the freaky fucker took his time and chewed him up nice and slow. Were any of these feelings of disdain valid? No, not at all. But that didn't matter because they were there just the same. Was there one single part of my reasoning that was rational? Of course not, but fuck, rationale had left the building a long time ago.

Hell, not even twenty minutes prior, I was in a pissing contest with a damn fish. Furthermore, at that moment, I was giving serious thought to decapitating those stuffed animals on the hunch that they _might_ be from the punkass momma's boy in the pictures. It was completely illogical, but yet made perfect sense to me.

"Edward, I thought you were gonna get cleaned up."

"Huh? I mean yeah, I am."

I'd become so engrossed in dissecting body language and trying to interpret how important the guy was to Bella that the sound of her footsteps didn't even register. And for the second time this morning, I could tell I was about to be asked to explain myself.

"Funny, it sounded like you were talking to those pictures." She said, the half-smile on her face suggested that she probably heard more than her speculation implied.

"Oh, well, no. I mean, I guess I was just thinking out loud."

"Sure you wanna go with that answer?"

"I'll have to; it's the only one I've got." I grinned in hopes that it would still work like magic on her; or at the very least she would take pity on my crazy ass.

My charm seemed to be fully operational as she dropped her gaze down to the floor and let out the faintest giggle. While that little response was definitely good for my ego, it was nothing in comparison to the gorgeous smile that she hit me with in return. And that was all I needed; that expression was a thousand times more powerful than the one from those distant pictures taken so long ago.

_Take that, cheese dick. You can shove your Forks High Class of '03 ring straight up your ass._

We stood there, just staring and smiling at each other for I had no idea how long. Truth be told, I could have done it for days, weeks even. All I knew was that I was the one responsible for that very look and that's all that mattered to me.

"So...what are you waiting for then, _Eddie_?" She teased. "You need to get a move on if we're gonna go tour the winery. It's about an hour and a half drive from here."

"Maybe I'm waiting for some help washing my back. You game?" Oh yeah, I was super full of myself and threw caution to the wind. Not that I thought she would take me up on my request, but it was fun to watch her think about it. And I knew that's what Bella was doing because it took her a full twenty seconds to find a come back.

"Only if you wanna be Jake bait. You forget, Charlie's just downstairs. Whatever do you think he would say?"

"Anything worth doing is worth doing well?"

"Riiight Cullen. Of course he would." She walked over to me, standing so close my heart started to thump double time. "When we get back to civilization," she purred, running her good hand up my chest to my shoulder, "first thing we're gonna do is book you a psych eval."

"Isabella Marie Swan," I began with a feigned look of pain. Moving her hand back to my chest, I covered it with my own; her palm was then flush against the heart she held firmly in her grasp. I kept it there for a second or thirty and with each thump her face grew warmer in color. "I am truly hurt that you think me unstable."

"Well, you'd have to be to think my dad would be alright with me helping you... you... you know, do _that._" It was not lost on me how Bella tripped over her words. I could tell by her slightly increased breathing that she was no doubt playing out the assisted back-washing in her brain. And because I knew that she was in a bit of a tizzy, and a good one if I was judging accurately, I decided to have some more fun.

"But Bella," I crooned, a not-really-innocent grin on my face, "friends help each other, don't they?" There was no answer, just a couple of blinks. "I helped you _into_ your pants yesterday after all. You know what a huge sacrifice that was on my part."

"Yeah... well," she started trying to formulate some sort of comeback. "I'm injured. You were just being a good Samaritan." I was impressed with that one, I had to admit. Trust Bella to try and steer the conversation away from the physical. Except, I wasn't letting her off that easy and I wasn't done playing.

"Have I told you that I have an old shoulder injury that nags at me from time to time. You know, from all those years of playing shortstop?"

"Pretty sure I'd remember if you had." She quirked an eyebrow. She also hadn't tried to move her hand from my chest. Not that I would've let her anyway, but that was totally beside the point.

"Well, it just so happens that it's pretty sore right now. Makes it hard to reach certain areas. So you know, maybe you could just do a quick fly by and make sure I don't miss anything back there."

That was the exact moment she chose to move her hand from under mine and raise it to my cheek. With couple of quick pats, she shot me down and said, "Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full."

And all I could do was laugh.

"Now seriously, get a move on. I still need to clean up myself after going fishing with Charlie. I smell all outdoorsey."

I leaned down, and while I wanted to bury my nose in her hair, I didn't. I did however brush it just beneath her ear, and inhaled slightly. She shivered, which made me smile. "You smell just fine to me, Smalls."

"I still want to freshen up, though." She took a few steps back to leave the room. "So, chop chop."

I knew she was in full on retreat mode. But I couldn't quit, not when I knew I was getting to her. Flirting with Bella and making her all flustered was one of my favorite pastimes.

"Wait a sec," I said before she walked out of the room, "why don't we just go together? Save time, conserve water; seems win-win to me."

That must've really gotten to her. Bella mouthed the word "no" followed by a not-very-stern "stop that" and then made haste downstairs. Despite her protests, I knew I'd put the idea in her mind. And if she was thinking about me like that, then that was a small victory I'd take.

However, my proverbial pat on the back was short lived. Planting that scenario in her mind naturally got my brain entertaining the same idea. And because I am a guy, and more often than not a horny one, my head had a very explicit scene of Bella and I in the shower running on a loop. Play. Rewind. Play. Rewind.

That mental porn was of course the very wake up call that my dick would not ignore.

Outstanding Eddie. _Outfuckingstanding._

So there I was, at full mast and more than a little pissed off at myself. What kind of deviant allows himself to sport wood in the home of the father of the woman he's trying to win back? Especially when the aforementioned parent owns more firearms than the mob and could just as easily get rid of a body.

It was definitely not an option to go whack off in Sir Swan's shower. That was just... no. No only no, but hell no. So I did the only thing a responsible and morally upstanding thing a gentleman could do in such a plight: I envisioned Betty White on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. In a fucking thong.

A few moments of picturing her practically naked on a beach somewhere was all it took. Situation abated and back to normal size. No disrespect to Betty; she was a great old broad, just not one I wanted to see in next to nothing.

Once things were under control, I hurried to do what I'd come up here to do the first place. After the morning I'd had, I needed a nice hot shower. And as far as I was concerned, the day could only get better. It had to.

It didn't take me long to get ready; but in the time I took getting dressed, I thought about dinner the night before with Bella and Charlie. It was hard not to scrutinize everything that was said; all I wanted was to make sure that I held the ground I'd gained. With the both of them.

The chief was actually pretty talkative at dinner, much to my surprise. I mean, I knew he'd be conversational with his own kid. However, I didn't expect him to be as receptive to me. In fact, I was pretty confident I'd shattered the hundred word allotment at dinner alone.

Of course he asked me questions about my family and my childhood upbringing. I suppose it could've felt like a interrogation of sorts, especially if I had something to hide. But I loved my family, quirks and all. I was proud of them and happy to share stories, even if it was at my own expense. Bella thought it hilarious to bring up the time Emmett dared me to go into Planned Parenthood and ask for free condoms. Fuck, I was twelve; I didn't know any better. What was even funnier was the grounding he got for the stunt. He'd given me the stink-eye for a solid month.

What I did know, is that the more Charlie seemed to be warming up to me, the more Bella did too, in a different kind of way. I noticed throughout dinner she would reach over and touch my arm every so often, sort of absentmindedly as she explained something. At one point, we both had our arms folded in front of us resting on the table. Our elbows touched for a full ten minutes before she moved hers.

In fact, I'd been so jazzed that the man had taken to me, I mean as much as Charles Swan could take to a man sitting that close to his only offspring, I made the offer for him to come see a Mariner's game official. I knew there were weekend games in a couple weeks; that was as good a time as any to have him up for a visit. Get the man on my turf and with a little luck, solidify his position on my fucking team. Truthfully, I don't know who was more excited when he accepted, me or Bella.

That, my friends, was what I'd call progress. And with what she had planned for us today, I had every intention of making more. While we'd been debating our activities for the weekend, Bella made mention of the various wineries along the Olympic Peninsula. Since I'd never been to any of them, I was more than game. An outing of that nature had potential written all over it. This diem was about to be seriously carpe'd. And then some.

The fact that a winery could be filled with romantic possibility was not lost on me for one second. Location and ambiance could have every important bearing imaginable if I played my hand with absolute perfection. My game face was going to have to be spot on if I wanted to make some headway.

I knew with unequivocal certainty that if I pushed too hard, she'd resist and fight me all the way. If I was too overzealous, too obvious or let's face it, just too fucking desperate, Bella would backtrack in a dead out run. That was absolutely unacceptable.

On the flipside, I couldn't afford to let off the gas either. If I backed off too much, played things _too_ cool, Bella could think I'd lost interest or changed my mind. She obviously had a track record (or at least, that was the case where I was concerned) of making the wrong conclusion. Misread gestures or misinterpretations on her part could be my downfall if wasn't careful.

As I dressed for the day, I pondered a thousand different scenarios as to how the day may or may not play out. Of course, they ranged from total success to crash-and burning failure. Luckily, I was not the type of guy that spent a shit ton of time on grooming. My lack of metrosexuality kept me from dwelling on the possibility that by the day's end, I could be hand cuffed or tied to cement blocks on my way down to the bottom of the Pacific.

Casting that rather depressing and macabre thought aside, I took my non-primping self downstairs so that Bella could have the bathroom. She and Charlie were in the process of polishing off some breakfast as they shared the morning paper. I hoped that the Chief had decided to dismiss my earlier behavior with regard to his beloved pet. And if I was lucky, forgive and forget it ever happened.

"The shower's all yours, Smalls." I said as I walked into the kitchen.

"Oh, great," she replied, taking her dishes to the sink. "There's some cereal in the pantry. Just help yourself if you're hungry. I won't be too long."

"Thanks." I noticed that Charlie was still nose-in-paper, so I took the opportunity to razz Bella a little more. "I really tried to hurry; hope I saved you plenty hot water."

"How very considerate of you." With an eyeroll and a grin, she started up the upstairs.

"Well you know me; always the gentleman. "

"And who could ask for anything more?" She called out over her shoulder, her tone all playful and sing-songy.

I chuckled to myself, and sort of got lost in watching her cute ass in it's ascension towards the bathroom. The rustle of the paper behind me reminded me I needed to check myself before my dumb ass got a beat down for excessive ogling.

"So," I began rather awkwardly, my panic starting to show, "did you guys catch anything?"

"Nothing worth keeping."

"That's too bad." I said. When I got nothing more for what may have been a minute or twelve, I decided to take Bella up on her offer and grab some grub. Certain silences, especially those that involved gun toting-law enforcing-paternals, made me nervous as shit. It was best to busy myself so I didn't word hurl at the man again.

"The thing about fish is that sometimes they're biting and sometimes they're not." His statement caught me so off guard, I damn near spilled my Special K all over the counter. "Temperamental, you see."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmm hmm. Important thing is to keep casting your line and be patient."

"Oh, that's good to know. I'll be sure and remember that." I replied as I put the milk back into the fridge.

"For instance, if you were to go out on the water today, I think you'd find they're in a biting mood." I smiled like the goofy-ass-bastard that I was because I was pretty sure that the Chief wasn't really talking about the fish.

...

…

" So, tell me group activity leader - what do we have on the agenda today?" I asked Bella as we left Forks on our journey to the Finnriver Winery. We had a pretty lengthy drive ahead of us, so I figured we could at least game plan.

"Um, I didn't know I was in charge."

"You're always in charge. Haven't you figured that out yet?" She snorted at my question, but I think deep down we both knew that it was the truth. It may have been flippant on the surface, but there was hidden meaning behind it. And that's exactly what I'd intended.

"Gah, so much pressure. I'm not sure I can handle the responsibility. What happens if this place turns out to be kinda crappy?"

"Oh, nothing much. I'll just make fun of you for the rest if the weekend." She huffed and hit my shoulder, which really didn't hurt at all, even though I said "ouch" like it did.

"Ass." She muttered under her breath.

"Yeah, yeah... whatever. Seriously, there's alcohol there. How bad can it be?"

"Well, I printed out some stuff from their website." She said, pulling some papers from her purse. "We can take a tour of the facilities; go to the tasting room for samples. We could have a picnic down by the river, take advantage of the gorgeous weather. It looks like there's quite a bit to do there, actually."

"Sounds very cool. I always wanted to know how they make wine. Hey, think they might let us stomp on some grapes?"

"God I hope not; that's just nasty. Too slimy for me." I looked over to Bella, only to see the look of repulsion on her face. "All those mushed up grapes in between my toes... gross."

"Awww come on, now. Don't you think it sounds like fun to traipse around in a vat full of fruit?" Before she could protest too much I thought better of that myself. "Nevermind. I've seen you traipse. My luck, you'd slip and end up in traction."

The drive went fast and was filled with easy conversation. It was the first time Bella and I had gotten to really talk since dinner the night before with Charlie. I was anxious to find out how she thought it went.

Much to my relief, she thought it had gone great. In fact, she too was surprised at how conversational her dad had been with me. I was suddenly really looking forward to his coming to Seattle in two weeks to see a Mariners game. I told her as much and was rewarded with a smile so beautiful and illuminating, it suddenly didn't matter whether the sun was shining or not.

If I were being totally honest with myself, I was dying to know how their fishing trip had gone. I didn't want to to come off as a conceited, narcissistic douche, but I was overwrought with curiosity as to whether or not I'd been discussed. More importantly, to what extent and most definitely in what context.

I, however, approached that conversation with measured trepidation. General questions were the best tactic. Nothing too heavy for damn sure. Did they have a good time? Were they able to catch up? The "unloaded" questions would have to do this early in the day. Maybe after a little wine I'd be a little more daring; press a little harder.

What I was absolutely not prepared for was the interesting little tidbit that Carlisle had called.

_Exsqueeze me, baking powder? _

My first thought was why would my dad be calling her? Surely he wasn't trying to put in some sort of good word for me because that would just be awkward as hell. Besides, that was a page out of my mom's playbook. That just wasn't the good doctor's style.

And then I checked my self-centered ass at the door. He wanted to check on our little patient; make sure she was taking her medicine and what not. I bet I didn't even factor into their conversation.

Just as my shock had started to wane, my Sweetness hit me again with the interesting fact that our dads had a talk of their own. Now that was sure as shit a conversation that I didn't want to be a topic of; no matter how brief.

It wasn't that I didn't trust my dad not to say something incriminating; not in the slightest. My dad was truthful, which again was fine. It was the uncertainty of how the Chief would interpret and spin said truths that panicked the fool out of me.

So I bit my tongue, swore I tasted blood, and just let Bella talk. She said that Charlie had thanked her boss for taking such great care of his daughter; that it was easier for him to sleep at night knowing that someone was looking out for her.

But then she told me that my dad must have taken over the conversation because Charlie got pretty quiet. Bella said he'd lowered his voice considerably, only interjecting her and there with a small "mmm hmm" or "I see."

It wouldn't do me a damn bit of good to ponder what Carlisle could have said. I refused to dwell on that. What was certain was the overwhelming pride that replaced every bit of apprehension with Charlie's parting words: "You're a good man, Dr. Cullen. I look forward to shaking your hand very soon."

The flush in Bella's cheeks bellied that there was something else, something that she was holding back. I could almost see the filter in her brain buckle down to keep whatever it was from escaping. I resolved then and there that I would find out before the day was out.

Before we realized it, we were turning down the dirt path that would take us to the Finnriver Vineyards. It was breathtaking scenery; some of the most beautiful landscapes I'd ever seen. Grandiose mountains stood tall against the backdrop of a clear, cloudless sky. Sprawling fields peppered with vibrant evergreens outstretched as far as the eye could see blanketed the palatial country side. The endless rows of apple trees and the vast grape orchard looked like something out of a painting. I was captivated by all of it, especially the quaint farmhouse where it was told some of the best wine and cider in the Pacific Northwest was made.

_Hey Eddie, when in all fuck did you turn into such a chick?_

_Since now apparently,_ I thought to myself. I might have even eyerolled in my general direction. Only an insensitive bastard could stand where I stood and not be in awe of the scenery around me. And only a nutbar loon would fail to see that this place was dead-on perfect to make some headway toward my final destination. Which was back into Bella's heart.

We decided that the self-guided tour would suit us best. That way we could go at our own pace, take the time to really enjoy the surroundings. Sometimes, Bella and I both agreed, the best plan was to just fly by the seat of our collective pants.

And that's just what we did. We made our way through the vast vineyards, surrounded by the sweet smell of luscious grapes. It was pretty cool to see first hand the workers carefully pick them from the vines. Even more so was talking to one of the guys about the timing of such. Who knew that there was such a science to it? I know I certainly didn't.

Apparently, picking a seemingly inconsequential bunch could throw the flavor off of an entire batch of wine. If the grapes weren't ripe to perfection so that the natural sugars were just so, it could throw off the whole taste. The metaphor of Bella to the grapes was not lost on me; not in the slightest. It dawned on me that she might be have the same thought. Again with her "tells" I noticed in my periphery the way she cut her eyes over to me. The subsequent diversion of her gaze and minute shake of her head indicated that I was probably right.

In an effort to lighten the mood, I told the guy that Bella had a deep and abiding love for the Lucy episode where she stomped the grapes into wine. Explaining that it had been a dream of hers to one day be able to feel the squish of the fruit beneath her feet, I inquired as to whether he might help her to fulfill that one wish. Bella gagged and elbowed me in the ribs. I laughed and the dude looked thoroughly confused.

She promptly apologized and said that I was a pathological liar; after a quick thank you, she grabbed my hand and yanked me further into the maze of foliage. I was certain after a few steps, she'd let go of my hand; imagine my surprise when the unexpected happened and she didn't.

And so we just walked that way, hand in hand, and I was fucking overjoyed. We strolled through the grounds, soaking up the farm atmosphere and the animals that roamed free. I didn't even mind being laughed at because the chickens were tripping my shit. Bella about ruptured an intestine when the fuckers started pecking at my ankles, which caused me to yelp like a fucking bitch. I blamed Giganta-Jake and that damned nightmare. Apparently I was a hot commodity among fish and foul alike.

But honestly, I couldn't have scripted the day any better than if I were Cameron fucking Crowe. Everything from the the wine and cider tasting to the amazing picnic next to the stream that ran through the grounds; all of it perfect. I could feel the changes in the air between us, like the way you can feel it in when the seasons transition from one to the next. The natural progression and shift in climate was a welcomed and long overdue occurrence. Everything felt more right than it had in awhile, and god did that feel so damn good.

I mean, she didn't even protest when I fed her grapes. In fact, I'm pretty sure she totally dug it. But, I was careful to ensure that her shifting mood wasn't directly proportionate to the amount of cider she'd consumed. I absolutely didn't want anything to do with progress as a result of liquid courage. Fuck, I'd been on the crazy-drunk-Bella-train and I had no desire to head back down that track any time in the future.

I did the gentlemanly thing and made sure she ate enough; but I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that the horny bastard really enjoyed feeding Bella. Good Samaritan my ass - it was a turn on and I was doing my level best to show just how little I was absolutely not hating it at all.

As the sun set, we decided it was time to bid our little bit of heaven adieu. Once in the car, I made sure to thank her and told her how much I'd enjoy the day. In a moment of absolute honesty with an added touch of bravery, I sort of shamelessly lobbied for a return trip next memorial day weekend. A bit presumptuous on my part, I knew, but what the hell. I was going big or going home.

"So, I wanna know something," Bella began, her voice laced with an air of mischief. The expression definitely went hand in hand with the tone. "Tell me, what was going on with you this morning? That was some crazy shit you know."

"Huh. Yeah, that...umm, first tell me exactly what you and your dad were privy to."

"Well, we got back from fishing and heard you mumbling from in the living room. You must have been dreaming and were sleep talking I guess. Most of it was unintelligible, but then..."

I cut her off quickly. "What was I saying?"

Her eyes dropped down to her lap and she started to fiddle with her splint, messing with the velcro straps. "Just stuff."

"Bullshit. What did you hear?" It had to be pretty incriminating for her reaction to be such that it was.

"My name. You said my name over and over. I couldn't really make out the other things, but yeah." Bells got quiet for a second before she continued, the sounds of the wheels in motion filling the car until she spoke again. "What were you dreaming Edward?"

And then the space was overrun with my laughter because it was just damn funny now that I'd had time to properly digest it. My outburst clearly puzzled her; that would soon be solved and her reticence to discover the truth would dissipate in a hot second once she'd learned it. Of that, I was sure.

"Oh, fuck," I choked out, coughing and clearing my throat so I could catch my breath. "It's really embarrassing. Basically, I dreamed that Jake was like this monster fish and I was about as big as a fillet. He was gonna deep fry my ass."

"Do what?" She asked, the smile equal parts stunned and amused, but totally blinding just the same. "You're making that up."

"I wish I were. And what's worse is you and Charlie were accomplices. I was calling out for you to help, trapped in a bowl of batter no less."

"Shut up!" She said, laughing at my crack-pipe nightmare. "You didn't have _that_ much to drink at dinner last night."

"No I didn't." I started to laugh again. "I was just about to be put in the grease when I fell off the couch."

"Yeah, we saw you hit the floor, and we started to say something, but then you went off on Jake. I particularly enjoyed the part where you hit the tank... with your head. That was my favorite, by the way."

"Definitely not my finest hour." I came clean.

"No, I guess not." She agreed with a chuckle that gave way to a small sigh. A sigh which sounded like it was big in the relief department when I thought twice about it.

"Can I ask you a question then? I mean, it's only fair given what I've so shamelessly just admitted."

"Okay. Shoot."

"Why did you act nervous about what you just asked me? Afraid of what we might have been doing in my dream?" I was not really at all teasing and when you got right down to it, I might've been calling her out. Who am I kidding, of course I was.

"No, I'm not, thank you very much. Not even remotely. So there." I was a tad shocked that her rather emphatic denial wasn't followed up with her sticking her tongue out.

"Really? Is that your final answer?"

"Piss off, Regis." She fired back. She tried to act like she was miffed, but really, the gleam in her eyes told a different tale. "Think about it; Charlie was standing right there. A little awkward don't you think? I was not in any mood for his looks this morning."

"Whoa, hold up one sec. First off, the only awkward should be mine. I was the one who was saying your name in a nocturnal fashion. And what looks from Charlie, while we're on that particular subject?" I needed to know what she meant and I wasn't giving up until I had some semblance of an answer.

"Nothing, okay. Just Charlie being... not Charlie."

"No no, not nothing there, Smalls. I just 'fessed up to some pretty embarrassing stuff. The least you can do is tell me what you're talking about with your dad." I was wearing her down and penal code be dammed, I was not going to let her wiggle out of this.

After a pause that seemed like fucking eons, she took a deep breath and copped a plea. "Look, you might have come up in conversation briefly while we were fishing." An eternal beat or two passed, in what must have been her need to carefully choose her words. "Let's just say that my dad had some very un-Charlie-like opinions on things and leave it at that, okay?"

There were no words to describe the restraint it took me to fight the idiot smile off my face. Even though her admission was vague, I was smart enough to translate the Bella-ese in the hidden meaning. Or at least I hoped I was.

For Mr. Self Chosen Solitude to have an uncharacteristic viewpoint where I was concerned could only be a good thing. Especially given his cryptic comments to me this morning. And the fact that said opinions seemed to have Bella a little off kilter, well that spoke volumes.

"I can do that." I agreed, simply because her somewhat glossed over answer was enough for me. Before either of us could say another word, Bella's stomach decided to chime in on the matter with a growl that rivaled my brother's. "The rumble in your belly seems to have an opinion though. You want to get some dinner?"

"Sorry about that. I could eat."

"Well, Port Angeles is just ahead; we could see if something there grabs us. Sound good to you?"

"Sounds perfect."

In no time, we were being seated at Michael's Seafood and Steakhouse by a hostess that wore entirely too much makeup. With the fervor of her hip sway, it was pathetically obvious she was trying to get someones attention. Apparently, she'd gotten Bella's and not in a good way.

Well at least not for the hostess anyway. I, on the other hand, was more than fortunate; Bella found it necessary to link her arm in mine as we walked to our table. Like I would complain about that...

Once we got situated, I excused myself to the restroom. I'd had my fill of wine and cider for the day and asked Bella to please order me a beer if our waitress showed up before I got back.

I couldn't have been gone more than a few minutes when my phone buzzed that I'd gotten a text message. _What could be so important that you've got to text me while I'm indisposed, Sweetness? _I thought to myself as I opened the message up.

**When u get to the table, just go along w/whatever I do, k? Pretty please? I owe you bigtime.**

I texted her back with a 'no problem', but I was completely puzzled by her request. Everything made complete and total sense once I got back to the table, though.

As I approached, I could see that some guy had taken my seat, which was completely un-fucking-acceptable. I was about ten seconds from dive-tackling him out of it, when I realized that he wasn't just some random guy hitting on my girl.

It was clear that Bella knew this chump, not that it made the situation any better. But I could tell by the way she was being polite and conversational that the guy was no stranger. So I decided to just chill and get a better read on things once I was properly introduced.

That sound line of thinking was quickly tossed out the window once I got there. The guy looked vaguely familiar and I could not for the life of me think why. I'd never been to this part of the state before. I was baffled.

I'd seen the guy somewhere and it was maddening that I couldn't remember where. Something about his face... the eyes... that cocky-as-shit smirk. And then it hit me. If I added about seven years to the jizz-miester from the pictures this morning...

That's exactly who this joker was - Mr. Jockstrap Letter Jacket Man.

"Oh, hey Edward." Bella greeted as they both stood up. "This is Michael Newton. We went to high school together."

"Hello Edward, it's nice to meet you." He said as he extended his hand. I couldn't lie, I had no interest in shaking it, unless it was in an attempt to rip it from his body. "I'm so happy to have you guys here in my restaurant."

_Well isn't that just fucking rich? Looks like the douche voted Most Likely to Succeed actually lived up to the bogus yearbook honor. Fucker._

I begrudgingly acquiesced to the handshake because being an asshole would only result in our food being seasoned with a loogi from the chef. Or by this joker himself. So I obliged. But before I could exchange a false pleasantry, Bella made clear the meaning of her cryptic text.

"Mike, this is Edward Cullen. My boyfriend."

* * *

A/N: Psssst...you know what? You guys are the knees of bees and I love each and every one of you. So I'm really hoping that ya'll don't hate me...teehee.

It made me all kinds of bouncy-giddy-happy that Jake was such a hit last chapter. I had such a blast with him before, I threw him back in here for shits and giggles.

I've totally run out of ways to say "thank you" to my pre-readers of fuckawesomeness **RoseArcadia**, **lola-pops**, **kbacon74 **and **lisamichelle17**. So, I've given them lifetime privelages to my bewbs because that's all I've got in the bag.

Big ups to the Beta Dude (and Ben Affleck stunt double), **Stratan**, for being a boatload of badass and shining my mess up nice and purty. If I had a magic wand, I'd wave it and put the Red Sox in the playoffs just for him.

And of course, infinite thanks and a plethora o'gratitude to all of you. I am truly humbled and blessed that you continue to read and encourage my yuck-monkiness. You give me more happy than you will ever know.

If you're so inclined, gimme a yell on the Twitter. I don't bite, unless that's your type of thing. RAWR. http:/twitter(dot)com/stephk0525

I'm headed back to the pantry. I'm armed with Nutter Butters, popcorn and a whole bunch of Twinkies. I also have some Ready Whip. Let's partay.

Stay fabulous and I'll see you soon.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Same song, second verse. Could get better, but it's gonna get worse…just kidding. Well, maybe not. Hee. I'm still a potty mouth and still not the hostess with the mostess. Twilight was not, is not and will never be mine. *sigh* I just like to jack up the apple.**

* * *

**CH 17 Crash Into Me**

**Bella**

The day had been full of crazy, wonderful - and honestly - both funnier than hell and frustrating as shit moments. Most of which I was in no way prepared for. Not that I had any complaints about how the weekend was going, I didn't. In fact, I was pretty shocked and totally ecstatic at how well my dad and Edward were getting along.

The early morning fishing excursion had started out normal enough. Charlie was usually a man of few words and I fully expected all of his focus to be on extracting fish from the river. Sure, there were pleasantries exchanged as we played catch up; general questions about work and my friends that always filled such conversations. The usual. Easy small talk where the inquiries were simple and the answers were standard. That's just how he and I did things.

And then shit just turned all kinds of freaky weird. Not the cool kind of weird where it's unexpected yet surprisingly enjoyable. Oh no. This was the "how did I end up on the mother ship and what planet are you taking me to?" kind of weird.

I knew things were suspect when the normally peaceful lull never came. Charlie started asking prying questions about Edward and me. Curiosities that I'd hoped a brief, but somewhat informative discussion we'd had prior to my visit would prevent.

Before making the trip down, I'd finally owned up to my dad that Edward and I had dated briefly, but settled on friendship. Assuring him that it didn't make things weird at work, I may or may not have purposely underplayed the seriousness of what Edward and I had shared. I mistook Charlie's lack of comment as acceptance instead of the delayed inquisition it turned out to be.

The interrogative cop routine came second nature, but throw the scrutinizing, concerned father into the mix, and I was in deep shit. Without a fucking paddle. And with Chief Dad, there was no such thing as pleading the fifth. He had me out in the middle of bumfucknowhere, on a boat no less with no flippy-floppies. Escape was totally futile.

"So what exactly is the deal with you and Edward?" Charlie didn't mince words, even in their brevity. "You're not telling me everything."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah, you do. There's more to the story, young lady. You forget, it's my job to sniff out bullshit, and you reek, child." He paused for a second, and when I didn't answer, he kept right on going. "You said you're just friends. Fine. But that's not all there is, missy."

_Shit. Fuck._

"Okay, you win. We stopped dating because I thought friendship was a better fit."

"And?"

I was met with the knowing stare that said "keep talkin', perp, I know there's more", I had no choice but to spill my guts. It was clear that my dad wasn't going to let this go.

_Double shit fuck._

"Fine. Edward used to be sort of a player." I realized I better explain to him what the term meant. "So, a player is a guy that basically -"

"I'm familiar with the term, Bells. I'm not dead."

"Oh. Yeah, okay." _Awkward. _I gathered my thoughts for a second and then machine-gun fired them all over place. "Anyway, he used to date a lot. There was some miscommunication with a girl that he'd hooked up with a few months before he and I got together. I guess you could say Edward gave her the impression that he was pretty interested and told her things that he might or might not have told me when we met."

"Well which is it? The might or might not?"

"Might." Charlie gave me a nod and a gruff uh-huh of understanding. I took that as a cue to keep going. "But then he and the girl lost touch about the time that we started dating. When we decided to get sort of serious, she got back in touch with him, and I witnessed some of her… ummm... attempt at a reunion."

I had to make sure that I painted Edward in the right light; Charlie seemed to actually like him. I didn't want my poor explanation to cause him to feel otherwise. That would not be good, especially given how ingrained Edward was in my life. So I chose my words very carefully.

"Don't get me wrong, though; it's not like he was trying to see both of us at the same time or anything. He basically blew her off since we were already dating. It got me to thinking that he might do the same thing to me if someone, I don't know... better came along. To me it was safer to be friends before I got hurt. That's all."

"This may sound very dad of me, but there's not better than you, Bella. That's a fact." I started to validate the bias, but the man who normally said very little wasn't finished. "And I think Edward agrees. Seems to me he's got more than friendship on his mind."

"He thinks if he sticks around long enough, he'll prove me wrong. I don't know, Dad."

I thought that maybe I was off the hook then, a reward for good behavior and cooperation. Au contraire, mon frere. I was not that lucky. My dad wasn't done. Not by a long shot.

"It's clear you two are pretty tight; how close is he to his objective?" He asked next. It didn't escape me how even Charlie's tone was as he cast his reel in the river and eased his line back in a little.

Honestly, he was probably a lot closer than even I realized up until that point. Sure I'd done my very best at keeping him at arms length these last few months, but shit, my resolve was faltering. I kept waiting and waiting for him to give up on what I'd told him was a lost cause, and get distracted by someone else; only he never did.

Damn it all. As much as I wanted to be wrong, there was that looming question nagging at me: what if I wasn't?

Sitting there staring at the fishing pole I'd had since I was a teenager, I found it difficult to answer my father. My answers would bring about so many more questions that I was too scared to face. Yet somehow, I found my voice and was as honest as I could be.

"We spend just about all our free time together. I want him around as much as possible. I know deep down our feelings for each other haven't changed. I can't lie either; I want a damn do over so bad it makes me crazy. But I'm too scared."

What I expected from Charlie was the "stand your ground" advice; only I got the complete opposite.

"Does he make you happy Bells?" This time his eyes were affixed square on mine, intense and searching. Charlie wasn't trying to force an admission out of me, just honesty.

"Of course he does."

"Would you be happier with more?"

_Well duh, Dad_, but I couldn't seem to choke it out. I felt like owning up to that would be an affirmation of recklessness to my father. He'd think putting my heart and my pride on the line was the height of irresponsibility, especially given that Edward was my boss's son. I could all but hear the "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" coming out of his mouth.

"No answer? Tells me all I need to know." He grabbed his mug and took a long gulp of coffee. "Do what makes you truly happy, baby girl. Damn the consequences."

At that point, I was pretty sure my jaw was on the fucking floor.

"Do as I say, not as I do." Charlie might as well have tasered me with his stun gun. I'd heard him say that a million times growing up, only it was this time in particular that knocked me for a fucking loop.

Six easy words that made it really hard to think. My dad locked, loaded and then fired a minimal declaration that waylayed me. The man of few words had suddenly said so much more than I had ever anticipated he would.

Now what the hell was I supposed to do with that?

"I see the way he looks at you, and I know what it means. If you can't see it, then you're as blind as your Granny Swan."

From that moment on, the curve balls just kept on coming. Carlisle's unexpected phone call (and even more surprising chat with my dad), while totally fine, came completely out of left field. That had been easy enough to recover from, but once we got back to the house... well to say things got interesting didn't even begin to cover it.

Edward had said my name in his sleep. Whatever was happening behind the veil of his dreams, I was there. Given the raspy way he spoke and the jerky movements of his body, there weren't many guesses to be had. And as sure as the universe was intent on jacking up shit, Charlie was there to witness all of it with a cat-eat-shit grin no less. I was not disrespectful, but so help me I wanted to smack that 'stache-covered smirk into next week.

Everything after that point was so all over the map, especially where Edward was concerned. He went insane apeshit on Jake, a result of the cracked out nightmare he'd had about being filleted like a fish by Charlie's beloved pet I later learned. Totally disturbing but so much less complicated. Well, for me anyway.

But then we'd had the most amazing, bordering on romantic, day at the winery where things started to feel like they did before: right. Like everything fit. It made what Charlie said really hit home. I slowly started to listen to his voice in my head instead of that yappy, neurotic, spazz-of-a-chick that was such a damn killjoy.

I'm sure the cider helped in giving her a good dose of shut the hell up. That was nice for a change. Then maybe she would see how good things were and how much better they could be if she'd chill the fuck out.

By the time we hit the restaurant, I was feeling bold. As the day went on, I'd let touches linger, encouraged them even. I might've even solicited a few. It was like the gust of fresh air that infiltrates your lungs, leaving your system replenished and invigorated. And I couldn't get enough of it.

Shit, I was feeling downright invincible. I silently cursed the Jezebel-of-a-hostess that took us to our table. I gave her the look of back-the-fuck-off-or-I-will-fuck-you-up when her gaze fixated on Edward for longer than necessary. The nervous way she darted her eyes told me my message was received loud and clear.

One thing was certain, I did not want to squander the night away with dissecting words. I wanted actions to speak volumes and multitudes so that questions wouldn't spoil them. So I took the moments that Edward was in the restroom to figure out how to play things. It wasn't my intention to disregard our last few months of friendship, but rather consider them carefully and make sure they counted.

"Bella?"

I knew that voice that pulled me from my inner musings. Shit on a stick. I turned to see none other than Mike Newton - high school boyfriend and former center of gravity to yours truly. Just hunky-fucking-dorey.

"Oh hey, Mike. Good to see you." I said, putting forth my very best congenial smile.

"You too, Jelly. Come here and give me a hug." I cringed at his use of that godforsaken nickname he'd given me from when we were dating. I thought it was cute to be called by his favorite candy._ Then_. Mike said it was because I was just as sweet. Cue cringing and dry-heaves.

There was a time when I thought that the sun rose and set on the guy that stood before me. True enough, Mike was handsome in a pretty-boy sort of way; the hair still golden-blond with soft blue eyes and a dimpled smile that used to make my heart go nuts. And if I'd never left Forks after high school, I would have happily settled for this. However, after having learned that beyond town limits there was an Edward that existed, let's just say that leaving home was about the smartest thing I'd ever done.

Being the polite person I was, I obliged and stood to hug him. At first I was surprised to have run into him here. But then I remembered Charlie mentioning several years ago that Mike had gotten into the restaurant business. From the looks of things, he was doing pretty well for himself I had to admit.

There I stood, hugging my ex-high school boyfriend and the longer he held me, the ickier I felt. It made me a little, okay a lot, uncomfortable that he didn't let me go after the customary allotted time for a friendly embrace. I was not digging the extra squeezes Mike was giving me at all. In fact, I quickly stepped backwards when he slid his hands from my back to my waist.

"So, what brings you up here to my humble eating establishment? Missed me, did you?" There was a grin on his face that was supposed to be flirtatious; clearly behavior that I could not and would not encourage.

Deciding I would squash that shit immediately, I reached for my phone and fired a quick text to Edward. I needed him to be fully cooperational with me from the second he hit the table, otherwise my reply to the question currently being asked of me would be proven as the utter bullshit that it was. Sort of. Maybe. Not really.

"Well, actually I'm in town visiting my dad."

Before I could continue, Mike interrupted me. "Oh, are you here with the Chief? Let me go back and get a bottle of wine and we can have a nice dinner. You know catch up and whatnot."

It was the _whatnot _and the accompanying wink that told me I needed to be over the top for good 'ol Mike to get a clue. "Actually, I'm not here with Charlie," I said, reaching out and grabbing his arm to stop him.

"Well surely you're not here by yourself. Did Angela come with you?" He tried to stand again, hell bent on getting the booze and crashing my dinner plans.

"No, she's back at home. I'm here with my boyfriend."

"Oh, I uh... I didn't know you were seeing anyone." His smile faltered slightly, and I almost felt bad for a minute. Except that I knew Mike Newton all-too-well. It was clear he'd had some sort of mini-reunion on his mind with a whole lot of reminiscing and getting better acquainted than we used to be back in the day.

"Well, why would you know that Mike?"

"Because your dad didn't say that you were when I ran into him a few months back. Not that I was checking up on you or anything, I just figured he would have mentioned it, I guess."

"You know my dad isn't one to volunteer much information, especially about me." That was a universal truth where Charles Swan was concerned. "Besides," I continued laying the groundwork for my ruse, "our relationship was still pretty new at that point, so he wouldn't have mentioned it anyway."

"Right, right. I hear ya."

We exchanged small talk after clarifying that little detail, keeping to mostly mundane topics. I started to wonder if I needed to make a trip to the little boys' room to see what the hell was taking Edward so long. But then I saw Mike's eyes avert away from my boobs (thank fuck) to slightly up and over my right shoulder. That's when I felt a hand touch me and the voice of salvation say, "Hey there, beautiful. I'm back. Who's your friend?"

"Oh hey, Edward." I stood so I could make a proper introduction. "This is Michael Newton. We went to high school together."

Mike stood as well and offered his hand. "Hello, Edward. It's nice to meet you." The smile on Mike's face was as pleasant as it could be given the fact that I'd just rained all over his homecoming parade. "I'm so happy to have you guys here in my restaurant."

I turned to find Edward eyeing Mike like one of those highly trained police dogs ready to unleash on a bad guy. The glint in his eyes was one that dared Mike to make a false move. It screamed "please give me a reason to unleash the fury" and there was no denying that it was hotter than solitude in purgatory. I was almost willing to suffer such a thing if it meant seeing that look on a regular basis.

"Mike, this is Edward Cullen. My boyfriend."

Edward's eyes darted from Newton's face to mine as the meaning of my earlier text suddenly hit home. He gave me a devious smile that said he was totally game and more than likely going to enjoy the shit out of this bit of trickery.

"Pleasure to meet you, Michael. We're happy to be here." Edward shook Mike's hand and I felt my knees go just a little wobbly at seeing the corded tendons in his forearm flare, indicating the firmness of his grasp. "So, you and Bella went to high school together, huh?"

"Mike, please, I insist." I could see his hand give an answering squeeze. A few awkward seconds ticked by before either of them let go. "And Bella and I did a little more than go to high school together. She was my girlfriend junior and senior year."

"Oh, that must be why you look familiar. Bella actually pointed you out in some pictures from up in her room this morning." There was an air of deviltry that I detected, and I wondered where exactly Edward was taking this little tete a tete.

"I did?"

"Uh huh. Remember... just before we showered?"

_Ahhh. That's where. Well played, Mr. Cullen, well played._

Who was I to refute or clarify that little white lie, especially when I had oceanfront property in the desert I was trying to sell? Admittedly his boldness had me wishing I had taken him up on his earlier request of assisted back washing activities. Next time I'd reconsider before giving such a hasty answer.

Maybe... probably.

"Oh, that's right. I'd forgotten. Guess I sorta got mesmerized." I said, giving a small laugh that I hoped didn't sound fake or stupid. Not wasting an opportunity to push the envelope, I slid my arm around Edward's waist and tucked myself into his side.

Pulling me in tighter, a move of sheer genius, he leaned down slightly said, "Well, that makes two of us, Sweetness." Of course, this was just loud enough where Mike could hear. I had to wonder if my shiver was as visible as it felt.

Mike gave a nervous throat-clear and excused himself to go find our waitress. It was undeniably obvious that Mr. Newton was not accustomed to being bested in matters where the ladies were concerned. He had no idea who he'd gotten himself into a pissing contest with, poor schmuck.

Oh, the more things changed, the more they stayed the same.

As Edward and I sat down, I pondered the truth of that observation in direct application to our situation. Shit, we may have been playing up the whole relationship angle, but fuck me if it didn't feel as right as it ever did. The chemistry was still there, and quite honestly, it always had been. I'd just been ignoring the hell out of it for the last three months.

Dinner was absolutely perfect in every sense of the word. The food was amazing and the wine flowed freely. Our chairs were pushed together such that we were snuggled closer than close, the proverbial bubbles of personal space being violated without care or caution.

Every so often, one of us would catch a glimpse of Mike glowering in our direction. Edward would make it a point to lean over and whisper something nonsensical in my ear. There may have been a nuzzle or twenty exchanged between the two of us. And I relished every single one.

Somewhere during the course of the evening, things started to feel real. Like really real. The charade didn't seem so bogus anymore. It wasn't the alcohol or the blissed out feeling of a full stomach. It was the way that every fiber of my being responded to this man. God, how I missed those all-encompassing tingles that pranced through my system when he looked at me this way.

The atmosphere became more and more dense; desire loomed in the air and it had nothing to do with the wine. The neglected tension finally screamed at me to just fucking do something... anything. It only seemed right that I should feed Edward the warm chocolate pudding cake we decided to share for desert. And the chocolate sauce that had dribbled down his chin when I'd given him too big of a bite? It simply begged for me to lick it off. Being the merciful soul that I was, I did that very thing.

Only I didn't stop there. That was the closest I had been to his lips made of kryptonite in too fucking long. Not thinking twice, I grabbed his face with both hands and went for broke. I devoured his mouth, cake and all. Hands down, chocolate -flavored Edward was the most delectable thing ever. I'd almost forgotten how good he tasted.

It was all pudding and tongues in pure cocoa bliss. Tilting my head to deepen our kiss, I threaded my hands into his perfect hair and I'll be damned if I didn't tug just a little because it seemed like the thing to do.

I moaned. He moaned. And then we promptly signaled for the fucking check.

Not wanting to be rude, we exchanged a very hurried goodbye to Mike as we made our way out the door. It was like we couldn't get to the Rover fast enough. The way he grabbed my good hand and all but sprinted across the lot just made things that much more exciting.

I had no idea what we were doing or the implications of what I'd started would be. There was a huge part of me that didn't want to dwell on them either because that would only lead to me doing something ridiculously spazzy. I would fall into over-analytical thinker mode and that was not where I wanted to be tonight.

We were adults weren't we? Couldn't we just act first and sort the rest out later? And when did I become okay with this sort of thing? Obviously there was something wrong with the water in Forks because Charlie and I were both acting insane in the membrane today.

Despite the fact that a gazillion thoughts ricocheted around my cranium, I was struck quiet once we got in the car. I didn't even know where to start with what I wanted to say. I tried to catch the musings that flitted through my head and organize them into some sort of order that made sense. Instead, my overwhelmed mind focused on the white noise of the spinning wheels.

"Penny for your thoughts."

"Oh, sorry. I sorta spaced there for a second."

"Well, I'm dying over here Sweetn...Sw-Swan. Did I do a good job? I'm pretty sure Mikey bought it." He sounded so eager... excited even, and it was not lost on me that he almost called me by my special name. That quite frankly made me want to climb over the console and straddle him all the way back to Charlie's house.

"Of course he did. Those were not looks of happiness he was giving us."

"Ha! Awesome! Fucker can get glad just like he got mad."

"You really didn't see the fuck off and die look aimed at you?"

"No, I didn't," he said, glancing at me. Picking up my hand, he kissed it softly and said, "I was too busy looking at you."

_Okay, definitely wanna scale the console and mount the boy. _

I muttered something that was most likely unintelligible and giggle-stupid because my brain and my stomach were turning cartwheels. I was allowing myself to feel all those feelings that shalt not be felt and think all the thoughts that shalt not be thunk. It was completely exhilarating and glorious.

I had to figure out how to string together a coherent sentence so I could tell him that the whole thing wasn't really an act at all. That it couldn't have felt more absolute and right. That if anything, the last several months had been the act and I should have a fucking Oscar for pretending that I was fine just being friends.

"By the way, the bit with the cake, specifically the kiss?"

"Yeah?"

"That was masterful. I mean dammit, I even thought it was for real there for a second."

That very loaded statement was followed by a chuckle that was more than a little tinged with uncertainty. But there was something else there, too. Hope. I could tell by the expression on his face that Edward wanted to believe that it was real and not just part of some lame sham I'd cooked up to keep my ex from trying to molest me at the dinner table.

I decided it was time to 'fess up, to tell him that it was legitimate. It was, even if unintentionally, probably the most honest thing I'd done in a long while. That as sad as it was, despite me tricking my brain to get there, I meant everything behind that kiss. And I wanted more, even if I wasn't ready to label what exactly the "more" was yet.

It was my hope that Edward would be okay with figuring things out as we went along.

"Well, how would... I mean, what if -" I started, stammering for the right words that seemingly wanted to dump all at once from my brain and spew out of my cakehole. But as sure as my name was Bella Swan and everything had to be difficult, the very second I'd gotten my shit straight, my phone rang.

_Dear Universe, why do you always have to be such an epic nutsack to me? I'm trying here. Can't we call a truce please? _

"Shit, hold on. Let me see who I need to tell to fuck off." I picked up my cell and saw that it was Rosalie. She knew where I was and wouldn't be calling me unless something was up. "It's Rose. I better see what's going on."

"Okay, but the 'what if' is making me crazy over here."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll be quick."

I couldn't help but laugh when he shook his head and muttered under his breath, "Killin' me, Smalls. Fucking killin' me."

"What's up Rose?" I asked. "Is everything okay?"

"No! Everything is not okay, Swan. Shit is fucked up and it's all your fault."

* * *

**A/N:** *waves* Ohai my frands! Good to see you guys. Let's bring it in for big smooshy hugs, shall we?

So, you might be wondering how many chapters are left for these two crazy kids. Best I can figure, maybe three or four tops. Which means this thing might be done by Spring 2016. I kid, I kid. Well maybe not...hee.

I've groped my pre-readers of excellence **RoseArcadia**, **lola-pops**, **trinab74, Jenny0719 **and **lisamichelle17** so damn much that they've all got restraining orders on me. I mean, actions speak louder than words, right? Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

I need to give a lot of love to **MsKathy**. She gives the best advice ever. Best whip-cracker there is and I'm mighty thankful to have her in my life. Oh and gropes. She always gets those.

It would be wrong to grope the Beta Dude, **Stratan**, so instead I'll just give him a big high five and say "wicked pissah". He knows he's a rock star. I've told him plenty.

And how about ya'll? Thoughts on gropeage? Because I would love to grope and nom and squeeze on every last one of you. You're the butter on my biscuit and the marshmallows in my hot chocolate. Who's down for a cuddle? (No, I didn't have a hit of X before I wrote this. I dig you guys that much.)

If you're so inclined, hit me up on Twitter. I'm kind of random, but pretty much always pervy. http:/twitter(dot)com/stephk0525

Annnnd it's pantry time. I shit you not; there are two tubs and two boxes of cookie dough in my freezer. Let's bake those bad boys up and get sugar high. I get to sing Renee Zellweger's part though. If you got the reference, I totally just fell in love with you.

Happy Holidays to you and yours my loves. I'll be seeing you soon.


	18. Chapter 18 Collide

**Disclaimer: You know the drill by now. M for mature (though I use that term loosely). I like to use swear words. I like to talk about boobs and cock, both of which are allegedly in this chapter. Nothing from the blueprint belongs to me, so no copyright infringement is intended. I just like making them get a little freaky now and again.**

* * *

**Chapter 18 Collide**

**Bella**

"Wait...hold up a second, Hale. What's fucked up and why in the hell is it my fault?"

I heard Edward whisper "What's wrong with her?" and apparently Rose did too because she wasted no time in turning her frustration toward him.

"You tell Spingod that his dimple-faced, frustratingly-smooth and full of bullshit charm brother is what the fuck is wrong with me! And it's all because of you Bella Marie!" I had never heard her so out of sorts before and couldn't imagine what in the name of Cullen DNA Emmett had done now.

Covering my cell with my hand, I turned to Edward and very lowly told him that it had something to do with Emmett. Promising to fill him in as soon as I had all the details, I turned my attention back to my very distraught-drama-queen-of-a-friend.

"Take a deep breath for me, Hale, and then kindly tell me what is up your ass." My tone may have been a tad bit clipped as I was not in the mood for guessing games. I had my own personal revelations I was trying to deal with dammit.

"Dick. Cock. Penis. You know, that shit that I've been doing awesome without for a long fucking time? Well the one attached to Emmett Cullen has gone and fucked the smart right out of me."

"Come again?" I asked, still not totally sure what she was saying.

"Oh, I did, Swan... again and again and again and that is precisely what the mother-fucking-fuck is wrong here!"

"Whoa, wait a minute. Are you telling me that you and Emmett like, hooked up and shit?"

Edward spewed out a "no fucking way!", which I had to shush immediately, even though I echoed that exact sentiment. There was a story here, I could tell.

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Tell her what she's won, Johnny!" Rose spat, all sneery and full of sarcasm. I was getting a little irritated with her bullshit. The only thing that kept me from hanging up on her crazy ass was the fact that I knew Edward wanted to find out what had happened as badly as I did.

"Look, wench, you need to talk to me like I'm four and break it down for me, alright? Start at the beginning."

Little did I know I'd just asked to her take Pandora's Box and blow that bitch wide open. I listened intently, with my jaw on the fucking floor mind you, as Rose recounted the night that she left the bar with Emmett and that Tanya girl. Apparently their little tryst began as some crazy threesome that somehow ended up being about her and Em. Now she couldn't get him out of her head and had gone "pecker stupid" as she called it.

Once I'd processed what she'd told me, I couldn't help but giggle at her behavior. She hated to be the one all mesmerized and dumbstruck. Of course I knew that Emmett was into Rose; he was just smart enough to play it that he really wasn't. Conversely, she was used to being the enchanter, not the enchantee and this was decidedly unfamiliar territory for her. I understood why she was so frustrated, but it was still damn funny. At least it was on the surface anyway.

When push came to shove, Rose was in a position of vulnerability; she was nervous, apprehensive and didn't exactly know how to deal with that. Not many people got to Rose, but when someone did, it was a big deal. There was risk involved and it freaked her out. I, of all people, understood that.

So I did what any good friend would do; I provided a needed ear and an opinion if it was solicited. Putting the conversation that I needed to have with Edward on the back burner, I talked to her for the entire drive home, only hanging up when we got back to Charlie's. At least by the end of the phone call, Rose had calmed down. She just needed a little reassurance that Emmett's dick was not the source of all evil. I about lost my shit when she called it magical.

_Speaking of spellbinding Cullen brother junk..._

I knew that Edward would not let our discussion prior to Rose's phone call die off. I had no intention of letting that happen either. No more stonewalling and misdirection. It was time to start calling spades spades and not fucking clubs.

The house was dark, except for the porch light, and Charlie's cruiser was not in the driveway. Not that it was strange or anything, just facts that were conducive to baring one's soul... and maybe other stuff. I crossed all my fingers and toes that the fates had accepted my plea for a truce and I could do this without another untimely interruption. Apparently, that was the case, since according to the note on the kitchen table, my dad would be playing all-night poker with his crew.

Edward grabbed a beer from the fridge and I poured myself a glass of wine. I recounted my conversation with Rose in more detail so things would make more sense. Initially, his reaction was as stupified as mine had been. But the more he thought about it, the less ridiculous it sounded. He agreed that as crazy of a matchup as they seemed, that she and Emmett sort of made sense in a very oxymoronical sort of way.

We toasted to yet another couple we'd potentially brought together, even if it was unintentional. Since we were on the subject of couples and possibilities, I decided that the time was as good as any to lay it all out. We were alone, I'd had a little wine... so I gave myself a mental "let's do this thing" and suggested we move to the living room.

Taking Edward's hand, I led him to couch and sat down. I didn't let go of it either, opting to hold it between mine, or as best I could with a splint on anyway. I needed something to hold onto while I told him how I felt, what I wanted, and what I hoped for and hoped he wanted too. The minute I looked into his eyes, so full of anticipation, I thought my heart might beat right out of my chest.

"So..." Edward began. I knew that he was prompting me, all the while trying to remain nonchalant.

"So, I uh... wanted to get back to the topic of discussion before Rosalie called."

"The discussion being the kiss that you laid on me back at Mikey's."

"Exactly. You said that you even almost bought into it."

"I did. It was really convincing. Remind me never to play poker with you." His words might have been in jest, but the look on his face was anything but. I sure as hell wasn't running any games either.

"What if I wasn't bluffing, though?"

"I'm not sure I follow."

_Well, allow me to draw you a map then, dear boy._

I inhaled air like a fat kid at a Krispy Kreme: like life depended on it. I knew once the words toppled out of my mouth, oxygen would be a complete afterthought. It would be a party foul of dire proportions to pass the fuck out mid-confession. So I just let it rip.

"What if at some point I didn't want the charade anymore? What if I wanted it to be true?" I paused for a second, just to see if he had anything to say. When Edward didn't interject, I kept on going. "What if I told you that kiss felt as honest and true as before? What would you say?"

He looked at me like one of those optical illusion pictures, the ones that if you stare at them for a while you see something altogether different. I waited for his words, unsure as to whether they'd be of the "hell yes" or the "fuck off" variety. And thank fucking god that he smiled about a millisecond before full blown panic set in.

"I'd say do it again."

That was all I needed to hear. I angled in closer to him, my breath becoming shallow and my chest tightening in anticipation. I couldn't help but smile against his lips as he cradled my head in his hands. My eyes closed and then...

Heaven.

Edward's mouth was softer than the plushest of velvet and sweeter than honey straight from the comb. I took my time enjoying him, the way he felt and everything about the moment. It was almost as if we'd never missed a step, the familiarity of our touches like rote memorization.

Only I needed more of him; more of everything. The drought of physical intimacy had my entire being screaming. Now that there was some semblance of satisfaction, I wanted to drown in it.

Refusing to break the kiss, because dear lord my lips might've withered and died to stop, I maneuvered myself to straddle his lap. I needed every last bit of my body plastered against his, in all the necessary places that had been neglected for far too long. My hips rocked and ground against his in a long-awaited welcome; his greeted mine with fervor and force.

He squeezed my sides, pressing as hard as he could without breaking me. I pulled him as tight, with all the force my arms could muster. I could feel every glorious inch of him beneath me and it still wasn't enough; it was nowhere near the neighborhood of sufficient. I wanted skin-to-skin in some manner, in any measure. At least for the time being.

It was clear that he needed to be shown what the next move was, not for lack of knowledge, but for what was permissible. I knew Edward like the back of my hand - the gentleman in him would not take liberties just yet. With my good hand, I pried his from my hip and guided it up my torso where I rested it on my breast.

He tensed initially, but the contraction of my palm atop his eased any misgivings he had. I urged him to keep going, and whatever doubt might have held him back was quickly dissuaded with my humming sigh of approval.

Moving his mouth from mine to my neck, Edward expelled a throaty sound somewhere between a grunt and a moan. It was like a fucking opus to my ears and I wanted every last chorus up to and including the encore performance. I didn't realize how much I'd missed the music of his noises until I heard them again. How did ever I function with the silence?

_Barely_, I thought to myself. _Only just._

He sucked and licked at my neck and in natural response, my head lolled back of its own accord. God, I loved the way he kissed me in that one spot that drove me insane crazy. My skin positively tingled, every pore stood at attention and begged for more.

Edward had both hands on me now, and fuck that noise of a shirt I was wearing; that thing needed to get ghost. The look of surprise on his face at me pulling back away from his caresses was only surpassed by the outright shock of me making my top disappear. It's almost like he thought it was a mirage or something. I quickly showed him it was most definitely not by giving him an eye full of the girls.

Putting my lips by his ear, I whispered, "Put your hands on me, Edward."

He didn't need any further coaxing after that. Reaching around my back, he unclasped my bra, with only one hand, mind you, which was damn impressive. It was quickly tossed away along with every ounce of care I had for whether or not we'd be interrupted.

I sat there astride Edward's rock hard dick, which as luck would have it, was pressing right into my ladyness. Only that particular part of my body wasn't behaving like a lady as it was humping him like a wanton whore in full throttle heat.

Who could blame me given that Edward had his mouth on one breast, his hand on the other, sucking and licking, pinching and kneading. His humming against my skin sent chills in rippling waves all over my body. I'd forgotten how incredible his hands and mouth were; how good they made me feel. He knew just how to touch me in ways that made me mental; ways that no one else really had. How had I ever been okay with depriving myself of this?

"Motherfuck, I've missed your tits, Bella." He said, temporarily detaching his mouth from one nipple, presumably so he could catch a breath and switch to the other one.

"God, they've missed _you_." At least, that's what I thought I said. I was panting like a parched dog in triple digit temperatures; it was quite possible it came out garbled and not even remotely close to English. Yet somewhere between chest heaves, the thought occurred to me that I shouldn't be the only topless person in the room. How was that fair? I remedied the disparaging predicament by helping Edward out of his cumbersome shirt and flinging it somewhere beyond the confines of the couch.

Now that things were on a more level playing field garment-wise, Edward resumed his activities devouring my tits. His hands and mouth were everywhere and all at once and it felt like I was about to lose my ever-loving mind. The number of my "mmmhmmms" and "ahhhhhs" seemed directly proportionate the number of hands Edward seemed to sprout.

But my boobs weren't the only thing that were lacking in dexterital attention. There were other parts of my body, well really just the one place, that damn near ached for a reintroduction to those pleasure wielding hands. It suddenly struck me that we were in the very position as the night we officially met. And while we weren't within the confines of the gym's sauna, we were very definitely in a place where there was a risk of getting caught.

Fuck, was that hot.

Whether it was the fact that I craved the intimacy or the illicitness of it, I wasn't sure. All I knew is that if I didn't come, I might just fucking go postal all over Forks. It wasn't like firearms weren't at my disposal.

"Ed-Edward...fuck, I need you to touch me." I breathed into the crook of his neck, and then promptly bit him just because he smelled so fucking yummy.

"Sssss", he hissed, obviously surprised by my nibble, "I am touching you, Bella."

_Oh sweet Jesus. Do I need to make a sign? _

"No, Edward. I mean _here_." I then in fact led him by the hand to the desired destination. I unfastened my button and undid my zipper (not bad with just my good hand), then promptly shoved said hand of glory right down the front of my pants.

"Holy fuck, Bella. Are you sure ab-" He snapped his head up, eyes wild with uncertainty, but so full of lust.

I pressed his fingers against me, grinding into both our palms with complete and utter abandon.

This was going down if I had to drag him every step of the way.

"Will you just shut up and finger me already?"

My question, although categorically rhetorical, must have thrown him for a second. There was a moment of hesitation, like maybe he was being tested or something. Then he sort of grinned, like he was about to throw down the ace on a pile of poker chips. "As you wish."

_The boy just quoted cinema gold. I will legit come in record time. The clock starts now._

Maneuvering around my panties, I felt him slide his fingers inside me. I gasped. He groaned. I could only surmise that the very rumbly "fuck" he grunted out was in response to how wet I must have been. Not that I was leaking or anything; I mean shit, I wasn't a Ford. But I would imagine there was a respectable amount of lubrication given how worked up I was.

He started slow at first, sliding them in and out with cautious delicacy, almost as if he feared I might tell him to stop. As-fucking-if. There was no way in this jurisdiction, or any other for that matter I would halt the splendor of this moment.

I could feel the familiar tingle of my insides become stronger; with every undulating movement of his fingers, with each circular pass of his thumb over the concentration of all sensitivity, the rush and thrum within me threatened to explode. My cotton-covered hand was still over his, and I took it upon myself to show him what I starved for.

Increasing his speed and force with my manipulation, I rocked against the sensation, more than flirting with letting everything go. The sweet oblivion of sheer bliss was but a mere free fall away. All I had to do was tip forward.

I choked out a ragged "fuck yes", only to be followed by some sort of growl that couldn't have possibly been me. And then I finally let myself succumb to that blessed, numbed-out feeling that I'd been estranged from for far too long. Clutching Edward, gripping him for dear life, my entire body shuddered as I plunged deeper into that sweet abyss of pleasure. I had every intention of taking my sweet time getting back to the surface.

"That was... amazing." My voice was shaky, my breath steadily coming back to me in rhythmic pulls and exhales.

Edward had removed our hands from the confines of my pants, sad as it was, but that didn't deter me from writhing against him without a bit of remorse. It felt too fucking good. Even with the thin sheen of perspiration our torsos were covered in.

"You're amazing, Ms. Swan."

"But I got you all sweaty." I teased because there wasn't one part of me that was sorry.

"Best. Workout. Ever." He said, each word of his response punctuated with a kiss to my neck and collarbone. Except the last one; that last one was followed by an exclamation mark-tongue-swirl to my nipple that legit made me shiver. "Mmmm. Salty."

I giggle-whimpered at the sensation, due to the fact that it was equal parts tickley and stimulating. We sat there virtually glued together for who knew how long, Edward's rock-hard cock still pressed firmly into me. It occurred to me that this little stroll down finger-bangs-in-the-sauna lane was nowhere near complete. I wasn't the only one who got a happy ending back then; nor should I be now.

"I can't thank you enough for that, but I think things are a little unfair here, don't you?" I eased back off his lap to kneel down between his parted legs. Placing soft kisses along his glorious pecs, down the mid-line of his chiseled abs, I used my good hand, with the aid of my teeth, to unfasten the constraints of his jeans. I was getting to the goods come hell or high water.

I guess I sort of expected some sort of half-assed chivalrous attempt to stop me on his part. Admittedly, I was less than surprised to feel him tip my chin up to face him.

"Bella... I don't know... I mean your dad..." Edward trailed off. I said not a word; merely sat there looking at him, the 'are you fucking kidding me' expression etched all over my face. Clearly feeling the need to amble further, he added, "You don't have to, you know."

_Forget a shitty sign; I'm gonna have to write it on a damn billboard. Better yet, I'll take a cue from Pacey and buy a fucking wall._

"Will you please shut up and let me suck you already? Damn, Gina." He started to say something, and before he could even articulate a syllable, I stopped him cold. "And yes, I sure as hell wish."

With his help, I eased his pants and briefs down just enough to free his cock that I was sure had its own sign that said "mouth goes here". Instinctively, I moved to grab it with my right hand, which unfortunately was in a splint. I wasn't ambidextrous when it came to penmanship, but I was sincerely hoping that didn't apply to giving head. Sure a lot of the work was done with the mouth, but there was some necessary handiwork required.

Gripping him in my non-dominant hand, I lowered my head down and swirled my tongue around the tip. I licked and flicked around the head, pondering briefly how many licks it actually took to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. He tasted as good on my palette as his moan sounded to my ears.

I teased him, but when neither one of us could stand it anymore, I took as much of his shaft in my mouth as possible. Fuck, he was just as big as I remembered, and thankfully memory served me well when it came to me relaxing my throat muscles. That's all I needed was for him to think I was choking on his cock...

While my head bobbed up and down, my left hand didn't particularly get the whole correlative movement thing it was supposed to. Instead of the synchopative motion the two were supposed to have, I kept smacking my mouth with my fist. Now I couldn't speak for Edward, but I was getting really fucking frustrated at the lousy blow-job I was giving, especially after the fanfuckingtastic fingering I'd just had.

There had to be a better way to do this; some way to improve the situation. I sat back on my heels and thought for a minute. That's when the idea hit me. I immediately shushed Edward, silencing him with my upheld splinted-hand. Reluctantly he followed my instruction as I pulled his hips closer toward me, pulling his clothes down further while they were lifted.

Momentarily possessed by Jenna Jameson, it dawned on me that I was still topless. Perhaps the girls could be of some greater use here. I'd never done anything like the thought I was entertaining, but I was willing to give it a try. It wasn't like he'd tell me to quit.

I bent my head downward once more, this time strictly for lubrication purposes. I gripped the swells of his backside, enveloping as much of his length as I could. Edward muttered something that sounded like "holy shit", but the intermittent rumbles made it hard to decipher.

Once I had his cock good and wet from my saliva, I removed it and shoved it right in the middle of my boobs. I was hoping his very erect dick would enjoy a change of scenery. Perhaps a departure from the cavernous darkness to the lighted twin peaks was in order.

"Before you ask, I'm a little impaired with an injured hand here, and I want you to enjoy the shit outta this, Spingod." Whether he was confused or just plain stunned I didn't know, so I thought I'd be clearer. "You said you missed my tits, Edward. I think you should show them just how much by giving them a good fucking."

That statement crumbled the last vestiges of hesitancy he had. Edward's eyes were filled with pure lust and heat as he digested my words. I sandwiched my ta-tas around his kielbasa with sufficient pressure to create substantial friction. Luckily, I'd coated his peen with enough saliva and that combined with the thin sheen of sweat on my chest would allow for easy movement.

"Holy fuck...I-I...damn that's fucking hot, Sweetness."

Edward began to thrust, slowly at first enjoying the new sensation. His eyes were glued to the way his cock slid in and out of the valley of my breasts. He was feasting on the motion, the gliding roll and pulse was incredibly erotic and for sure like nothing I'd ever seen. Or done for that matter.

I could tell by the expression on his face, he wanted to make this last, but the cloudy, hungry look told a very different story. Shutting his eyes tight, it was almost as if not seeing what he was doing to me would somehow stave off the inevitable. It was a futile effort on his part; he couldn't keep them closed for more than a few seconds before the desire to see was just too much to resist.

Succumbing to what had to be his building release, he panted shaky exhales, his breath picking up in time with the surge of his hips. But unfortunately, the slide was starting to lose its slip. I could feel my perspiration dissipate and thought what a fucking time for my glisten to fail.

Apparently, my own respirations had sped up enough to cause an onset of cotton mouth. Of all the moments for my body to dehydrate... this had to be the damn one. The Universe was obviously not going to cut me a damn break, but I wasn't giving up. I was going to make the boy come if I had to stand on my head to make it happen.

"I'm starting to stick to you. Maybe you should put me back in your mouth, baby."

"Yeah, not gonna work," I said, running my tongue wildly over my lips in an effort to dampen my mouth. I glanced over to the coffee table where our drinks had been discarded earlier. My wine was pretty much gone, but there was enough of Edward's beer that I could make do.

"I got this." I told him, confident as shit this was going to work.

Beer was not my favorite, but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I took a swig, and while it helped a little, it didn't totally fix the situation. So I ad-libbed a bit by pouring a thin stream of beer down my chest, and subsequently onto Edward's length. Beer-lube...who woulda thought?

The gossamer trail of liquid sluiced downward, providing adequate dampness so that I could finish him off. It might have been an off-the-wall idea, but it actually made the whole thing more titillating, and yes pun damn well intended.

Edward didn't miss a beat either. He started slow, and save for the few gradual prods, he resumed a faster, more hurried pace. I could tell he was getting closer by the way his brow furrowed and his jaw slackened. And as per usual, I could see him over think the moment and jump three steps ahead to the ramifications of the cleanup afterward. Normally I was the one getting in my own way, but I would be damned if I was going to let him pull a 'me'.

"I know exactly what you're thinking, Mr. Cullen." He pulsed forward and I dipped my head down and flicked my tongue over his slit. "Don't. Just jack off in my mouth."

"Yeah?"

"Fuck. Yes." My voice was suddenly possessed with a purring tone, much like myself obviously still infused with the ghost of Porn Goddess Jenna. I liked it. A real fucking lot.

Edward extricated himself from my cleavage and gripped his dick. He began to pump it erratically, ferocious and fast. I'd never been one for much dirty talk, but at that moment my mind was filled with unabashed and shameless whore thoughts just dying to be my inner Ms. Jameson, I let them fly without a second thought.

"Do you have any idea how hot it is watching you stroke your cock, all up in my face like this?"

_Tongue swipe over the tip._

"Fuck, I love how hard you are. Look at you work it like such a good boy."

_Lip-wrap around the head and suck._

"Damn, I wanna taste you in my mouth so fucking bad, Edward."

"Oh yeahhhh... oh shiiiiit." The pace of his strokes sped up, so fast that his fist almost looked like a blur. Edward's face contorted, twisting in a grimace that was one of the steamiest, dead-sexy things my two eyes had ever seen.

"Come on, baby. Give me all of it. I wanna suck it all down." I threw in a few moans and fuck yeses for good measure.

His grunts gave way to growls, the guttural sound a clear indication that he was just about to give me what I was straight up pleading for. At the very last second, I closed my mouth over the tip and sucked. Hard.

And then he let me have it, and have it good. There were hisses, moans and too many "ahhhs" to count. My skin rippled with bumps hearing him say my name amid the low, raspy sounds.

I took every last bit of him into myself, and even though the salty piquancy of cum was not particularly pleasant, I imbibed it as if it were the most delectable thing I'd ever tasted. I hummed, feeling it trickle down my throat. Somehow, the blissful expression on his post-orgasmic face made it sweeter.

"I don't even have the words. That was fucking -"

"Awesome."

But XXX Bella wasn't done, not even close. I slid my left hand down the front of my still open pants. Easing two fingers inside, I swathed them in the lingering wetness. Straddling Edward again, he watched me with wide-eyed and rapt attention as I ran them over my lips and tongue.

I could taste the remnants of him, commingling with my own flavor. It was divine and far be it from me not to share. So I did, giving him a taste of us.

"So much better than beer."

"And so much better for the waistline." He said, unable to contain his adorably sated grin. Not that I'd have wanted him to; it was pretty much like getting a gold star. Shifting beneath me, Edward began to gently rub my back with his fingertips. "As much as I'd like to stay just like this for fucking ever, I think we better make ourselves presentable. You know, in case the Chief comes home. I like my anatomy attached to my body."

With a playful grab to said anatomy, I told him I did too. I had every intention of revisiting that very subject again and again and again...

I scooted off his lap and Edward stood up to head to the bathroom and straighten himself up. We each gathered our strewn casualties of clothing and began the sad state of redress. He'd made it about halfway up the stairs when his phone rang.

"Would you mind answering that for me, Bella?" He called over his shoulder, "I bet that's Emmett, and I really don't need to hear him brag about his threesome or what a studfuck he is."

"Why, you jealous?"

"Not in the slightest."

Edward disappeared from the landing and I grabbed his phone from the coffee table to do as he'd asked. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and I have no idea why in retrospect I didn't check the caller ID. I simply took his word that it would be Em and answered the phone accordingly.

"Your brother isn't interested in hearing about your conquests, dude."

There was a pause on the other end, but when a voice finally filled it, it wasn't the elder Cullen brother. The voice was female, and sure as shit not one that I recognized.

"Uh, I'm sorry. Maybe I have the wrong number. Is this Edward Cullen's phone?"

"It is." My voice went cold and sharp. "This is Bella. Can I help you?"

There was somewhat of an exasperated chuckle on the other end of the line. She obviously had no clue who I was, and I quickly checked the phone to see if it was just some random bitch from hook-ups passed that I needed to tell to get the fuck out. When I saw the name, I stopped cold. My heart fell into my stomach and I thought I might actually vomit all over Charlie's couch.

Our conversation was short and most definitely not sweet by any means, merely tolerated. I told her I would pass her message along to Edward, although I'd have rather been forced to wade through a pool of venomous snakes.

I just sat there, stunned, staring at the phone. Fuck technology to fucking hell. Why did I have to answer? Why did _she_ have to fucking call? And why the fuck now of all times?

"On a scale of one to nails-on-a-chalkboard, how annoying was my brother?"

"It wasn't him." I deadpanned, forcing myself to look at Edward.

"What's wrong? Who was it?" The look on his face was serious and filled with concern. I could only imagine the grimace and pout on my own.

"Bree Tanner. She called to tell you that she'll be in Seattle starting next Monday on business for a couple of weeks." I paused briefly so that I could choke out the rest of the message. "She said you guys had a lot of catching up to do."

I had no idea what might come of their reunion, but the sickening feeling that churned in my gut told me that it couldn't be anything good. At least not for me anyway.

* * *

A/N: Dun dun dunnnn...heehee.

Pretty please with sugar on top and swirly-whirly gumdrops, don't hate me? I love you guys in ridiculous amounts, cross my heart. All will be well muffins.

Oodles of thanks to my amazeballs pre-readers **RoseArcadia**, **lola-pops**, **trinab74, Jenny0719 **and **lisamichelle17**. I would literally be in a corner, chewing my hair and singing random showtunes if not for this crew. True story.

I'll skip any sort of compliment that contains the word "balls" in reference to the Beta Dude, **Stratan.** You know, for obvious reasons. There's a fair amount of awesome to the boy, but trust me, he knows it. That doesn't mean I'm any less grateful that he deals with me and...yeah. That says it all.

And you guys...there aren't enough wonderful things for me to say about all of you. I want to braid your hair, I want to feed you bon bons, I want to serenade you with cheesy Michael Bolton songs. Okay, maybe not the last part, but you get the idea...I kinda dig you.

Should the mood strike you, hit me up on Twitter. I'm a foul Betty, but for the most part pretty harmless. http:/twitter(dot)com/stephk0525

Alrighty then, it's destination pantry. I've got Pinwheels, Fruit Loops and peanut butter-filled pretzels. There's also a bottle of Seagrams that we could really have some fun with on the top shelf. Cop a squat and let's get silly.

I hope everyone's 2012 is 100% kickass. Until next time my friends.


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